“So why you break up with my Renie?” he asked.
Del Ray glanced at him but said nothing.
“Or did she break up with you?” Joseph smirked. “You didn't have all them nice suits and such in those days.”
“And I don't have them anymore.” Del Ray looked down at his wrinkled trousers, dark at the knees with dust and smeared mud. He drove in silence for a few moments more. “I broke up with her. I left her.” He gave Joseph a brief look of irritation. “What do you care? You never liked me.”
Joseph nodded, still in a good mood. “No, you are right.”
Del Ray seemed about to say something unpleasant, but paused. When he spoke, it was as if he were talking to someone else, a third passenger who might actually be sympathetic. “I don't really know why we broke up. I mean, it seemed like the right thing to do. I think . . . I just . . . I was too young to have a family, get into all that.”
“What are you talking about?” Joseph squinted at him. “She didn't want no family. She wanted to study all that university foolishness.”
“She had a child, or just as good as. I didn't want to be a father.”
“Child?” Joseph rose higher in his seat. “What are you talking about? My Renie didn't have no child!” But a panicky voice inside him asked,
Did you miss that, too? How much went past after her mama died, while you were trying to drink yourself to sleep every day?
“You ought to know,” Del Ray said. “I'm talking about your son, Stephen. Renie's brother.”
“What foolishness is this?”
“Renie might as well be his mother is what I'm saying. You weren't there most of the time. She raised him just like he was her own child. That's what I wasn't ready for, I supposeâhaving a little boy of my own while I was still just a boy myself. It scared me.”
Joseph let himself relax. “Oh, Stephen. You just talking about Stephen.”
“Yes.” Del Ray's voice was full of sarcasm. “Just Stephen.”
Joseph watched the hills slide past, the suburbs of Durban as strange to him as another continent, full of lives he could only imagine. It was true, Renie had tried to step in when Stephen's mother had died. Well, that was a woman's nature, wasn't it? It wasn't Joseph's fault. He had to earn a living, make sure they both had food to eat. And when he couldn't work anymoreâwell, that wasn't his fault either, was it?
A vision of Stephen in his hospital bed, the blurred shape beneath the plastic tent, made Joseph flinch. He leaned forward to fiddle meaninglessly with the music controls. He did not want to believe it was the same Stephen as the little boy who had climbed up the tree in Port Elizabeth that one time and then refused to come down until he found a monkey nest. It was easier to think of them as two separate peopleâthe real Stephen and the terrible fraud in the bed, curled up like a dead insect.
When his wife Miriam had been lying in the burn ward, the light slowly fading from her eyes, he had wished that there were some way he could go down after her, follow her into death and then carry her back out to the world again. He had thought he would do anything, risk anything, suffer any pain to find her and bring her back. But there was nothing he could do, and that had been a far worse pain than anything he could have imagined. Drink? If the ocean had been wine, he would have drunk it down from shore to shore to make the hurting stop.
But wasn't that what Renie was doing? Going after Stephen, no matter how little hope there was, trying to find him and bring him back from death?
For a moment, as they moved out from behind a truck to change lanes, the afternoon sun stabbed through the windshield into Joseph's eyes, dazzling him. To think that there was so much love in her, growing on sorrow like a green vine curling up out of the ruin of a dead tree. It was as though the terrible secret of how Joseph had felt while Renie's mother lay dying had jumped from him to his daughter without words. It was a mystery, a great and terrible mystery.
He was silent for a long time, and Del Ray seemed to like it that way. The music played on, lively, bouncing rhythms, something to chase away care. Durban vanished into the late-afternoon gloom behind them.
Â
T
HEY waited only two minutes after Gilbert's ancient sedan had pulled away from the warehouse building before spilling out of the black van. The three men, two black, one white, moved quickly. One pushed a card into the front door slot, overriding the palmreader. They filed silently up the stairs. It took them only a few moments to find the door of Elephant's rented space.
One of the black men slapped an adhesion-cup of shaped hammer gel onto the door just above the handle, then all three stepped back. The contained explosion shattered the bolt and fried the door's internal electronics, but they still had to slam against it two times before it popped open.
Elephant had a spike into the warehouse's security cameradrones, which had given him almost a minute's headstart, plenty of time to dump his system memory (the resident memory only, since he had backups scattered on various nodes under various coded designations) and replace it with a carefully-constructed and legally irreproachable subsitute. When the three men smashed through the door he was sitting with his hands held up in plain sight, a look of injured innocence on his round face.
All of which would have been fine if the trio had been a UNComm flying squad, as Elephant had expected. But Klekker and Associates had a much different agenda than UNComm, andâ unfortunately for Elephantâa very different
modus operandi
as well.
They had already crushed two of his fingers before he even had a chance to tell them how willing he was to share whatever information they wanted about his earlier guests. He could tell these men were not the types to bargain, so he did not try to make a deal, but admitted that the information Del Ray Chiume and his friend had wanted was available to anyone with the skills to find it. Maps of the Drakensberg and information about an abandoned military base called “Wasp's Nest” was all he had given Chiume and the old man. It had been dumped out with the system memory, but Elephant hurried to assure the new arrivals he would be happy to find it again.
Klekker and Associates had made one mistake already, assuming that an old woman named Susan Van Bleeck was not going to survive the attack on her house. She had, at least temporarily, and that was an error they would not make twice.
