More Than Famous (Famous #2) (14 page)

"Oh, babe. I hate this part, but I wouldn't trade one second of the time we have together. It's so incredible.  You're my whole world, Brooklyn."

I nodded, still plastered against him, my fingers clutching into his naked skin anywhere I could touch. I brought my lips to his neck and I sucked lightly on the skin as the hand around his waist slid up to the back of his neck. I raised my chin and kissed his jaw.

"Brook, I'm going to ask Denise to get me a flat in L.A. I'm tired of not being close to you."

My heart leapt at his words as I raised my head to look into his face. He reached out to brush the line of my jaw with the tips of his fingers.

"But, you'll miss your friends and family, right?"

"I miss you more. I can't stand leaving you all the time, and I can't stand seeing you cry."

I hugged him tighter and turned my face into him again as more tears flowed from my eyes. I wanted to be stronger, but I wasn’t.

"I've been thinking about it for months actually. If something happened to you and I was in London, it would be twelve or fourteen hours before I could get to you. That bloody terrifies me."

Hope leapt in my chest and my heart beat faster, but I knew it was a big sacrifice for him to make.

"I love that you want to do that, but we still have to be apart, regardless. Look at these past few weeks, you've been in L.A. and we've still barely had any time together. I'd hate for you to make those kinds of changes with no guarantees we'd be any better off. Plus, the press would go nuts. The studio wouldn’t be supportive."

"I'll take my chances. If we have an opportunity come up, it's a hell of a lot easier to sneak across town than for one of us to fly bloody half way around the globe, yeah?" He smiled the beautiful smile that was uniquely him, and bent to pull my upper lip in between both of his. My mouth opened to him and he brought a groan out of me when his tongue dove into my mouth. My mouth was clinging to his when he finally pulled away.

"You are," I said.

"What?" His brows went up and his mouth twitched.

"I said you are." I smiled through my tears. "I think
you're
sexier than Ryan or Zac."

He laughed and brought his mouth down to mine again in a brief kiss. "I know." I felt his breathy smile against my lips as the words left him and I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Of course, I'm not exactly objective. I've never made love with either of them or seen them naked. Maybe I should do some research, just to be fair." My mouth quirked at the corners and I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing.

"Um, no. That won't be possible. Ever." His fingers brushed against my cheek, wiping at the remnant wetness.

I pulled myself up so that I could prop up on his chest and look into his face. "Okay. I can live with that." I stared into his blue eyes, and his expression was a mixture of amusement and sadness.

"I'm going to miss you so much," I breathed the words against his mouth.

"I'll think about you every second, sweetheart. You know that."

"I know." I smirked at him as I echoed his earlier words, while his fingers brushed the last remnants of tears from my face. His touch was so tender, like a butterfly’s wings on my cheeks.

Cade rolled on to his side and took me with him, both of us ending up lying on the pillows facing each other. He stared into my eyes and took my hand to his mouth as he kissed each of my fingers and then the palm.

"How long until your plane, my love?"

I felt my brow crinkle and I lowered my eyes, the pain in my throat beginning to throb again.

"Um, three hours." I drew a shaky breath as I raised my eyes back to his. The pain clearly visible in the liquid depths, his brow dropped lower over his eyes. His hand was shaking as he brought it to the side of my face.

"I know you've already taken a shower, but I need to make love with you one last time," he whispered against my mouth, his hot breath fanning out on my cheeks. "Just one more time." His aroused body pressed into mine, and I had no thoughts of denying him.

The tears fell from my eyes as his mouth met mine in one of the most tender kisses he'd ever given to me. His lips moved on mine so slowly, his tongue gently exploring and seeking mine. Each touch was feather light as his fingers moved on my face and then down my neck and across my shoulder.

My arms slid around him as he moved above me and he stared intently into my face. Propping himself up on his elbows, he brushed the hair back from my face as he nuzzled my nose with his and finally bent to take my mouth with his as the tenderness gave way to the desperation, hunger and need that flowed through both of us.

Every touch was exquisite, completely and utterly communicating the overwhelming love we felt between us. My heart ached, yet love made me euphoric, the entire time as we made magnificent love to each other, worshiping with each touch, kiss and thrust of our bodies.

The coming separation left a tangible and poignant veil of sadness hanging between us. So thick, it made it hard to breathe.

Cade's gorgeous eyes welled with tears after he'd once again brought my body to shivering climax. The experience left us both spent and breathless as we lay together, still entwined.

"I'm coming back to you, Julia. Soon, so very soon, so don’t forget to remember me." His velvet voice was so dazzling, with his American accent firmly in place. He was Ryan once again as he smiled softly down at me. His thumbs traced delicately along both sides of my forehead as he bent to kiss me one last time. I folded my arms and legs around him as I fought the sobs building in my chest and poured everything I had into that kiss. I desperately needed to show him how much I would miss him. How much I loved him.

I knew he was hoping to ease my grief at leaving him today by reminding me that we would soon be together for three months, when we went to Vancouver in March to begin filming the second movie in the series.

We stayed in bed for several more minutes, getting control of our emotions and holding each other close, trying to stretch the time we had left. Finally, he spoke.

