Moonlight (18 page)

Would he be willing to die for me? Did I want him to be willing?

Of course not. But it was still a turn-on to know he took protecting me so seriously. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about the “mate” angle yet. I couldn’t deny that I’d been drawn to him from the beginning—with a fierceness that had been so scary, I’d shoved the attraction away and focused on Mason. What I’d felt for Mason, I could deal with. What I felt for Lucas was out of control.

It was even scarier to think maybe Lucas was thinking the same thing about me—but he was strong enough to control it.

As we walked he would suddenly become very still to listen and to sniff the air. It was a rush to think that soon my senses would be heightened—if I truly was a Shifter. It just seemed impossible.

I probably should have been paying attention to how he was checking things out. I should have been trying to learn whatever it was I was supposed to learn. Instead I was thinking about clothes. Shifting into a wolf was going to be hell on my wardrobe. And what was I supposed to do? Have hidden stashes of clothes all over the place?

“Yes,” he said quietly, then stiffened.

But he didn’t go as rigid as I did.

“You can read my thoughts even when you’re not in wolf form,” I accused.

He plowed his strong fingers through his gorgeous hair. “Only when I’m concentrating on you.”

“And you’re concentrating on me now?”

“How can I not? You smell so good—”

“Are you kidding me? I’m filthy.”

“But beneath that is the natural fragrance of your skin. That’s what I smell.” He started striding back toward the clearing. “Come on. Let’s take a swim.”

I nearly tripped trying to keep up with him. I was still somewhat in shock over the fact that he was so aware of me, was smelling my skin. “So what? You’ve got bathing suits stashed in boxes somewhere in that cave?”

He glanced over his shoulder and gave me an utterly wicked grin. “Who needs bathing suits? Haven’t you ever heard of skinny-dipping?”

Okay, there was a chance that tomorrow night he was going to see me in the flesh before he saw me in fur, but I still made him turn his back while I stripped out of my clothes and dove into the pool. It was cool, refreshing, and amazingly clear. When I broke through to the surface, he was already in the water, several feet away. So maybe he was a little bashful, too, about being naked in front of me. Even though I’d already seen his backside.

Treading water, I asked, “So that tattoo on your shoulder. What’s it mean?”

“Every male gets a tattoo when he’s ready to declare the girl he has chosen to be his mate. It represents her name, written in the ancient language of our pack.”

“Who did you choose?”

He gave me a look that asked if I was really that dense.

“Oh.” I swallowed hard. I was totally amazed that he could feel something that strongly and not let on. How could he declare his feelings to a tattoo artist without knowing if I returned them? “I didn’t even think you noticed me last summer.”

“Oh, I noticed. It was like
bam
, right to the gut.”

“You didn’t say anything.”

“You’d just turned sixteen and were still in high school, and I was going off to college.”

“I’m still in high school and you’re still in college.”

“But you’re older. And it’s just a year until you’re finished with high school. Once you graduate, you could go to the same university I do.”

“So I’ll see my adopted parents again?”

“Sure. You’ll return home at the end of summer—a little different than you were when you arrived here.”

That’s an understatement.
Even if I didn’t shift, I was never going to forget everything I’d learned—and I’d be looking everywhere for Shifters.

“We live out in the world, among the Statics,” he continued. “Pretty normal. Or as normal as we can be when we’re charged with guarding the secret of our existence.”

I was still dumbstruck by what he’d decided last summer when he met me. “But the decisions you made last summer about us—what if you never saw me again?”

“I knew where you lived, Kayla. I would have come for you, if Lindsey hadn’t convinced you to join us here this summer. I wouldn’t have let you discover the truth about yourself alone.”

“So Lindsey knew what you felt.”

“Yeah, but there’s a code. You don’t tell someone who a guy has chosen.”

I was flattered—and unnerved.

