Murder in the Winter (21 page)

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, I’ve got my own transportation. I can drive
to the Blue Moon if you’d rather go back and eat with Miss Lovely.”

I looked for something to throw at my partner, like a
tire jack, but alas, it was all the way in the back. Besides, with my luck I
might’ve missed his head and broken a window.

+++

Lou and I were eager to get home and get off our feet.
Lou was still in the middle of a puzzle, a winter scene in the mountains.  I
was anxious to see if Sheriff Andy Taylor could help me solve my case. Too bad
Hilldale wasn’t like Mayberry. Sometimes people in Hilldale murdered other
people. In Mayberry they merely got drunk and locked themselves in a jail cell.

+++

I watched three episodes of
The Andy Griffith Show
and fell asleep during the fourth. By then I was so despondent that I was the
one who had to solve all the murders and Andy got all the glory for doing
little other than philosophizing.

Things grew worse after I tucked myself in for the
night. There’s something about mixing lots of good food with no results in the
case that leads to nightmares. I had a doozy of a nightmare that night. As I
left for work one morning, not paying any attention to my surroundings, a mangy
mutt came from out of nowhere and tripped me. Before I could pick myself up
from the snow, two women lunged for me from different directions. While the dog
growled at me, warning me not to move, the hussy from next door licked the left
side of my face. Crouching over me on the other side, Yolanda Lovely nibbled at
my ear while she ran her fingers through my hair. I was helpless and lay there
wondering if my face would ever be the same again.

As I lay there, fading fast, I heard the faint call of
a bugle. The noise grew progressively louder, when soon, on to the scene came
Mark, my yard boy, who had stopped by the Blue Moon. He shoveled grub into my
mouth until I’d gained enough strength to push both women into the snow. I scrambled
to my feet, only to find Lou sitting on the front porch laughing profusely,
while George Michaelson and Frank Harris stood nearby taking pictures.

I was on my way over to take their cameras and break
them over the porch railing when I woke up, found my pillow in my mouth and the
bedcovers twisted around my body. The covers had mummified me so much that it
took close to a minute before I could unwrap myself and rise above the
occasion. I wondered if there was a safer way to sleep. I was sure there was. I
knew that while I struggled with the covers and nightmares of women, Lou was
laying under four covers snoring to his heart’s content.

27

I awoke Thursday morning and remembered the snowfall
of the night before. I went to the window, looked out. I would get an official
snowfall measurement as soon as I talked to my partner, but to my novice eyes,
it didn’t look like it snowed as much as it had the previous week.

Snowfall. The previous week. My thoughts focused on
those words, and I remembered that I still had an unsolved case. I still had
work to do. New people invaded the case every day. I just didn’t know how much
any of these new people, or any of the others for that matter, had anything to
do with the three murders. At least, I assumed there were no new murders. 

+++

After spending time in the shower, and with God, I
picked up the phone and dialed Sam’s number. He answered using a refrain I’d
heard him use much too often.

“This is Sam I Am, dining on green eggs and ham.”

“So, you’re eating at Overlook Inn?”

“I don’t have your expense account, Cy. I’m feasting
at Microwave R Us. They promise to have your food ready in five minutes or
less, or you don’t have to eat it.”

“You might try dining at the Blue Moon some day.”

“I thought about it, but I’ve heard about the riffraff
that invade that place.”

“Suit yourself, Riff and Raff will be going back soon,
but I just wanted to know if you found out anything about our man Phelps
yesterday.”

“I found a couple of places where he’s eaten. Most of
the time he ate alone. A couple of times he came in with someone else. Once the
waitress recognized the other man as Mr. Burris, the plumber. The other time
was the day before Phelps left town. He went to this place with some guy. Took
a booth. The waitress didn’t know the other guy. From what she could tell, they
seemed like good friends. Also, they left a big tip. Much larger than what
Phelps usually left.”

“Sam, I too have someone who saw a guy with Phelps.
How hard would it be for you to come up with pictures of all the people I’ve
had you check out?”

“You mean the ones who live here in town?”

“That’s right.”

“You mean everyone at the apartment building and everyone
at the inn?”

“You got it.”

“Because there’s so many of them, you’d better give me
until tomorrow morning.”

“That’s the soonest you can do?”

