Mothers and Daughters (21 page)

‘Everything is fine. It’s a boy. It happened quite fast for a first child. She went into labour about midnight and he was born about half an hour ago.’

‘Is he premature?’ Fearfully, she envisaged a tiny scrap of humanity attached to wires and monitors, fighting for life.

‘Not really, she probably got her dates wrong. He’s fine.’ His voice was defensive as if
his
babies were of a superior kind, who never got born too early or were any less than perfect. ‘Evie so hopes you’ll come.’ He sounded as if
he
wanted her to come to take charge, let him off the hook. Though what was his role going to be in all this anyway? Had he been there at the birth? Taken Evie to hospital?

‘So were you there?’ she asked.

‘No, that’s women’s work. She got a friend to take her in, you know Suzie who lives in the thatched cottage at the start of the lane, and it was very quick and then she texted me, told me to ring you.’

‘So you haven’t seen him, gone to see how they both are?’ She was shocked, yet what did she expect from such a selfish man?

‘No… I will later.’ His voice was impatient now, almost dismissive, and her heart went out to Evie and this poor little boy.

‘So you’ll come… today, dear grandmamma? You must surely be the most beautiful granny there is.’ His voice became syrupy sweet with flattery and she despised herself for the surge of warmth it provoked in her. Poor, sweet Evie, no wonder, sad and lost without her beloved father, she’d been easy meat to this devilishly attractive man.

She said briskly, ‘I’ll come today. Has Evie got her mobile, can I ring her, do they allow mobiles on the ward?’ She longed to hear her daughter’s voice, find out how she was after the ordeal of childbirth, which was bad enough to go through with a loving husband by one’s side, a doting father keen to welcome his child into his life. Now he was here she would love him, she couldn’t bear not to love him even though she wasn’t ready for him, wasn’t ready to be a grandmother.

‘Her mobile’s run out, but she said she’d call you on Suzie’s mobile when she’s back in the ward. So she’ll ring soon, I expect. Goodbye then, Alice.’ And he rang off, his voice subdued now as if he had suddenly realized the magnitude of what he had done and was… hopefully, ashamed of himself.

She collapsed back in bed, the silent receiver still in her hand. ‘Julian you should be here, we’re grandparents.’ Her face was wet with sudden tears. Here was one of the most sacred, precious moments of her life and she was facing it on her own.

She got up, and not bearing to be alone with her news, she rang Laura from her mobile.

‘It’s just past six, Mum, are you all right?’ Laura sounded scared.

‘Yes, Nick rang, Evie’s baby is born, just now, it’s a boy,’ she blurted out, still not quite believing it.

‘Is it… he… all right, isn’t he too early?’ Laura said irritably as if he were a guest who’d arrived before the party was ready.

‘He’s fine; she may have got her dates wrong. I’m waiting for her to ring me; I’ll go there today. People don’t seem to stay in hospital long these days after childbirth if all is well.’

‘So Nick was with her?’

‘No, but he rang me.’

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Laura said, surprising her.

‘But you have your work,’ she said, wishing Laura could come, not wanting to do this alone.

‘It’s Friday and I’m sure they’ll understand. I’ll tell Douglas and I’ll come back on Sunday. You’re a granny,’ she said suddenly, ‘and I’m an aunt, scary.’

‘It takes some getting used to,’ Alice said, ‘but if you could come, darling – but don’t get sacked or anything – it would be lovely.’

‘I’ll call Douglas, then I’ll come round and we can leave.’ Laura rang off.

The phone rang again and it was Evie. ‘Oh Mum… it was agony and there wasn’t time for the epidural and I’d been promised it. I’ll never go through that again, it was terrible.’ Evie sounded near tears.

‘But the baby is safely here, I’m longing to see him… you too, of course, darling,’ Alice said, the pain of childbirth now the least of her worries. ‘And… how is he, what does he weigh?’ She worried he might be too small if he was early.

‘Just under seven pounds, He’s fine, but it was a shock him coming like that. I’m not ready for him, I thought I had another month, everyone says first babies are late… and I won’t meet my deadline for my illustrations now,’ she wailed, perhaps realising for the first time how much her life would change.

‘Well he’s here now and Laura and I will come down today and get things ready for you. You have got most things, haven’t you, darling?’ She wondered if she should rush out and buy stuff, but what?

