Must Like Kids (18 page)

He was leaving the ball in her court, giving her the option to toss it back, as well as a graceful way to drop it. She could say no, come up with an excuse. Even something as lame as the need to finish housework would suffice, since they both would know it wasn’t the real reason she declined.

“Well?”

Saying no would be the smart thing. The responsible thing. The very thing she’d been doing for way too long. It was time for a change, the rebel inside of her whispered. She decided to listen to it and asked, “What do you have in mind?”

“A lot more than dinner, but we’ll start with that.” He winked and she swore she felt sparks shower her skin.

* * *

They made plans for seven o’clock. Julia left the choice of restaurant to him. She couldn’t think clearly enough to pick one. She could barely think at all. As soon as she got home, she grabbed the cordless phone off the coffee table in the living room and dialed her sister’s number in a panic.

“Help!” she shouted when Eloise came on the line.

“Julia? My God! What’s wrong?”

“I have a date.” She sank onto the couch.

“A date?” There was a smile in her sister’s voice when she added, “That doesn’t sound like an emergency as much as a reason to celebrate. Maybe even declare a national holiday.”

“Eloise.”

“Sorry. I’m guessing the problem is that the date is with your gorgeous client.”

“How did you know?”

“Lucky guess,” Eloise replied dryly. Then she asked, “Hey, don’t you have a rule against that?”

“I did. I should.” Julia pulled one of Colin’s hard-plastic action figures from behind her and wilted back on the couch. “Maybe that’s why I’m calling you. So you can talk me out of it.”

“What’s the real reason you want me to talk you out of it?” Eloise asked shrewdly.

“Well, for starters, I know this won’t go anywhere. I’m attracted to him.
Really, really
attracted. But I think it might be a mistake to start something.”

“Back up a step. Why are you so sure this won’t go anywhere?”

“How long have you got?” Julia replied dryly.

“As long as it takes. That’s what sisters are for.”

And didn’t Julia know it. Eloise had always been her sounding board and biggest cheerleader, but never more so than since Scott’s death.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “First of all, I don’t think Alec is looking for anything permanent.” Except for a home, she thought, and felt an ache build in her chest. “He’s got some...baggage,” she told Eloise, and then filled in her sister on Alec’s parents and his emotionally sterile upbringing.

“Poor guy. Just goes to show that money can’t buy happiness,” Eloise said. “But if you like him...”

“I do. But what about Danielle and Colin? I have to think about them, too.”

“Don’t they like him?”

Julia worried her lip. “It’s a fifty-fifty split. Colin thinks Alec’s fun. Danielle doesn’t want him around at all and to drive home the point, she’s not speaking to me.”

Eloise didn’t sound surprised by this news. “Danielle isn’t going to like anyone you bring home, in part because she’s old enough to remember Scott. Besides, she’s a lot like you, Julia. Stubborn, picky and opinionated.”

“I’m not—”

“You are,” Eloise interrupted. “I love you anyway.”

“El, I don’t want Colin and Danielle to get too used to him being around. You know how kids are. They read too much into things.”

“Just the kids?” When Julia said nothing, Eloise went on. “So, if you’re so sure this thing with Alec won’t amount to anything, I don’t see the problem. Go out on a date tonight. Dress up and look gorgeous. Enjoy yourself. The kids are at Mom and Dad’s. You don’t have to worry about a curfew or paying a sitter. You’ve earned a night out.”

“I have.” She nodded vigorously, even though her sister couldn’t see her. “I’m being stupid, aren’t I?”

“An absolute idiot.”

Julia continued, working to convince herself more than her sister. “It’s dinner out at a restaurant. One date. I’ve done that a few times in the past few years. And it’s not like Alec and I haven’t spent time together already, so there won’t be any awkward silences or anything.”

“Right.”

“So, you don’t think I’m making a mistake by going out with him?”

“No. But I think you need to be honest with yourself. It’s not just a date. As you said, you’ve had a few of those since Scott died. You’re in a panic because you like Alec. A lot. And it scares you. A lot. We wouldn’t be having this conversation otherwise.”

“I do. And it does.”

“Take it one day and one date at a time.”

