My Beautiful (The Beautiful Series) (20 page)

“Okay.” I let out a small laugh. “I’ll give you that one.” I dropped my head to nuzzle into his shoulder, feeling extremely thankful to have him by my side.

***

The afternoon had passed by impossibly slow. Nurses had come and gone. Even the doctors stopped in to check on Luke’s progress.

I had went into Luke’s room several times. I’d texted Caroline with updates even though there was no new news to report. It felt like we were at a standstill. The nurses had told us that no change was still better than bad change, so we were trying to stay in good spirits.

Kyle’s demeanor had been just a bit off today at certain times. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but something was different. I had asked him twice if he was okay, and each time, he had taken my hand in his as he’d reassured me that everything was fine. But I could feel extra tension radiating off of him.

I vaguely remembered seeing this side of him yesterday. I had assumed it was his jealousy of Luke. My emotions had been strung too tight to ask him if anything else was wrong.

I vowed to get to the bottom of it when we were back at the hotel. I gave him the we-will-talk-about-this-later stare as I decided to let it go for now. His only response was an eye roll followed by a playful wink. He was clearly not intimidated by me.
We’ll see.

Kyle left my side only to get us food. His support meant the world to me. I felt selfish for taking him away from his life, but I could not imagine going through this alone. I wondered how much he was giving up to be here, and I truly hoped that Abbey was able to hold down the fort while he was missing. I would feel terrible if his business was suffering because of me. I thought about if that could be the reason for his mood change today.

I kept trying to figure out what was different with him, but I continued to come back empty-handed. He just seemed…detached or lost in thought. I felt frustrated and hurt because he was keeping something from me.

Restlessly, I tossed and turned in the chairs. I leaned my head against Kyle’s shoulder. I pivoted, so my head rested on the arm of the chair, and my legs were over his. At one point, I seriously contemplated lying on the floor, so I could stretch out, but I ignored the impulse.

I pulled out my cell phone to text Brooke and let her know what was going on with Luke. She had hung out with us many times, and she’d formed her own friendship with him.

Hey, Brooke. No changes with Luke yet. We are still waiting for him to wake up.

She texted back right away.

He’s still not conscious! :/ I am coming to visit tomorrow, so I can see him and take you out for a bit.

I wasn’t really in the mood to go out and about.

I’m okay. I will be happy to see you and for you to see Luke.

She replied quickly.

The first sign you need girl time is when you say, “I’m okay.” Now, you can meet me at the mall, or I will hunt you down.

I rolled my eyes at her bossiness. Brooke and Kyle were two peas in a pod. Before I could respond to her last text, my phone chimed with another text from Brooke.

You need this. No buts about it.

Kyle glanced between my cell phone and me, raising his eyebrow. “Girl trouble?” he asked casually.

“She wants to have girl time tomorrow,” I said, shaking my head. “It doesn’t feel right to go off and have lunch with a friend while Luke is fighting for his life in there.” I lifted my head in the direction of Luke’s room before looking back at Kyle.

“That’s sensible.” Kyle reached for my hand, taking it in the palm of his. “But sometimes, you can’t help others until you clear your own mind. You need time to be yourself, too, Lily.”

He sounded just like Brooke. They were both quite stubborn and outspoken…but also very sincere and thoughtful.

“Okay. I’ll spend some time with Brooke before we come back to the hospital.”

I sent Brooke a new message.

Girl time first and then back to the hospital. See you tomorrow.

I smiled when I read her next message.

See you then! *hugs*

Since Kyle had suggested that I needed some time to be myself, it occurred to me that this was the longest I’d gone without typing a single word in my novel. I truly missed writing and would have to get back to work soon. This past week had been such a roller coaster. I looked forward to returning to my regular day-to-day life.

I wished I had finished Annie’s room before I left. Leaving something undone was unsettling. I needed closure, but at the same time, I needed this distance.

Jim and Caroline came back to the hospital after dinner, and they thanked us both for staying with their son. Their gratitude was worth being here. Nothing should be more important than a friend in need.