“I’m not sure, Cy, but it does take a while to come up
with pictures of so many people.”

“That’s okay, Sam. Tomorrow will be fine. We’ll just
work on other things today. I’ll give you a call in the morning and stop by and
pick up the pictures.”

“Okay, Cy, but I’m not sharing my green eggs and ham.”

“Keep your green eggs and ham. I’ll take the Blue Moon
any day.”

+++

Lightning left his calling card in the snow as he made
tracks for Lou’s apartment. Lou was standing by the window watching for us as I
pulled up out front. He threw up his hand to let me know he’d seen me, then
moved away from the window. A few seconds later, Lou opened the front door and
stepped out into the snow. He weighs only eleven pounds less than I do, but he
manages to navigate the slippery snow better.

“He threw open the car door and shouted, “Fun, fun,
fun, till my daddy took the T-bird away.”

“What’s the matter, Lou? Get a speeding ticket? I know
a cop who might fix it for you.”

“And I know a cop who might fix you, too.”

“So, what’s all this ‘fun, fun, fun stuff?”

“That’s our clue for the day.”

“That gives me an idea. How’d you like to have fun today?”

My partner cautiously asked, “Doing what?”

“Well, Sam can’t come up with pictures of everyone
until tomorrow morning. I thought it might help us if we showed one group the
other group’s pictures. Maybe we can find someone who stepped off his home
turf. How’d you like to take the day off and recharge your batteries?”

“I’m still not sure what you’re getting at, Cy. Doing
what?”

“I thought we’d eat breakfast, then I’ll take you
home, then come back and get you at lunch. You can do whatever you like in the
meantime. Then, I’ll take you home again until time for supper. You know, like
we’d gotten used to until our adversary decreased Hilldale’s population. That
way we’ll both be ready to tackle things again the first thing tomorrow
morning.”

“I think we can tackle better if someone lets us know
who we’re to tackle.”

“You got that right.”

I felt that the time was right to tell Lou about my
nightmare. He chuckled and slapped his knee a few times before responding.

“It’s a premonition, Cy.”

“Bite your tongue.”

“I mean it. It’s in the cards. You’re in love with
both women. It’s time you quit leading one of them on and decide which of the
two you want to marry. On the one hand, there’s your neighbor, whom you’ve
known for a long time. The three of you could have a wonderful time together,
you, Miss Humphert, and the mutt. And then there’s Miss Lovely. She’s a lot
younger. She’s a lot prettier. There’s a better chance she’ll be around to take
care of you in your old age. On the other hand, what happens if a younger man
comes along and snatches her away? At least with your next-door neighbor you
don’t have to worry about another man wanting her. Just let me know, Cy. Who
knows? If you set the date, Thelma Lou and I might decide to do the same
thing.”

Lou’s interpretation of my nightmare was almost as bad
as the nightmare itself. It seemed like Lightning was enjoying Lou’s diatribe
so much that he slowed down. Finally, we arrived at the Blue Moon. I opened the
door, jumped from Lightning as quickly as I could, and lunged for the front
door of the restaurant.

As I plopped down on my stool, I turned to Rosie and
said, “He’s not eating today.”

“So, what’s wrong with you two. Having a lover’s quarrel?"

“In a manner of speaking, yes,” Lou replied. “He’s had
a lot of women after him this week. I think it’s time he settled down and got
married.”

“Over my dead body,” Rosie said.

“Why do you care?” Lou asked.

“If he’s going marry anyone, it’ll be me. I’m not
about to lose my job just because some women are after him. What happens if he
marries on2e who can cook?”

Lou remembered Miss Lovely’s invitation to dinner and
responded, “Well, at least one of them can.”

+++

I felt guilty about going home. We hadn’t solved the
case, yet. Still, I knew that there are times when we are to step away, so that
we can see the big picture. I returned home, plopped down in my recliner, but
saw no picture. But I was about to. I could hear Lucy calling me. I thought it
was fitting that the first episode I watched was one where Lucy thought that
Ricky was trying to murder her. The laughs continued with the next installment,
one where Ricky takes the checkbook away from Lucy because she hadn’t paid the
bills in months. When Lucy finds out that she can win one thousand dollars on a
radio show, just for making a fool of herself, she becomes a contestant. All
she has to do to win the money is pretend that she has been married before. An
actor will show up at her apartment at 8:00, and she is to tell Ricky that this
man was her first husband. If she continues the charade until midnight, the
money is hers. I laughed as Lucy found herself in one dilemma after another. I
enjoyed the shows so much I almost forgot to pick Lou up for lunch. Almost, but
not quite. My growling stomach alerted me to the time.

