Moving On (19 page)

They travelled most of the way to Wiltshire in silence, preoccupied with their own thoughts.

Jenny had never thought of herself as being superstitious but now she did wonder if, as seemed probable, they had to delay the ceremony yet again, this was some sort of warning that she was doing the wrong thing in contemplating marrying Tom.

She studied his profile. He was concentrating on his driving and his jaw was set in a firm, dominant line, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. He looked so determined that it was obvious that he was not a man to be trifled with and she began to wonder if she was foolish to be marrying a man who was such a strong character.

She had been independent for so many years that she would probably find that having to compel herself to consider someone else’s opinion in everything she did for the rest of her life very restraining.

That was all nonsense she told herself; they thought about most things in the same way as each other; there was very little they disagreed about. When they did they always seemed to manage to reach a compromise.

Would that always be the case? Would there be a subtle change in their relationship when they were man and wife and living together or was she being unduly pessimistic?

At the moment they spent a considerable amount of time in their own apartments. She still felt free and independent and under no obligation to accept any of his views. Would it be different when they were married?

It was thirty-six years since William had died and, although she had lived with Eddy until eight years ago, because he was her son she had never felt restricted in the least by his opinions.

Subjugating herself to another person’s ideas and way of doing things was going to be a learning curve that she wasn’t sure she could swallow.

Tom was so quiet that she wondered if he was having similar misgivings. He had no family at all so he, too, had been free to make his own decisions and live as he wanted to do for a very long time. His wife, so he had told her, had died almost twenty years ago and she had been an invalid and in a nursing home for ten years before that. It had made him extremely self-sufficient; he did all his own shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing.

So what was the attraction that had drawn them together, Jenny wondered. Although they were both touching seventy neither of them was really lonely or looking for companionship. Was it because they had similar tastes; or was it some cosmic magnetism that they were unable to define, influence or even control.

‘We’ve made very good time,’ Tom commented, breaking their long silence as they crossed over the border into Wiltshire. ‘I wonder what is the best thing for us to do? Should we simply drive to their home or would it be best to try and contact Bill by phone and find out if he is there or at the hospital?’

‘Let’s go straight to their home and if Bill isn’t there then we can try the hospital,’ Jenny told him.

She settled back into her seat, smiling complacently. Tom’s mind, unlike hers, hadn’t been dwelling on whether their forthcoming marriage was right for them or not but on the more immediate problem of Karen and Bill.

That was the sort of person Tom was, she thought gratefully. He was not only kind and loving but also extremely pragmatic. Why on earth did she need to confuse the issue by asking herself unneces-sary questions about their relationship when she’d been lucky to find such a man.

Bill was at home when they arrived but on the point of leaving for the hospital. He looked worried and sounded very agitated as he greeted them.

‘Karen was taken in early this morning but they sent me away and told me to come back later in the day,’ he told them. ‘I’m on my way now to find out how she is.’

‘Right, then we’ll come with you. Do you want to take your car or mine?’ Tom asked.

‘My car because I know the way,’ Bill said immediately. ‘I’ll take your luggage upstairs and you bring your car on to the drive and lock it up and then we’ll be off; that is, if it’s OK with both of you? Would you like to freshen up or use the bathroom or anything?’ he asked, looking from one to the other of them.

‘No, let’s be on our way. The sooner we have some news the better,’ Jenny said quickly.

Ten minutes later they were in the hospital reception area waiting to hear how Karen was and whether or not they could see her.

They were asked to wait.

‘The baby is very premature and the mother is extremely tired. She may still be sleeping,’ a Sister informed them.

‘Could you please check; I am her grandmother and I have come all the way from Merseyside to see her,’ Jenny pleaded.

It was another quarter of an hour before someone came to tell them that they could see Karen for a few minutes. They were taken into a side ward where Karen lay. She looked very pale and exhausted but managed to smile weakly when she saw her visitors.

‘I’ve messed up your wedding arrangements again, Gran,’ she said with an apologetic sigh.

‘Don’t you worry about that, we can easily fix a new date when you feel up to it,’ Tom told her quickly. He looked round expectantly, ‘Where’s the baby?’

‘They’ve taken her away and put her in an incubator. I don’t think they will let you see her. Not to worry, I’ll be out in a couple of days’ time and I’m hoping she will be strong enough by then for me to bring her home with me.’

The Sister returned to tell them that it was time for them to leave, interrupting their brief visit. Jenny and Tom immediately said goodbye to Karen and withdrew into the corridor, leaving Bill to have a few moments alone with Karen.

