My Best Friend's Brother (23 page)

I stood there half hoping for a sorry or an explanation to the way he has been acting.

"I think it is for the best if we don't see each other anymore." He doesn't even look at me as he says it and quickly turns to head back into the room, but not before saying "sorry".

I felt as though he had just stabbed me in the chest.

I stood there for what seemed like forever, but was really only a minute.

Shortly after he closed the door I hear yelling within, but I don't even bother listening,

I just want to go home.

By the time I arrive home everyone is already up.

Kira and Robbie were both out at an early antenatal appointment, leaving Ricky alone.

"Hello Hop, we were wondering where you were." Ricky said as I made my way into the house.

I couldn't hold it anymore.

I felt to the ground and broke down crying.

Ricky's expression dropped and he ran over to catch me.

"What’s wrong Hope? Did something happen to Dean?" He asked cradling me in his arms.

"No he's fine, he's awake, and he said he was sorry. I'm fine now." I said through sobs.

Ricky picks me up and carry's me up to my bedroom and sits us both down on the bed, making sure to still hold me in one arm.

"So what is it?" he asked confused.

"I don't know what I did. I think he blames me for Dean. He just ignored my since it first happened and now Nate broke up with me." I ramble out, never once stopped crying.

"He must hate me." I add as an afterthought.

I noticed Ricky clench his fist and go to stand, but I stop him.

"Please down do anything." I beg.

"I can't promise that." He said through clenched teeth.

"Please just stay with me for now, I don't want to be alone" I cried some more.

He gives me a heartbreaking look and nods.

I lay down and he follows. He held me close and let me cry into his chest, until I fell asleep.

Nate

I felt depressed ignoring her for all these days and then today, Dean woke up and I wasn't depressed anymore.

Or at least not until she turned up.

We were all laughing and joking, including me when the door opened.

She stepped into the room and immediately broke down when she saw Dean.

I had to use everything in me not to go and run to her and hold her, wipe away her tears.

But instead I said nothing, earning a 'What the hell' glare from almost everyone in the room because of it.

She sat on the bed in the arms of my brother; he was whispering things to her and telling her not to worry, as did the rest of my family.

But again I said nothing.

Everyone started the talk among their selves, as did Dean and Hope.

I couldn't help but watch in envy as the pair spoke.

"I'm starting to think maybe you should be worried." I heard Matt say.

I didn't like what he said, but kept up my facade and shrugged my shoulders as if I didn't care.

Matt glared and shook his head; I knew he agreed with everyone else, that I was being a dick.

But I just continued for another minute to watch as Dean rubbed circles on Hope's back.

How I wished it was me comforting her.

I missed holding her so much, but this was the best way... wasn't it?

Shortly after Dean told everyone Hope had to go and everyone, but me said goodbye to her, as she waved and went to leave the room.

"Be right back." I tell the others before standing up and following Hope out of the room.

She is just about to close the door when I stop her.

She turned to look who it was and hope flashed through her eyes when she noticed it was me.

Part of me, well actually most of me was beating myself up for what I was about to do, but another part was telling me it was for the best.

I tried my best not to look her in the eyes, as I knew I wouldn't be able to do what I had to if I did.

I felt as though I had ripped out my heart as I began to say

"I need to say something." I paused to psych myself up.

Hope nodded and I closed the door, so the others couldn't hear us.

"I think it is for the best if we don't see each other anymore" I said avoiding her gaze, I then quickly spun around and headed back into Dean's room, but not before saying "Sorry."

I walked in and closed the door behind me, not looking back.

I looked up from the floor and saw everyone's gaze on me.

"Yes?" I asked, knowing the question already.

"You made up?" Matt was the one to ask trying to hide a smile.

"No, I broke up with her." I said nonchalantly.

Matt's smile fell and turned into shock and confusion.

"Why the hell did you do that?" I was surprised to hear Dean ask.

"It doesn't matter, it's already done." I say taking my seat again.

"The hell it doesn't matter." Heather joins in.

"Yeah, why would you do that? You were so much happier when you were with her." my Mom asked.