***

I couldn’t take any more hospital food, so Kyle and I decided to get some fresh air and go out to dinner.

Glancing at Kyle, his features seemed dimmer than usual. His eyes looked tired and strained with tension. The hospital was a draining environment, but I wasn’t sure that was the root of his uneasiness.

Hand in hand, we walked until finding a cozy little Italian restaurant around the block. The booths near the back of the restaurant were secluded, and I was relieved for the peace and quiet.

The waitress brought salad and breadsticks while we looked over our menus. As soon as she returned minutes later, we ordered our food, and Kyle added a glass of wine for each of us.

The waitress returned with our wine right away. I almost moaned out loud as I took my first sip. It was divine.

He kept glancing at me, and his eyebrows were drawn in, tugging toward the center. I couldn’t help but wonder what was on his mind. The atmosphere felt intense and clouded as it closed in around us.

Finally, I couldn’t take it, not even for one more second. As I opened my mouth to speak, he finally broke his silence.

“Abbey and I went four-wheeling on a mountain not far from our home when I was about seventeen. She was young and wild. She constantly wanted to keep up with Ryan and me. My mom had such a hard time with it. She wanted Abbey to be more feminine,” he said with a loving smile as he thought about his sister. “But our Abbey was all tomboy. My mom had a constant fear that Abbey would get hurt.”

My heart was beating frantically in my chest, not knowing where this story was going, as I saw the pain in his eyes.

Kyle continued, “I was originally supposed to go with just a few buddies, but Abbey begged to come with me. She complained that she never got to go out on the trails with us. My mom was furious that my dad had already given her permission to tag along. Mom made me promise to take care of her and watch out for her…but you only have so much control when each person has his or her own machine. You can lead, guide, and teach someone everything you know and still not be able to save him or her from an accident.”

I barely noticed the waitress setting our plates down on the table. Once she realized we were in the middle of a weighty conversation, she quickly excused herself.

The anguish in his eyes was crushing me. My fingers gripped the edge of the table. I wanted him to continue, but at the same time, I didn’t want to hear the tragic details I knew he was about to tell me. Abbey was safe and alive now, and that was the only reason I let him continue.

More than that, I was so happy that he was opening up to me, and he was doing it on his own. He never revealed much about himself unless I pried. I loved Kyle, and I also desperately craved to know more about him.

“She was right behind me the whole time. She always kept up with me and begged me to challenge her more. She said I was going too easy on her.” He laughed sadly, proud and pained all at once. “I knew better than to take her on an advanced trail.”

Our food was completely forgotten as he continued.

“As I came around a sharp curve, I used my body weight and leaned into it. I had taught Abbey well how to use her weight, but for this curve, I feared her lighter weight would be a major disadvantage. In that moment,” he said, shaking his head slowly, “I knew that she would not make that curve.” He paused, looking as though he was reliving a flashback.

His eyes were now almost black, the darkest I had ever seen them. Regret and guilt filled every curve of his face.

“Her back wheel slipped first. When the four-wheeler started to pull her over the edge, I heard her scream. I had already jumped off my four-wheeler, and I was running to her. I was inches from catching her front grill.” He winced.

“It sounded like a rough version of ping-pong as she fell with the four-wheeler down the side of the steep hill. I didn’t even stop to think when I went after her. I had no idea how sharp of a drop-off it was past the brush, but I didn’t care. My only thoughts were of Abbey. I just threw myself after her, knowing I could not go home without her.

“My biggest fear was that the four-wheeler would take her over the edge. By some miracle, I was able to catch her just before she reached the final drop-off. She wasn’t screaming anymore, and I was worried about why she was so quiet. I will never forget the look in her eyes…fear followed by such relief.”

I gasped. It was heartbreaking to hear of such a gut-wrenching story about Abbey. Even in such a short time, I had grown very close to her. Seeing the agony in Kyle’s eyes hurt me. She was his sister, and I had firsthand experience with losing a sibling. I knew how he felt, thinking that it had been his fault.

That familiar pain seized my chest.
Annie…

I pushed the thoughts aside because I needed to know more.

