My Beloved World (44 page)

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Authors: Sonia Sotomayor

Tags: #Biography & Autobiography, #Personal Memoirs, #Lawyers & Judges, #Women

BOOK: My Beloved World
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Acknowledgments

Before thanking the people who helped me with this book, I must thank the inordinately large number of friends and family, mentors and colleagues, who have made significant contributions to my life, without whom there might be no reason for a book. Even acquaintances and strangers have made lasting impressions. Just as I was unable to include in these pages many of my experiences and people who have played a part in my life, I cannot acknowledge all of you here by name. To those who have shared important parts of my life, know you are deeply valued even if you or those experiences are not mentioned.

There are many who helped me in the writing of this book by sharing memories or gathering information. If I do not acknowledge you here, it is because your importance in my life and my gratitude to you has already been made clear to the reader. Others who are vitally important to me today are not mentioned because you entered my life after I first became a judge, where this book ends.

I do want to give special thanks to a number of friends not included in the book who have been directly instrumental in the process of its creation and publication.

Given the demands of my day job, this book would not have been possible without the collaboration of Zara Houshmand. Zara, a most talented writer herself, listened to my endless stories and those of my families and friends, and helped choose those that in retelling would paint the most authentic picture of my life experiences. Zara, you are
an incredible person with a special ability to help others understand and express themselves better; I am deeply indebted to your assistance. One of the most profound treasures of this process has been the gift of your friendship, which will last a lifetime.

I am truly grateful for the contributions of my editor at Alfred A. Knopf, George Andreou, in helping make my stories come alive. George’s deft editorial touch added much, but he also expertly guided me through the publishing process. I am enormously grateful as well to Sonny Mehta, the publisher of Knopf, who has treated me with much kindness and attention. Everyone at Knopf with whom I have met and worked, and everyone at Random House, Inc., Knopf’s parent, has extended assistance with professional skill and grace. I am appreciative of all of your efforts.

Research related to Puerto Rico, help in reviewing the manuscript, and translation of this book from English to Spanish were particularly important. I am especially indebted to three people for their tireless efforts in this part of the book’s development. I can never catalogue all of the work they have volunteered in helping me with this book or the many gifts of love they have given me through the years. I can only say thank you to Xavier Romeu-Matta, a brilliant lawyer who was my law clerk during my first year as a federal district court judge; his wife, the accomplished writer Lyn Di Iorio, professor of English (and unofficial language and literature in Spanish expert) at the City College of New York and CUNY Graduate Center; and Emérida Rivera, who has traveled repeatedly throughout Puerto Rico to help in my research and proven by example that saintly hearts and souls still exist in the world. The Hunter College Center for Puerto Rican Studies also provided invaluable background materials. Thanks are due also to Ligia Pesquera and Ángel Rivera, whose kind hospitality supported our research in Puerto Rico; to Sylvia Gutiérrez, who assisted with travels; and to Lourdes Pérez, who provided background on Puerto Rican poetry.

I am grateful to Amanda Tong, Colin Wright, and Kate Beddall for their help in transcribing and translating interviews, and for the reflections they offered.

Another gift in the process of producing this book has been working
with and befriending my book agent, Peter Bernstein, and his wife, Amy Bernstein, of the Bernstein Literary Agency. You both have shepherded this book with consummate professional skill, sage advice, and caring. I thank John S. Siffert of Lankler Siffert & Wohl LLP, and his wife, Goldie Alfasi, for introducing me to Peter and Amy and for being such supportive friends during this process. I also thank John for introducing me to Richard Hofstetter and Mark A. Merriman of Frankfurt Kurnit Klein & Selz, PC, and for their legal and professional advice. John, I am especially grateful for the wise legal counsel you gave me in drafting the book proposal, overseeing the contract negotiations, and reviewing this book. I have three brothers: my birth brother, you, and Robert A. Katzmann. All three of you have supported me through my recent life experiences in ways that cannot be acknowledged here but are inscribed in my heart.

Some friends who are not named in the text shared memories that appear in the book or reviewed the manuscript to offer advice. Each of you is special to me and I acknowledge you here in chronological order of your appearance in my life: Peter Kougasian, with whom I shared experiences at Princeton University, Yale Law School, and the New York County District Attorney’s Office; Paula DiPerna, a journalist and author whose book
Juries on Trial: Faces of American Justice
provides an account of the child pornography trial; Cynthia Fischer, the second female partner at Pavia & Harcourt, and David Glasser, an associate then at the firm; Nicole Gordon, founding Executive Director of the New York City Campaign Finance Board; Mari Carmen Aponte, now United States ambassador to El Salvador and then member of the Puerto Rican Legal Defense and Education Fund (now Latino Justice); Robert Sack, a former colleague on the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit Court; and Jennifer Callahan, documentary film producer and writer.