+++

“So, what did you do this morning, Lou?”

“I had a puzzling experience.”

“You mean you worked on the case?”

“No, my mountain scene. I now have all the edge pieces
in place and am missing only a few pieces of the cabin.”

“I hope the excitement wasn’t too much for you.”

“Watch it! I’m liable to imitate your voice some day,
and invite your next-door neighbor over to visit.”

“Oh, didn’t I tell you. I’m thinking about installing
an electric fence, and put a collar on my neighbor and her dog so they can’t
get in.”

+++

Lou and I changed venues for lunch and tried a
hole-in-the-wall called Hot Dog Haven. We had never eaten there, but had heard
good things about it. We were warned not to judge the place by its décor, but
then Lou and I have never allowed a restaurant’s furnishings to determine
whether or not to eat there. If I see no mice or roaches, I’ll give a place a
try one time. Well, I will unless its one of those cloth napkins and fancy
tablecloth places. I’d never do one of those places without a lady in tow.

+++

Around 5:00, Lou called and woke me from my nap.

“Have you looked outside?”

“No, is my neighbor looking in my window?”

“If so, she’ll leave footprints.”

“Does that mean she’s our murderer?”

“Well, that would solve one of your problems. Then
you’d be down to Miss Lovely and that old lady over on Linden Place.”

“Enough about my love life. I assume you mean it’s
snowed some more.”

“One point seven eight inches so far, and it’s still
snowing.”

“So what’re you saying? Do you want to eat early?”

“We might go a little early and then get home. We have
a lot of people to talk to tomorrow.”

“Is six o’clock all right?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“Don’t say it that way. People will think you’re my
date.”

“Sorry, Cy, but Thelma Lou is much more my type.”

“Mine, too.”

“Keep your hands off my girl. You’ve already got at
least four of your own.”

28

I opened my eyes and welcomed Friday morning. Okay, I
didn’t welcome it. Well, I guess I did, but I didn’t burst from my bed singing.
I lay there, afraid to get up to see how much snow had fallen. When I mustered
the courage, I had mixed feelings. The snow was too deep to drive through, but
there was no note on my car. At least, I didn’t see any footprints beside it.
Of course it’s possible the perp slithered up the other side. I was wondering
what to do, when I heard the sound of a snow shovel coming from the front of
the house. I walked through the house, looked out the living room window, and
smiled. Mark, snow shoveler extraordinaire, was already at work on my driveway.
I dashed to the shower so I would be dressed by the time he finished shoveling.

+++

I picked up the phone to call Sam to make sure Lou and
I had a full day. I heard someone pick up the phone, then listened. I waited
until he spoke first.

“From the heavy breathing on the other end of the line
I’d say that my caller is an overweight policeman.”

“I like corpulent and obese better.”

“How about a well-rounded individual?”

“Now, I think I like yours better. So, tell me, Master
Sleuth, did you run through the neighborhood and take everyone’s picture?”

“My methods are different from yours, Cy, but I do
have all the pictures. You doubted my abilities?”

“No, anyone who can come up with Ray Phelps picture
ought to be able to round up all the local rowdies. Is it okay if Lou and I
stop by after we eat?”

“What are we talking about? A little before noon?”

“No, we’ll be there at least by eleven. Take a nap and
we’ll put you to work when we get there.”

+++

Mark ran interference for me, so I managed to get to
Lightning and skid out of my driveway before the woman from another planet
could sink her claws into my tires. The main streets had been plowed, but
Lightning tiptoed down the side streets, hoping not to get stuck. I pulled up
in front of the good sergeant’s house. He stepped outside, picked up some snow,
molded it into a snowball, and hoisted it in my direction. Only his old age
kept him from making contact. I could tell he thought about making a second
snowball, but refrained, jaunted over to where I was parked, and opened the
door. He spoke before he got in.

“Night owl.”

“No, I went to bed about the same time last night.”

“I mean those are our words for the day,” he said as
he sat down and closed the door.

