Moonsong (12 page)

“Yeah, wel …” he said.

“You’l find that the other Vitales are the ones who can understand you best,” Ethan said. “They’l be the ones who wil stand by you al through col ege, and for the rest of your life.” He smiled. “At least, that’s what’s happened to me.

I’ve been watching you, Matt,” he went on.

Matt tensed. Something about Ethan cut through the bubble-wrap feeling, but not in the comforting way Chloe did. Now Matt felt exposed instead of protected. The sharpness of his gaze, maybe, or the way Ethan always seemed to believe so strongly in whatever he was saying.

“Yeah?” Matt said warily.

Ethan grinned. “Don’t look so paranoid. It’s a good thing. Every Vitale pledge is special, that’s why they’re chosen, but every year there’s one who’s even more special, who’s a leader among leaders. I can see that, in this group, it’s you, Matt.”

Matt cleared his throat. “Real y?” he said, flattered, not knowing quite what to say. No one had ever cal ed him a leader before.

“I’ve got big plans for the Vitale Society this year,” Ethan said, his eyes shining. “We’re going to go down in history.

We’re going to be more powerful than we’ve ever been.

Our futures are bright.”

Matt gave a half smile and nodded. When Ethan talked, his voice warm and persuasive, those golden eyes steady on Matt’s, Matt could see it, too. The Vitales leading not just the campus but, someday, the world. Matt himself would be transformed from the ordinary guy he knew he had always been into someone confident and clear-eyed, a leader among leaders, like Ethan said. He could picture it al .

“I want you to be my right-hand man here, Matt,” Ethan said. “You can help me lead these pledges into greatness.” Matt nodded again and, Ethan’s eyes on his, felt a flush of pride, the first good thing he’d felt since Chris’s death.

He would lead the Vitales, standing by Ethan’s side.

Everything would be better. The path was clear ahead.

Indeed, Keynes posited that economic activity was determined by aggregate demand. For the fifteenth time in half an hour, Stefan read the sentence without beginning to comprehend it.

It al just seemed so pointless. He’d tried to distract himself by investigating the murder on campus, but it had only made him more anxious that he couldn’t be by Elena’s side, seeing to it himself that she was safe. He closed the book and dropped his head into his hands.

Without Elena, what was he doing here?

He would have fol owed her anywhere. She was so beautiful it hurt him to look at her sometimes, like it hurt to stare into the sun. She shone like that sun with her golden hair and lapis lazuli eyes, her delicate creamy skin that held just the faintest touch of pink.

But there was more to Elena than beauty. Her beauty alone wouldn’t have held Stefan’s attention for long. In fact, her resemblance to Katherine had nearly driven him away.

But under her cool y beautiful exterior was a quicksilver mind that was always working, making plans, and a heart that was fiercely protective of everyone she loved.

Stefan had spent centuries searching for something to make him feel alive again, and he’d never felt as certain of anything as he did about Elena. She was it, the only one for him.

Why couldn’t she be as sure of him? No matter what Elena said about Stefan being the one, the fact remained: the only two girls he’d loved in his long, long life both loved not just Stefan but his brother, too.

Stefan closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers, then shoved himself away from the desk. Maybe he was hungry. In a few quick strides, he crossed his white-painted room, through the mix of his own elegant possessions and the cheap school-issued furniture, and was out on the balcony. Outside, the night smel ed of jasmine and car exhaust. Stefan reached tendrils of Power gently into the night, questing, feeling for … something …

there. A tiny mind quickened in response to his.

His hearing, sharper than a human’s, picked up the faint whine of sonar, and a smal , furry bat landed on the balcony railing, drawn in by his Power. Stefan picked it up, keeping up a gentle thrum of Power between his mind and the bat’s, and it gazed at him tamely, its little fox face alert.

Stefan lowered his head and drank, careful not to take too much from the little creature. He grimaced at the taste and then released the bat, which flapped tentatively, a little dazed, then picked up speed and was lost again in the night.

He hadn’t been terribly hungry, but the blood cleared his mind. Elena was so young. He had to remember that. She was stil younger than he’d been when he became a vampire, and she needed time to experience life, for her path to lead her back to Stefan. He could wait. He had al the time in the world.

But he missed her so much.

