Music of the Heart (31 page)

Before I can get my answer out, I hear a sweet little voice yelling at us from the beach.

“Aunt Ashweigh!  Uncle Cwoss!  Come pway with me!  Pwease!”

I look at Cross apologetically.  “Maybe we can talk later.  I’m pretty sure that we won’t get the chance with Greer down here now.”

“Sure.  That’s fine.  Come on, let’s go play with Greer.”

We spend the day having fun.  It’s actually the first day that all the girls have put their Kindles down and goofed off with everyone.  We played baseball, football, volleyball, built sandcastles, swam in the ocean and more.   It felt nice to have so much fun with everyone and not have a worry in the world.  It was actually one of the first days I haven’t thought about my career or lack there of.

Dinner time rolls around and my mom and sister have been busy setting everything up.  The girls and I go and help her while the guys fix drinks for everyone.  There is so much food.  My mom tends to go overboard.  Maybe that’s where the girls and I get our girls night buffet ideas from.  She has steamed shrimp, blackened alligator, crab claws, cheese sticks, fried pickles, tune dip, fried shrimp, crawfish tails, crab cakes, wings, boiled crawfish, corn and new potatoes and so much more.

Stuffing our faces full, we are all having so much fun.  I head down to the cooler to grab another beer and when I turn around, Cross is standing there. 

“Hey.  Do you need another one?”

“Yeah, I do but I also want you to take a walk with me.”

“Now?  Cross, I don’t think we should.  Everyone is out here and I’m not done eating and…”

“Ashleigh.  Stop.  I already told your mom that we were going to take a walk and would be back in a few minutes.  We can finish eating then.”

I just sit there and stare at him with this questioning look.  He breathes hard and says it again.

“Please come with me.”

The look in his eyes takes me over and I find myself walking off with him.  We walk for a while in silence until we get far enough away that no one can hear us.

“So.  Did you take me off on a walk alone to kill me or did you just want to talk?”

“Well, seeing how I told you I loved you, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to kill you.  So, maybe just for a talk.”

“Did you really mean it?

He looks at me like he isn’t sure what I’m talking about.

“Did I mean what?”

              “Did you mean it when you said you loved me earlier?  Or were you just trying to get my attention or an apology?”

              “Did I mean it?  Are you serious?  Abso-fucking-lutely I meant it.  I love you Ashleigh with everything I have.  I’ve never felt this way about anyone.  I dated a girl for almost four years in college and thought we would get married.  I thought I loved her.  The way I felt about Lauren doesn’t even compare to the way I feel about you.”

              Well, fuck.  I kind of was hoping he would say no he didn’t love me.  Now, I’m more confused than I was before.

              “You looked confused.  Tell me what’s going through your mind Ashleigh.”

              “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea Cross.”

              “Why not??

              “Because I’m still mad at you.  I’m not sure what I might say.”

              He takes a minute and drags his hand over his face.  “Yell at me.”

              “What?  Why would I yell at you?”

              “If you’re mad at me, just yell at me.  Take everything you’re keeping bottled up inside and just give it to me.”

              I stand there looking at him like he’s nuts but when I think about the idea, it’s actually what I need.  I have kept so much in about the whole fucked up situation.  I need to just scream and yell so I decide to take him up on his offer.

              “Okay.  You want me to yell, I’m going to yell.  You’re an asshole Cross.  You had no right to do anything you did.  And before you say it was for my own good, I get that but that still doesn’t give you the right to take my life over and decide how my career is going to go without talking to me first.  How could you do that to me?  If you really love me like you say you do, why in the fucking hell would you try to ruin my career by forcing me to take a six-month break?!  Do you know what that did to me?  DO YOU?!”

              I keep yelling for a few minutes and then I just lose it and break down.  I start bawling my eyes out and just slump to the sand.  Cross is right beside me in a heartbeat.  He wraps his arms around me and just holds me while I cry.  And I let him. 

              I take a few minutes and then try to compose myself.  I move out of his arms and wipe my face with my hands.  I blow out a deep breath and turn to face him.

              “We probably should head back.  I’m sure everyone is wondering where we went.”

              I start to walk away and Cross stops me by grabbing my hand.

              “Ashleigh.  Please forgive me.”

              “I… I need time to think.”

              With a defeated look, he finally follows me back down the beach.  I get back to everyone first and walk back to fix a plate of food.  Merritt beelines it straight for me.

              “What was that all about?  What happened down there?”

              “Why do you think anything happened?  He asked me to talk.  That’s all.”