As though he was a typical guy who wasn’t comfortable discussing his feelings, he began to swim across the pool. Long, powerful strokes. The muscles in his back bunching and flexing. The tattoo—my name in ancient letters—seemed to pulse.

He’d made a commitment to me without knowing if I’d ever reciprocate. I was immensely flattered, but I also felt incredibly overwhelmed. The depths of what he felt for me went beyond anything I’d ever felt for a guy. And yet, I couldn’t deny there was something between us.

I started to backstroke in the opposite direction, realized I was flashing a little more than I wanted to, and went back to dog-paddling. Or in my case, I suppose it was actually wolf-paddling.

He came back toward me and stopped about two feet away.

“Your tattoo. Rafe has one similar to it.”

“Yeah.”

My eyes widened. “He’s a were—” I stopped myself in the nick of time. “He’s a Shifter?”

“Yes.”

“Whose name is on his back?”

“I can’t tell you. I took an oath of secrecy.”

Well, that was irritating. It wasn’t that I was a gossip, but I was very curious.

“What if you guess wrong?” I asked. “What if you misread the feeling? What if the girl doesn’t feel for you what you feel for her?” I had so many questions. I didn’t really understand how this mate thing worked, but it seemed bigger than either of us.

“It’s a bummer. You go through life with some chick’s name on your shoulder, and no other girl is going to want you because you gave your devotion to someone else first.”

“That’s harsh.”

“It ensures we don’t choose lightly.”

It was really overwhelming to think he’d selected me—or destiny had. I wasn’t quite sure how this whole fate/mate thing worked. “But you barely knew me last summer.”

“I knew enough, Kayla. For us, when you meet your soul mate . . . you just
know
. I don’t know how to explain it. Didn’t you feel anything when you met me?”

“Scared,” I admitted. “Overwhelmed. I definitely noticed you, but I never thought about you and me. I mean, look at you! You’re older, hot, in shape . . . and I’m all crazy red hair and freckles.”

He grinned. “I like your red hair and freckles. And I like that you have an inner strength that I don’t think you recognize. You took a big risk freeing me from that cage.”

“What they did was wrong.”

“But not everyone would have done anything about it. And when you were beating down on Mason—I loved it.”

I felt the heat of embarrassment warm my face. “I can’t believe I fell for all his smooth talking.”

“He fooled a lot of people.”

“Not you.”

“I had some suspicions, but that’s all they were. I come from a society that for centuries has been persecuted based on witch hunts. I don’t make accusations without proof.”

Even if waiting for that proof had nearly cost him his freedom, maybe even his life.

“What about Connor? And Brittany? Are they—” My mind was suddenly reeling.

“Most sherpas are. It’s how we control what part of the wilderness Statics are allowed to see. If we kept them out completely, they’d get suspicious. As it is, we guide them where we want them to go and keep them away from where we don’t want them to be.”

“Mason believes there’s a village somewhere out here.”

His face went all hard, his eyes like smoothly polished stones. “Yeah. I’m still trying to figure out how he got tipped off to that. I mean, there are legends, but he seemed to be just a little too sure.”

In my surprise, I forgot to keep treading water. I went under, closing my mouth just in time to avoid having to resurface sputtering. I really do like to limit just how foolish I look. I pushed myself back up.

Now Lucas had a quizzical look on his face that reminded me of a dog tilting its head in confusion. I would have laughed if I weren’t still absorbing what he’d said. “There’s really a village?”

“Wolford. The elders live there. The rest of us meet up there for the summer solstice. It’s pretty well hidden. No way will kooky Keane and his robotic followers find it.”

I wasn’t so sure, but I was thinking of something else he’d said. “Why are you trying to figure out how they got tipped off? You like puzzles? You’re the strategist?”

“I thought you figured it out. I’m the pack leader. The alpha male of the group.”

I didn’t know why I didn’t realize it before. The way Rafe deferred to him. I’d always thought Lucas was just the one in charge of the sherpas.

“So how does that work? Do the
elders
you mentioned vote on it?”

