Murder Crops Up (13 page)

I headed for the front door, ready to give Carlotta a good reason to fear me.

The phone rang.

I swung around to face it through the archway between the dining area and living room. It rang again, a shrill, self-important summons that twisted my guts.

Like a somnambulist, I walked toward it. It rang once more. On the fourth ring, the answering machine would pick up. My hand hovered over the receiver. At the last moment, I seized it and brought it to my ear.

“Liz? Are you there?” It was Drake, sounding impatient. “Hello?”

“Drake.” My voice was strangled. I cleared my throat. “Hello.”

“Are you okay? What’s the matter?” The impatience left his voice, replaced by concern.

“Nothing.” I had to swallow a couple of times before I could speak. “I hear your dad’s better.”

“He’s a little more comfortable today. They still don’t know if the marrow transplant will be needed.” He paused. “You must have been talking with Bruno. I’m surprised he picked up my e-mail already.”

“You—” I cleared my throat. “You had a message. She said—”

“She?” His voice was sharp.

“The woman who called. She didn’t leave a name or time. She said Daphne said your dad was better, so she assumed you could do dinner.”

There was silence for a moment. Then Drake spoke. His voice, unexpectedly, was laced with humor. “Are you jealous?”

“Yes.” The one word burst from me before I could stop it.

He laughed. “That’s good.”

“Drake, you can’t do this to me."

“I’m sorry, Liz.” He spoke more gently. “Suellen’s parents and mine are close, and she’s Daphne’s best friend. We grew up together. Her folks invited my mom and my sister and me for dinner, but we begged off until we knew if we could leave the hospital. See? No big deal.” He added thoughtfully, “I don’t really know why she called there, though. She knows how to reach us at the hospital.”

“Does she know I’m picking up your calls? Have you talked about me?”

The humor left his voice. “I don’t discuss our relationship with anyone.”

“Because we don’t have one?”

“Don’t push, Liz.”

“She called here to warn me off.” I don’t know how to play female games, but that doesn’t mean I can’t recognize them when I see them. “Is she married?”

“You really are jealous, aren’t you?”

“Just answer the question.”

He sighed. “She was married. It didn’t take.”

“She cried on your shoulder. She’s ready for a family, for a nice little home in the suburbs. She’s always thought the two of you would get together sometime. She—”

“Liz, stop.” The exasperation was clear. “Sheesh, I was going to put you through the wringer for all the trouble you’ve gotten into while I was gone. How did you turn the tables on me like this?”

“It’s true, isn’t it? Her biological clock is ticking—”

“Women must have some kind of weird psychic network link, that’s all I can say. You’ve never even met Suellen.”

I took a deep breath and tried for some control. “I’m sorry, Drake. I can’t believe I would babble like that. It’s just that Bruno said—”

“What did Bruno say? You have been talking to him, haven’t you? Is he making you part of the investigation? I’ll have his hide for that.”

“Don’t be a dork, Paul. He’s just doing his job. And speaking of jobs, he said you’re being offered a very nice one in Seattle. Where they have all that good coffee, and women who want to embrace domesticity—”

“This is a side of you I hadn’t seen before.” I couldn’t tell what he was thinking from his voice. “I have a very good job in Palo Alto, one that doesn’t involve so much paperwork. I have plenty of domesticity there. I have a nice house. I have all the coffee I want. And there’s something very important in Palo Alto they don’t have here.”

“Sunshine? It rains a lot there, I’m told.”

“That’s true. It rains, and there are no stubborn women who drive incredibly old VW buses and grow divine vegetables.”

“And no dogs like Barker. Don’t forget him.”

“There are certainly no other dogs like Barker anywhere in the world.” He was amused again. “What’s the boy up to these days? Digging up my yard?”

“He’s in ecstasy because of Amy’s visit.”

“Oh, yes. Amy.” Drake smothered a yawn. “What’s happening with her? Did she confess to arson?”

“She’s pregnant.”

A moment of silence. “Whoo. She really knows how to worry her poor old aunt. What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. Not my problem.”

“Famous last words.”

He was right about that. “I hope she goes to Planned Parenthood tomorrow for a checkup and some counseling. It’s up to her. She doesn’t want to have the baby, but she might change her mind.”