Two small-caliber bullet wounds in the back of the skull did not make for much bleeding, but the red puddle was still slowly growing on the desktop beneath Elephant's head when the three men had gathered up the last of the things they wanted. One of them paused at the doorway to toss a small dispersive incendiary back into the cluttered room, then they went down the stairs, moving swiftly but without obvious haste.
The van was half a kilometer away before the building's fire alarms went off.
CHAPTER 21
The Spire Forest
NETFEED/ART: Artistic Suicide Challenge
(visual: Bigger X at Toronto arraignment)
VO: A guerrilla artist known only as No-1 has challenged the better-known forced involvement artist Bigger X to a suicide competition. No-1's broadside against Bigger X, which calls him a “poseur” because “he only works with other people's deaths,” suggests a suicide competition between the two artists, to be broadcast live by
“artOWNartWONartNOW.” The one with the most artistically interesting suicide would be judged the winner, even though he or she would not be around to collect the prize. Bigger X, who is wanted by the police for questioning in a Philadelphia bombing, has not been available for comment, but ZZZCrax of
“artOWNartWONartNOW” called it “an intriguing story.”
“W
E have a short time left before the sun rises,” said Brother Factum Quintus. “Renie, Florimelâperhaps you would accompany me?” He gestured to the stairs.
Renie looked at T4b, busy comforting Emily, who had been stumbling like a sleepwalker since their encounter with the Lady of the Windows hours ago. The pair were seated on a dusty, threadbare couch which looked like it might collapse under the weight of T4b's armored form at any moment, but otherwise the small tower room seemed safe enough. “You two stay here, will you?”
“We will not go far from them,” the monk reassured her. “It is only a small distance. But if we do not want ourselves revealed to watching eyes, we should go before the sun rises.”
!Xabbu hesitated only a moment, then joined the small procession as they mounted the stairs; Renie knew he was restraining himself, since in his baboon form he could have climbed much faster.
“This tower is on the edge of what is called the Spire Forest,” Factum Quintus said. “A very fascinating part of the House.” He was breathing a little heavily, but otherwise had weathered being kidnapped by bandits and the unexpected appearance of a religious revelation far better than Renie and her supposedly more hardened comrades. The monk had an almost childlike quality of being interested in everything, even the dreadful and the dangerousâa good trait in many ways, but Renie could not help worrying about his safety.
Oh, Jesus Mercy,
she reminded herself,
he's a bloody Puppet. Might as well start fretting about the characters in netflicks, too.
But the idea of Factum Quintus as an artificial beingânot even a living creature, but an amalgam of coded behaviorsâwas hard to hold on to when those coded behaviors were walking beside her, slightly flushed, murmuring to themselves in pleasure over a newel-post.
“Why does it matter whether it is sunrise or not?” Florimel asked.
“Because the place we are going has many windowsâand so do the other places. You will see.” The monk paused on the landing, about to say something more, when suddenly the entire universe shrugged as though trying to dislodge something crawling on its back.
Renie had time only to think,
Oh, not again . . . !
before everything went sideways.
In an instant her surroundings blurred, retreating in all directions as though she were being shrunk to the size of an atom, but at the same time they seemed to topple in on her, as though reality itself were enfolding and crushing her. For half an instant, a terrible, jagged bolt of pain passed through her, as though her nerves were the teeth of a comb being dragged along a rough brick wall. Then the pain vanished, and so did everything else.
Â
She had experienced these reality-quakes before, but never one that had gone on so long. She had been floating in darkness for a long timeâshe knew her time-sense must be distorted, but she had been able to think about many things while the darkness persisted.
I feel . . . different. Than the other times. Like I'm actually somewhere. But where?
She could feel her body, too, which was unusual. As far as she could remember, in the earlier episodes she had always been bodilessâa floating mind, a witness to a dream. But now she had the sense of her self, a knowledge that extended all the way to her fingers and toes.
What is that called, that sense-of-the-body?
Had the word gone, like so much of her university vocabulary and other minutiae, swallowed up afterward in the day-to-day of grading exams and trying to stretch limited resources into legitimate lessons?
No, it's . . . it's proprioception. That's the word.
A small warm glow suffused her, satisfaction at having remembered. But with it came an increasing sense of something wrong, something different. Proprioception was indeed the word, and her proprioceptive senses were sending her strange messages. She had been in the network so long that it took a while before she finally understood.
I feel like I have a body again. A real body. My body!
She moved her hands. They moved. Strange currents beat at them, strange pushes and pulls buffeted her, but she was feeling her own hands. She touched herself, running her hands over her arm, her breasts, her belly, and was startled by how dazzlingly ordinary her body felt. Her fingers slid up to her face and encountered tubes . . . and a mask.
It's me!
The thought was so bizarre she could not quite grasp it for a moment. The confusion of real and unreal had become a normal way of thinking, hard to put aside on such short notice, but the facts seemed indisputable: she was touching her own naked body. The bubble-mask with its dependent tubes and wires was again clamped to her face. The thought of what it all meant was slower, but when it finally arrived, it had the force of epiphany.
I'm . . . I'm back!
The strange flow of forces across her skin must be the gel in the V-tank, temporarily offline from the reality-mimicking circuits of the Otherland network and generating random patterns. That meant . . . that meant she could simply pull the inside release handle on the tank and step out! After all these weeks, the real world was only inches away.