More Than a Stranger: A Sealed With a Kiss Novel (38 page)

She thought she had lost him. When she saw the blood covering him, her world shattered, falling down around her shoulders like broken glass. Without a shadow of a doubt, she knew she couldn’t live without him. What was she going to do? She couldn’t ruin her sisters’ marriage prospects because of her own choices. Was it enough to know that he was alive and safe, even if she couldn’t be with him? Her heart constricted at the thought. She squeezed her eyes closed. She would do what she had to do for the good of her family.

Perhaps they would pick up their quills once more and share their lives through ink and paper. It had served her well for years, and it might be the only way to make life bearable when she lost him.

“May I come in?” She looked up to see him framed in the doorway. Wearing a fresh white shirt that seemed a little too small for him, he looked like a new man, his hair wet, his skin scrubbed clean, the stubble scraped away. Holding her gaze, his eyes were at once playful and searching.

It took a few seconds for Evie to realize she had stopped breathing completely. Thank goodness she was already sitting down. Quickly she drew in a desperate breath of air, trying all the while to convince herself that the man before her was not an apparition. Her mouth abruptly parched, she swallowed and said softly, “Yes, please do.”

His eyes never left hers as he walked across the room to the settee where she sat and lowered himself down beside her.

“Evie,” he said, so much warmth infusing his voice, she actually blushed. He licked his lips and started again. “Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Benedict Hastings, and I am an old friend of your brother’s. I hope you will forgive the lack of proper introduction.”

His lips curved upward slightly, and he reached out to take her hand. The touch was featherlight and so pleasurable that she closed her eyes and shivered. It was so perfect a moment that she was reluctant to open her eyes. What if it was a dream?

He touched a finger to her chin, and her eyelids fluttered open. It was definitely not a dream.

“Benedict—,” she started to say, but he placed a gentle finger over her lips.

“Please, let me say something first.” She closed her mouth and nodded, and he lowered his finger and claimed her free hand. “Evie, I have no right to ask for your forgiveness for the deception I brought into your life. It was not fair to you that I presented myself as someone I was not, thereby forcing your whole family to take part in a ruse without the benefit of knowledge or choice. If I had it to do over again, I would have run in the opposite direction. But I cannot undo what is done, however I may wish to. And I do wish that I could, please make no mistake.”

He paused and looked away from her, his gaze flitting around the room. Her own eyes dropped, and she studied their joined hands. She had already forgiven him in her heart, but it was still somehow gratifying to hear the remorse in his voice. She knew he could have never wished for things to unfold the way they had, but it was reassuring to hear him say so nonetheless.

There was a tiny part of her, one that she was reluctant to acknowledge, that wished he had not regretted meeting
her
. She stared intently at their coupled hands and fervently hoped it was more than just a comforting touch from an old friend. She wanted him to crave her as she did him. She wanted him to feel the same intensity of feelings toward her that now swirled within her own heart.

“Evie, look at me,” he said gently, lifting her hand to his lips and pressing a firm kiss upon the inside of her wrist.

Her eyes flew up to meet his the moment his lips touched her sensitive skin, for the intimacy of the gesture could not be denied.

She sucked in her breath and did not even try to slow her fluttering heart. He placed her open palm against his cheek and covered her hand with his own. His cheek was warm, the skin smooth and soft. The sensation of touching his face could only be described as delicious. Slowly he lowered their joined hands and took a deep breath.

When he spoke again, his tone was noticeably lighter. “But I would be a liar if I said I regretted
everything
about that ill-fated plan. I was stunned when you ran into me that first day.” He smiled briefly before looking at her questioningly. “Did you ever wonder why I always responded to your letters?”

Cautiously Evie nodded. How could she not question why a schoolboy two years her elder had taken an interest in the faceless little girl tucked away in the country?

“You were the only person who had ever written me. My family could not have cared less about my well-being. I had no letters from home as the other boys did, regaling them with anecdotes and the latest gossip. When I arrived at Eton, I was an isolated, lonely young boy who was grateful to have found a real friend for the first time in his life.