‘Some things: a Moses basket, nappies, I don’t know. Suzie says she’ll lend me things. Nick might come.’ Her voice was flat and Alice suffered for her. Perhaps she and the baby should leave Suffolk so she wouldn’t have to bump into Nick all the time, expect things – love, care, interest – from him that she wouldn’t get, but now was not the time to discuss it and, after assuring her that she and Laura would be there early afternoon, she rang off, dressed and packed a bag.

Laura turned up soon after she was ready and they had breakfast together.

‘Douglas says he’ll cover for me, we had a few things we should be doing this weekend but he understands,’ she said, buttering her toast.

‘But if he needs you…’ Alice felt torn, both her girls now had their own commitments and she couldn’t expect Laura to drop everything and come with her.

‘No, it will be all right,’ Laura said firmly. ‘I’ll come back on Sunday. Will Evie and the baby come here, do you think?’

‘I’ve no idea, we’ll see when we get there,’ Alice said, impatient now to be off.

The baby was naturally their main source of conversation but Laura soon began to talk about Nick, wondering how much input he’d have as a father.

‘Not much I shouldn’t think.’ Alice was annoyed with him for causing so much distress to her family, and to his own, and afraid that Laura, who also seemed to love him, or thought that she did, would get hurt. Was her eagerness to come with her more in the hope of seeing
him
than her sister or the baby? Did she imagine that he’d spend the weekend at the cottage seeing his son and she, while her sister rested, would have access to him? Perhaps she needed to see him before she married Douglas, who was, Alice imagined, only second best.

‘We mustn’t forget that he is married to poor, long-suffering Freya and has children with her. He has behaved very badly,’ Alice said sternly, a feeling of helpless apathy creeping over her at the troubles ahead.

‘She might chuck him out, I know I would if Douglas behaved like that,’ Laura said firmly.

Alice refrained from saying that Douglas was not the type of man to set female pulses racing. ‘But who would take him in?’ she said instead. ‘Does any self-respecting woman really want to be lumbered with a man like that?’ She meant her remark to be a warning to Laura not a criticism of Freya.

‘If they love him enough he might change,’ Laura said determinedly and Alice warned herself not to say that if Laura was thinking she could save him with her love she would be severely disappointed, after all no one could love him – or understand him – as well as Freya did. To change the subject and perhaps remind her that she’d already made her commitment to Douglas, Alice questioned her on her wedding, asking how their plans were going and had they had any answers yet to the invitations Laura had sent and their discussion lasted all the way to the hospital.

They went inside and after asking the way were shown to the ward, having to pass a security check in case they were baby-snatchers, Alice assumed, remembering how friendly and free it all used to be when her girls were born. Evie was dressed, looking pale and fragile, sitting on her bed, waiting impatiently for them to arrive. The baby was in a plastic cot, asleep beside her.

‘I can hardly walk, I’m so sore,’ she greeted them. ‘It’s agony having a baby,’ she said to Laura. ‘If I ever have another I’ll insist to be knocked out.’

‘Let me look at him.’ Alice bent over the cot. The baby was sleeping on his back, his arms thrown out behind him. He was the image of Nick and she remembered how Freya said you never needed a paternity test where Nick’s babies were concerned. ‘He’s perfect’ she said, hugging Evie, who clung to her for a moment as if afraid of what she’d done. But it was too late now, the situation had to be faced and a baby cared for. Alice regarded him again; he was so small with pale fluffy hair, two tiny fists escaping from the blanket. She felt a rush of love, a yearning to hold him close to her.

‘Are you allowed home, darling?’ she asked Evie.

‘Yes, I’ve got all these papers, and they said I could go when you came.’ Evie said. ‘And Suzie lent me those,’ she gestured to her case and a car seat both under the bed. ‘You have to have them as soon as the baby’s born. I don’t know how you fit them in the car.’

Laura was staring down at the baby, her face impassive. Was it making her feel broody or jealous, seeing he looked the image of his father and she was wishing Nick loved her or even that the baby was hers?

‘Right, if you’re ready let’s go,’ Alice said, handing Laura the car seat and picking up Evie’s bags. ‘Can you manage the baby, darling?’ She wondered if she felt safe carrying him along the corridor and down in the lift to the car park.

