Monster Madness (2 page)

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Authors: Dean Lorey

BOOK: Monster Madness
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He glanced around to make sure no creatures were lying in wait, then lifted the handle on the cabinet. It released with a satisfying click, and Charlie opened the door to reveal a treasure trove of Banishing gear: tracking devices and spare rapiers; bags of flour for crippling Netherbats; flashlights for herding Ectobogs; traps for capturing Snarks; and various elixirs to heal a wound, counteract poison, or stop the spread of disease from a monster’s bite. It was everything a Banisher needed for a confrontation with even the wildest of wildlife from the Nether.

“No way!” Theodore exclaimed. “When did you put all this together?”

“Been working on it.” Charlie shrugged, although he was secretly incredibly proud of himself. “I figured, why carry around the million different things you might need during a Banishing? Why not just stow it all in the Nether, where it’s only a portal away?”

“Genius. Pure genius.”

“I gotta tell you,” Violet added, “that’s pretty amazing.”

“And check this out,” Charlie said happily, pleased by their praise. He reached into the back of the cabinet and pulled out a heavy, metal object. It was the size and shape of a toaster and had numerous switches and lights on it.

“What’s that crazy-looking thing?” Theodore asked.

“Watch.” Charlie stepped back into the bedroom. With a wave of his hand, he closed the portal behind him and then set the metal contraption on the floor next to the bed. He flipped a switch. The strange device began to hum as the lights on it glowed.

“It’s actually just a modified car battery,” Charlie explained. “It doesn’t last as long as a regular one, but it puts out a ton more juice.”

“It’s a Gremlin attractor!” Violet exclaimed.

Charlie nodded. “The little pests can’t resist this thing. Just watch. It won’t take long for those electricity junkies to show up.”

It didn’t.

Dora’s closet door swung open with a creak, and a monkeylike creature with orange fur, a long tail, and a wide jaw scrambled through. The electricity inside the battery drew the Gremlin like a magnet—it didn’t even seem to notice the humans.

“That thing was living in my closet?” Dora asked incredulously.

“Yup,” Charlie answered. “And I bet it’s not the only one around.”

It wasn’t.

Moments later, a second Gremlin dropped into the room through an air vent in the ceiling, and a third came running in from the hallway, brushing past Dora’s father as it did. All three creatures crowded around the battery and began gnawing at it with their thick teeth, trying to get to the delicious electricity coursing inside.

“Sweet!” Theodore exclaimed. “That looks like all of them, so I’ll just go ahead and banish them back to the Nether real quick…”

He stepped toward the creatures, but Charlie put out a hand to stop him.

“What?”

“Why don’t you let the Banisher do the banishing?” Charlie nodded to Violet.

“Oh, come on,” Theodore moaned. “I can do it. They’re just Gremlins—they’re the trash of the Nether!”

“I know you can do it, but she can do it much better, just like you can portal way better than she can.”

“Portaling is for sissies,” Theodore grumbled. Even after six months of training, he still regretted not having been picked as a Banisher by the Trout of Truth, but he stepped aside to let Violet approach. The old, pitted dagger she kept between her belt and her jeans glowed a dim electric blue as she neared the Nethercreatures.

One by one, they stopped chewing on the battery and took notice of her and her glowing blade.

“Hi, little fellas,” she said. Then, with truly magnificent speed, she snatched two of them up by the scruff of the neck. They shrieked furiously, trying to snap at her with their filthy mouths. “Bite me and I’ll bite you back,” she threatened, then nodded to the remaining Gremlin by the battery. “Theodore, you wanna help me out and grab that last one?”

“Sure thing!”

As he reached for the creature, a black tentacle suddenly shot out from underneath Dora’s bed. It snatched the Gremlin and yanked it into the darkness.

“What was that?” Charlie yelled.

The captured Gremlin started squealing as if in terrible pain, then went suddenly, ominously silent.

Next came the crunching sounds.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Dora said, clutching her stomach. “Do something…”

But, before anyone could, two more tentacles shot out, snatched the remaining Gremlins right out of Violet’s hands, and yanked them into the darkness under the bed.

More squealing. More crunching sounds.

“What is that thing?” Dora’s father asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“I’ll check it out.” Theodore set the panic horn on the nightstand and looked under the bed.

“Be careful…,” Charlie warned.

“Hey. Relax. It’s me.”

