Moth Girls (17 page)

Mandy took her phone out of her pocket. She was desperate and had no idea what she was doing, but she pressed nine once and then a second time. Before she pressed it again a voice called out from inside the house.

‘It’s OK. I’ll speak to her.’

The woman turned round. There, at the end of the hallway, was Petra.

Mandy stood on the doorstep. Petra walked up the hallway towards her. Mandy was holding her breath, her eyes travelling up and down this girl who she had once known. She was tall, thin and had long reddish hair that was parted at one side. She had on tight jeans and plimsolls and a baggy top. There were several bangles on her wrist and a chain round her neck on which hung a cross. Her face had a grown-up look but still, there, around the features, Mandy could see the younger girl. When she came to the front door she twisted her lips to the side and it was as if Mandy had gone back in time.

Petra spoke to the woman at the door in another language. The woman shrugged her shoulders. Petra put her arm around the woman’s shoulder and said softly, ‘
Bedzie wszystko w porzadku.
’ The woman answered rapidly, and Petra listened and nodded, glancing at Mandy from time to time. The woman kept going, speaking in paragraphs. Petra whispered something with one finger up at Mandy as if to say,
I won’t be a minute
.

Mandy noticed her nails then. They were silver and long and rested on the woman’s shoulder, delicately curved like beads that Mandy might use to make a bangle. She glanced at her own nails, bitten down. She folded her arms, hiding her hands. The woman had stopped speaking and was looking at Mandy in a poisonous way. Then she turned and headed for the stairs. Petra waited until she’d gone up before she spoke.

‘What are you doing here?’ she said. ‘How did you know where I was?’

‘Hello, Petra,’ Mandy said, ignoring the question.

Petra looked suspiciously at her, as if something had just come into her head. She stepped out onto the doorstep and looked up and down the street.

‘You’ve not brought anyone with you,’ she said.

‘Brought who?’

‘
Policja
,’ Petra said. ‘The police?’

‘You said not to tell anyone and I didn’t. You said you would contact me and you didn’t. I haven’t brought anyone but unless you tell me what happened I will walk straight away from here and ring the police now,’ Mandy said.

Petra’s eyes were scanning the road behind Mandy.

‘I’m not lying. I’ve been the truthful one so far here. You’re the one who lied.’

Petra slumped against the side of the porch. All the tension seemed to run off her.

‘I was going to get in touch. If you hadn’t turned up today I would have written to you, care of the school. It’s been very busy. I’ve had a lot of work on.’

‘Where’ve you been, Petra?’ Mandy said, her voice a hiss. ‘The whole country was looking for you. Your dad …’

‘You need some kind of explanation. It’s just that the house is full of people …’

Just then, as if on cue, the kitchen door opened and a young man poked his head out and called out a name. Petra said something to him but Mandy couldn’t understand what it was. The door closed.

‘You’ve changed your name.’

‘Of course.’

There it was. The old disdain. Petra’s eyes flicking to the side as if illustrating to someone else how stupid Mandy was. She might as well have added ‘Duh!’ Mandy looked sharply at her, her jaw tensed, her features pointed angrily. Petra immediately closed her eyes and whispered, ‘
Przepraszam.
’ Then she said, ‘Sorry,’ and put her hand out and touched Mandy’s coat sleeve.

‘I will tell you but not here. There’s a park down the road. You go ahead and I’ll come in five minutes.’

‘I’m not going anywhere.’

Petra stood very still but there were things going on inside her head; Mandy could tell by the twitches of her mouth and the movement of her eyes.

‘I haven’t been fair to you,’ she finally said, pulling herself together. ‘I’ll get my coat and we’ll both go down to the park. We can talk there.’

She went back into the house, up the stairs where the woman had gone. There was hurried talk; Mandy could hear voices scissoring across each other. Then she came back down wearing the green puffa jacket. It was unzipped and the front was flying apart as Petra came towards her.

Mandy followed her along the street, Petra a couple of paces ahead. It was surreal that this girl could be here; as though she had risen from the dead. When she got to the park she headed for a bench. Mandy joined her.

‘Where’ve you been?’ she said, as soon as she sat down, determined to get straight to the point.

The park looked damp and brown and there were piles of leaves drifting up to the bench. Some of the trees were bare and the flower beds had been replanted with winter pansies. The children’s play area was empty except for a young girl with a pushchair. A woman on a mobility scooter went past, a dog running alongside her.

‘I will explain,’ Petra said. ‘But first, have you seen my father?’

Mandy nodded, remembering Jason Armstrong at the demolition of the house.

‘How is he?’

‘Not so good.’

Mandy was holding the edge of the seat. She could feel the wood splintering at her fingers. Why couldn’t Petra just speak?

‘What happened, Petra? On that night? When you went into the house?’

‘It’s a simple explanation. Tina and I went in. You knew that. You were there. We hid in the kitchen. It was dark there and the door was ajar so we could see into the living room. Mr Merchant – the old man – was in his chair. Tina was jittery. She hadn’t really wanted to go in. She just did it out of loyalty to me.’

