Mr. Jaguar (4 page)

“I wasn’t. I was just…” Mike didn’t seem to know how to end his sentence so he just gestured in the air. James had no idea how people like him survived. “You’re getting off on this, aren’t you?”

“On what?” asked James, even though he knew well what Mike meant. But he would not back down from the ban on ‘Lovelace’. This nickname was a token of the past he wanted to bury under a shopping mall so huge that no one would ever dig it out.

He’d earned it after one of the pictures from his teenage porn stash somehow ended up replacing the picture of a microscope in a presentation James delivered during class. It was of a guy deep-throating a monster cock and since then, Mike would not let it rest. Now James was starting to get the idea why that was. So, instead of protecting a fellow gay man, Mike called James with the nickname derived from
Deep Throat
. Not to mention the number of jokes about cocksucking James had had to bear. It had been a nightmare.

“On having luck in life. You want me around just to feel all high and mighty. That’s fine. I can deal with that.” Mike pouted and ran his fingers through his hair.

James frowned at the road ahead. He couldn’t deny the truth in Mike’s words, but he wouldn’t be explicit about enjoying it either. “Let’s just rehearse. Try behaving like my boyfriend.”

“Sure. But… can you behave like
my
boyfriend for a minute?” Mike asked as they turned into the side road, leading to Walmart. It was on the outskirts of their hometown, and James hadn’t been here in ages, so he didn’t mind.

“That’s the idea. We both pretend.”

“Good.” Mike shifted in his seat as they drove into the parking lot. “See that guard? Park next to him,” he said and pulled out his wallet.

James shrugged and drove up to the empty places close to where a middle-aged security guard was making his rounds. James knew something was up the moment the man frowned at them. He was buff, but with a slight beer belly protruding over the waistband of his pants.

“Hi, Dad,” Mike spoke and leaned over James to look at the guard. “How’s it going? We’d be glad if you paid extra attention to our car. It won’t take long.”

James felt a rush of heat to his face.
What
? What was this? He looked between Mike and the stern face of the guard. Was this really Mike’s father? What was going on?

“What the hell is this, Mike?” The guard spoke with a frown as deep as the Grand Canyon.

“I just thought I’d come over and let you meet my boyfriend. We’re going to Vegas later on, so I won’t be around.” Before James knew what was happening, Mike leaned down and kissed him. Hard. Mike’s lips were slightly dry, but oh so hot and soft. He tasted of minty chewing gum and beer. James heard a ringing in his ears, and for a moment, he was somewhere else altogether, looking into a sky full of shooting stars.

When the kiss ended, he found himself clutching Mike’s belt, and quickly pulled the hand back, gasping for air. Mike left him so lightheaded. James didn’t know whether he should drive away or stay here.

“Get out,” Mike’s dad said in a cool voice. “You’re a disgrace.”

“What?” Mike cocked his head to the side, chewing that minty gum loudly. “I need to park my Jag somewhere, you know,” he said and unbuckled James’s seat belt. This was madness.

“Mike, don’t provoke him. What if he damages the car?” whispered James as he opened the door on his side. What was wrong with this guy? Why was he making enemies at every corner?

“He won’t, there’s cameras.”

James frowned but didn’t comment on it. “If you just wanted a drink, we could have grabbed something at a gas station.”

“I want something special.” Mike got out of the car and paced over to James’s side to… open the door for him, with his father still looking on. Now it was getting surreal.

“Er— thanks,” uttered James, praying he wouldn’t stumble or hit his head on the way out. His chest was so tight he had to fight for air. It felt nice to have someone be so gallant toward him.

“You wanna get something too?” Mike asked and put his thick, firm arm over James’s shoulders. It was unbelievable that Mike Miller would be doing this in his home town. James had definitely missed some memo.

The arm was draped over him like a heavy cloak that made him more handsome, more desirable. His gaze darted lower, to Mike’s bare torso, and he took a shivery breath. It had been too fucking long since a man did that to him. That was why he was getting all fidgety like some teenage virgin. But Mike’s smell was now so intense, so close, evaporating in the sun and clinging to James’s skin.

“Maybe.”

“Cool.” Mike led them inside, completely ignoring the frown on his father’s face. James went cold when Mike slipped a note into the man’s chest pocket, but nothing happened.

“Hey Donna, how’s it going?” Mike asked a woman who put her hands over her daughter’s eyes as soon as she saw them.

