Mumnesia (16 page)

‘Ingrid would kill me if she could
see me now,’ Danny grins, licking pizza sauce off his
fingers. ‘I feel like a naughty schoolboy!’

‘Well, you were, once.’ I smile,
leaning across the table to grab another slice. ‘Remember
that time you glued all Mr Hammond’s things to his
desk?’

‘I did not!’

‘You totally did!’

‘Why would I do such a thing?’ he
asks, holding his hands up, mock-offended.

I grin. ‘Because I dared you to.’

Danny chuckles and swirls his wine. ‘You
were
such
a bad influence.’

‘Er, you were just as bad!’ I
counter. ‘Remember when you dared me to climb on to the
roof of the maths classroom?
During
lessons?’

‘Gosh, I’d forgotten all about
that!’ He claps a hand over his mouth. ‘Didn’t
we get caught?’

I nod. ‘Just as I’d got up there, Mrs
Clark burst out of the classroom and found us.’

‘That’s right!’ Danny gasps.
‘I thought we were definitely going to get
suspended!’

‘Me too!’ I giggle. ‘But when
you told her I was trying to rescue a cat she just went majorly
gooey instead.’

‘She was crazy about cats.’ Danny
laughs. ‘I still can’t believe she called the fire
brigade.’

‘
I
can’t believe they spent a
whole hour searching for a cat that didn’t even
exist
!’

‘Wow.’ Danny wipes tears of laughter
from his eyes. ‘That feels like a lifetime ago!’

‘It feels like last week to me.’
Well, actually, it was . . .

‘A lot’s happened since
then.’

‘No kidding!’ I snort.
‘Who’d ever have guessed then that we’d end up
getting
married
?’

‘Or divorced,’ he adds quietly.

My shoulders sag. ‘And now . . . now
you’re moving to the other side of the world and I’ll
never see you again.’ Tears prickle my eyes.

‘Hey,’ Danny says gently, passing me
a napkin, ‘this isn’t like you. Where’s the
Sharon who always keeps it together? The Sharon who’s
always in control of her emotions?’

‘I don’t know,’ I admit
miserably, dabbing my eyes.
And I don’t know if
she’s ever coming back.

He sighs. ‘Is this about Lucy? Because, you
know, nothing’s decided yet.’

‘It’s not just about Lucy,
doofus.’ I toss the scrunched-up napkin at him.
‘It’s about you too. I’ll miss you.’ I
sniff. ‘I miss you now.’

It’s true. I miss twelve-year-old Danny so
much it hurts. I miss all my friends and my family. I miss my
life.

‘I miss you too.’

I look up. ‘You do?’

‘Of course I do,
doofus
.’ He
throws the napkin back at me. ‘You’ve been a huge
part of my life for, well, a huge part of my life. It’s
weird not seeing you every day.’

I nod. ‘Majorly weird.’

‘I like the new hair by the way.’ He
grins. ‘It suits you.’

‘Thanks.’ I smile.

‘You look . . . younger.’

‘I  feel  younger!’ 
I  laugh.  Like, 
thirty-odd  years
younger!

‘So . . . ?’ He presses me.
‘What’s prompted this big change?’

‘Umm . . .’ I panic. WHAT DO I TELL
HIM?

He winks. ‘As if I didn’t
know!’

I freeze. Wait, he
knows
? Has he figured
it out?! He was, like,
married
to Sharon for ages, so of
course he’s bound to notice I’m different! How did we
ever
think we could fool him? THIS WAS SUCH A BAD
IDEA!

I feel my cheeks growing hot. ‘Danny,
I—’

‘You’re blushing!’ He laughs.
‘Don’t worry – love makes us all act a little
crazy, eh?’

My jaw drops.
LOVE?
Wait, does Danny think
I – Sharon, I mean – still
loves
him?

Suddenly  strange  music 
fills  the  air. 
What    is
happening?

‘Sorry.’ Danny pulls his mobile from
his pocket and his brow furrows. ‘It’s
Lucy.’

Lucy?

‘Sweetheart? Are you OK?’ Danny
stands up, suddenly agitated. ‘Lucy, slow down. Which
hospital?’

‘Hospital?’ I panic. Holy guacamole!
What’s happened?

‘Stay calm, everything’s going to be
fine. We’re on our way.’ Danny turns to me, his face
pale. ‘Ingrid’s collapsed.’

OMGA! What’s Lucy
done
?

What have I done? This is all my fault! I
can’t believe I nearly killed Ingrid! I can’t believe
I had to inject her with an EpiPen! I can’t believe
she’s lying in a hospital bed because of me!

‘Lucy!’

I turn to see Dad racing down the hospital corridor with
Shazza.