‘Fine, I’ve practised already,’ Evie said, picking him up and they followed her out of the ward.

With difficultly, they got the car seat in the back of the car and the baby strapped in. Evie sat in the back with him. Alice wondered if there was any food in the house and was tempted to stop at the supermarket, but perhaps it was best to get Evie back home, she’d go out later if necessary.

No one really talked on the way back to the cottage. Evie was obviously tired and sore and not a little shocked at suddenly becoming a mother, Alice too was exhausted and emotional, wishing Julian were here to see their beautiful grandchild. Laura was strangely quiet and Alice forbade herself to imagine what, or whom, she was thinking of.

There was a lot to do when they reached the cottage. Evie had a shower and went to bed, complaining that she hadn’t slept at all since the night before. Alice held the baby, feeling him snuffling into her neck. How she’d dreaded his birth, but now he was here she loved him unconditionally.

When Evie was in bed, Alice handed the baby to her, hoping she’d get over the shock at having him so soon. Laura wandered in and the two of them made up the Moses basket – lent by Suzie who’d also left a pile of stuff for Evie in the hall, including a well-used pram. While she sorted things out, Alice told them both about Margot and their new ideas for Amy and Edith to make nursery things, and said she’d get them to make a basket for the baby’s creams, wipes and such, for her.

‘What are you going to call him?’ Laura asked, sitting on the bed watching everything going on with a slight air of amazement. ‘Are you going to choose his name yourself or ask Nick?’

Evie said, ‘It’s my baby, so I’ll choose his name. I thought I’d call him after Dad.’

‘Oh, ’Alice was surprised by a sudden rush of tears.

‘I thought you’d like it,’ Evie said, frowning.

‘What does Nick think?’ Laura asked.

‘I don’t know, we never talked of names.’

‘Has he seen him yet?’ Laura asked.

Evie shook her head, ‘He’ll come by soon. But I can’t think of another name I like. I thought he’d be a girl, I’ve lots of names for girls.’

She shouldn’t be surprised at Evie’s choice of name for her son but it had come as a shock. She didn’t want it, not as a first name to hear it all the time, but she wouldn’t say anything now knowing how fragile a new mother’s emotions were after birth, especially a first baby and it perhaps it would be worse in Evie’s circumstances.

‘It’s early days, darling and you’re tired. Try and sleep a little, you’ll feel better in a day or so.’

There was a sound of a car pulling up outside in the lane and Laura made for the door. ‘I wonder who that is, I’ll go and see for you.’ She ran out of Evie’s bedroom and down the stairs.

Alice braced herself for seeing Nick. Naturally he would come and see his child, but she didn’t feel like seeing him so soon and before Evie and the baby was settled. She heard a woman’s voice on the stairs and, going on to the landing, she saw a rosy-faced woman in a dark coat, with Laura following disconsolately behind.

‘Hello there, I’m Ruby Spence, come to see how mother and baby are settling in. I pass the cottage on my way home so I thought I’d pop in; see if everything is all right. I’ll be back in the morning as well.’

‘How kind, thank you.’ Alice was grateful to see this cheerful, confident woman. ‘I’ll leave you to it and be downstairs should you need me.’ She smiled and made her way downstairs. She was obviously one of the midwives looking after Evie and it was probably best to leave them alone.

Laura stood listlessly by the door, staring out at the garden, obviously disappointed that the visitor was not Nick. He did not come, or even telephone for the rest of the day, leaving all three of them anxious. His mobile was on call back and Evie left a message saying they’d been discharged and she was home, in case he’d gone to the hospital to see them. Her voice was sad and waif-like, breaking Alice’s heart.

When they were together in the living room, out of Evie’s hearing, Laura wondered anxiously if he had had an accident ‘as surely he’d want to see his son?’

‘Nick is the accident,’ Alice retorted, her emotions muddled, relief that Evie and the baby were safe and love for the tiny boy, but anger too that both her daughters seemed to be so strongly under Nick’s spell.

The weekend was spent settling in the baby, who was still unnamed and so referred to as ‘the baby’. Laura protested that she didn’t want him called after their father as he’d remind her of him in a sad way and Evie got upset and said it was none of her business. Alice had to step in and take Laura aside and explain that having just given birth, and especially in such circumstances, Evie’s hormones were all over the place and it would be best not to say anything that might upset her for the moment.