MVP (VIP Book 3) (25 page)

“If you want it. It’s ours.”

My mouth hung open, I had no idea how to respond.

“Just think about it,” he stated, reading my mind. All I could do was nod.

I reached over the ledge to grab his present and handed it to him, still shaken from the unexpected surprise. He quickly opened it. It was a framed picture of the morning after we were intimate in St. Barts; I was a VIP and he was still married. I remembered thinking that I wanted a memory of our night together. I had never taken a picture with any man before and I wanted his. Ours. We were still in bed and I had grabbed my phone and taken a picture of us just as we were.

“That’s the only thing I kept from our time together.”

We locked eyes. 

“It used to make me really sad when I looked at it. I kept it hidden under my mattress. When you found me on the island, we moved forward that day. That night I pulled it out for the first time since I put it there when I moved. I kept that photo because it was the first time I had ever made love and that’s why it made me sad to look at it. When I looked at it that night, it made me smile…I thought maybe I hadn’t imagined it all and we really did share something.”

His eyes were wide with shock and grief.

“I want you to have it,” I added, trying to hold back the tears.

I had never felt more vulnerable and exposed than I did in that moment.

“I believe everything you say about you loving me since day one. The look on your face now is the same look you gave me then, I just didn’t realize it. I wracked my brain for weeks trying to think about what to get you for Christmas. You have everything. So I figured I’d give you the truth.” I paused; his intense stare was agonizing. “Sebastian, please say something.”

He looked back down at the picture, like he was envisioning everything I had just shared. When his piercing stare caught mine again, there was more emotion than I had ever seen before and he looked deep into my eyes.

“Marry me.”

It wasn’t a question. My eyes widened and my hand went to my mouth, shocked.

I couldn’t believe what just happened. She kept the picture of the first night we shared together. I remembered that morning as if it were yesterday, her taking the picture and me going through her phone, realizing that I was the only man on it. I knew it was the first time she had ever made love to someone and I had no business taking that from her. It didn’t stop me, though.

I wanted to be her first. To know that we shared something that she hadn’t with anyone else. I needed to own her in a way that no other man ever had the privilege of claiming.

Mine.

“I believe everything you say about you loving me since day one. The look on your face now is the same look you gave me then, I just didn’t realize it. I wracked my brain for weeks trying to think about what to get you for Christmas. You have everything. So I figured I’d give you the truth.” She hesitated. Her glossy eyes and words almost brought me to tears.

“Sebastian, please say something.”

I didn’t think and I just reacted on pure impulse.

“Marry me.”

Her eyes widened and I heard a slight gasp as her hand covered her mouth.

“Ysa, you’re it for me. You always have been. Marry me and make me the happiest man on this earth. Be my wife and the mother of my future children.”

She hadn’t moved or made a sound. I wanted to keep my eyes on her, but the small shadow in the corner caught my eyes before I ever heard him.

“NO!” Christian screamed, making Ysabelle jolt and turn. “She’s not my mom! She will never be my mom!” His stare moved from me to her and it was like everything progressed in slow motion. “You will never be my mom! I hate you! You ruined my family! I heard…I heard my mom tell my grandmother that you’re a whore! That you broke up my family! That it’s all your fault! You’re a bad person! I hate you so much! Do you hear me? I hate you!” he screamed and then ran back inside.

“Fuck!” I shouted, jumping out of the hot tub and grabbing my towel. “Ysa,” I called out to no avail. She sat there, motionless and in shock.

“Ysabelle!” I yelled.

She shook her head in a daze and looked at me.

“I’m going to go talk to him. Are you okay?”

“Yeah…yeah….I’m fine…go,” she said, barely above a whisper.

“I love you. Ysabelle, do you hear me? I love you; this doesn’t change anything. Do you understand?”

She barely nodded.

“Ysa, tell me you understand.”

She blinked a few times, taking in my words.

“I understand,” she said with no emotion whatsoever.