“Hey, she could pass it over to you. Instant family.” This careless echo of Bridget’s suggestion blew through me like a cold wind. “I hope you’re joking, Drake. And it’s not funny, anyway.”

“No, it’s not.” He sighed again, the gusty sound whispering into my ear. “What else is happening? Any other dead people cropping up?”

“No, but Carlotta’s parked outside again. She’s blocking the driveway.”

“She’s losing her marbles, if she ever had any.” Drake was exasperated. “Do me a favor. Don’t go confront her. Call the parking enforcement and ask them to send someone out. Don’t get involved, Liz.”

“It’s such a mess.” I wondered how tired Drake was of being embroiled in my messes. “I didn’t ask for this. It’s because people like Carlotta see me as undesirable.”

“Don’t let them chase you away. Just ignore it, turn it over to the police.” His voice was urgent.

“Chase me away, hell! I’m getting mad. What have I done wrong? Nothing! Why should I put up with this?”

"Hmm."

“What does that mean?”

“It means you’re showing a lot of spirit for a woman who likes to duck.”

“I’m just tired of being pushed around,” I muttered.

“I hear you. Just the same, don’t go confronting loony old ladies. Just a minute.” He put his hand over the receiver; I could hear muffled voices. “I have to go. Remember, I love that you’re jealous. But you don’t have to worry.” He paused. “I miss you like crazy.”

“Same here.” I controlled the quaver in my voice. “Thanks, Drake. Paul. I—I look forward to your return.”

“How much?” His voice was lower, sexier.

“How much?” I ran my tongue over my lips. “Well, I was thinking about becoming more acquainted with your bedroom."

He cleared his throat. “I’ll remember that.” He spoke to someone else. “Be right there, Daff. Bye, Liz.”

I hung up the phone in a completely different frame of mind than I’d answered it. True, this Suellen sounded like the kind of woman who got her way, although how I could tell that from just a seconds-long message was another one of those female mysteries that Drake would decry as impossible. At any rate, he still seemed to prefer an unremarkable-looking ex-vagabond with a gardening jones and an unruly dog. Lucky for me.

I had forgotten to give him his other message, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, even Carlotta crouching at the end of my driveway, a self-righteous monitor of my criminal behavior. I drifted into the living room and checked that she was still there, which she was. Putting my hands up against the window to seal light from my eyes, I could even see a little penlight in the front seat with her shadowy bulk crouched behind it. She was reading something, and after our previous encounter, she’d chosen to eschew her dome light. This little precaution only made me smile. Ten minutes ago, I would have been out there, dumping her penlight’s batteries on the ground and trying to scare some sense into her.

Just because I was feeling good didn’t mean I’d let her completely off the hook. I went back to the kitchen and got out the phone book to chase down the number of the parking enforcers. Before I could open the book, the phone rang again.

I picked it up and caroled a cheery hello, thinking it was Drake with some forgotten tidbit for me.

Bruno’s voice. “Good, you are there, Liz. When the line was busy, I hoped you were using the phone. How long have you been there?”

His words alarmed me. “Since Bridget dropped me off. I checked on Amy and then came here to see if Drake had called. He hadn’t. But he did, a few minutes after I got here.” I glanced toward the front of the house. “Say, Bruno, I was just about to call you folks. Carlotta’s been blocking my driveway since before Drake called. Who should I call to have her ticketed? This is really going too far.”

“She has been parked?” I heard clacking, and realized Bruno was in note-taking mode.

“What’s going on? Are you taking this down?”

“You are a lucky person tonight, Liz. Your Carlotta has been very helpful to you. I will speak with Bridget, and then there will be no problems.”

“Why should there be problems?” Apprehensive shivers made their way down my spine. “What are you talking about?”

“Lois Humphries was found at the garden tonight, after you and Bridget left.”

The shivering intensified. “Oh, no. No.”

“She was dead,” Bruno continued, his voice implacable. “She had fallen behind the pile of wood chips the gardeners use for mulching their paths. She was holding a wooden box, about shoe-box size, which we think must contain the husband’s ashes she was so careful of. She had not been dead long, Liz. And several people told us that you were there.” He paused, but I could say nothing. “You would have made a very convenient scapegoat, if not for your Carlotta. Do not leave Drake’s house. We will be there shortly to interview both of you.”