Gathering his strength, he leaped from the balcony and landed lightly on the ground below. There was a flower bed there, and he reached into it, feeling petals as soft as silk.

A daisy, fresh and innocent. He plucked it and went back inside the dorm, using the front entrance this time.

Outside Elena’s door, he hesitated. He could hear the slight sounds of her moving around in there, smel her distinctive, intoxicating scent. She was alone, and he was tempted to just knock. Maybe she was longing for him, just as he longed for her. If they were alone, would she melt into his arms despite herself?

Stefan shook his head, his mouth tight. He had to respect Elena’s wishes. If she needed time apart, he could give her that. Looking at the white daisy, he slowly balanced it on top of Elena’s doorknob. She would find the flower and know that it was from him.

Stefan wanted Elena to know that he could wait for her, if that was what she needed, but that he was thinking of her, always.

15

As she headed for the door of her dorm room, Elena rummaged through her bag, checking off a mental list: wallet, keys, phone, lip gloss, eyeliner, hairbrush, student ID. As she swung the door open, something fluttered to the ground.

A perfect white daisy had fal en to the floor. Elena reached down and picked it up. Turning it in her hand, she felt a sudden sharp ache in her chest. God, I miss Stefan.

She had no doubt the daisy was from him. It was just like him to let her know he was thinking of her while stil respecting her space.

The ache in her chest was slowly replaced with a sweet glowing feeling. It seemed so sil y and artificial to avoid talking to Stefan. She loved him. And, beyond that, he was one of her best friends. Elena pul ed out her phone to cal him.

And then she stopped. Taking a deep breath, she put the phone back into her bag.

If she talked to Stefan, she would want to see him. If she saw him, she would want to touch him. If she touched him, it would al be over. She would find herself fal ing into him, entangled in love. And then she would look up and see Damon’s dark unfathomable eyes watching them and feel that pul toward him. And then the brothers would look at each other, and love and pain and fury would pass over their faces, and everything would start up again.

It had felt good to walk away from them for a while, even though it was heartbreaking and awful and terribly lonely, too. But, since then, Elena had felt a calm settle over her.

She wasn’t happy, exactly—it was like she was covered with bruises, and if she wasn’t careful, pain would flood over her as she remembered what she had done. But she also felt as if she had been holding her breath for weeks and now was able to exhale.

She knew that Stefan would be waiting for her when she was ready to face him again. Wasn’t that what the daisy meant?

She tucked the flower inside her bag and set off down the hal , her heels clicking firmly. Elena was going to go out with her friends, she was going to have fun, and she wasn’t going to think about Stefan, or Damon. Or even the disappearances, or Christopher’s death. Elena sighed under the weight of it al . For days, they had been mourning, and now Elena and her friends needed to embrace life again. They deserved an evening of freedom. They needed to remember what they were fighting for.

“There she is,” Elena heard Bonnie say as she entered the crowded bar. “Elena! Over here!”

Bonnie, Meredith, and a girl Elena didn’t know were sitting at a smal table near the dance floor. They had invited Matt to come out with them, but he’d said he had to study, his face politely closed off, and they knew he wasn’t ready yet and that he needed some time alone.

Meredith, graceful and relaxed, gave Elena a cool smile in greeting and introduced her friend Samantha. Samantha was lean, bright eyed, and alert. She seemed like she had energy to spare, shifting from side to side, chatting without stopping.

Bonnie, too, was clearly on tonight and started talking as soon as Elena reached the table. Bonnie was brave, Elena thought. Christopher’s death had shocked her, and she was as worried about Matt as any of them, but she would stick out her chin and smile and gossip and go on with life just as hard as she could, because they had decided that was what tonight would be about.

“I got you a Coke,” Bonnie said. “They carded me, so I couldn’t get anything else. Guess what?” She paused dramatical y. “I cal ed Zander, and he said he’d definitely try to make it here tonight. I can’t wait for you guys to meet him!” Bonnie was practical y bouncing out of her seat with excitement, red curls flipping everywhere.

“Who’s Zander?” asked Samantha innocently.

Meredith gave Elena a sly glance. “You know, I’m not sure,” she said with mock confusion. “Bonnie, tel us about him.”