I didn't answer.

"Because he is a stupid idiot." My Dad said, still reading his newspaper.

My Dad was normally a quiet man, but you didn't want to get on the wrong side of him.

I never said anything again.

Dean sat glaring at me "Seriously, why?"

"Why what?" I ask.

"Don't play dumb, you know what he means." Matt yells getting annoyed at me evading the question.

This went on for another couple of minutes before my Dad had enough.

"Just answer the bloody question already." He said, slamming down his paper.

He wouldn't admit to out loud, but we all knew both my parents thought of Hope as another one of their children.

After all, she did spend most of her holidays since childhood playing or staying with us.

"It's for the best." I said in a hushed voice hoping they wouldn't hear me, but they did.

"For the best? How did you work that out?" Dean growls.

Before I had a chance to answer Matt interrupted. "It's for the best to not only break her heart, but also your own? Geez man, I really don't understand you at all sometimes." There was obvious annoyance in his voice.

Heather got up from her seat and stood in front of me. "I have had enough of you using and hurting my best friend all the time. I've tried to call her and text her and she's not even answering me. I hate you so much right now." She hit me in the head, but I just sat and didn't react.

I was too depressed, I deserved worst.

"Why do you always play with her?!" She yells, hitting me again.

This time I snapped and yelled back. "I never played!"

I heard Dean laugh sarcastically. "Could have fooled me!"

"What the hell? I thought you would be happy. She is single now, you have a chance." I snap at him.

"Is that what this is all about? You think I want to steal her from you?" He asked shocked.

"Not entirely..."

"Then what? I'm not going to deny I like her, but I know you care for her a lot too, as does she for you and I would much rather have a happy brother and her as a friend, than a depressed her and idiotic depressed fool as a brother." I am taken back by his sudden confession.

But I still wasn't sure.

"But ..." I trail off sadly.

"But what?" Matt asked more calmly.

"It's all my fault." I clutch my face into my hands.

"You were ok until we got together and then I hit you and this happened..."

Everything become too much, I broke down and began to cry.

I half expect Matt to start laughing at me; call me a wussy or a girl.

"That's what this is all about really?" Mom asked this time walking over to me and hugging me.

"You really are stupid." I heard Matt mumble in a hushed voice.

"Yes. You’re right." Both Dean and Heather agree.

"You know why?" He asks.

"No." I didn't move out of my mom's grip.

"None of this was your fault. I was sick even before you got home and the punch I deserved and saved my life.

I am glad you hit me, not only because it saved me, but also because I don't know what I would have done to her if I had taken her with me. And one last thing I have to confess, which I am not proud about, but I wasn't thinking straight at the time remember..." Dean paused to make sure everyone was listening.

"I was stalking her; if you look at my phone you'll see all of the photos of her. Plus I had hacked into her laptop and would watch her through her cam.... I also broke into her room and watched her sleep a few times. I know how it sounds now and how crazy I was able to do it. But at the time, it seemed like a totally normal thing to do. It was like... I don't know how to explain it... it was like everyone else was acting weird and I was the only normal one." He laughed at the last part.

Everyone was shocked by his admission, but understood he was sick.

I pulled away from my Mom and looked at Dean.

"I understand honey, it wasn't your fault it was the tumor. But I think you should tell this all to Hope another time. Maybe not today, but soon." Mom said now holding Dean.

"You really don't blame me?" I ask, having second thoughts about what I did earlier.

"No of course not you prat. Do you blame me for everything I did to Hope?"

"No not at all, you were sick." I say without a second thought.

"Exactly, so why do you blame yourself?"

I realized that I made a huge mistake.

I jumped out of seat and ran out the room.

"God I am such an idiot!" I yell at myself.

I didn't notice someone calling after me until I got out.

"Nate...Nate stop a second." I hear my twin yell to me.

I do as he asks and wait for him to catch up.

He stops in front of me and bends over, holding his hands on his knees.

"You’re fast." He sounded like he was trying to get his breath back.

"What is it?" I didn't want to stand around too long.