‘It looks as though Karen is going to need your help for a couple of weeks at least,’ Tom commented as they waited for Bill.

‘I think you’re right,’ Jenny agreed.

‘You are quite happy about us staying here to be with her?’ Tom asked.

‘It means changing all our wedding plans yet again,’ Jenny warned.

‘I know that but, as I said to Karen, we can always fix new dates when she is fit again.’

Jenny felt choked. She simply nodded her agreement and squeezed his hand.

‘We’ll take Bill for a meal and afterwards we’ll let him know that is what we are planning to do,’ Tom said as they waited for Bill to join them.

Tom was as good as his word. He kept up a light conversation throughout their meal but afterwards in the car going back to Bill’s he assured Bill that they would both be staying to help look after Karen and the baby for as long as it was necessary for them to do so.

The discussion about the preparations they had made for the baby and what still had to be done continued well into the evening until Jenny said that she was so tired she would be falling asleep in the armchair if she didn’t get to bed.

‘I’m sorry,’ Bill told her. ‘I’ve been going over all the possibilities in my head ever since Karen was rushed into hospital and I am afraid I’ve taken advantage of you being here and talked my head off about it all. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know that you’ll both be here when Karen comes home.’

‘Well, I will have to nip back to Wallasey for a couple of days to cancel all the arrangements we have made for our wedding. I’ll go first thing tomorrow but Jenny can stay here and help you get things ready for Karen coming home. I will be back down again as soon as I’ve sorted everything out up there,’ Tom assured him.

‘That sounds fine,’ Bill agreed as they all stood up ready to go to bed.

Leaving the two men to tidy up downstairs, Jenny went on up to the spare bedroom. She was so tired that it wasn’t until she had undressed and was stretched out under the duvet that she realized she would be sharing the bed with Tom.

Jenny remembered the protestations she had made about this the last time they had visited Karen but now somehow, it didn’t seem to matter; in fact, it seemed right.

She stretched, sleepily aware that she was looking forward to the idea that Tom would soon be there in the bed beside her; it was so comforting to know that she would be sleeping in his arms.

A week later Karen and the baby came home. She still looked pale and seemed nervous and ill at ease as she handled the baby. They hadn’t yet decided on a name; Bill called her Beauty and Karen still referred to her as Baby.

At first they were all talking in whispers, tiptoeing around and shushing each other for fear of disturbing the sleeping scrap.

‘This is nonsense,’ Tom said with a laugh. ‘We can’t spend the rest of our lives like this. Keep the noise level low but surely we don’t need to pussyfoot around like we are doing at the moment?’

‘She’s so very small,’ Bill protested as he gently eased back the shawl from the tiny face it was half covering. ‘She looks as though a puff of wind would blow her away.’

‘You won’t be saying that in a couple of months’ time when she is bawling her head off in the middle of the night,’ Tom said with a laugh.

Jenny was mildly surprised at how quickly her own skills in babycare returned. She was far more confident and adept at handling the new baby than Karen was. Privately, she thought she even enjoyed bathing and feeding the tiny scrap more than Karen did.

As the days passed Jenny was fully rewarded by seeing the new baby thrive. By the time she and Tom had decided to return to Wallasey, little Angela, as they had decided to call her, looked well and healthy and was feeding and sleeping without any problems.

Karen, too, had the colour back in her cheeks, her energy was once again at its peak and she had taken over complete control of looking after little Angela.

‘I don’t know how I would have managed without you, Gran,’ she told Jenny gratefully as she kissed her goodbye.

It was the Tuesday after Easter and both Tom and Jenny had decided it was time for them to return to Merseyside Mansions.

‘It’s great being here but it will be good to be back in a child-free zone again,’ Tom admitted. ‘Everything seems to revolve around the baby’s needs and routine.’

‘They’re besotted by her aren’t they,’ Jenny said happily. ‘I think that the fact that she was premature has a great deal to do with it. Now she’s as fit as any full-term baby. She’s probably even healthier than most of them because she’s been so protected ever since she was born.’

‘Well, Karen and Bill will have a few weeks together before it’s time for him to go back to school and by then Karen should be able to cope single-handed. If not, then she can always phone and let you know and I imagine you’ll come running back.’

‘I’m not too sure about that,’ Jenny said in a thoughtful voice. ‘You have been wonderful and I couldn’t have done it without your help, but now I think it is time for us to attend to our own needs and happiness and for me to put you first.’

‘You mean time to fix a new date for our wedding plans.’

‘If that is what you still want,’ Jenny agreed.

‘Don’t you?’