Lee Llambelis and Ellis Cose, you encouraged me to write this book and guided me in the initial process of thinking about having it published. I give special thanks also to Sue Anderson and Kitty Reese: you pitched in each time I needed help to get things done while I worked on the book. You are all incredible friends. Thank you.

Finally, I thank Ricki Seidman, whom I worked with during my Supreme Court confirmation process and who has become a precious friend. Ricki tirelessly reviewed multiple revisions of this book and offered thoughtful suggestions that have improved it immeasurably.

A life filled with loving and caring family and friends such as mine is truly blessed.

Glossary

    
abuelita:
grandma

    
aguinaldo:
here, Christmas folk song

    
ají:
pepper; hot pepper

    
arroz con gandules:
rice and pigeon peas

    
Bendición, Abuelita:
Bless me, Grandma; blessing

    
bisabuela:
great-grandmother

    
brujería:
witchcraft

    
burla:
mockery

    
café con leche:
coffee with milk

    
chiflado:
literally, crazy, a looney, and used to translate for “stooge” in the title and show
The Three Stooges

    
china:
orange, as in the fruit

    
chuletas:
pork chops

    
como una maldición:
like a curse

    
Dame un cigarrillo:
Give me a cigarette

    
despedida:
farewell

    
Dios te salve, María, llena eres de gracia: El Señor es contigo. Bendito tú eres entre todas las mujeres y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre: Jesús. Santa María, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte …

Hail Mary, full of grace: The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among all women and blessed is the fruit of your womb: Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and in the hour of our death …

(from the Roman Catholic “Hail Mary” prayer)

    
el jurutungo viejo:
the boondocks; the end of the world

    
el luto:
mourning

    
embusteros:
liars

    “En Mi Viejo San Juan”: “In My Old San Juan.” A bolero written by Puerto Rican composer Noel Estrada in 1943. It is considered by many Puerto Ricans to be a kind of unofficial anthem. It enshrines the narrator’s desire to go back to his longed-for city by the sea, and the melancholy realization that this will never happen.

    
Es el precio de hacer negocios:
It’s the price of doing business

    
espera:
wait

    
espiritismo:
Spiritism

    
¡Estás loca!:
You’re crazy!

    
Feliz Navidad:
Merry Christmas

    
fiambreras:
lidded, stackable dinner pails made of iron or other metal; also, the food that is made elsewhere and delivered in these pails

    
ficha:
a playing piece; usually refers to dominoes

    
flamboyán:
flamboyant; also known in the anglophone Caribbean as the flame tree or the Royal Poinciana

    
grosella:
a small acidic yellow or red berry that grows in backyards, or wild, in Puerto Rico; sometimes known as an Otaheite gooseberry

    
guagua:
bus

    
güiro:
musical instrument made from an elongated, hollowed-out gourd with notches on one side, played by rubbing a stick with tines along the notches

    
jíbaro:
the straw-hatted peasant farmer or laborer who plays a significant role in Puerto Rican culture and identity; the values attributed to this almost mythical figure are being traditional, hardworking, plainspoken, and sagacious

    
la nata:
cream; also, the skin on milk

    
la tetita:
the tit; here, to denote the crunchy end of a loaf of Puerto Rican
criollo
bread

    
lechón asado:
roasted pig

    
Mercedes chiquita:
little Mercedes

    
merienda:
midday meal; light lunch; snack

    
mi’jita:
my dear; honey

    
Nacimiento:
Nativity scene

    
nena:
girl

    
¡No me molestes!:
Don’t bother me!

    
No tengas miedo:
Don’t be afraid

    
para:
here, stop

    
picadillo:
seasoned ground beef

    
Que Dios te bendiga, te favorezca, y te libre de todo mal y peligro:
May God bless you, favor you, and deliver you from all evil and danger

    
¡Qué guapo!:
He’s so handsome!

    
¿Quieres una china?:
Do you want an orange?

    
quinqué:
country-style oil lamp

    
recao:
an herb also known as
culantro
, or Thai parsley, which is one of the basic ingredients of the spice mixture known as
sofrito
used in so many Puerto Rican recipes

    
rosario:
rosary

    
santos:
saints; here, statues of saints

    
sebo de flande:
mutton tallow used as a folk remedy for bruises and cuts

    
sofrito:
seasoning sauce made of tomatoes, chopped peppers, onions, garlic, and
recao
or
culantro

    
tamarindo:
tamarind

    
¡Te vas a enfermar!:
You’ll get sick!

    
tío:
uncle

    
titi:
a term of endearment for
tía
, or aunt

    
tostones:
fried green plantain

    
¿Tú estás ciego?:
Are you blind?

