More Lessons for Laura (5 page)

“I’m sorry; I just need to know…”

“You need nothing, Laura. You simply want.”

“Well, then, I
want
to know what The Gate is.” Before she could say anything I blurted out, “I
really need to know where we’re going.” I could no longer contain my anxiety,
and my dislike for surprises obliterated any prudence from my tone.

She leaned forward and took my hands in hers. “Do you trust
me, Laura?”

“This has nothing to do with trust. I need…”

“Again, you use the word
need
.
I can’t think of one thing you need at this moment that you do not have.”

“I don’t have anything. You left it all behind in my
suitcase.”

“So are you telling me everything you need to be happy is in
that suitcase?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.”

 
“You do not
need any of it to make me happy; so why are we still discussing this?” Her look
was finally a warning, reminding me that she had reclaimed her control the
moment she returned. In fact, I wasn’t certain she’d ever relinquished it, even
when she was gone.

My attitude clearly did not heed the warning.

She let go of my hands just as the waitress placed the
plates in front of us. I sulked at her dismissal of the subject once again and
pushed the food around my plate. My thoughts stewed in the very juices she
squeezed from me with just a look.

“I suggest you eat. Dinner may come very late for you, given
your present behavior.”

When she finished her meal and had given me ample
opportunity to do the same, she picked up the check and stood, waiting for me
to join her.

I sat in the still-moist leather seat and watched her slowly
walk around the front of the car. She sat staring out the windshield for a
moment, and then turned in her seat and looked at me.

“You have a stubborn streak that runs much deeper than I’d
anticipated. You have got to learn to control your behavior. I expect you to
manage your conduct not only in my presence, but with everyone you come in
contact with. That will be very important where we are going.”

My mind immediately flashed back to the party we’d attended
where I wore a dress made of
 
delicate webbed chain, concealing nothing, and was placed on a pedestal,
expected to remain perfectly still while being judged by her friends. Standing
virtually naked for everyone to view and comment on without regard to my
feelings had not been one of my favorite dates and yet had turned into a lesson
in submission that I cherished.

“You will represent me in an environment where you will be
expected to behave as my submissive, not my girlfriend.”

My heart started pounding as I realized why I wouldn’t need
anything I might have packed. If I was to be displayed again, I’d wear whatever
she chose – even if it was nothing. My eyes focused on hers while my
emotions blended fear and excitement into an unexpectedly erotic cocktail.

Thoughts pulsed through my mind. There was no way I could
imagine what I was headed into. Her requirements of me exceeded anything I had
ever imagined in any relationship. How much more could she expect of me? Or a
better question – how much more was I willing to give her?

“It is extremely important that you present well, Laura. It
may determine our future.” She turned back in her seat and started the car. “I
trust you will not disappoint me with any further insolent behavior.”

I was glad she really couldn’t read my thoughts at that
moment.

“The Gate isn’t the time or place to test your boundaries.
My reputation is at stake.”

I sat quietly, while swirling all the possibilities of what
I was walking into. How bad could it be?
No
worse than the party, right?
That thought alone stirred both emotional and
physical confusion. I was desperate to please her, but at what cost to my own
needs – or in her opinion, my wants?

She’d told me once that the psyche of a submissive had to be
a delicate balance of strength and weakness, and that I would do better when I
learned to trust more and challenge less. Trust was a complicated issue for me
and with others had always been crushed immediately after giving into it. The
bitter taste lingered. But only my complete trust in her would allow the depth
of control she desired.

 
Suddenly the
car slowed as we turned onto a long narrow side road marked
Private Property
. Dusk had fallen
without me noticing it or the two hours that passed. The head lamps illuminated
a massive ornate gate under an archway of freshly leafed branches. She stopped
and pressed a code into the security box. Things were looking up. It was some
sort of private resort or estate, as I had imagined from the few cryptic clues
she had dropped to distract my questioning.

The gate opened and she drove through, while ahead I saw the
very large structure, like an old southern estate right out of
Gone with the Wind
. With more rooms than
some hotels, I imagined. I was presently surprised when I saw the immaculate
grounds and illuminated gardens that sprawled to both sides as far as I could
see. She stopped the car just before we reached the circular drive to the
entrance. In the center was a fountain with a sculpture of a life-sized naked
woman kneeling on a pedestal in the very same position in which I had learned
to wait for her. My hopes turned to apprehension. I looked over at her for the
first time since we’d left the restaurant parking lot. Her calm expression did
little to settle me.

“This is where I work.”

“What is it?” I kept my tone and my behavior calm and
respectful, knowing that presentation would take me further than my previous
approach, also knowing it was far too late to retreat.

She hesitated for a moment. Her hands were still on the
wheel and she looked forward at the fountain. “This is a private training
facility.”

“Training for what?”

“Women like you, Laura.” Her eyes came back to mine.

I felt a hot flush rise to the surface of my skin, and my
mind raced to try and keep up with her words.
Women like me?
I knew what she considered ‘training,’ but couldn’t
imagine there being a place to go and be trained in some of the very personal
and intimate ways she had trained me.

“This is a private gathering, by invitation only, and it is
imperative you display your ability to follow instructions. I am confident you
are ready for this level. It will also test your limits and allow us to work
through anything you are lacking before I commit any further.”

All I could do was stare back at her.
Test my limits?
Commit?
My limits had already been tested in ways I had never conceived possible. What
was she committing to? What more would I have to give to prove my willingness
to comply with her need to not only physically but emotionally control me?

 
“You will be
required to display your commitment to me. Everyone must see pride in your
service.”

I still had no idea what was in store for me, but I knew it
wasn’t going to be the vacation I had planned.

She continued. “I know you will make me proud, Laura. You
have learned much more than you think, but you hold it just beneath your skin.
I am hoping this experience will allow you to let it surface.”