‘Yes, but I’m not nearly so worried about it now as I was a few months ago. I’ll be quite happy to simply live with you.’

‘Heavens above woman, I never thought to hear you say those sort of things,’ Tom said in a shocked voice.

Jenny bit her lip, wondering if she had upset him, or made him see her in a new light. The last few weeks had been trying for both of them and had put a strain on their relationship.

It was hardly fair on Tom to be expected to take on responsi-bilities concerning Karen, she thought uneasily.

‘In fact, I thought you were so concerned about Karen and her welfare that you hadn’t noticed that we’ve been sharing a bed together for the last few weeks, which is why I’ve not commented on it,’ Tom said drily.

‘Oh yes, I had noticed,’ Jenny told him. She wanted to say more, to tell him how comforting she had found it to sleep with his arm around her, as if protecting her from the world and all its worries. It had seemed so right that she knew she was going to miss their closeness when life returned to normal once again.

If only she could be sure that he felt the same and could tell her that he needed her as much as she now knew she needed him.

‘I suppose it’s back to separate apartments when we reach Merseyside Mansions,’ he said, almost as if voicing her thoughts aloud.

‘If that’s what you want,’ Jenny said quietly and held her breath waiting for his reply.

When Tom didn’t answer, Jenny felt a moment of panic. As she shot a sideways glance at him she saw his shoulders were shaking and his lips were tightly clenched and as their eyes met he exploded with laughter.

For a moment she felt irritated and close to tears. She had found looking after Karen and her new baby much more stressful than she had expected and now she felt completely exhausted.

Tom was quick to sense her mood. ‘Sorry,’ he said, grinning. ‘How could you ever for a moment have had any doubts. Of course I want us to be together, night and day, and I do want us to be married because I realize that in your heart of hearts you think it is right and proper to make things legal, but there is no hurry. You look as though you need a rest, a holiday even. I feel whacked myself. I had no idea that broken nights could drain you so much. Let’s put everything on hold for a couple of weeks and then start all our planning afresh.’

Although she agreed with him, Jenny found that settling back into the normal pattern at Merseyside Mansions was not as easy as she had anticipated. To her surprise she missed the baby’s cries when its feeding time approached and she also found herself missing all the work attached to looking after it.

Tom had settled back into his old routine almost at once and seemed to prefer being in his own flat rather than in hers. He seemed to be quite happy sorting out his cupboards and getting rid of things he said were either no longer needed or duplicated items she already had in her flat.

Although they had not yet decided whether to stay on at Merseyside Mansions or to buy a small house or bungalow, he seemed to be intent on spring cleaning and decorating his own place.

‘If I redecorate it right through then we can decide if we want to stay here in my flat or put it on the market. Either way it will be in good order. If we decide to stay on here then you can move your stuff in here and I can do a decorating job on your flat so that we can put that on the market.’

‘If we decide to stay on here then would you sooner we moved into your flat rather than mine?’ Jenny asked.

‘Well, it is the larger of the two,’ he pointed out. ‘Things would be rather cramped in your flat when Bill and Karen and the baby come to stay, whereas in mine we do have the spare bedroom.’

‘I wonder if they will want to come and stay though?’ Jenny mused.

‘You bet they will. Remember Bill gets quite long holidays, and they won’t be able to afford to spend months at a time in hotels, so if they fancy a cheap seaside holiday then where would be better than here?’

Although Jenny knew quite well that what Tom was saying made sense, she felt reluctant to give up her cosy flat. For one thing, she had only to go a short distance to be out in the garden, whereas Tom had to walk along a passage and either take the lift or two flights of stairs to get outside the building.

Perhaps, she mused, it would be better to move away; to find a house or bungalow. One of the joys of being at Karen’s house had been the sense of freedom it gave her to be able to open the kitchen door and step out into the garden; to be able to hang washing out of doors and wander through the garden whenever she felt the urge to do so, just as she had when she’d lived at Warren Point.

She didn’t have to make up her mind right away, she told herself. In fact, they could even leave making a decision until after they were married. They had a roof over their heads, two in fact, so why not wait until they were both sure about what they wanted.

At present she was finding the gossip and unimportant chatter that went on at Merseyside Mansions extremely tedious and irritating. But Tom merely shrugged their fellow residents’ remarks off or completely ignored them.

‘You’d probably find the isolation and lack of friendly faces even more difficult to contend with if we moved away,’ he warned, and she wondered if he was right.

She was also well aware that there were other things to be considered. At present they had no worries about outside decorating or maintenance. Even the garden was attended to without them having to make a decision about it.