Julia swallowed and gave voice to one of her many fears where Alec was concerned. It wasn’t the biggest one, but it was on her mind. “El, I haven’t had sex with a man in a really long time.”

“Well, I can assure you, it hasn’t changed,” her sister replied dryly. “Are you thinking about...you know...tonight?”

“No! Yes. No!” She covered her eyes with her free hand, then parted her fingers as she added, “Maybe, but probably not.”

“As long as you’re sure.”

“I’m not planning it. But when I’m with Alec, things tend to...happen.” Another of her fears bubbled to the surface then. “You don’t think he’ll expect it, do you? I mean, on a first date. Even though this isn’t really a first date. But it sort of is.”

“Are
you
expecting it?”

“Not expecting it any more than I’m planning it, but I’ve been
thinking
about it. It’s hard not to think about it when I’m around him.” Even talking about him had her temperature threatening to rise.

“My advice is to be prepared, then, if you know what I mean.”

Julia swallowed. Hearing it put like that made her feel like a teenager, even if her sister’s suggestion made perfect sense. A strangled laugh slipped out.

“I feel like an idiot. I’m thirty-two years old.”

“As you said, it’s been a long time.” Eloise’s tone turned sober then. “I know how serious you take your responsibilities as a parent, especially since Scott died. You’ve put your kids first in all things.”

Julia straightened to a sitting position on the couch, her gaze on the action figure that was now lying on the coffee table. “They’re my top priority.”

“I’m not saying they shouldn’t be. But you’ve neglected yourself, your needs, and that’s not healthy, Jul. I’m glad to see you interested enough in a man to be, well, acting like an idiot.”

“Thanks. I think.”

“Have fun tonight.” Eloise waited a beat before adding, “Wear something so sexy that he’ll want to skip dinner.”

* * *

Alec’s mouth went dry when Julia opened the door. He’d seen her in professional attire and outfitted in casual clothes. He’d never seen her in a dress such as this one, with a neckline that scooped low to offer a tantalizing view of cleavage and a pair of strappy high heels that made her legs appear a good foot longer.

His breath came out on a ragged groan. He reached up to loosen his tie before he realized he wasn’t wearing one. He’d gone with a dress shirt and lightweight gabardine trousers.

“You look amazing.”

Her smile was a beguiling mixture of shyness and victory. “Thank you. I hope it’s not too much. I don’t get a chance to dress up very often.”

“Then we’ll do this right,” he decided. He’d made reservations at a much-hyped new French restaurant on Michigan Avenue that had opened earlier in the month. He wanted to give her a night out to remember. But now, it wouldn’t do. He pulled out his cell phone, sending her a wink as he dialed. “Georgio, it’s Alec McAvoy...good, good. And you...? Hey, I need a favor...yes, I know it’s last-minute and you’re probably booked solid, but... Yeah...? Eight o’clock sounds perfect.”

He disconnected and smiled smugly.

“Who was that?”

“The maître d’ at Fazzello’s.”

Her eyes widened. “You got us a table? But that place is impossible to get into, let alone at the last minute.” Reservations were taken months in advance.

“I know the owner. We attended the same boarding school.” They’d both been weekenders, as the staff called students who stayed on when class wasn’t in session. As such they’d stuck together. Alec reached out and ran his knuckles lightly down Julia’s cheek. “It looks like we have some time to kill.”

They were still standing in her doorway. He watched her swallow before she took a step back. “Then I guess you should come in.”

Her apartment was quiet without the kids. And free of interruptions, a fact they both were achingly aware of, if the way she was biting her lower lip was any indication.

“Do you want some wine? I have a bottle of red I could open.”

He shook his head. Took a step closer.

“Iced tea? I made a pitcher earlier today.”

“No thanks.” Another step.

She put a hand on her chest, blew out a breath. “I think we need to, um, talk about...about things.”

He was near enough now to touch her, so he did, fingering one of the thin straps of her dress. His heart was starting to hammer. Go slow, he reminded himself. He kissed her cheek, the spot just in front of her ear and then started down her neck.

“What things?” he asked when he reached her shoulder.

“I haven’t got a clue.” And then she cupped his face and kissed him back.