“What are you doing?” asked James, trying not to look around too much. The stares he could feel on his skin were making him too self-conscious. Like when his secret passion had been revealed in the dark classroom all those years ago.

“Chill out. You’re so hot. Everyone’s just fuckin’ jealous. I’m giving this town one last ‘fuck you’,” Mike said as they got to the liquor aisle.

“Just… relax. Please, don’t throw anything at anybody. I can’t be arrested tonight.” James inhaled and slowly raised his hand to touch the palm resting on his shoulder. That was what he used to do with his first boyfriend back in college. He loved playing with thick, manly fingers.

“I’m cool, sweetie. No throwing stuff, got it.” Mike leaned down and kissed him again. James was thanking all deities ever conceived that the place wasn’t packed. He only heard some people gasp from the side, like a choir of bigotry.

“The fuck are you doing?” hissed someone, and James’s head jerked up like a bobble-headed dog’s. His eyes darted straight to a blond man in the store uniform. His chest was moving the crate of wine he was holding. Oh, no. Was this another person Mike wanted to show the middle finger to?

“I’m celebrating an anniversary with my boyfriend, show me your most expensive wine,” Mike commanded as if he were the king of Walmart.

“You’re so messed up, Mike,” the blond groaned and put down the crate. His fingers squeezed into fists.

James swallowed hard. He could play this game too. “Red, if you please,” he said, for once looking straight into the guy’s eyes. If he chose to attack James, Mike would surely come to the rescue, like a good pretend-boyfriend.

Now the man sneered at James as well.

“You heard my fiancé.” Mike gestured at the guy. “Chop, chop.”

The blond shook his head, but did actually reach to a top shelf. “Did you rob the food stamp bank or something?”

“I can’t see how this is your business,” said James, leaning into the warmth of Mike’s body. He missed being close to someone else like that.

“Exactly.” Mike nodded and hugged James tightly. “But if you want to know, I’m paying cash.” He pulled out his wallet and waved it at the man. “Just like I did for my new Jaguar.”

James chuckled and covered his mouth not to sound too loud. He didn’t know whether it was the stress of being a part of this scheme, or whether it really was that funny. “You sound like you’re trading in drugs.”

“What the hell is going on with you? Not enough to be a fag, now you gotta be a drug dealer as well?” The guy passed Mike three bottles of red wine, his face only one shade lighter than the alcohol.

“My boyfriend’s just kidding.” Mike gently poked James with a bottle. “He’s such a funny guy. And has a great ass as well. Has your wife ever agreed to anal? You should try it.”

James felt his knees go soft, all his senses telling him it was high time to turn around, get into the Jag and drive cross-country to never ever meet any of the people who could possibly hear this. He pinched Mike’s finger. Hard.
Classy, my ass… wait, that didn’t come out right. Fuck.
James looked at the floor and followed the directions of his therapist. He was on a sunny beach, and all he could hear was the breeze and seagull screams.

“Shut your fucking face or I’ll tell our dad all about this, and you’ll be sorry,” the guy said.

“You think I care? The old man can go fuck himself.” Mike hugged both the bottles and James closer. “I’m going to Vegas.”

“Good. Just where a freak show like you belongs,” the man snarled.

Even with the wine in hand, Mike managed to show his brother the middle finger. “Enjoy your life without anal, Kevin.” Mike turned around and pulled James along to the registers.

No seagull would be enough to protect James’s mind from that. He let out a shuddery breath. “If you use this word in public ever again, I am going to kill you. I’m gonna tell my birds to chop you to pieces.”

Mike looked to him and pushed his sunglasses up to his forehead. “Which one? ‘Fuck’?”

James stared at him, for a moment unable to voice his thoughts. “‘Anal’, you idiot. I don’t want anyone to think about my ass that way… I mean… not straight people,” he added after a moment of hesitation.

“You don’t like anal?” Mike frowned. “That’s too bad.”

“I do, but that’s not the point!” hissed James, simmering in his own shame. “I don’t want you to talk about it to… people.”

“I’ll be like a Disney princess, talking about your ass only to animals.” Mike grinned as they approached the registers. “Can I do you later?”

James drowned in the thick mixture of embarrassment and excitement. It rushed through his body like a river after breaking the floodgates. He didn’t know what to say. He had no idea what he was even thinking. His life was spiraling into madness.

