Music of the Heart (4 page)

              We make it back from Nashville later that evening.  The guys all asked me to meet them for a drink but I am really tired and just want to go home.  Of course, I end up at the Tipsy Peach with the guys.  This is our favorite bar in Buckhead and we frequent it often. 

              “Hey man, how long you in town for this time?  I feel like we never get to see you anymore.  You travel way too much, man.”

              “I know Reed but that’s the life of my job. I actually go back of town on Wednesday to California for a week.  Then I have one more big trip overseas to Dubai before my mom’s benefit. “

              Dixon, Reed, Jake and Mason all give me the same look.  I know what the look means but I let them lecture me anyways.

              “You know you better be home in time for your mother’s benefit.  This is on of the most important things to her and the girls are working very hard to make this perfect.  Does she know you’re going to Dubai the week of the benefit?  I have a sneaking suspicion that’s a no.”

              “She doesn’t and I wasn’t planning on telling her.  As long as I am at the benefit that Saturday, all will be good. “ 

              “Do you have a date yet?”

              “Nah.  I’m not really interested in bringing anyone but I know she wants me to.”

              Dixon just stares at me with a questioning look.  I know what he is thinking.  Something is off with me and he’s right.  It is.  All I can think about lately is life.  My future.  And if everything I am doing will be worth it in the long run.  Add to it, I cannot get the singer’s picture I saw at the record label out of my head.  There was just something about her.  I don’t even know her but I can tell you I know I would have some fun with her.

              “What’s up with you man?  Something’s on your mind.  You didn’t even give that chick a second glance that just walked by and she was all about getting your attention.”

              “Nothing’s wrong man.  I’m just tired from all the traveling.  And I might have a few things on my mind.”

              “Enlighten us.  Tell us what’s on your mind.  We’re your friends.  It’s what we’re here for.  Besides, you know I won’t leave you alone until I figure out what is going on with you.”

              I think about it for a minute.  Did I really want to tell these guys what was on my mind?  Opting not to tell them right now, I decided to just blame it on work.

              “It’s just work stuff Dixon.  There’s so much riding on these two business trips and then the breast cancer benefit.  I just want to make sure I don’t screw up these deals.  That’s all man.”

              I could tell Dixon wasn’t buying that but I didn’t really want to talk about everything with all the guys.  Sure, they’re my friends but I usually only confess everything to Dixon and sometimes Reed.  I also knew I would be having a talk later tonight or tomorrow with Dixon.  More girls pass by trying to get my attention and seem pissed off when I ignore them. 

              “Cross, why are you ignoring all the ladies tonight?  You do realize you are Atlanta’s most eligible bachelor four years running, right?  Take that title and go with it.  You could have any woman in this room.  This is the first time I have really seen you turn your head from women.  Usually, you find your flavor of the night and we hear about it a few days later.  What’s up man?”

              Mason’s right.  They’re all right.  I have never hidden the fact that I enjoy the ladies but won’t commit.  Hell, it’s what I’m known for in Atlanta other than my business.  I’m about to be thirty-two years old.  I need to settle down but I don’t just want any woman in my life.  I want the right woman in my life.

“Okay guys, I’m out of here. “

              “Oh come on Cross, don’t leave just because we’re riding your ass about the ladies tonight.   You know we’re just messing with you.”

              “I know Jake, I know.  I’m just not in the mood tonight.  Plus, I have a long day at work tomorrow getting ready for my trip.  Later guys.”

              I head out to the waiting SUV and to Thomas.  He takes me home to my condo.  I can’t help but think though is it really a home or just the place I sleep at night?  With millions of thoughts running through my head, I strip down and try to go to sleep.

Chapter Four

ASHLEIGH

              “Ashleigh, Dr. Hansen is ready for you now.  Come on back with me.”

              Believe me, I love Dr. Hansen.  He is the best ENT in the city of Atlanta but this is the last place I want to be right now.  I only have to see him when something is wrong and if something is wrong right now then my career could be in jeopardy.  Thankfully, Merritt showed up at my house this morning with coffee from the Sweet Peach Café and a ride to the doctor.  There are many things I love about my best friend and being there for me without having to ask her is just one of them.  She knows I am nervous about this visit.  My voice is my career and if my throat is messed up, again, this could be very bad for me.

              The nurse takes us back to a room and takes all my vitals and asks me a few questions.  She lets me know Dr. Hansen will be in shortly.  I’m nervous. I won’t lie.  I haven’t let on just how bad my throat has been bothering me.  I’ve even kept it from Allie which is unusual because I tell my assistant everything involving my career.

              Dr. Hansen walks in the room.  “Ashleigh, it’s great to see you again.  Too bad it is under these circumstances.  So, I only know your throat is bothering you.  I’m going to need more details than that.  I don’t have to remind you that I’ve already warned you twice within the last year that you work too much essentially putting unnecessary strain on your vocal chords.”