"I love you, baby. Always."

"Me too."

"Do you want to take another shower? You're leaving sooner, so you'll need to go first, my love."

"Uh uh. I'll shower when I get home. I want to smell you on me today, to take you with me. I don't want to wash you off of my body… not yet, Cade."

His eyes widened and darkened as he watched my face, and his arms tightened ever so slightly around me.

"Do you think that's gross?" I finally asked against his mouth.

"No. It’s sexy as hell. It makes me love you all the more, if that's
even bloody possible
."

AFTER I GOT
back to Los Angeles, I worked on my mom to get her to let me make the trip to London for Christmas.

"Brook. We always do the family trip and this may be the last year that both you and Nathan will be available. I don't want you to miss this, and you always loved to ski."

 "Mom, that's what I'm saying. I'm not really available
this
year. I want to be with Cade. Can't you understand? Please?" I flopped down on her bed as she put clothes in her closet.

"Where would you stay?" She was skeptical.

"Mom. You let Cade sleep with me in my room and you're worried where I would stay in London? With him, of course." I was feeling so exasperated by the fruitlessness of the conversation. I shook my head at her.

She sighed. "I'm not a hypocrite, baby. What will his parents think of you if you shack up with their son? They are, after all, proper English parents, right?"

I rolled my eyes at her.
Okay, seriously?

"Well, they'll think I love their son more than anything. They pretty much know that already anyway. If you'd feel better, I can stay with his parents. Lillian already invited me when they were here for the premiere."

She sat down on the bed next to me and I turned to prop my head on my arm.

"Mom, can you
please
support me in this? I love him so much and he's so sad at not being able to be with me at Christmas. It hurts me to see him so sad."

I reached out for her hand. "Please?"

She nodded in agreement. "What are you going to get him for Christmas? Have you thought about that?"

"Yeah, but I'm struggling. He doesn't
want
anything, and he isn't into material crap. Obviously, he can buy anything he wants. I mean, he'd rather have some rare book or original sheet music than anything more traditional. I've tried to think of something spectacular, but I haven't been able to yet."

She watched my face and smiled at me.

"What?"

"Nothing. I can just see how much he means to you, honey."

I flushed. “Yes. I know it happened fast, but it's so strong, it terrifies me."

"You're lucky, Brook. Most people never have that."

"There was one other thing I thought about giving him for Christmas, but it's so personal." My fingers traced the patterns in the comforter on my parent’s bed.

"What could be too personal for someone you love that much?"

"Well, you might get mad at me." I hesitated to gauge her reaction before I continued.

"Why would I do that, baby? Did you rob a bank or something?" She was openly laughing at my expression.

"No."

My mother cocked her head to the side and raised her brows.

"I know how much you loved David, but I've always been drawn to Cade... since the audition, so... "

"For God’s sake, Brook! Can you just spit it out?"

"I kept some notes about the feelings I had. I even wrote him some letters sometimes when I wanted to tell him the truth. There were times I was afraid to share my feelings, either out of guilt related to David or because I was worried that it would hurt Cade even more... I couldn’t tell him how I felt, so I wrote it all down."

"Why would Cade be hurt by your feelings? I'm confused."

"Because I kept running away from him, even as I felt closer and closer to him. I fought the feelings that he desperately wanted from me. By telling him that I couldn't
help
falling in love with him, yet still choosing not to be with him, it might hurt, right? Wouldn't it hurt even more than thinking I didn't love him?" My voice was getting thick as my emotions rose to the surface. "He was already struggling with his own feelings, so I couldn't bear to cause him more pain than he already had."

My mom sighed and patted my hand. "But, what does this have to do with a Christmas gift?"

"Well, I thought I might give them to him."

"Don't you think it would still hurt him, for the same reasons?"

"No, I don't think so. I think it would mean a lot to him to be able to see that I felt the same for him as he did for me, all along. I've told him so already, but to let him read my thoughts as I had them, seems extremely intimate, and something that would have a deeper meaning."

My mom's eyes were full of tears when I looked up from my hands in my lap.

"I think that's perfect, Brook. I know he loves you very much, so I'm sure you're right."

IT WAS CHRISTMAS
Eve and I was on my way to surprise Cade in London. I'd worked it out with Lillian and Layla to keep it a secret, and I’d even shipped my gifts to his family early to solidify the illusion that I wouldn't be able to make it. I’d packed up my journal that I'd kept about Cade in an elaborately wrapped box with a note that he couldn't open it until Midnight on Christmas Eve. My plane was landing around 10 PM and Layla was going to pick me up at the airport.

All of the Carlisle children were gathering at their parent's house for dinner that evening. Cade told me their traditions included sitting around the fire, all of them singing Christmas Carols as he accompanied them on the grand piano. He said his father always made special Christmas grog of spiced wine and rum that they all drank all night long. I couldn't wait to get there and be part of the festivities.

The time difference made it impossible for me to call him before I left. It was only 4 AM and he'd never believe I was up so early just to go skiing, so I'd have to try to call him after I landed in London. It was a risk because if he heard the airport announcements in the background it would blow the surprise. Hopefully, I'd be able to call him from the car.