More Than a Mistress (3 page)

“What about your dad?”

Sara stared at the table. She wished she'd kept her mouth shut. Saying it out loud only made it worse. “I've never met him.”

A hint of vulnerability showed in her voice. It grabbed at his gut and pulled. She wasn't whining or cursing, yet, despite her composure, a little hurt and shame came through. He wasn't immune to it. Daniel cleared his throat. “I'm sorry.”

Surprised, Sara looked up, but instead of the censure she'd expected, she found empathy. His simple words touched a vulnerable place inside her, one she kept hidden. She didn't know what to say.

“It's disappointing when your parents don't turn out the way you think they should.” He rubbed the condensation on his glass. “It's the kind of disappointment that can stick with you a long time even if you don't want it to.”

He spoke as if he had some experience with the same kind of disappointment, she thought. It made him seem more human to her, more likable, and made her feel a tenuous connection with him. It also made her wonder what his disappointments were. She toyed with asking him until she saw the expression on his face change from intent to teasing.

As if he realized the serious tone of their discussion had gone on long enough, he whispered to her in a conspiratorial tone, “Speaking of things that stick with you, we'd better eat these ribs before they get cold. Carly will give me hell if I don't make sure you get fed. She's scared you're gonna realize your true potential and leave her flat.”

Sara stared at him, and a smile unfurled on her lips. “Why in the world would she think I'm going to leave her?”

“She said you can run
Matilda's Dream
without her.”

A flush of pleasure stole over her, overshadowing their previous discussion. “I have no intention of leaving—”

Daniel gave her plate a meaningful glance. “Then do me a favor and eat.”

Sara saw through his obvious maneuver to bring a happier mood to the meal. She should have been immune to his exaggeration, but, Lord help her, it felt great to have a good man teasing her. She saw the tempered desire in his eyes and felt adrenaline rush through her. Sara shook her head in skepticism at her roller-coaster feelings and took a bite of rib. “If you were so concerned about feeding me, then why did you eat my onion loaf?”

With a completely straight face he said, “I won that onion loaf by guessing your weight. It was my duty to eat it.”

Sara laughed. “Duty!”

“When you're the oldest of eight, you learn very quickly that some duties are more desirable than others.”

“You must have been a trial for your parents.”

“According to my mother, I was perfect.”

Sara rolled her eyes and delicately licked one of her fingers. “Spoken like a first child.”

Daniel watched, fascinated by the sensuality of the small movement. Throughout the meal he'd gotten the impression that occasionally Sara indulged herself, and the way she indulged herself with food was sexy. She didn't mind the messiness. As a matter of fact she seemed to revel in it.

She took another bite of ribs and slowly ran the slick, pink tip of her tongue over her upper lip.

Daniel's gut tightened.

Sara stopped. “Is something wrong?”

Yes, Daniel thought. Something was wrong. He wished they were alone so that he could taste that erotic mouth of hers and find out if she was as sweet and spicy as he suspected. He found himself wishing for a lot of things when he was around her. Sara made him feel…deprived. He cleared his throat. “You missed a little sauce on the left.”

Sara lifted her napkin and wiped her mouth. “Here?”

He shook his head. “No.” Giving in to his need, he leaned forward and touched her mouth with his thumb.

Sara went completely still. His gaze, she noted, was fixed with mesmerizing intent on her mouth, as if he couldn't have torn his attention from her if he'd wanted to. He rubbed gently and should have moved away then. Instead his thumb moved from one side of her mouth and back.

Sara held her breath.

Daniel lifted his gaze to meet hers and pressed his thumb into the center of her lips.

A kiss.

She felt it and instinctively pursed her mouth against him.

His eyes flared, and he pressed a little farther, his thumb invading the soft moistness of her inner lips.

Surprised by his unexpected boldness, Sara felt a sensual twisting deep inside her coiling tighter and tighter. Masculine hunger was there on his face, something she hadn't expected from Daniel. What she'd expected even less was her own overwhelming fascination with him. Shocking, intimate images floated through her mind.

Sara closed her eyes against them. She moved to dampen her suddenly dry lips and instead tasted his flesh.

Daniel swore.

Mortified, Sara instantly pulled back, but the tension between them held her like a chain. “I'm sorry,” she whispered, staring and shaking her head. “I don't know—”

“Hey, Daniel,” a male voice called, “we've been looking all over for you. I thought you were gonna eat lunch with Carly.”

Troy stopped at the table.

Sara jerked her gaze from Daniel and cleared her throat. She took a deep breath and looked up to see not only Troy but also Jarod. She forced a smile. “Hi.”

Troy and Jarod greeted her, then Troy slid beside Daniel, and Jarod sat beside her.