She placed her foot back on the gas and slowly continued up
to the front of the house. When she stopped again, my door opened. I turned to
see an outreached hand to assist me from the car. I did not take it. Instead I
turned back to Sydney.

“What if I can’t do this?” I asked. “Why do I need to?”
Panic was starting to take over. She took my face in her hands and kissed me
softly. “I trust you. I do. Can we please just go home?”

“You will be fine, Laura. It is time for you to prove your
trust by doing this – because I ask it of you. Without complete trust,
there is simply no point in us continuing this relationship.”

I had to make another choice, another instant decision that
would most certainly change me from that moment on. Or was there ever a choice
at all?

Trust, Laura. Trust
that she loves you and won’t let any harm come to you. Trust that she means
what she says.

Eyes closed, I turned and took in a deep breath of courage,
and then opened them wide and took my first steps toward absolute trust.

~~~ 5 ~~~

Her words echoed in my head. I had
to do this, or we were done
.
Was that
really what she’d meant? Where was my choice? This wasn’t just a threat. I knew
her well enough to know she never said anything she didn’t mean; idle threats
were not her style. She had shown me a deeper awareness of myself than I had
ever felt before. Stretching beyond what I believed to be my limits made me
realize my inner strength. Now I had to trust that strength. Would I allow my
own inhibitions to stand in the way of the pure happiness I felt with her? She
would not allow me to just tell her I loved or trusted her; I had to prove it.
But what she required as proof went far beyond anything I had ever known about
loyalty and love.

How far was I willing to go to prove to her my commitment?
Apparently much farther than I’d ever imagined. She had introduced me to a
desire that would no longer allow me to hide or deny what I needed and wanted.
It consumed me, both awake and asleep. It drove me from somewhere deep and
unfamiliar. It drove me forward into dark and scary places within me that I
would have never dared to explore with anyone else.

I felt this was a crossroads for not only our relationship
but for myself. I needed to choose a direction, but old ghosts and my inability
to rely on my instincts flooded back.
What
does she expect me to learn by forcing me so far out of my comfort zone?
Am I going to allow her to take me beyond
the point of no return? Am I already standing there?

Lesson Five

“Welcome to The Gate, Miss
Harrington. My name is Ty.” She held her hand toward the wide stone stairway
leading up to the entrance. I looked back, but Sydney was gone. I’d been left
standing at the threshold of something I desperately wanted but feared having,
and bouncing between continuing forward and running back made me dizzy. Sydney’s
words pounded in my heart and propelled me, however fearfully, forward. My
desire for her somehow subdued the anxiety and allowed me to take the first
steps, both physically and emotionally.
Just
move, Laura.

Ty’s hand on the small of my back pushed gently, encouraging
me to start up the stairs. Her persuasion was similar to Sydney’s. Although she
had a delicate touch, her natural control pierced my will to resist. She
stopped just outside the doors. “Please ask any questions now, Ms. Harrington,
because once you enter, you will no longer have the opportunity to speak freely
unless you are requested to do so.”

“If I choose not to go in, what happens? May I leave?”

“Yes, ma’am, you are free to leave.”

“But I’m locked in, right?”

“No. You are secure. The gate will open at the push of a
button.”

Who controlled that
button?
My natural instinct was to always find the escape rout first. “So I
can walk away right now, without Sydney’s permission?”

“Yes, ma’am, but knowing Syd, I don’t advise it.”

It was the first time I’d heard anyone call her Syd. I had
tried it once and she had quickly informed me of how I was to address her. I
was curious and a little pissed at being tricked. Well – maybe not
tricked, but certainly uninformed about what was going on.

“Why am I here?”

 
“I understand
this is your first event, so we will prepare you for each step in the process.”
Her smooth features and deep green eyes intrigued me. She was slightly butch
and just my type; or I should say – my weakness. I had always been
attracted to assertiveness and confidence, and she presented both, mixed with
just enough arrogance to draw me in.

“That doesn’t exactly answer my question.” A sarcastic tone
spilled out; perhaps I knew this would test her actual control. Her
disapproving smirk was similar to many looks I had experienced in the past few
months from Sydney. Were Dommes also trained in a place like this, or was it
simply a style developed over time?

“You are where your Master wishes you to be, Miss
Harrington. I believe that is the answer you were looking for?” Her response
was controlled, in spite of the visible impatience perking just below her
surface.

“What does Sydney do here?”

“That is not an appreciate question. Are you ready to go
inside?”

I took in a deep breath and nodded my head.

“I need a verbal response, Miss Harrington.”

“Fine then, yes!” My reply was curt, somewhat intentionally
so to further test my ground with her. She grasped the knob tightly and her
knuckles went a bit white as she turned it slowly. “Simply ‘Yes’ was the proper
response.”

The door opened and we entered a magnificent foyer. The
marble floors and high domed ceiling reminded me of an old grand hotel.
Beautiful paintings, elegant furnishings, and the scent from large fresh flower
arrangements eased my apprehensions slightly. I think I had expected some sort
of dark torture chamber. Twin grand staircases led my eyes up to the second and
third floor railings. They landed on both floors at large arched double doors.
I followed Ty to a matching set of doors directly in front of us. She turned to
the table on her left and picked up a smooth polished brass ring that hinged
open.

“Please turn around.”

I hesitated, looking at the ring, and then back into her
eyes. There was no change in her expression or her expectation. I reluctantly
turned my back to her. She secured the ring as a collar around my neck and encouraged
me to face her again by rotating me at my shoulders. Her right hand ran under
my hair and across my neck, raising goose bumps over my skin. With one motion
she lifted my long thick hair from beneath the ring. It fell again, resting
cold on my collar bone. Then she opened the heavy door and encouraged me to
enter.