‘Dad!’ I run into his arms. ‘Thank goodness!
She’s in here.’

‘Danny!’ Ingrid wails as we all rush into the
room. ‘At last!’

‘Ingrid!’ Dad’s eyes widen. The
swelling’s mostly gone down, but her face is still pretty
puffy. ‘Sweetheart, are you all right?’

‘No, I –
Keep her away from me!
’
Ingrid suddenly screams, pointing at me.

I freeze.

‘What?’ Dad blinks, then glances at me.
‘Why?’

‘Why?
Why?!
’ Ingrid glares at him as if
it’s obvious. ‘Danny, she’s out to get
me!’

Dad stares at her. ‘Ingrid, sweetie, that’s
ridiculous!’

‘No, it’s not!’ she screeches. ‘Lucy
obviously doesn’t want you to move to Australia, so
she’s trying to get rid of me – she’s been
tormenting me all night! She booked all my treatments at the spa,
and they were
horrible
!’

My jaw drops.

‘First she booked me in for a really painful
massage—’

‘A massage?’ Shazza snorts. ‘How
terrible
.’

‘You said you loved it!’ I protest.

‘Only because I didn’t want you to feel
bad!’ Ingrid scowls. ‘I did the same with the
freaking snail facial!’

Dad’s eyebrows shoot up. ‘
Snail
facial?’

Shazza winks and flashes me a thumbs-up.

‘Exactly! Hideous, horrible, slithering slimy snails all
over my freaking face!’ Ingrid shudders. ‘I can still
feel them now!’

I bite my lip.

‘And then –
then –
’ she glares
at me accusingly – ‘she booked me in for a
bee-venom
facial!’

‘But I didn’t know about your allergy!’ I
insist, suddenly worrying that she might try to have me arrested
for ATTEMPTED MURDER!

‘Didn’t you?’ Ingrid narrows her eyes.
‘Because it seems a pretty huge coincidence to
me.’

‘Dad, I didn’t, I swear!’ I protest.

‘Of course you didn’t. Ingrid, you can’t
possibly think Lucy wanted to
kill
you?’ he cries.
‘That’s crazy!’

‘Crazy?’ Ingrid’s eyes bulge.
‘You’re calling
me
crazy?’

‘No, I just . . . I think you’ve had a shock and
you might not be thinking clearly.’ He kisses her forehead.
‘Lucy’s the one who saved you, after all!’

‘Only after she – oh my God, have you been
drinking?’ Her nose wrinkles.

Dad steps backwards. ‘Only a drop.’

‘Danny, you
know
you’re not meant to
drink!’ Ingrid shrieks.

Shazza and I exchange glances.

‘How much have you had?’

‘Holy guacamole! Only two glasses of wine!’ Shazza
rolls her eyes. ‘He is a grown-up, you know? And it was
with pizza, so that’ll have soaked most of it up. Chill
out, dude.’

‘
Pizza?
’ Ingrid gasps. ‘You had pizza
too? Danny, you know you’re not allowed!’

Not allowed?
OMG! As guilty as I feel for landing
Ingrid in hospital, Dad is gonna be SO much better off without
her. #ControlFreak

‘Ingrid, calm down,’ Dad soothes.
‘It’s no big deal.’

‘
No big deal
?’ she exclaims. ‘You
have a
heart problem
!’

‘
What?
’ I stare at him. ‘Dad! Why
didn’t you tell me?’

‘Because I didn’t want you to worry,
sweetheart,’ he says. ‘Besides, it’s not
serious. I just need to watch my cholesterol a bit, that’s
all.’

‘Which is why I’ve been so careful with your
meals!’ Ingrid snaps. ‘But what’s the point, if
as soon as my back’s turned, you go drinking wine and
eating
pizza
?’

Dad sighs. ‘Ingrid, look—’

‘Excuse me!’ A nurse walks in. ‘This is a
hospital. There are sick people here. Please keep it down, or
I’ll have to ask you to leave.’

‘I’m sorry. We’ll be quieter,’ Dad
says.

‘No. Leave!’ Ingrid demands.

‘Sweetheart—’

‘Don’t “
Sweetheart
” me!’
She glares at him. ‘I nearly died tonight because of
YOUR
daughter, and then you get here reeking of booze and
tell me
I’m
crazy? I don’t want you here. I
don’t want you at my flat when I get home. And . . . and I
don’t want you to come to Australia!’

‘What?’ Dad gasps. ‘Ingrid!’

‘Goodnight, Danny!’ She turns away.

‘No – Ingrid!’

‘Sir, I’m sorry, you’ll have to go,’
the nurse says firmly, ushering us away. ‘Give her some
space, let her calm down. She’s been through quite an
ordeal.’

Dad hesitates, then reluctantly leaves with Shazza and me.