A heaving mass of flesh pulsed softly in the shadows, black and shiny as motor oil, with two red eyes and an irregular mouth full of twisty, sharp teeth. As the thing finished chewing the last of the Gremlins, its body expanded until its slick back touched the bottom of the box spring.

“Wow!” Theodore exclaimed. “She’s got a Darkling! Looks like a Class 2!”

Three black tentacles exploded from the front of the oozing creature and snaked wetly around Theodore’s face.

“It’s got me!” he shrieked.

Then—with one quick, strong tug—the Darkling yanked Theodore under the bed and into its drooling, toothy mouth….

CHAPTER TWO

ATTACK OF THE DANGEROOS

“Honk the panic horn! Honk the panic horn!” Theodore screamed as the Darkling’s glistening forest of teeth opened wide to swallow him.

“No, we got ya!” Charlie yelled as he and Violet leaped on Theodore’s legs, trying to pull him away from the grip of those terrible black tentacles—but to no avail. Charlie was amazed by how strong the filthy thing was.

“It’s not working!” Theodore screeched. He could feel wet pieces of Gremlin dangling on his face as they hung from the teeth of the vicious creature. “Just honk the panic horn!”

“If we honk it, we fail the exam!” Violet said.

“If you don’t honk it, I fail my life!”

Charlie turned to Dora and her father. “Pull the bed away from the Darkling—expose it to the light!”

The large man looked worried. “But what if it bites—”

“Just pull it!” Theodore shrieked, his voice spiraling to crazy, girlish heights.

Dora and her father grabbed hold of the bed and yanked it to the side, uncovering the Darkling beneath. As soon as the light from the room touched it, the creature howled in pain and let Theodore go, sending Charlie and Violet flying backward. It quickly retreated into the familiar shadows under the bed, where it pulsated quietly in the darkness.

There was silence then as all of them caught their breath. Finally, Theodore spoke:

“When I say honk the panic horn…you honk the panic horn, you got me?”

“Everything was under control,” Charlie replied. “The Darkling wanted the darkness more than it wanted you. Don’t worry, we wouldn’t have let it eat you.”

“Well, that’s comforting! Why don’t you climb under the bed and give it a good-night kiss? Don’t worry, I won’t let it eat you.”

“And I don’t want it to eat my daughter,” Dora’s father said. “But it’s still under her bed. How are you gonna get rid of it?”

“Not sure,” Violet replied. “I know that sunlight kills them—they absorb light, which is why it’s so incredibly gloomy in here, but they can’t absorb that much light. Unfortunately, it’s nighttime right now.”

“We could wait till morning,” Theodore suggested.

“And fail the exam? We have less than an hour before our time’s up, and it’s still nine more hours till sunup.”

“Not in China,” Charlie said, turning to them. “It’s on the other side of the Earth, so it’s already daytime there.”

“So what?” Theodore replied. “We can’t exactly bring the Darkling to China.”

“No, but we can bring China to the Darkling—or at least its sun. That is, if we work together.”

Theodore thought about that for a second, and then a wide grin broke out across his face. “You, sir, are a supergenius.”

After a minute of struggling, Theodore finally managed to open a portal to the 1st Ring of the Nether.

“Good job,” Violet said.

The skinny boy flushed with pride. “Ah, I’m still nowhere near as fast as portal master over there.” He nodded to Charlie. “After all, he is the DT.”

The DT.

The Double-Threat.

Charlie hated the term. He never asked to be a Double-Threat (or a DT as Theodore insisted on calling him)—he was just born that way. As far as Charlie was concerned, the ability to Banish and Nethermance was more of a curse than a blessing. Everyone else with the Gift could do only one or the other, and it made him crazy to be so different from them. In fact, the Headmaster of the Nightmare Academy was the only other Double-Threat in existence, which made him feel like that much more of a freak.

“I may be a little bit quicker at opening portals,” Charlie replied, somewhat defensively, “but it’s still gonna take both of us to do this thing—no one can open more than one portal at the same time.”

“Duh,” Theodore said. “Tell me something I don’t know. I opened mine—now you open yours.”

“Okay, get ready. Here we go.” Charlie stepped through Theodore’s portal and into the Nether. He extended his hand and closed his eyes. Moments later, purple flame crackled across him, and he opened up a portal that looked out on top of the Great Wall of China. Camera-wielding tourists screamed and stumbled backward, startled by the otherworldly sight.