“Does it mean that you and I are about to stay up
late, or that we are to look for someone who does?”

I looked at my partner and read his unspoken words.
The look on his face told me what he had told me so many times over the years.
I
am just the messenger, not the interpreter.
But I could tell that he too
wondered what the words meant.

I anticipated another fun day, so I got the ball
rolling.

“Question,  Lou.  We’re heading out to Overlook Inn today.
Would you rather eat breakfast there, rather than the Blue Moon?”

He looked around the car, like he was searching for
something.

“What’re you looking for, Lou?”

“I’m trying to find the ejector button for your seat.”

“Won’t do any good, Lou. I’ve got my seatbelt on.”

“I’ll hit that button first.”

“Can you wait until we get to the Blue Moon and eject
me inside?”

“I can, but you’ll be the one responsible for
replacing the glass window.”

I pictured myself pulling shards of glass from my
face. It was not a pretty sight, but then my face has been known to scare
people without the glass. I anticipated that my face would scare a few people
later that day, but not enough for someone to confess to the murders. That
would take a little more work.

We headed to the Blue Moon amid little traffic. My
guess was that most people had already gotten where they were going or had
looked outside and decided to put off what must be done for at least one more
day. It was a good day to hibernate, but some of us could not curl up beside
the fireplace until our murderer was caught. Of course, I would need to have a
fireplace installed before I could curl up beside one, but I wouldn’t have
minded staying home.

I maneuvered Lightning into a parking place right in
front of the Blue Moon and hoisted myself from the car. Forty-five minutes
later, fully loaded, two chubby cops left the diner and made tracks for Sam’s
place. Like Lou and I, Sam is allowed to use his home as his base of
operations. We go to the police department proper only when necessary. We
pulled up in front of Sam’s place, and he saw us coming. He met us at the door,
waving a handful of photographs.

“Good timing, Cy. I barely had time to read
War and
Peace
while I waited on you.”

“Is that the cartoon that’s in the newspaper?”

Lou and I stepped inside and Sam handed me a copy of
each of the pictures. I was impressed by their pristine condition. I didn’t
want to ask him how he came up with them. If I did, he would give me a talk
about how most cops have left the dark ages behind. I looked at the picture on
top, then slid it to the bottom and looked at the next until I’d looked at all
of them. All of them were easily identifiable. Recent pictures anyone could
recognize, as long as he or she had seen any of these people. I wondered how
Sam had come up with pictures of Rothschild, who never seemed to leave his
apartment, and Mrs. Crouch, an apartment manager that didn’t seem to fit in
with the mix. And Manfred and Mabel Mitchuson seldom left the inn. At least,
they don’t as far as I know. I separated the pictures into two groups, those
that resided at the inn, and the residents of Oppenheimer Arms. Then, I added
Phelps’s picture. Sam too had copies of all our suspects. While Lou and I
tackled the people at the inn, Oppenheimer Arms, and Phelps’s landlady, Sam
would go back to those people who recognized Phelps’s picture to see if they
recognized any of the other people.

+++

The snow had been cleared, so all we had to do to get
from town to Precipice Point was navigate the slalom course. Lou informed me
that the snowfall total at his house was three and one-half inches, or about
the same amount we had had the night before. The last two nights’ snowfall was
just shy of what we had had the night before we arrived at the inn.

With the snow being so deep, Lightning couldn’t plow
through the unshoveled circular driveway of the Overlook Inn, so we parked on
the bridge and trudged uphill to the heated building. Two days later, with our
candy supply depleted, we arrived at the inn.

I opened the door and the two of us stepped inside. An
unsuspecting  Longworth  looked  up  from  behind  the check-in counter. His
look told us that he was as excited to see us as he would have been if he’d
heard that his mother-in-law had been paroled.

“Sorry, Lieutenant, we have no new bodies to report.”

“Oh, and we were looking forward to spending the rest
of the winter with you. Anyway, the day is still young. You never know when the
next body will drop.”

“Do you know something that I don’t?” Longworth asked,
looking concerned.

“I would hope so, Mr. Longworth. I hope you haven’t
found out what Sgt. Murdock and I did in English class back in the eighth
grade. We’d hoped to take that secret to our graves.”

“Are you telling me that you’ll be checking out soon?”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Mr. Longworth. You know how
much you’d miss our unexpected visits. After we’ve gotten to know each other
and become just good friends. The next two cops might not be nice guys like the
two of us.”

