My Calendar Men Boxed Set (26 page)

She was too good for him and that was the firm belief in his mind. His past was nothing but bad roads he took until he joined the military and Casey found him. Malachi pulled over to the side of the road and let the memories of his past assault like fists to his subconscious. He’d first shifted at seventeen. His mother screamed in terror and kicked him out. Nora Gordon called him a freak like his father. He still didn’t know who that was because she never spoke of the man other than to emotionally abuse him with teasing snippets of the man. His mother was a first class bitch, and he figured it out from an early age. She was quick to use her fist on him until he grew too big and she feared him enough not to raise her hands. But that didn’t stop her from cursing him back to the time he was planted in her womb. He heard it all. He was a botched abortion to a product of rape, so when she kicked him out calling him trash and an abomination, one thing struck him as funny. Nora Gordon actually knew a word that was bigger than her favorite four letter chant. He never even went back to find out who his father was. If the man had any decency as a parent, Malachi knew he would never have been raised by the woman he called mother.

Still, being on his own led him down the wrong side of the tracks, and the military saved him from a life of crime while the Army Beasts gave him a home. Most of the rest of them were panthers and tigers. Casey was a mountain lion while he was the only black bear. Sometimes he felt out of place. The others were sleek and fast while he felt as if he lumbered along. Still, he knew in bear form he was a formidable creature, and he was a key part to the unit who was now going private. As a human, a man in love, he couldn’t bear to see the look of terror in Mae’s eyes or disgust in her voice. So goodbye was best, even though it was killing him inside. On impulse he took his phone from the pocket of his coat and called one person who could probably understand his reasoning. The line rang once, and the growl on the other end of the line made his lips curve in a quick smile.

“What! This better be good.”

“Did I wake you, Zander? Awww so sorry,” Malachi said. The apology was of course not real. He loved busting Zander’s chops on occasion. He liked the friendship he’d formed with him. By far he was closer to him than the rest of the team even though he loved them all like brothers.

“Who is it?”

Malachi heard the sleepy voice of Zander’s wife Anya, and he grinned. He was fond of her too, and the crap she had to deal with since her change hadn’t broken her. In fact it seemed to strengthen her and the bond she shared with Zander. He envied all the men in his team who had now found mates, and it seemed he was destined to be the only one alone. That thought left a feeling of despair in his chest.

“It’s Mal, baby, go back to sleep. I’m going to step into the den,” Zander said to her and then spoke into the phone. “This better be good, Mal. Did you call me because you couldn’t sleep or something because I will hunt you down.”

“No…I broke it off with Mae,” he said.

“Shit she left you. Sorry, man,” Zander replied. “It’s a tough break. I know you had feelings for her.”

“You’re getting it wrong. I broke up with her,” Malachi explained.

There was silence before Zander spoke again. “Why’d you do a fucked up thing like that?”

“Because I love her,” he stated.

“Ok, let me get this straight. I’m hoping that my brain is intentionally losing the gist of this, or I’m still half asleep,” Zander said. “You love her therefore you left her, and you’re calling me to tell me about it.”

“That’s about right,” Mal said. “It’s tearing me up, man. If you saw her face… She threw things at me. It was brutal.”

“You wanna know why it’s bothering you?”

“Yeah why?”

“Cause you’re a moron!” Zander yelled into the phone and made him wince. “Why would you leave a woman who obviously cares for you, you big dumb buffoon!”

“Hey now, let’s not be calling me names. I will come kick your ass,” Malachi said. “I thought you’d understand.”

“Sure you can come try that and see who wins because I’d like to kick your ass right now too,” Zander snapped. “Why would you think I would understand this? Oh, you want me to say poor Mal, it was a hard road you had to walk, so I see why you left the woman who would freaking walk over coals for you. Forget that, buddy. You did the most idiotic thing ever. We all walked that road you are on. Hell, I think I was in way more trouble than you ever were. Get over the past and move the fuck on.”

Malachi listened to Zander’s harsh words dumbfounded. “You’re a fine one to talk, Zander. You were the poster boy of dysfunction a few months ago.”