“I thought you two were doing maintenance on the machinery this morning,” Daniel said.

Troy shrugged. “We needed a part.” He shot Sara a coy glance. “We thought we'd join you and Carly for lunch.”

An uncomfortable silence followed, and Sara felt the same underlying uneasiness she always felt when she was with the Pendleton brothers. The problem was that since they had a shared history, they knew all the inside family jokes, the pecking order and what subjects were taboo. They knew, and she didn't, which made her feel more like an outsider than ever.

Daniel nearly groaned. “Carly was busy, like you're supposed to be.”

“We needed that part and…”

“Is the Christmas season keeping you and Carly busy with
Matilda's Dream?
” Jarod asked Sara, pulling her attention away from Troy and Daniel.

She nodded. “Christmas and end-of-the-year reports.” Growing more uncomfortable with each passing moment, she glanced at her watch. “Oh my! Look at the time. I need to get back.”

“I can walk you,” Jarod offered.

Anger pulsed through Daniel. He nearly pounded his fist on the table. After all his careful planning he'd lost complete control of this situation. Troy was starting to jaw about being hungry, and heaven help him, it looked as if Jarod was moving in on Sara.

“I'll walk her,” Daniel announced in a voice that brooked no argument.

“Oh, no.” Sara stood. “You can't leave your brothers.”

“Why not?”

She blinked. “Well, they just got here, and…” She shrugged and managed a strained smile. “And now you can discuss whatever it is that brothers talk about. Thank you for lunch.” She waved a hand, encompassing all of them. “I'll see you at the wedding.”

Troy and Jarod murmured their agreement.

Daniel called after Sara. “I'll pick you up at two o'clock.”

He watched Sara move her head in a gesture that could have meant yes or no.

“You're finally making your move,” Troy piped in with a smirk on his face.

At that moment Daniel would have traded his name to be an only child. Furious with his lack of privacy, he tried to lay some ground rules. First things first. He turned to Jarod. “Cut the moves on Sara.”

Jarod lifted his hands in surprise. “Hey, I was just trying to put her at ease.”

Daniel frowned. “Well, don't try so hard. And you,” he said, turning to Troy. “If you ever horn in again when I'm with her, I swear I'll—”

“Horn in!” Troy lowered his voice. “Does that mean you were getting anywhere with her?”

Daniel hesitated, remembering how she'd kissed his thumb. For a little slice of time her eyes had gone soft and hazy.

Then he recalled how quickly she'd left. If he were going to answer Troy, he supposed he'd have to say yes and no. He decided, though, that he wanted his relationship with Sara kept private. Because he felt a strong protectiveness toward her. And because there was no way he could articulate what he felt for her. It was overwhelming and disturbing.

He looked at Troy and Jarod, and for the first time in his life he made a demand that had nothing to do with the farm or the family and everything to do with himself. “Leave it alone. Just leave it alone.”

Sara watched Garth take Erin in his arms for a long and thorough kiss. Several seconds passed, and Troy started making whooping noises. Another brother, Brick, let out a loud whistle. Pretty soon most of the wedding guests were applauding. The couple finally pulled apart. Erin's face was flushed with pleasure, Garth's expression was tinged with awe, and the look they exchanged was so intimate that Sara had to turn away.

She glanced at Daniel to find him looking at her. Her stomach dipped.

You don't belong here, Sara Jean.

I know. I know. But I can wish, can't I? Wishing won't hurt anyone.

You can wish all you want to, but you'll never be like these people. You're too much like
—

Sara mentally cut off her mother's voice. She heard it only when she was feeling vulnerable, like today. The simple ceremony had made Sara feel a little weepy. It reminded her that she didn't share a close, loving relationship with anyone on this planet. The reminder hurt.

“Are you okay?” Carly asked, concern etched on her face.

Sara shook off her depressed mood and smiled. “Fine. Erin looks beautiful.”

Carly sighed. “She does. But I'd probably look that radiant, too, if I were going to Martinique.”

Overhearing that last comment, Carly's husband, Russ, came up from behind and pulled her against him. He tossed Sara a wink. “We can have our own little island in the sun tonight in the Jacuzzi.”

Carly laughed. “Have you forgotten that we're looking after Luke while Erin and Garth are on their honeymoon?”

Russ shook his head. “He'll be so tired after all the activity today.” He gave them both a broad grin, kissed Carly, then backed away to answer someone's greeting.

Carly rolled her eyes, but Sara could tell she was delighted with her husband.

“So,” said Carly, pulling her attention from Russ. “How's everything progressing with Daniel? I hear he nearly beat up Jarod and Troy for interrupting your lunch the other day.”