“And then came a surly letter from my new friend’s little sister. Evie, you must have known how comical it was to me. But at the same time, I was in awe of a person who could love her sibling so ferociously, and greedily.” He offered her an amused smile, which she returned self-consciously.

“And so I wrote you back.” He shrugged. “I purposely goaded you, hoping to get another letter from you. It certainly worked.”

“What happened, Benedict? I saw the message between the lines, but what prompted you to send it in the first place?” She pressed a hand to her chest. “You broke my
heart
that day.” And every day after that, really. The pain of his betrayal softened over time, but had never truly left her.

He shook his head slowly, pressing his lips together. “I was a stupid arse of an eighteen-year-old buffoon, and I handled everything abysmally. The government recruited me to be an agent for the Crown, and I had to break ties with my old life before moving on to my new one.”

An agent for the
Crown
? Her expression must have given away her incredulity, because he shook his head. “I will tell you absolutely everything about that time in my life later. Suffice it to say, I handled it all wrong, and there really aren’t words to express how much I regret hurting you.

“When things blew up in my face last week, I foolishly turned to my oldest friend to help me. I was devastated when I thought my brother had purposely affiliated himself with a man who was not only a known smuggler, but a man who wanted me dead. I had a choice to make: I could turn Henry in to the authorities and effectively destroy my family and the Dennington earldom, or I could hold my silence and destroy my honor, my integrity, and my self-respect.”

Evie squeezed his hands. How could one possibly choose between such horrible options? He had been through so much. She was ravenously curious about his being an agent of the Crown, but she didn’t want to interrupt him—not yet, not when he seemed so close to . . . something. She nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“I needed time to come to grips with the situation. I could not bring myself to tell anyone, even Richard, everything that had transpired. When I came face-to-face with you, I was shaken. First was the shock of seeing you at all when I believed your family was in London. After that, I was in awe of you. I would have expected this brusque bluestocking, and here was this beautiful, captivating woman.”

He thought her captivating?

He gave a little half smile. “The breath was taken right out of my lungs. With all that was going on in my life, nonetheless I became completely preoccupied with my old correspondent.” The smile on his face quickly faded to a grimace. “I lost my focus, and in the process you were hurt. I am so very sorry for that. I’m sorry for a lot of things.”

She found herself suppressing an unexpected grin. He was here with her now, and she did not want to dwell on the ills of the past anymore. She raised an eyebrow and said with mock haughtiness, “As you should. In case you did not know, getting shot at and thrown from one’s horse is not
at all
a pleasant experience. I really don’t recommend it.”

There was no mistaking the instant flash of relief in his warm chocolate eyes. He grinned impishly at her. “Consider me educated, my lady.”

“And I must tell you,” she said, wanting to set things straight, “I didn’t really know what I was talking about when I said I knew about your brother. I didn’t—not until later. I’m sorry if I wounded you with my lack of concern.”

He closed his eyes for the space of a breath before meeting her gaze once more and nodding. “Thank you for that.”

She looked him in the eye, letting him see into her soul. “I forgive you. It’s why I came. I needed you to know that I forgive you.”
And that I love you.
She wasn’t ready to voice those words yet.

She relished the joy that spread over his face. “I think those are the sweetest words I have ever heard. Even better than when I learned my brother was an unwilling accomplice to Renault. Henry thought he was protecting me, believe it or not.”

She gasped. “Truly? Then you don’t have to turn him in?” Hope swelled like a cresting wave within her. Did that mean she could have him? Would he want her? Her mind raced with the possibility.

Benedict shook his head. “We will have to go to the War Office and explain the whole mess to them, but I am confident things will work out fine, and no one will be the wiser.”

“So you are free? There is nothing left to worry about?”