“Hell yes I was, and I had to learn to let it go, and Anya was the key.” Zander sighed. “Shit, Mal, a woman’s love is a powerful thing, and each day I look at her and think of how lucky I am. I want to see you happy too, and Mae is the one. When you finally told me about her I could see it in your face that you loved her. Why would you take that away from either one of you?”

“I’m a bear shifter. Did you forget about that?” Malachi said harshly. “I show her the truth and she’ll run as fast as she can in the opposite direction away from me. Look at how my mother acted when she had me. I don’t ever want a kid of mine to feel that kind of hurt.”

Zander snorted. “And you think Mae is that kind of person? Malachi, I know you if she had a trace of hatefulness in her you’d have been gone a long time ago, and you wouldn’t be calling me. From what you’ve told me your mother was worse than a wolf mother who eats her young. You called me for my opinion, so here it is. Go back and grovel at Mae’s feet until she takes you back, and love the hell out of that woman. Bring her home to meet the rest of the wives and let her be a part of this family. You don’t have to be alone.”

“You think I should, huh?” Malachi asked quietly, contemplating everything Zander said.

“In the end it’s your choice, bro. But if you don’t, you’ll wonder for the rest of your life if she was the one who got away,” Zander was solemn when he spoke.

“She told me in no uncertain terms that some other guy would be doing things to her body that I hadn’t. I wanted to beat the unknown man with my bare hands,” Malachi admitted. “And she threw things at me.”

Zander laughed. “I like her already. If she takes you back then you can stop waking me up in the middle of the night and getting me out of bed with my hot wife.”

“Ok, first time it ever happened and you did the same to me when you had insomnia slash pre-wedding jitters. I got up and drove with you to some burger joint,” Malachi pointed out.

“You didn’t complain at the time and ate like twelve burgers,” Zander said.

“Four, and you hogged the fries,” Malachi shot back.

“Good times though.”

Malachi grinned. “Yeah, I’ll let you know how it turns out one way or the other.”

“Sounds like a plan, good luck.”

Malachi pressed the disconnect button on his touch screen phone and stuck it in the dashboard of the car. It was past seven, and the sun had gone down enough that the woods were darkening with shadows. Mal knew this would not just a matter of telling her. Knowing Mae she would kick him out of the house before the words bear shifter were fully past his lips. He loved her quick wit, the way her full lips were always willing to smile or pout even though she denied that she did it. Her eyes were light brown which was a striking contrast to her ebony skin. She kept her dark hair up in a ponytail when she was working. With him it was always down around her shoulders. He knew she did it to look pretty for him. In his opinion, she never needed a dash of makeup or lipstick. Mae was perfect just as she was. Once he came to see her, and she had it in two pigtails on either side of her face. Recalling how sexy she looked and how much he wanted to ravish her made his temperature climb a few notches.

There were hiking trails in the woods, and he pulled his car into one of the gravel parking lots that the conservation reserve boasted for its patrons. Luckily, it was a small town and there wasn’t any security. The bliss of living like the horrors of the outside world could never take place was one of the reasons he liked coming to Carlton River. If she took him back after his stupidity maybe they could settle here. It was close enough that he could get to the unit in cases of emergencies or a mission. That was if she didn’t hit him with a bat. Zander was right. He would have to tell her the truth, show her his secrets and let the chips fall where they may. She’d asked him to give them a chance, and he had said no. Now it was time for the black bear to face his biggest foe—the wrath of Mae Thorne. Malachi found himself wishing for a bad guy behind a fifty-caliber gun instead of her icy stare. Mae would be brooding out in her yard sitting on the wooden swing she had. It was one of her rituals that he also liked, sitting outside after dinner and watching the stars come out in the sky.

He casually walked into the woods along one of the hiking trails before diverting into the thicker part of the woods. There in the gathering night he stripped from his clothes and let the bear loose in his mind. He felt the sensation run up his spine like a jolt of electricity and watched his skin coat with thick dark fur. He made sure not to roar not wanting to bring attention to himself and lumbered away. He would have to take the woods and follow it to her yard.
Please let her love me for who I am,
he thought to himself and moved faster. Years of abuse and self-doubt about who he really was left its toll, and even though he fought the demons, sometimes they came back in full force. He hoped Zander was right and he could have what everyone else in the Army Beasts had found in the arms of their women.