Sara blinked at the change in subject, then shook her head. “Daniel and I aren't progressing anywhere because we're not well suited for each other. I told you that before.”

“That was before he decided to go after you.”

Sara's pulse accelerated. “He'll change his mind.”

Carly looked at Sara with sympathy. “How long have you been suffering from delusions? Get ready for the chase of your life.” She made a tsking sound. “You're so nice and innocent. Just don't let him push you into doing anything you don't want to.”

Russ reappeared and snagged Carly's wrist. “You're not meddling, are you?”

Carly innocently batted her eyes at him. “Not me.” Then she ducked her head and whispered to Sara, “One more warning: when Daniel wants something, he can have the sensitivity of a Mack truck.”

Frustrated, Sara shook her head. “But I—”

“Are you ready for the reception?” Daniel asked from beside her. He placed his hand on her back and watched her take a deep breath. There was turbulence in her green-gray eyes. He wondered what she and Carly had been talking about. He wondered a lot about Sara Kingston. Lately he'd been wondering what her lips would feel like pressed to his. And he decided that tonight he would find out.

 

“Thanks for the ride,” Sara said, reaching for her key.

“No problem,” Daniel said. She was going to try to leave him on the porch. He knew it. “Mind if I have a cup of coffee?”

Sara jerked her head up to look at him. He could hear his mother's voice scolding him:
Pushy, pushy, pushy. Wait until you're invited.
Tough. At this rate, if he waited for an invitation from Sara, he'd never get past the front door, let alone into her bed.

Her ever-present politeness warred with a desire to kick him out. He could read it on her face. “Of course,” Sara finally said, then pushed open the door. “Come on in.”

She started to take off her coat and Daniel helped her with it. He caught a whiff of her sweet and spicy perfume. “You smell great.”

“It's new, and I probably shouldn't have gotten it,” she said, remembering how the romantic fragrance had captivated her at the cosmetic counter just the other day. “I have all these bottles under my sink, but I love perfume and I just can't seem to resist…” Her voice stalled when he touched her.

Under the guise of a casual gesture, Daniel lifted her hair behind her shoulder and played with a silky brown strand. “I'm glad you didn't resist. Did you know your hair even smells like it?”

Sara swallowed hard. “Bath gel and shampoo came with it.”

Daniel felt his temperature rise. “So you smell like this all…” His imagination flashed a vivid picture of Sara, wet, scented and nude, in a bathtub.

“All over,” she finished in a slightly husky voice. Then she cleared her throat. “About that coffee.”

“Yeah.”

Sara looked at him expectantly. “I, uh, need my hair.”

Still reluctant to let go, he grinned and tangled his fingers deeper into her hair. “So do I.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“I'm trying.” His grin grew. “Is it working?”

Too well.
Her pulse racing, she tamped down the urge to rest her head in his big hand. Instead she tried to distract him. “I have some hot chocolate.”

“And marshmallows?”

A little boy when it came to food, she concluded. Darn if that didn't make her like him more. “Yes.”

He loosened his fingers and leaned closer. “You didn't answer my question.”

Still entangled in his gaze, Sara gave a quick shake of her head and backed away. “I'm not going to.”

For several moments he looked at her hungrily.

“Guess I'll have to keep trying, Miss Sara.”

Distressed, she lifted a hand. “Please don't.”

“Why?”

She bit her lip and knitted her fingers together. “We've already talked about this.”

Daniel nodded. “I know. First you said I should leave you alone because of Carly. Then you said you didn't think you were good at male-female relationships.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. “So what is it tonight?”

“You're not making this easy for me.”

“And you're not making it easy for me either.”

She refused to let his persistence wear her down. “Daniel, you're a good man. And I'm not—” she groped for the proper words “—I'm not good for good men. I ruin them.”

He gave a burst of laughter. “You're nuts,” he said. “You're sexy as hell. But you're nuts. You couldn't ruin a peapod.”

She sucked in a harsh breath. “How about a senator?”

His laughter faltered. “What?”

She shook her head. There were some things she simply couldn't discuss, even for the sake of Daniel Pendleton. “I don't want to go into it, so just trust me. Two men, two good men, lost everything because of their relationships with me. I don't want the same thing to happen to you.”

Daniel scratched his head. “Now, let me get this straight. You think you're responsible for the downfall of these two men.” He waved his hand. “That it's somehow related to you.”

“Definitely,” Sara said in a solemn voice.

“And,” he continued, “you think that if you get involved with me, you'll ruin my life.”

Sara nodded.

He rolled his eyes and tugged his tie loose. “I gotta tell you, Sara. That's the biggest bunch of bull I've heard in my life. And with Troy as my brother, I've heard a hell of a lot.”

