Ms. Beard Is Weird! (5 page)
Oh, I forgot to tell you something.
After
The Real Teachers of Ella Mentry School
was on TV, we were all celebrities. Big sacks full of fan mail started arriving at my house. Reporters wanted to interview me. People began asking me for autographs. It was cool.
Well, it was cool in the
beginning
anyway. After a while it got to be annoying. Now I can barely go outside without being chased down the street by my fans.
You don't believe me? Watch this. I'm going to step outside for a minute.
“Look! It's him!”
“It's A.J. from
The Real Teachers of Ella Mentry School
!”
“I love him!”
Uh-oh. This was a big mistake.
“Can I have your autograph, A.J.?”
“He's cuter than Justin Bieber!”
“A.J., I want to marry you!”
“I want a lock of his hair!”
“Get him!”
Oh no! I've got to make a run for it!
They're chasing me down the street like wild dogs!
I'm out of breath.
What's that noise?
It's up in the sky!
It sounds like . . . oh
no
!
There's a helicopter following me!
It's from the TV news!
They're pointing big searchlights at me!
It's getting lower!
What am I gonna do?
Help! The helicopter is landing on my
head
!
About the Author and Illustrator
Dan Gutman
has written many weird books for kids. He lives in New Jersey (a very weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. You can visit him on his weird website at www.dangutman.com.
Â
Jim Paillot
lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn't that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at www.jimpaillot.com.
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My Weirder School #5: Ms. Beard Is Weird!
Text copyright © 2012 by Dan Gutman
Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Jim Paillot
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-0-06-204210-1 (lib. bdg.) â ISBN 978-0-06-204209-5 (pbk.)
Epub Edition © MAY 2012 ISBN: 9780062042118
12Â Â 13 Â Â 14Â Â 15Â Â 16Â Â Â Â CG/BR Â Â Â Â 10Â Â 9Â Â 8Â Â 7Â Â 6Â Â 5Â Â 4Â Â 3Â Â 2Â Â 1
FIRST EDITION
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1
He must save a lot of money on shampoo and hair dryers and stuff.
2
Ms. Beard calls everybody “baby.” I wonder what she calls
real
babies.
3
She should go to the doctor.
4
If she wants peace, she should stop hammering all the time.
5
Cha-cha? What kind of name is that for a dance?
6
So na-nah-nah boo-boo on you.
7
But it probably wouldn't have hurt as much as it would if there was electricity in the air.