    
¡Vámonos de parranda!:
Let’s go out caroling!; let’s party!

    
velada:
séance (although in Puerto Rico, the connotation is more often that of vigil, as for a corpse)

    
vendedor:
salesman

    
vivero:
livestock market

    
Yo soy Celina:
I am Celina

A PUERTO RICO (REGRESO)
To Puerto Rico (I Return)

by José Gautier Benítez
Translated by Lyn Di Iorio

    Por fin, corazón, por fin,

    alienta con la esperanza,

    que entre nubes de carmín

    del horizonte al confín,

    ya la tierra a ver se alcanza.

    Luce la aurora en Oriente

    rompiendo pardas neblinas,

    y la luz, como un torrente,

    se tiende por la ancha frente

    de verdísimas colinas.

    Ya se va diafanizando

    de la mar la espesa bruma;

    el buque sigue avanzando,

    y va la tierra brotando

    como Venus de la espuma.

    Y allá sobre el fondo oscuro

    que sus montañas le dan,

    bajo un cielo hermoso y puro,

    cerrada en su blanco muro,

    mi bellísimo San Juan.

    
Y aunque esa ciudad amada,

    mis afecciones encierra,

    con el alma entusiasmada,

    yo no me acuerdo de nada

    sino de ver esa tierra.

    Perdonadle al desterrado

    ese dulce frenesí:

    vuelvo a mi mundo adorado,

    y yo estoy enamorado

    de la tierra en que nací.

    Para poder conocerla

    es preciso compararla,

    de lejos en sueños verla;

    y para saber quererla

    es necesario dejarla.

    ¡Oh! no envidie tu belleza,

    de otra inmensa población

    el poder y la riqueza,

    que allí vive la cabeza,

    y aquí vive el corazón.

    Y si vivir es sentir,

    y si vivir es pensar,

    yo puedo, patria, decir

    que no he dejado vivir

    al dejarte de mirar.

    Que aunque es templado y suave

    no vive, no, en el ambiente

    
el pez de las ondas nave,

    ni entre las ondas el ave,

    ni yo, de mi patria ausente.

    ¡Patria! jardín del mar,

    la perla de las Antillas,

    ¡tengo ganas de llorar!

    ¡tengo ganas de besar

    la arena de tus orillas!

    Si entre lágrimas te canto,

    patria mía, no te asombres,

    porque es de amor ese llanto,

    y ese amor es el más santo

    de los amores del hombre.

    Tuya es la vida que aliento,

    es tuya mi inspiración,

    es tuyo mi pensamiento,

    tuyo todo sentimiento

    que brote en mi corazón.

    Que haya en ti vida primero,

    cuanto ha de fijarse en mí,

    y en todo cuanto venero,

    y en todo cuanto yo quiero,

    hay algo, patria, de ti.

    No, nada importa la suerte

    si tengo que abandonarte,

    que yo sólo aspiro a verte,

    a la dicha de quererte

    y a la gloria de cantarte.

    At last, my heart, at last,

    come alive with hope,

    for among crimson clouds

    from the horizon end to end,

    I can already see land.

    Dawn rises in the East

    shattering dark mists,

    and a torrent of light pours

    on the wide swath

    of the deep green hills.

    The veil of thick fog lifts

    off the sea;

    the ship advances,

    and the land begins to rise

    like Venus from the foam.

    And there on the dark ground

    of its mountains,

    against a pure and lovely sky,

    enclosed by a white wall,

    my beautiful San Juan.

    And as a cherished city,

    it holds all my loves,

    and with an enthusiastic soul,

    I don’t recall

    anything except seeing my homeland.

    Forgive the exile

    this sweet frenzy:

    I return to my beloved world,

    in love with the land where I was born.

    To know her

    you must compare her,

    see her distant in your dreams;

    and to love her

    you need to leave her.

    Ah! Do not let your beauty envy

    the wealth and power

    of another great nation,

    because there is where the head lives,

    and here is where the heart lives.

    And if to live is to feel,

    and if to live is to think,

    homeland, I can say

    that I have not known how to live

    since I stopped looking at you.

    Though its climate be temperate and soft,

    the seafaring fish cannot live in the air,

    nor in waves can a bird soar,

    nor can I thrive

    away from my homeland.

    Homeland! Garden of the sea,

    pearl of the Antilles,

    I feel like crying!

    I feel like kissing

    the sands of your shores!

    If between tears I sing to you,

    my land, do not be astonished,

    because love is in these tears,

    and this love is the holiest

    of the loves of man.

    Yours is the life that I breathe,

    my inspiration is yours,

    yours is my thought,

    yours all feeling

    that blooms in my heart.

    My life flows from yours,

    and in everything I deem worthy,

    and in everything I love,

    there is something, my homeland,

    that belongs to you.

    No, luck doesn’t matter

    if I have to leave you,

    for I aspire only to see you,

    to the good fortune of loving you

    and the glory of singing to you.

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