I feared that she thought I was leaving her behind. That I was choosing him over her but what was I supposed to do? I had to calm him down and explain.

I took one last look at her stunned and baffled demeanor, begrudgingly leaving her to chase after my son.

Have you ever seen your life flash before your eyes? People say it happens in seconds. That there are these picture images that run through your mind like a movie reel, one right after the other. Nothing makes sense, and then there’s this moment of clarity. Where everything just seems to fall into place. For one second, it all clicks and the voices are gone and you are alone with the truth.

She is ugly.

She is vicious.

She is you.

My worst nightmare, my deepest insecurities, my truths that I so desperately tried to ignore, and wanted nothing more than to bury and hide, were thrown in my face by an eight-year-old boy. It all came tumbling down on me like a force field and I was hanging onto the ledge by one finger.

The reality of my fairy tale was that I was going to say yes…

I wanted everything he had just promised. The marriage, the family, the children, the future. The happily ever after wrapped in one big bow with the simple response of a
yes.

I stepped out of the hot tub and walked into our bedroom, closing the door behind me. I opened my drawer and grabbed a pair of black panties, and there before my very own eyes was a red envelope with my name on it. The same envelope that I hid on Christmas morning, I reached for it and brought it with me as I sat on the edge of the bed. I moved in autopilot, opening it. It was a black postcard with VIP etched on the front and I flipped it over to read the back.

Bella Rosa,

Merry Christmas my beautiful girl. I hope the New Year brings many revelations for you. Always remember that you have a family here and nothing will ever change that. A toast to you and finding your way back home.

Love,

Madam

My eyes caught the clock in the corner.

12:00am.

Happy fucking New Year.

I changed into some dry clothes and then knocked on Christian’s door before walking in. He was laying in bed with his back to me and the sheet pulled over his head.

“Christian, I know you’re not sleeping.”

He didn’t answer.

I took a deep breath, grabbed the chair, and faced it next to his bed. I slouched forward, placing my elbows on my knees.

“You know, when you were born I was scared shitless. We had tried for almost a year to have you and when your mom finally told me she was pregnant, I was thrilled. The entire pregnancy I couldn’t wait to meet and hold you. When we were at the hospital and they put you in my arms, I remember thinking, ‘Shit! He’s really here and I’m really a dad and I have no idea what’s going to happen.’ It was real then.”

He started to stir a little.

“Not knowing what’s going to happen in the future is difficult. It doesn’t matter if you’re eight, thirty, or sixty. The unknown is scary. The older you get, the more you realize how short life really is and how you need to make every day count as if it were your last. I don’t know what you know about our divorce, and one day when you’re old enough, I will happily tell you. I hope that you will learn from my mistakes. Just because I’m a dad doesn’t mean I don’t make them. I make them every day; the only thing I can do is try to learn from them.”

His body turned to face me, but the sheet was still over his head.

“I love your mom. And Ysabelle will never replace your mom in your life. Ever. That I can promise you. However, she can be a friend, a confidant, someone you play with…but she definitely needs to be someone that you respect, and then maybe, somewhere along the way, the feelings, the affection, the love part…might come. And I’m not saying it’s going to happen tomorrow or next week, or even next year for that matter.”

I could see him playing with his fingers under the blanket.

“I love her, bud. I love her a lot. The way you reacted, I can understand, but it was hurtful to Ysabelle and she doesn’t deserve that. She’s not the villain. You’re not going to treat her like that. I’m very upset about it. I’m sorry that I didn’t discuss the future with you, but to be honest, the proposal just sort of came out. You ever said anything that you didn’t think you were going to say and it just comes out?”

He nodded.

“Well…it was kinda like that. Your mom will always hold a place in my heart. Always. The thing about hearts, though, is that they have an enormous amount of room. It’s endless. There is no limit. I love you so much, Christian. I loved you even before you were born and your mom told me she was pregnant. I would never want to hurt you, and the fact you’re hurting right now…kills me.”