“Yes,” Elena added, smirking. “I don’t think you’ve mentioned him at al , have you?”

“Shut up, you guys,” Bonnie said amiably, and, leaning over the table to Samantha, started to extol al of Zander’s virtues to her fresh audience. Elena let her mind wander.

She’d heard it al , night after night in their dorm lately: Zander’s eyes, Zander’s smile, Zander’s bashful charm, Zander’s very hot bod (Bonnie’s words). How Zander and Bonnie studied together in a tucked-away corner of the library and Zander brought Bonnie secret snacks even though it was totally against the library rules. The way they talked on the phone every night, the long velvety pauses when it seemed like Zander was on the verge of whispering something intimate, something no one but Bonnie could know, but then instead he would make a joke that made Bonnie laugh like crazy. There was something so sweet about Bonnie with a crush. Elena real y hoped this guy was worthy of her.

“He hasn’t kissed me yet,” Bonnie added, eyes wide.

“Soon, though. I hope.”

“The very first kiss,” Samantha said, and wiggled her eyebrows. “Maybe tonight?” Bonnie just giggled in response.

That ache was back in Elena’s chest, and she pressed her hand against her sternum. During her first kiss with Stefan, the world had fal en away and there had been just the two of them, lips and souls touching. Everything had seemed so clear then.

She took a deep breath and wil ed away tears. She wasn’t going to remember anything tonight; she was just going to have a good time with her friends.

Having Samantha there, Elena soon realized, was going to be a huge help with that. If it had been just Elena, Meredith, and Bonnie, they would have ended up discussing Christopher’s murder and the disappearances on campus, combing obsessively over the very few things they knew and theorizing about everything they didn’t. But with Samantha there, they had to keep the conversation light.

Somehow Bonnie got off the topic of wonderful Zander and on to palm reading. “Look,” she said to Samantha.

“See the line that crosses down your palm, across the other three lines? That’s a fate line, not everybody has that.”

“What does it mean?” Samantha said, gazing at her own palm with great interest.

“Wel ,” Bonnie said, her brow furrowing, “it changes direction a lot—see here? and here?—which means that your destiny is going to change because of outside forces influencing you.”

“Hmm,” Samantha said. “How about love? Wil I meet somebody amazing tonight?”

“No,” Bonnie said slowly, and her voice changed, taking on a flat, almost metal ic, tone. Elena glanced up quickly to see that Bonnie’s pupils were dilated, her eyes looking away from Samantha’s palm into the distance. “Not tonight.

But there’s someone waiting for you who wil change everything. You’l meet him soon.”

“Bonnie,” Meredith said sharply. “Are you okay?” Bonnie blinked, and her eyes snapped back into focus.

“Of course,” she said, sounding confused. “What do you mean?”

Elena and Meredith exchanged a glance—had Bonnie slipped into a vision? Before they could question her, a whole group of guys was suddenly at their table, laughing, shouting, swearing. Elena frowned up at them.

“Hey, gorgeous,” one said, staring down at Elena.

“Wanna dance?”

Elena started to shake her head, but another of the guys dropped into the seat next to Bonnie and threw his arm around her. “Hey,” he said. “Did you miss me?”

“Zander!” Bonnie exclaimed, her cheeks pink with delight.

So this was Zander, Elena thought, and watched him covertly as his three friends settled at the table, too, introducing themselves cheerful y, seeming to make the maximum amount of noise dragging chairs over and jockeying to sit next to the girls. Zander was cute, sure, she had to admit that. Pale blond hair and a gorgeous smile.

She didn’t real y like the way he was pul ing Bonnie close, turning her head toward him, his hands running restlessly over her shoulders even as he talked over her head to his friends. It seemed real y possessive for a guy who hadn’t even kissed her yet. Elena looked over at Meredith to see if she was thinking the same thing.

Meredith was listening, with an amused smile, to the guy next to her—Marcus, she thought his name was—Zander’s friend with the shaggy brown hair, explaining his weight-lifting routine.

“Shots,” another friend of Zander’s said succinctly, joining them with a tray ful of shot glasses. “Let’s play quarters.”

Bonnie giggled. “They’re not al owed to serve us here.

We’re underage.”

The guy grinned. “S’alright. I paid for them, not you.”