This was true.

‘Anyway we were only in there for a few moments and Tina was jumpy. I felt her arm and it was rigid, like she’d seized up with fright at what we were doing. She said, “I’ve got to go.” So I let go of her and gave her a little push towards the door. It was like she needed my permission to leave so I gave it to her. And she went. She left me there. I was a bit miffed and once she’d gone there seemed no point in me staying. I waited a few more minutes; I suppose I thought I might have a look around but I didn’t. It was dark and because I was on my own I was scared. I left as well. Tina was nowhere to be seen so I went home.’

‘The old man was murdered.’

‘I
know.
I read about all this on the internet. Mr Merchant …’ she said, pausing, ‘… was alive when I left.’

‘And Tina …’

‘I thought Tina had gone home or probably round your house.’

Could it be as simple as that? They both left the house separately?

‘I’ve been blaming myself for not telling anyone that the two of you went into that house for the last five years. And now you’re saying that neither of you stayed in there?’

‘None of it was your fault.’

‘But if I’d said, as soon the police came round …’

‘If you had told the police straight away it wouldn’t have made any difference. Tina had left the house and so had I. Whatever happened to Tina happened outside, on the street, on the way home or on the way to your house. In fact that’s where the police started looking, on the streets. You have nothing to feel guilty about.’

Mandy felt herself shift about uncomfortably. This was something that had never occurred to her. That whatever she had done that night wouldn’t have made one bit of difference either way.

‘You never met my father, did you? Back then?’ Petra said.

‘I saw him a couple of times.’

‘He had a problem with anger. Whenever he got down or unhappy he hit out at someone. My gran, his girlfriends and me, maybe even my mum when she was alive. Social services knew about it. They kept a close eye on his drinking. It wasn’t hard for me to live with him. I
wanted
to live with him. The aggression usually only came out when he was drunk. He always said sorry afterwards. Social services had a kind of contract with him. He went to counselling, he kept control of his drinking and he promised not to lay a finger on me. Mostly he managed it. And if he did hurt me then I covered it up and didn’t tell anyone. How could I tell? The alternative was foster care and I didn’t want that. I
managed
it. I was happy enough. After I lost my gran nothing much mattered to me. Well, except for Tina. Tina was like my sister. That day, that Thursday, my dad had been drinking from the night before and continued during the day. He got really angry with me in the morning and he hit out at me. I had bruises all down one arm and on my ribs. You didn’t see them because I covered them up.’

Mandy didn’t speak. There had always been something
hidden
about Petra.

‘Tina didn’t see them either, but she knew I was having a bad time. That night, after I left Mr Merchant’s house, I went home. My dad was asleep on the settee and he had a line of beer cans on the floor in front of him and half a bottle of vodka in the kitchen. I was pretty miserable and I couldn’t face a night waiting for him to wake up and start throwing his weight around again. So I went and stayed with his ex-girlfriend. I told her that he said it was OK and we watched DVDs and went to bed and woke up late. Then we saw the news and realised what had happened.’

‘Why didn’t you come forward?’

‘Because I knew that that was the end. I was covered in bruises and I’d been missing all night. I’d get sent into foster care.’

‘You stayed away for five years to avoid that?’

‘I didn’t intend to stay away for ever. I – we – took it day by day. I thought the bruises might heal. I had this mad idea that I could go to the police after a couple of days and say I’d lost my memory.’

‘What about the girlfriend? Surely she would have made you go to the police.’

‘She knew what my dad was like. She cared about me and in any case she had plans to go back to Poland so she wouldn’t be a part of it. I was also worried sick about Tina. I thought if I went to the police then the story would get confused. It would be about me when it needed to be about
her
. I had no idea what had happened to her and I kept thinking about all these horrible things. It was a terrible few days.’

‘But you didn’t go back …’

Petra shook her head.

‘You went with your dad’s ex-girlfriend back to Poland.’

Petra lips pursed. ‘I can’t say any more. I don’t want to get anyone else in trouble. She cared about me. I made the decision that I wanted to be with her and not my dad. As the days went by and there was no explanation about what happened to Tina I realised that if I went back my life was either going to be with my dad or in care and either way I wasn’t going to have Tina any more. So it seemed to me that my old life was finished.
Petra
Armstrong
was finished, so I made a new start.’

Mandy didn’t know what to say. People didn’t just make decisions about leaving their old lives behind.
They just didn’t.

‘It doesn’t sound plausible.’

‘I can’t help that. It’s the truth. I’ve had a good life. I live with someone who loves me. We are like sisters.’

‘But you’ve come back.’

‘Just for a short period for work. We needed some work. The money’s good.’

‘Weren’t you afraid you might be recognised?’

‘I’ve grown up. It’s five years now. In any case there are eight million people in London. I was hardly likely to bump into my father.’

‘You went to the house. You bumped into me.’

‘I did. I didn’t expect to see someone there at five o’clock in the morning.’