We did it.

We might’ve actually stopped Dad moving to
Australia.

I look at Shazza . . . but neither of us is smiling.

‘Are you sure you’re OK with
Dad staying over?’ Lucy asks as she climbs into bed.

‘Course. After all, it’s our fault he
can’t go back to Ingrid’s flat,’ I say, sinking
on to the duvet miserably.

‘I feel terrible,’ Lucy groans.
‘I mean, I know the whole point of Operation Break-Up was
to split Dad and Ingrid up, but . . . I feel kinda sick
now.’

‘Me too.’ I nod. ‘I know she,
like, broke up my marriage, but apart from that, Ingrid actually
seems, well, OK.’

Lucy sighs. ‘I always thought she was
really bossy and controlling – I didn’t realize she
was just worried about Dad’s health. I can’t believe
he didn’t tell me about his heart problem.’

‘I can’t believe she pretended to
like
a snail facial!’ I wince.

‘I can’t believe we
booked
her
a snail facial! You should’ve seen it. It was horrible
– all these actual live snails leaving slimy trails over
her face!’ Lucy buries her head in her pillow. ‘I
can’t believe I landed her in
hospital
! I’m
such a horrible person!’

‘No, you’re not,’ I reply,
stroking her back. ‘You didn’t know about her
allergy.’

‘No, but—’

‘And everything you did was to help cure my
amnesia,’ I soothe. ‘It’s my fault
really.’

‘Shazza, it is SO not your fault.’
Lucy sits up quickly. ‘You didn’t
choose
to
get amnesia and you didn’t
make
Dad want to move to
Australia. I only hope it’s worked. That tomorrow morning
when you wake up, you’ll have your memory back.’

I nod. ‘I hope Danny’s OK.’

There’s a knock at the door and we both
freeze.

‘Sharon?’ Danny calls. ‘Could I
possibly have another pillow?’

‘Of course – I’ll bring you
one,’ I call back.

I look at Lucy. ‘Do you think he
heard?’ I hiss.

She cringes. ‘I don’t
think
so.’

I take a deep breath. ‘Guess there’s
only one way to find out . . .’ I grab a pillow and take it
into the lounge, where Danny’s spreading a blanket on the
sofa.

‘Thanks.’ He smiles. ‘And
thanks for letting me stay over. One of the problems of moving
into your girlfriend’s flat, I suppose – when you
argue, you have nowhere to sleep.’

I hug my arms. ‘Do you think she meant it?
About you not going to Australia?’

Danny slumps on to the sofa. ‘It
doesn’t really matter. I can’t go to Australia
anyway.’

‘What? Why not?’

‘Look, I don’t think for a minute
that Lucy tried to kill Ingrid . . .’

‘Of course not!’

‘But booking her a snail facial?’ He
raises an eyebrow. ‘That doesn’t exactly bode well
for a good stepmother– stepdaughter relationship, does
it?’

I shift uncomfortably.

‘If Lucy feels  that 
strongly,  if she’s  so  determined to stop
me going, then I just . . . shouldn’t go.’ Danny
shrugs. ‘She’s my daughter. Family comes
first.’ He sighs heavily. ‘I don’t know what I
was thinking. I can’t move to the other side of the world.
I can’t make her choose between you and me. It’s not
fair.’

Wow. He’s not going to Australia! I should
be over the moon!

But as Danny rubs his forehead his wrinkles seem
deeper than ever. He looks tired – and old. Older than
I’ve ever seen him. And so sad.

‘You really like her, don’t
you?’ I say quietly, sitting down beside him.

‘Yeah.’ He sighs. ‘I love
her.’

My insides tighten painfully. Love? I’ve
never heard Danny talk about love before, and it hurts. It hurts
that he loves Ingrid, that she’s not just a fling. But most
of all it hurts to know that it’s my fault they broke up
– that he’s so miserable – because of
me
.

I put my hand on his. ‘I’m so
sorry,’ I whisper, my voice cracking.

‘You’re a strange one, Sharon,’
Danny says, squeezing my hand. ‘Any other ex would be
cheering right now. You didn’t want me to go to Australia,
and you certainly didn’t want Lucy to come with me. Now
both those things are out the window, but you don’t look
happy about it.’

‘I am glad you’re not going,’ I
admit, ‘but . . .’

‘But what?’

‘How could I possibly be happy when
you’re so sad?’

He pulls me into a hug I don’t deserve and
I feel like crying. All this time Lucy and I have been putting
Sharon’s happiness first, made getting her back our top
priority, but what about Danny? Doesn’t he deserve to be
happy too?

‘You’re such a good friend,’ he
says. ‘You always have been.’

I screw my eyes shut. If only he knew the
truth!