Sara stiffened. “I'm sorry if you don't believe it, but it's true.” She turned and headed for the kitchen.

Daniel followed after her. “You really expect me to believe that you lure good men down the road to perdition? How did you do it, Sara? Did you put a magic potion in their hot chocolate? Did you sprinkle fairy dust on them when they slept? How did you do it?”

She gritted her teeth together, took the milk from the refrigerator and poured it into a pan. “It's a little more basic than that.”

Completely baffled, he shook his head. “Then it must be one of the top three ways to a man's heart—money, food or—”

Sara whipped around, her eyes shooting off enough sparks to set the kitchen on fire. “Sex.”

Daniel fell silent. He cleared his throat, never easing his gaze from hers. “You want to explain that?”

Sara sent up a silent prayer for deliverance from men with violet eyes, broad shoulders and too many questions. “I thought it was self-explanatory.” The milk began to simmer, and she turned away to reach for the cocoa.

In an instant he was behind her, staying her arm and turning off the burner. “The chocolate can wait. You can't just say something like that and go on like you're discussing the weather.”

Oh, Lord, he was going to make her say it. He was the kind of man to expect complete honesty, and something about him made her want to deliver what he expected. Maybe if she tried to explain it, she told herself, he would understand and stop this insanity.

Where were the words? Sighing, Sara stared at the clock on the stove. The second hand made jerky little movements that seemed to echo the beat of her heart. “They said I was good at it. The first man who—” she swallowed “—who taught me said I seemed to have a natural propensity for it. He told me,” she continued with irony, “that I had a
talent
for making a man hot. Back then I was so stupid, I thought he was paying me a compliment.” She took a deep breath. “My husband concurred.”

She felt a ripping sensation inside her. Exposing herself this way left her raw and vulnerable. Covering it as best as she could with a tight smile, she turned. “So here I am with my little bag of feminine tricks and talent.” It would have been more accurate to say that here she was with all her feminine need and unquenched desire, but she wouldn't say it.

She turned toward Daniel and made herself look at him, determined to do the right thing. “You tempt me, Daniel Pendleton. Yes,” she said, seeing the sensual recognition in his gaze, “you make me think about what I'm missing. You make me think about what it's like to hold and be held. To spend a night so lost in pleasure that night turns to day and day turns to night.” She bit her lip, appalled at all she'd revealed, horrified at what she'd admitted. She shook her head. “But you're a good man. And I'm not going to ruin any more good men. I'm not going to ruin you.”

Several seconds passed in thoughtful silence. Daniel watched Sara and felt even more determined to have her. That she wanted to protect him was precious; ludicrous, but precious. That she thought he was an angel was a problem. “What if I'm not all that good?”

Tension eased from Sara at his response. After her desperate confession, she'd expected something more condemning. “If being responsible were a crime, you'd get life in prison for it.”

“Don't rub it in.” He pushed his hands into his pockets and turned away in frustration. “Do you have any idea what it's like being the oldest of eight? My father nearly lost it after my mother died. That was right around driving age for me. You know, the time when guys play on the football team, take the girls out on Saturday night, and see how far they'll let you go in the backseat. Well, if you're busy trying to cover your old man's butt, then there's no time for that stuff. Carly was little, and when she wasn't crying, she was stuttering. Garth was always getting into trouble. I would have been raising a little hell myself, but—”

Sara began to understand. “But you were too busy raising a family.” She sighed. “Did you ever get to choose, to do what you wanted?”

He slowly turned and met her gaze. “Not until now.”

Sara's stomach tightened. “See,” she said in a softly accusing tone. “I told you you're a good man.”

Daniel shook his head. “I didn't want to do the right things. I was angry and frustrated. I resented all that responsibility.”

She felt an overwhelming need to convince him of his worth. It disturbed her that he didn't seem to realize it. It made her wonder why his family had been so blind. “That's not the point. You did what you had to, anyway.” She stepped forward, touching his arm when he looked skeptical. “You did your best. That's what separates the good men from—” she smiled “—the not-so-good men.”

He took her hand and twined his fingers through hers. “That still leaves me with the same problem. I never got to sow my oats. Never got to go parking on a Saturday night. I'm not without experience,” he confessed. “But I've always been discreet and respectable.” A dangerous light came into his eyes. Tugging her closer, he lifted her hand to his cheek. “Even if it ruins him, Sara, every man needs to have one forbidden affair with a wild woman.”

He moved her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

The warmth of his mouth kindled her nerve endings. Her heart beat unevenly. He darted his tongue out to taste the tender skin on the inside of her wrist, and Sara's breath was squeezed from her lungs.

“I can handle the risk, honey,” he said in a low, husky voice. “Ruin me.”