“I bought you wine after all.” Mike winked at him and put the bottles in front of the cashier. He let go of James, who wasn’t even sure if Mike was serious anymore. Should he just play along? He wasn’t all that sure if he could keep up with that filthy mouth. He stepped past the registers and looked through the window, to his car, which was now shinier than ever. He had to admit Mike did a good job.

As soon as Mike had spent almost all of the money he’d earned jerking off, he put that big, hot hand on James’s hip and gently nudged him to the door. James wasn’t the type of guy who hooked up with random hot guys, but the gesture still made him feel all melty inside. Would they actually do
it
? He wasn’t sure it was a good idea. What if Mike just wanted him for the money? He did seem awfully happy to show off and spend it all.

“Whoa, that’s some chill I’m getting,” Mike muttered and pulled his hand away when they got to the car.

“What?” James blinked and looked at him, stuffing his hands down his pockets. Within a single hour, he’d fallen into an alternative universe. That was the only plausible explanation for what was happening to him. At least Mike’s dad was nowhere to be seen.

“I don’t even deserve an answer, just a sneer?” Mike sighed and got into the passenger seat as soon as James opened the car.

“What are you talking about?” James sat down next to him. “It’s you who was talking about my ass in public.” He looked the other way.

“But then I asked you when we were alone again.”

James clasped his hands together, his whole body stiffening, but the skin of his buttocks seemed a lot more sensitive than usual. What sorcery was this? “I… thought you were joking.”

“I haven’t done anal since senior year when I did Tiffany Jordan, of course I wasn’t joking.”

James groaned. He did
not
want that mental image. His mind suddenly went numb, and he raised his head to look at Mike. Could that mean he, James the sex-deprived nerd was far more experienced than Mike the hot mechanic? “What?”

“You’re really making me work for it, aren’t you? Let’s go.” Mike sighed and put his top back on.

“I just… don’t get it. You seem so eager… what do you mean that was the last time?”

Mike went silent for once and just watched James as he started the car. From the corner of his eye, James saw Mike giving the finger to the man in the uniform, who just had to be his dad. He chose to ignore it.

“You’re all hot and gay. Why wouldn’t I be eager? I’m your boyfriend after all,” Mike muttered with less energy than before.

James drove toward the highway on the other side of the retail park. He would never trust GPS again. Then again, it was thanks to GPS that he met his date for the conference, so maybe the weekend wouldn’t be all that bad. He hoped so.

“But… you’re hot and gay, too. No boyfriends?” He glanced at Mike’s handsome profile.

Mike shrugged. “Where? At Vega’s Gas & Motel? I went to a gay bar in Austin once. I got a blowjob.”

James had to force his jaw shut. This was
not
happening. No way in the hell. “No… hookups? Nothing?” he asked, unable to control his shock. This was so… sad.

“I only came out three years ago.” Mike opened one of the wine bottles. “You know our town. Not much opportunity there. You know that gay radar thing? Mine must be defective.”

“Internet?” whispered James and quickly took the turn. He’d almost missed their exit.

“Man, stop nagging me. I don’t even have a car,” Mike grumbled and took a swig of wine, straight from the bottle.

“Sorry, it’s just… you’re so hot,” whispered James, intent on reaching the hotel as quickly as possible, though it would still take at least an hour.

“I’m just one hot fish in a sea of plenty,” Mike repeated the words James had said to him earlier that day. He leaned against the door and took his shades off, and looked everywhere but at James.

****

Chapter 3

The ride passed mostly in awkward silence, with James talking about random stuff once in a while. At least he explained how he’d become a proud owner of a high-class sports car. Mike didn’t understand all the technical details but it turned out that James, who now was an engineer, was the inventor of a portable laboratory machine. It was small, relatively cheap, and was gaining popularity in medical centers in small communities. Mike
was
impressed, but the strange atmosphere didn’t disperse even as they pulled into a parking lot by a shopping mall only ten minutes away from their destination. James’s comments on how weird it was that Mike didn’t have hookups made Mike all sorts of uncomfortable. So he didn’t. So what? It didn’t mean he didn’t want to. It just never worked out for him. Now, he not only felt like a failure at being straight, but a failure at being gay as well. Not to mention he was kinda queasy about giving blowjobs, even in his imagination, which probably made him an epic failure at being gay. He bet super-gay James gave mean head, that he knew how to deep-throat and shit.