“No. You fight for it. While in wolf form. You challenge and take out the current leader.”

Like wild animals? What was he? Man or beast?

“And that’s what you did? Just beat him up?”

He held my gaze as though he needed to judge my reaction to his words. “It’s a fight to the death.”

This time when I stopped treading water and went under, I wasn’t sure I wanted to surface. There were things about his society that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be part of.

FOURTEEN

“Devlin was pack leader before me.”

Lucas and I were no longer in the water. We were dressed again and lying on a blanket near the pond but far enough away that the waterfall didn’t drown out our words. This place seemed too peaceful for everything I was learning about Lucas. The sky was so incredibly blue, with fluffy white clouds drifting by. When darkness arrived, I’d be that much closer to a full moon. My body tingled with the thought—as though it couldn’t wait. But psychologically, I couldn’t accept that I was going to go all furry. I’d broken my arm when I was eight. They’d taken X-rays. Surely a Shifter’s bones were different, were multijointed. How else could they transform from a human to such a different creature? It was inconceivable to me.

“I didn’t get a chance to kill him,” Lucas said, and I heard the disappointment in his voice. “He ran off, like a coward. So my ascension to the role of pack leader is a little tainted.”

I rolled my head to the side and studied his handsome profile. He was focused on the sky. Maybe telling me all the dark secrets about his past was as hard for him as it was for me. I couldn’t imagine killing anyone—but to do it to gain power . . . I wanted to understand Lucas, but his was a scary world.

“Why did you want to be in charge?” I asked.

He turned his head to watch me. “Devlin was an incredibly bad leader. He kept putting the others at risk. Taking chances. Exposing the existence of our society. He had to be stopped. But in the end I didn’t stop him. I’m pretty sure the black wolf you saw—it was him.”

“So when you said he had a wolf for a pet . . . ?”

“I was twisting the truth. Sometimes we have to do that. Just like the night Keane was talking about werewolves and we were all making fun of it like it was ludicrous.”

I could see where a lot of fast thinking would have to take place in order to not give things away.

“So you think maybe he’s how the Keanes found out about you . . . the Shifters?”

He gave me a dark grin. “About you, too. You’re one of us.”

“Yeah.” He was convinced. I wasn’t. Bummer for him if he’d chosen a non-Shifter. I sat up and crossed my legs beneath me. “I know I should probably be thrilled about that—”

“It’s a lot to wrap your head around,” he said as he shoved himself up on an elbow.

“Do I need to do something to prepare?” It seemed like I should do something. Obviously I no longer had a reason to shave my legs. I ran my hand over my bare legs, and tried to make light of what I couldn’t really accept. “As a wolf, will my legs be bald if I shave?”

“Was my wolf face bald?”

I released a self-conscious laugh. “No. You actually were as gorgeous as a wolf as you are . . .” I let my voice trail off. Had I really wanted to confess that?

He gave me a crooked grin. “You think I’m cute.”

“Cute, no! Definitely not. Beautiful . . . yes.”

He pushed up until he was sitting and leaned toward me. “I think you’re beautiful, too. I’ve thought that from the first time I saw you.”

I felt myself grow pleasantly warm. “Is that the reason you looked at me all the time?”

“Yeah. I figured you’d see how I felt. Guess it was kinda creepy, though, having this guy watch you and never talk to you.”

“You don’t seem the shy type.”

“The first time I saw you it was like something had slammed into my chest. Seriously. I didn’t think I was ever going to breathe right again. I didn’t know what to say to you.”

He skimmed his fingers along my cheek. Looking at him now, he appeared to be any normal teenage boy.

“The night before the sherpas left, you and Rafe had an argument.”

“Yeah. He knew you were one of us, thought I was being irresponsible to leave you behind. But I didn’t want to force you to go, to make you resent me, and I hadn’t figured out how to tell you yet about our abilities. And okay, to be honest, I was jealous that you were so into Mason.”