              Merritt looks at me and by the look, I know I better not leave anything out. 

              “Okay, here goes.  Yes, my throat hurts and I always seem to be hoarse a lot more than is normal.  My voice has also sounded a little different when I sing.  Most people don’t notice it but I do and my lead guitarist questioned me about it as well.  It feels shaky a lot and my range feels off.  This feels different than the strained vocal chords.  It feels worse.”

              “Okay, let me take a look although I am pretty sure there is nothing I will be able to help you with.”

              “What?  Why?  You’re the best ENT there is.  You always fix me.  What’s going on with my voice that you can’t help me?”

              “Calm down Ashleigh.  I’m going to call a friend of mine who is a laryngologist.  He will be better equipped to see what is going on with your voice and throat.  Let me make the call and I’ll get him to see you immediately.”

              “Wait, you’re sending me to a what?”

              He laughs a little bit.  “A laryngologist.  He specializes in diseases and trauma to your throat and voice.  Give me a few minutes to talk to him and I’ll be back.  Just sit tight and relax.  I promise you will be fine.”

              Merritt has been quiet the entire time.  After Dr. Hansen walks out she looks at me and finally breaks her silence.

              “Hey, you know everything will be fine.  I’m with you every step of this.  Whatever the doctors tell you, you’ll get through it.”

              Before I can say anything, Dr. Hansen walks back in.  One of his nurses walks in behind him with some paperwork in her hands.

              “You’re all set Ashleigh.  Dr. Gregory said to have you come on over now and he’ll get you in when you get there.  Luckily, he is just on the next floor in our building.”

              I know he could tell I was upset by the look on my face.  How can I not worry?  Sure I am home until mid November but I am back on the road again with a couple of small breaks along the way.  I have to get this under control so I don’t have to think about any of this while touring.

              “Ashleigh, I promise you.  Dr. Gregory is the best at what he does.  He will find out what is going on and get you all fixed up.  Hopefully with some rest, you can be back on the road soon.”

              “Thank you Dr. Hansen.  You know I love you but I hope I don’t have to see you for a while.”

              Merritt and I leave and head upstairs to see Dr. Gregory.  The office seems pretty busy but luckily a nurse takes me back immediately to a room.  I am given paperwork to complete in the room.  The nurse informed me they were trying to be discreet with me.  Given who I am and my career, someone seeing me in this particular medical office would definitely raise red flags.  I thank her for that and wait to meet Dr. Gregory.

              An hour later and several procedures later, I am called back into Dr. Gregory’s office.

              “Well, I have good news and bad news for you.  Which do you want first?”

              “Just give it to me all at once, please.”

              “Well, yes, you have some damage to your vocal chords.  Bad news, you have a vocal fold hemorrhage.  Good news, we caught it early enough where you don’t need surgery.  At least not yet.”

              Okay, I can handle this.  It doesn’t sound too terribly bad, right?  But what does he mean by no surgery, at least not yet?  As if Merritt can read my mind, she proceeds to ask the same exact thing.

              “Dr. Gregory, what exactly do you mean no surgery yet?  Will this eventually require surgery?”

              “Possibly.  As long as you rest your voice and take the medication I am giving you to help heal the hemorrhage, you should not need surgery.  But from what I understand, you just don’t sing, you stay on the road touring and singing an extreme amount of time.  You might need to re-evaluate your upcoming tour to accommodate your voice.  It has been a pleasure meeting you but in all honesty, I could do without seeing you again in my office.  I want your voice to heal on it’s own without surgery.”

              As everything he tells me sinks in, I am trying to figure out how the upcoming portion of my tour is going to go.  I thank Dr. Gregory and Merritt and I head to lunch.  I make her promise not to mention this to anyone.  I would fill Allie in but other than that, give me some time to figure things out. 

              “Ashleigh, you know that is an awful idea.  You have to tell Grant and Mark.   Of anyone, your tour manager and agent deserve to know first.  Claire needs to know too.  If word gets out, you need your publicist to help blow it all over.”

              “I know Merritt and I will tell them.  Just not yet.  Give me some time.  Look, I’m home for another six weeks.  That should be plenty of time for my voice to rest.  I only intend to sing a few songs at the benefit and then nothing else.  I promise.”

              With that said, Merritt agrees to keep quiet and we finally get to enjoy our lunch at the Sweet Peach Cafe.

The rest of the week goes by uneventful.  I spend most of my time hanging with the girls.  I hang out at their house in the evenings and I’ve been helping them with all the details of the benefit during the days.  They refuse to let me speak much around them.   Merritt insisted I tell Ava, Ellis and Laken about my voice so they understood why I was keeping so quiet.  I’ve been a good girl too. 

Saturday is here and Tommy Langner should be at Elizabeth’s house very soon for the dress fittings.  The girls and I just arrived ourselves and we’re all talking over coffee when the doorbell rings.  Tommy walks in and I go to say hello.