“What happened to her?” I asked.

Kyle sighed. I could tell he was fighting himself. I wasn’t sure why, but sharing his emotions, other than his feelings for me, seemed to be difficult for him.

“She had a collapsed lung, moderate internal bleeding, and a broken arm along with many scrapes and bruises,” he answered despondently, dropping his head. “It was the worst feeling in the world…feeling so helpless while just sitting in the waiting room…just waiting and waiting. All I could do was wait.” He paused as he looked up at me. “She was in a room just like Luke’s,” he added quietly.

Instantly, it all clicked in my mind. It made perfect sense why he’d had a difficult time being at the hospital. He had been so tense today, and I had known it was not because he thought I had feelings for Luke. The waiting in the hospital had been a trigger that hit close to home for him.

Unable to stand the distance, I stood, ignoring the surprised expression on Kyle’s face, and slid into his side of the booth. He welcomed me with open arms while I snuggled in as close as our bodies would allow.
Thank goodness for the secluded booths.
We were only cuddling, but the act felt so intimate.

I was caught off guard, and I was a little scared at how much his pain affected me. I felt it all the way to the depth of my bones, and I desperately tried to blink back the tears threatening to overwhelm me. I practically crawled onto his lap, and I buried my face against his neck. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. I needed to get a grip. I knew Abbey was okay, and I prayed Luke was going to be okay, too.

This has been a fucked-up day. No, I take that back. It’s been a fucked-up week.

The waitress walked over and asked if she could bring us anything else, and Kyle politely gestured her away.

I counted Kyle’s breaths. They were slow and steady as he caressed my back.

“She’s okay, Lily. She made a full recovery.” Kyle sighed heavily, cursing under his breath. “I’m sorry. You didn’t need to hear any of that right now. You have enough going on already.” He pulled back to look into my eyes. “Forgive me?”

“No.” I shook my head.

His eyes widened, and I put a finger over his lips before he could speak. His eyes narrowed slightly, and I ignored it.
Tough and sexy alpha is always close by. He just can’t seem to cage it.
When a small laugh escaped me, he narrowed his eyes.

“What’s so funny?” he questioned, gathering me at the hips and tugging me closer.

“You,” I said simply, teasing him.

“Do tell,” he challenged.

Avoiding his demand, I made sure my tone sounded innocent and smooth. “I love seeing the look in your eyes when I say no…and I love to challenge you.”

His eyes darkened slightly. He drew his upper body near, and his breath was warm on my skin as he kissed the base of my throat. I sighed as my body instantly betrayed me.
Damn it.

“I can make you tell me.” His lips tugged the corners of his mouth.

I smiled impishly and cupped his face in my hands. I could stare at him all day. He had not shaved this morning, and the feel of his rough stubble beneath my hands made me want to devour every inch of him. I kissed him gently and forced myself to pull back.

There was no denying our chemistry. He could touch me, and my body would instantly respond, sending every nerve on alert, but I knew we also needed to talk. I’d learned from my parents that communication was an important role in sustaining a relationship.

“There is nothing to forgive, Kyle. I’m happy that you shared with me. Thank you. I was simply caught off guard by how much your feelings affect me. They mean so much more to me than anyone else.”

I’d left out the part about how his pain also affected me. I didn’t want to frighten him. If he knew, I didn’t think he would continue to open up to me. Since he rarely did, I was simply not willing to give it up. I would take every bit I could get.

His eyes bore into mine. “You have the same effect on me. To see what you have lost…guts me, Lily. I want to fix it.”

I blinked, understanding that we felt each other’s pain. I had been told to take the good and the bad that came with a person. I had a strong notion that there was so much more to Kyle. I was desperate to know more, but with everything that was going on in our lives now, I knew this was not the time to push.

“I don’t need you to fix it, Kyle. I love that you are there for me…and that’s all I need.”

Kyle kissed me deeply. He leisurely stroked his tongue with mine, soothing and caressing it. His arms trapped me in his embrace as if he would never let me go.