He hung up, and so did I. I tried to take in what he’d said, but it was hard to believe that scrappy little Lois could be dead.

I went back into the living room. Carlotta was still parked out front. Little did she know the effect her spiteful act would have. Nervous giggles bubbled out of me, turning into laughter. I knew it was hysterical, but I let it have its way with me.

It took the sound of cars approaching to sober me. I went to the door to let in Bruno and his minions.

Chapter 16

Bruno herded Carlotta into the house, followed closely by Bridget and Officer Rhea. Carlotta sputtered with indignation; Bridget looked worried.

“You do not seem to understand, Mrs. Houseman.” Bruno spoke, for him, sternly. “You are blocking a driveway. That is serious. What if emergency vehicles could not get by?”

“I would have moved my car if there had been any need.” Carlotta shot me a venomous look.

“I do not understand why you felt this was necessary.” Bruno gestured toward Drake’s couch. “Please, be comfortable.” He nodded at Officer Rhea, who wandered through the archway into the dining area, returning with a chair that she parked in the doorway.

Bridget also sat on the couch. I chose the straight, uncomfortable chair near the hall, the one that’s usually piled high with Drake’s gym bag and pieces of clothing he’s discarded. When I’d tidied it up earlier, I had no idea I’d be sitting there, feeling like a criminal in the witness box.

Bruno sat in the chair by the door, his laptop perched on his knees. He arched his eyebrows at Carlotta, who crossed her arms over her bosom and refused to speak.

“Carlotta has gotten some idea that Liz is dangerous, Bruno.” Bridget leaped into the breach. “Why, I don’t know.” She looked at Carlotta, exasperated. “Her behavior has been totally unacceptable.”

“I resent that.” Carlotta sat up straighter. “I have only done what needs to be done to protect everyone around here.” She stared at me angrily. “You all don’t seem to realize the danger you’re in. Since this woman somehow managed to snatch poor Vivien’s property, people have been murdered. I call that cause and effect.”

“Well, I call it libelous. Or is it slanderous?” Bridget’s cheeks flamed. “Either way, a lawyer could make a good case against you. And I advise Liz to get one.” She turned to Bruno. “I’m glad to see the police are taking this kind of stalking and loose talk seriously. Are you going to arrest her?”

“Arrest me!” Carlotta bridled in outrage. “You must be joking. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“If spreading lies and rumors isn’t wrong, then it wouldn’t be wrong for me to do the same to you, is that right?” Bridget’s eyes narrowed. “I have a friend at the Forum, as a matter of fact. I think I’ll give her this whole story, with a lot of juicy speculation on how you’re losing your marbles, Carlotta. Going gaga. Ready for the locked ward.”

Bruno cleared his throat, and the two women halted the battle. I had been ready to give Carlotta a piece of my mind, but hadn’t been able to get a word in edgewise. Besides, I rather enjoyed hearing Bridget defend me.

“I would like to know what happened after I left you two ladies at your car this evening.” Bruno’s words fell into the silence. Bridget looked at him speculatively.

“Nothing, as far as I’m concerned,” she said. “We drove home and I dropped Liz off here. She said she was going to check on her niece and then wait in here for a phone call. I went home.” She looked at Bruno, and some of the attitude left her voice. “What’s happened, Bruno? Why do you need to know this?”

Bruno didn’t answer. He turned to Carlotta. “When did you park your car across Liz’s driveway, Mrs. Houseman?”

She sniffed. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I came directly here after poor Rita’s brother spoke so affectingly at the service.”

“You weren’t here when I dropped off Liz,” Bridget said.

“I parked down the street. She”—Carlotta pointed at me— "walked off down her driveway, and I realized I couldn’t see well enough.”

Bruno looked up from his laptop. “What was it you wanted to see, Mrs. Houseman?”

A pregnant pause ensued. Carlotta drew herself up. “I am watching her.” She jerked her head toward me. “I should think you would be grateful, Detective Morales. She knows I’m watching. She wouldn’t dare do anything for fear of what I’ll say.” Her eyes glittered.

Bruno was taken aback. “You truly believe Liz to be a murderer, and yet you risk angering her this way?”

“Well, she—I—” Carlotta floundered.

“If she is a killer, why does she not just make you her next victim?” Bruno seemed genuinely interested in the answer.