ELEVEN

June gave way to July, and July to August. Alec dropped heavily into a chair in his apartment’s living room. It was late on a Sunday night one week into the month and he’d only just gotten in. He’d spent the weekend in New York, where he’d taped a segment for a nationally televised morning program and spent all day Saturday at a huge toy store that was raising money and awareness for childhood diseases.

He’d gone alone, although Julia had called, texted and emailed him several times over the past couple of days. It wasn’t the same, though. He’d wanted her with him.

He scrubbed a hand down his face in frustration, not so much amazed at how quickly she’d gotten under his skin, but how one-sided it all seemed to be. For the first time in his life, Alec was with a woman he actually wanted to draw closer, a woman who knew more about him and his dysfunctional family than any other ever had...and still liked him. A woman who wasn’t interested in his bank account or intrigued by the celebrities his parents knew. She liked him. She’d said as much. But she’d also established boundaries between them, an emotional cutoff point against which he was already butting.

He and Julia hadn’t spoken about her boundaries. They didn’t appear to be up for negotiation, although Alec knew she had adjusted them once already when the two of them became intimately involved. The old Alec would have accepted them. Hell, he would have been happy to have them. He wasn’t that Alec any longer. Looking back, he could see that he’d started changing the day he’d met her. Not his image, but his outlook. He was a better man now, of that he was certain. But was he good enough for Julia and her children? The question nagged at him.

The phone rang. He knew it was Julia even before he saw her name on the caller ID display.

“Isn’t this past your bedtime?” he teased in lieu of a greeting.

He pictured her wearing modest cotton and tucked into the very bed in which they’d made love the first time. A bed he had yet to return to. He hadn’t breached even the front door of her apartment since that evening. Julia came to him, when time permitted and the opportunity presented itself. Other than stolen kisses and hasty couplings wedged into their busy daytime schedules, they didn’t see one another. Each weekday evening, she went home to her children. Alec returned to his apartment—alone and increasingly edgy and uneasy.

“It is past my bedtime,” she admitted on a low chuckle. “But I wanted to say good-night.”

“I wish you were here to do it in person.”

It was a futile wish, he knew, so it surprised him when she said, “How about you hold that thought for Wednesday?”

“What’s Wednesday?”

“Well, Danielle leaves for art camp on Monday.” Julia had finally, after much emotional hand-wringing, agreed to let her daughter go. Alec had played a role in convincing her. It was different, he’d assured her, for a child to go away when they knew they would return shortly and to a home where they would be both missed and welcomed back. She was saying, “And because Colin is feeling very left out, my parents are having him come to stay with them Wednesday through the weekend. So, I’ll be on my own.”

Alec should have been pleased. They could be together, alone and uninterrupted, for four nights.
Only
four nights. For reasons he didn’t care to dwell on, he felt irritated. Make the most of it, he reminded himself and forced a smile into his voice. “How about coming over Wednesday evening then? I can try my hand at cooking again and, if the weather is nice, we can eat out on the roof.”

“I like that idea.”

“You can stay the night if you want. Pack a bag and you can leave for work from here in the morning.” It was an offer he didn’t often make. It seemed natural with Julia.

Still, he wasn’t surprised when she declined. “Thanks, but I’ll go home.”

Boundaries, he thought again, feeling hemmed in.

They talked about work after that, a safe subject that he suspected she chose for just that reason. She gave him an update of his week’s itinerary. He had a return spot on the first blog Julia had set up. Now that the One Big Family campaign was winding down, Julia had him hitting as many of the places he’d visited in the beginning as possible. He wouldn’t go so far as to say that his image was fully repaired, but it had recovered substantially. Julia was due the credit for that. Alec had fought her in the beginning, out of pride and pique more than anything else, but she knew what she was doing.

Best For Baby’s stock had rebounded by several points in the past month alone. These days, when the company made headlines, it was because of the new line of organic toddler food it had unveiled rather than its bachelor CEO’s unfortunate case of foot-in-mouth disease.

The board of directors was pleased, so much so that Alec no longer felt as if his professional neck were waiting under the sharp blade of an executioner’s ax. Now, however, he felt as if something else was hanging over his head, a sense of impending doom that he preferred not to think about.