* * * *

Her tears were all dry. Mae felt like she could cry for days, but she had no more to give. It was her fault really. She should never have let him get so close. She wasn’t the type to fall for some smooth lines, and Malachi wasn’t the one to give them. It was his quiet demeanor. His actions alone conveyed more than words. Mae thought he felt the same way. How could she have been so foolish?
Ugh, I want to hit something!
If Malachi was around, she thought she would punch him. The thought gave her no comfort since he was built like a wall. She would probably end up breaking her hand. Instead she took a sip of her beer and looked up at the stars. They usually brought her comfort, tiny diamonds in the midnight blue sky. Tonight they seemed dull as if they couldn’t break through the darkness, but maybe it was because of her heartache. She was not going to be able to forget Malachi, and for all her brace words, no one else would match up to him. She sighed sadly.

The sound of breaking branches in the woods had her looking into the darkness that leaked between the trees. She shined her flashlight at the woods and saw nothing at first. Then more snapping and a big black bear lumbered out and into her back yard. It was huge. She’d seen bears before, and none ever seemed so big, even at the zoo. They had a stare down for a few seconds, and it let out a loud roar or yowl. She didn’t quite know. The bear started to come toward her, and she knew that making it to the back door was going to be impossible from where she had set the swing in the yard.
Why didn’t you move it closer to the house!
She berated herself and looked around wildly. The only thing she could do is scramble up the tree next to the swing.
Can bears climb?
God, she hoped not. She wished she’d brought her cell phone outside. A call to nine-one-one would at least ensure she didn’t sleep in a tree if the bear decided not to go away.

“Shoo, shoo, go away, bear. There’re little animals in there you can chase,” she said from the tree and waved her arms. “Ooooh, yummy bunny rabbit, nice and fluffy. Go get it, bear, go on.”

The craziest thing happened at that point. Maybe it was a loss of blood to her head because she was so damn afraid. The bear seemed to bend low and shudder, and in the blink of an eye, a very naked Malachi stood in its place. He looked up at her and gave her a boyish grin that made her racing heart skip a beat.

“Why would I chase a bunny when I have you?” he asked.

“Mal…you’re just…you were a…bear.” She stammered as her mind tried to comprehend what just happened. “First a bear then there was you.”

“I know, baby. It’s the one big secret I was keeping from you,” Malachi said softly.

“Oh ok, you’re a bear,” Mae said weakly and heard buzzing in her ears. “So, I think I’m going to faint and probably fall out of the tree.”

“Oh, shit, Mae!”

She heard the panic in his voice just before everything went black. She felt her body fall and hoped to hell Malachi the bear would catch her.

Mae woke with a start and looked around wildly. The last thing she remembered was being up a tree and a bear turning into Malachi.
No more beer for me,
she thought and rubbed her head. It had to be a dream since she was now lying on her sofa.

“I made you some tea.” Malachi’s voice came from the kitchen, and her gaze flew to him standing in the doorway.

“When did you come back?” she asked.

He walked across the room and sat on the sofa next to her. Mae pulled her feet up until she could rest her head on her knees, and looked at him warily.

“Let’s see, I was the bear under your tree, and when I took my human form, you fainted, and I brought you inside and found some of the clothes I left here to put on.” He smiled. “Then I made you a cup of tea.”

“So all that was real?” Mae questioned hesitantly.

He placed the cup on the coffee table and looked at her. “Yes, it was.”

“Well damn.” She didn’t know what else to say but then slapped his chest hard. “You could’ve told me before now.”

“Before you fell in love with me?” he asked, and she saw pain and uncertainty in his eyes. “I understand completely. I’m an aberration of nature.”

“You think I’m upset because of what you are?” She slapped his chest again. “I’m not that shallow, Mal. Why do you think I stare up at the stars? Because my dad used to take me outside and we’d talk when I was a child. Mae, he’d say, man is a proud creature to think that a God as infinite as ours only created us. There are more worlds out there with more species than we can even imagine, and one of these days, we’ll learn that earth is not the only one. He told me how he saw a UFO once, and I was enthralled. Then he died, and I kept looking into the sky for those UFOs. Not only because I believe, but because it made me feel closer to my father. No, it’s become a habit to relax me, so why would I think you are anything but a wonderful being that God made for a reason?”