“So why did you come and see me today? You could’ve
called. I could’ve answered any of your questions by phone.”

“But how are you at identifying photographs over the
phone?”

“Do you have another corpse for me to identify? Has another
of my actors been murdered?”

“Now, Mr. Longworth. You know we must keep some secrets
until we get to know each other better. What I’d like right now is to see
everyone, one at a time, in the conference room. You know how much I like
talking to people in those cozy surroundings.”

“You want everyone.”

“Don’t tell me you wanted all the attention. You need
to share me with the others. Don’t worry. I’ve got only a couple of questions
for everyone, and because you’re so jealous, I’m going to save you for last.”         

I had Longworth unlock the door to the conference
room. I stepped inside, and then sent Lou with Longworth to see that the
proprietor did his job properly, without talking.

I made a list of the order I wanted to see everyone,
and once the crew had been assembled, I had Lou stand outside with them, so no
one would talk on his or her way out of the room. I removed the photographs of
everyone at the inn, and had the others ready for each person to identify.

I started with the two chefs and the server. None of
them seemed to recognize Phelps or any of the actors. When I asked if any of
them had heard that the inn would once again include plays among its
activities, all of them said, “no,” but Antoine appeared to be lying.

I had Lou let Manfred in next.

“Good to see you again, Manfred. This will just take a
minute. I want you to look at these photos and tell me if you’ve ever seen any
of these people.”

He gave them a careful look.

“No. At least, I don’t think so. None of them look familiar.
Should I know them? Wait a minute. Yeah, this guy. He was a guest at the inn
when you were.”

I made a note that he had identified Tony McArthur,
the only actor who showed up at the inn without a disguise.

“Are you saying the rest of them have been here, too?”

“Not necessarily. Most of them are people who live in
Hilldale. I was just wondering if any of them had been guests at the inn.”

“There have been very few guests at the inn so far. I
assume there will be more when the weather warms up and people find out about
this place. Most of the ones who’ve stayed here were here when you were.”

“One other question. Who told you that the theater at
the inn would reopen?”

“My wife. She told me that Mrs. Longworth told her.
Please don’t tell Mrs. Longworth. I’d hate for us to get in trouble and lose
our jobs.”

“Don’t worry, Manfred. This is our secret. You can go
now.”

“That’s good. I just finished shoveling the roof. I
need to plow the driveway.”

Manfred left, and his wife came in next. Her statements
echoed his.

I finished with the Mitchusons and took Mrs. Longworth
before her husband. She claimed to have talked to no one about the possibility
of plays at the inn and didn’t recognize any of the people. 

Finally we admitted Longworth, and Lou came in with
him.

“See, Mr. Longworth, it hasn’t been painful or time consuming.
No one was injured, nor did anyone lose much work time answering our questions.
That is, up to now. Now, it’s your turn. Tell me the last time you saw this
guy,” I said as I thrust Phelps picture under his nose.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this individual.”

“Are you sure, Mr. Longworth? We might have someone
who has seen the two of you together.”

“If so, we weren’t together. I do not know this man.”

“What about any of these people?”

Longworth looked through the pictures.

“These six are all actors. I assume these other three
are too, but to the best of my knowledge I’ve never seen them.”

I took the pictures from Longworth. He recognized everyone
expect Mrs. Crouch, Profitt, and Phelps.

“And have you seen any of these six since the inn reopened?”

“Well, two of them died here, so you know I recognized
those two. Unless some of the others came in costume, I haven’t seen any of
them recently.”

“Okay, now to question number three. Who did you talk
to about offering plays at the inn?”

“Just Carter Thornton.”

“No one else?”

“No.”

“Not even your wife?”

“Oh, sure. We’ve talked about it. We talked about it
before we took over the inn. I thought you meant actors.”

“I mean anyone at all.”

“Just Carter and my wife.”

“And no one knew that Carter Thornton was to be here
the weekend he was murdered?”

“Not that I know of.”

“So why did these other actors come in costume?”

“I have no earthly idea, Lieutenant. I’ve been
thinking about the same thing and haven’t come up with a solution.”

The man seemed to be telling the truth, but one never
knows when one is dealing with thespians. They are used to performing.