“Nothing that can’t be dealt with. At the moment, my biggest worry is that both our brothers are downstairs, keeping me from doing all the things with you that I couldn’t when secrets were between us. As a matter of fact,” he said, spreading his arms wide while holding her hands so to draw her close against him, “I’d like nothing more than to explore exactly how little there could be between us.”

Evie
really
liked the sound of that. Pressed against his chest as she was, she found it hard to care that their family waited so close by.

Stepping back, he raised her hands and kissed them one at a time. “I will admit, I am a little miffed about something myself.”

She blinked, trying to see past the image of the two of them intertwined on the bed. “And what, pray tell, is that?” She was glad that the misery and seriousness were lifting from his expression. A thrill raced through her as he idly rubbed his thumbs over the tops of her hands.

“You promised years ago that should we ever meet, you would know me by a single phrase. I gave you many a phrase, my love, and still you did not know me. How could that be?”

Her heart sang at the endearment—he had called her
my love
! “Oh, Benedict, I knew you—I just did not
realize
I knew you. My heart was sure of its feelings; my soul felt that you were my match. Inexplicably, I fell in love with a stranger in the space of a few days, only to find that the stranger was my soul mate whom I have known half my life.”

A smile spread slowly across his full lips, a smile so heated and full of promise, warmth flooded her entire body. Without another word, he withdrew his hands from hers and clasped them behind her neck. Slowly, he drew her to him until their lips were less than an inch apart.

Pressing his forehead to hers, he whispered, “Forgive me?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, she breathed, “With all my heart.”

His lips spread into a delicious grin before he pressed his mouth hard against hers, kissing her with all the bottled-up passion that had been building between them since the day James Benedict had walked into her life.

And she kissed him back, with all the love she possessed for her dear Mr. Benedict Hastings.

Epilogue

One year later

E
vie greeted the butler as she entered the front door, handing over her overcoat. “Thank you, Grayson. Is Hastings in his study? Oh wait. Don’t tell me. What a silly question—of course he is.”

“Indeed, my lady.” He smiled briefly before clearing his expression to one of dignified indifference. He wasn’t quite as splendid as her parents’ butler, but he was close. In a few years, he might just surpass Finnington.

“Thank you, Grayson,” she said over her shoulder as she headed for the study. She paused to collect herself before pushing open the door and letting herself in. As she crossed the carpet, Benedict looked up from his work. A grin quickly lit his face.

“Hello, my lovely wife. How are you today?”

She returned his smile as she walked around the desk and said offhandedly, “Oh, I am well. Are you very busy today?”

“I am very busy
every day
,” he replied with a little shake of his head. “Henry asked me to look over some numbers for him regarding the upcoming harvest. He believes that, barring disaster, he may just have enough left over to do some repairs for some of the tenants this year. Things are turning around much quicker than we had hoped.”

Pride swelled within her—what a clever man she had married. “Well, of course they are. With you overseeing the management of the estates, it is bound to thrive,” she said loyally.

He chuckled and pushed his chair back from the desk. “My, what faith you have in my abilities.” He held a hand to her, and when she grasped it, he tugged her into his lap.

“Well, I have learned that there are very many things that you . . . excel in,” she said, wagging her eyebrows suggestively. She groaned with pleasure when he rewarded her by pressing his lips to hers and kissing her rather thoroughly. His kisses still stirred butterflies within her, and she reveled in the delectable feeling. Perhaps they could finish their conversation upstairs. . . .

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company? How are things at the stables?” He nuzzled her neck, making her giggle when he flicked his tongue across her earlobe.

“I don’t know, actually. I never made it to the stables.”

He pulled back, surprised. “You didn’t? Why not?”

Shortly after their marriage in June, Benedict had surprised her with the lease of a lovely little manor house not six miles from Hertford Hall. He had wanted her to have the option of helping her father in the stables whenever she chose to. She had been ecstatic at the gesture—as were her parents, who until then had been less than thrilled with the chaos Benedict had brought to their lives—and ever since they moved in, she spent two days a week at the Hall.