              “I know you and I know him and I know the looks on both your faces.  Y’all may have talked but it doesn’t look like it went well.”

              “Look Merritt, I love you but I really don’t want to talk about it right now.”

              She just nods and doesn’t mention it again and I’m pretty sure she tells everyone else to not ask either because no one talks to me about Cross the rest of the night.

CROSS

              The week at the beach comes to an end and I am up at 5:00 a.m. to head back home.  I told everyone good-bye last night knowing I would be up earlier than most.  I asked Merritt to give me her condo key so I could come by before I left and tell Ashleigh good-bye regardless if she’s still mad at me or not.

I try to be extremely quiet as I sneak through their condo to Ashleigh’s bedroom.  I slip in and close her door and as creepy as it may sound, I just watch her sleep for a few minutes.  I sit down on the side of the bed and rub a hand down her cheek.  I see her dreary eyes open and look at me. 

“Cross, what are you doing here?  Or I am dreaming?”

“No, I’m real but it’s nice to know you may be dreaming about me.  I wanted to see you before I left.  I know you’re still mad at me but I just need you to know again I’m sorry and I do love you.”

I lean down and kiss her forehead and tell her to go back to sleep.  Walking out of her room, I leave the key on the kitchen counter and head towards my car.  I leave before anyone else because I missed so much work, I will be slammed trying to play catch up.

By the time I get home, it’s a little after lunch time and I head straight for my office.  Being a real estate and development company, our offices stay open seven days a week especially in the residential department so the office is pretty busy when I get there.  The only people not made to work on weekends are our secretaries so seeing Barbara at her desk comes as a shock to me.

“Barbara?  What are you doing here?  It’s Saturday.  You should be spending time with your family today.”

“Cross Hamilton.  I’ve worked for you since you started this company.  I knew you would come in today after being gone a week.  Trust me, you need my help today.  I can come in tomorrow too.”

“Well, thank you.  I will take your help today but we’ll discuss tomorrow.”

I throw my self into work and after two hours, I realize I never ate lunch and I’m starving.  I buzz Barbara at her desk.

“Barbara…”

“I’ve already got your lunch coming in Cross.  Should be here in about two minutes.”

“Thank you.”

She knows me well.  I eat my lunch and work non-stop in my office for the next three hours.  When I realize it’s 5:00, I take a break and walk to Barbara’s desk. 

“You need to go home and spend the rest of the weekend with your family.  I’ve got it handled.  You’ll most likely have a long list on Monday.  I’ve got several trips that need to be scheduled and I will probably be gone quite a bit in the next month.”

With that, Barbara goes home and I stay at the office until 9:00.  I spend all day Sunday working from home and when Monday rolls around, I basically lock myself in my office working like a madman.  Barbara is busy scheduling flights, booking hotels and making all the arrangements for business trips to California, Canada, Chicago, New York and Boston.  Dixon does stop by around lunch time and thankfully not only came to talk but brought me food.

“Hey man.  You able to take a quick break?  I brought lunch and thought we could talk.”

“Hey D.  Come on in.”

We shoot the shit for a little while as we eat our sandwiches and then I can tell when his expression changes that he wants to talk about Ashleigh.

“So, you going to tell me what happened on the beach that night with Ashleigh?”

I tell him what happened on our walk and of course, asked what he thinks about it.

“Cross, I honestly think her shell is breaking but just give her what she asked – time.  I’d be willing to bet everything that she is in love with you too but after everything that’s happened, she’s not about to say it to you yet.”

“You’re right.  She will get plenty of time between her second week at the beach and me being out of town for work for a few weeks.  I’ve decided to step back and give her the time she needs.  When she’s ready to talk, that will be up to her.”

Dixon heads out to his office and get back to work.  I stay a few more hours and then head home to pack my bags.  I am leaving at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow for California and need to take care of some things before my flight.

Chapter Thirty-Five

ASHLEIGH

              I spend the last week at the beach just thinking about everything.  By my last night there, it finally hit me.  I love Cross.  I’m
in
love with Cross.  I need to talk to him face to face when I get home Saturday.

              I go through all the good-byes with my family and head back to Atlanta as they leave for Birmingham.  I get back home around 3:00 p.m. and the girls are waiting for me at my house with bags of food and a lot of wine.

              “Hey ladies!  I’m so happy to see y’all but I really need to go somewhere.”

              “What?!  Where do you need to go?  We’re all here to see you and brought you food and wine!”