Brilliant sunlight flooded through Charlie’s portal—illuminating the rocky landscape of the 1st ring of the Nether—then continued on through Theodore’s portal and into Dora’s small room beyond, filling it with light.

The Darkling instantly recoiled farther under the bed, desperately seeking protection in the shadows.

“Pull the mattress off!” Charlie yelled. “Expose it to the sun!”

Violet grabbed one side of the worn mattress as Dora’s father grabbed the other.

“On three,” she said. “One…two…”

They yanked the mattress off the bed, allowing the sunlight to blast the cowering Darkling below. The monster howled in agony as its skin sizzled and popped like the bubbles on a cheese pizza. Within moments, it liquefied into an oily pool that drained away through the floorboards.

Everyone stared in amazement.

“Is it…?” Dora’s father asked.

“Yeah,” Charlie replied. “It’s dead. Great job, everyone.” He waved his hand and dismissed the portal to China. The blazing sunlight disappeared as if turned off by a switch.

“Wow!” Dora said, looking around. “I can’t believe it. It’s so bright in here now!”

“Get rid of a Darkling, get rid of the darkness,” Charlie said with a grin as he stepped through Theodore’s portal and back into Dora’s bedroom.

“Plus,” Theodore added, “now that the Gremlins are toast, you can start making toast again—your electricity shouldn’t be so funky now that they’re gone. And we did it all on our own! Congratulations, Addys!”

But, before they could celebrate, a reeking, green-furred creature the size of a refrigerator leaped through Theodore’s still-open portal and landed on the hardwood floor of the bedroom with a loud crash. It stood upright, like a giant kangaroo, and had two thick, powerful legs and a wide pouch on its expansive belly. It howled obscenely as syrupy drool dripped from its long front fangs.

“What is that?” Violet said, startled.

Suddenly, the beast snatched her with its two strong forepaws, lifted her high into the air, and stuffed her, screaming, into its large front pouch. It turned and leaped back through Theodore’s portal, escaping into the Nether beyond.

“It’s got her!” Charlie shouted. “Theodore, honk the panic horn!”

“Oh, sure—when I almost get eaten, it’s all ‘we got you, Theodore—don’t honk the panic horn,’ but when Violet gets snatched, suddenly the world’s gonna end!”

“Hurry! It’s getting away! Just honk the stupid horn already!”

“Fine.” Theodore grabbed it from the nightstand. “But I just want to point out that compared to Banishers, Nethermancers are second-class citizens. We’re Dopey to their Snow White. We’re—”

“JUST HONK THE HORN!”

“OKAY!”

Theodore honked the panic horn.

Moments later, Rex came bursting through the bedroom door, followed by Pinch and Tabitha.

“What’s going on?” she shouted.

“One of those things grabbed Violet!” Charlie pointed to a monstrous herd of the creatures as they neared the open portal.

Rex’s eyes narrowed. “Son of a gun: Dangeroos. Class 4’s by the look of their tails.”

“The correct term is Netherleapers,” Pinch said with a sniff.

“Aw, c’mon, Pinch, not every dang creature can start with Nether. Netherleapers, Netherstalkers, Netherbats—when’s the madness gonna end?”

“Well, don’t yell at me,” Pinch replied. “I didn’t name them—the Nightmare Division did.”

“They’ve got Violet!” Charlie shouted. “Can we please do something!”

“Sure, kid,” Rex said. “Follow me. Everyone else, stay here.” He leaped through the portal and onto the 1st Ring.

The horrific stink of the approaching Dangeroos made Charlie’s eyes water. “They look hungry,” he said, backing away.

“Yeah,” Rex replied. “There’s nothing a Dangeroo likes more than chowin’ down on a nice, tasty McHuman burger.”

Charlie went pale. “What’s gonna happen to Violet?”

“Aw, don’t worry—they like to tenderize their food first. Your basic Dangeroo’ll stick ya in their pouch and hop around a bit before eating ya. Heck, she’s prolly got a good five minutes before the one that took her starts to feed.”

“Starts to feed…” Charlie felt nauseous.

“Now, get ready.” Rex unlooped his lasso. It glowed a brilliant blue. “I think I see our ride. Hold on to my waist. Hold tight.”

Charlie did as he was told just as Rex lashed out with his lasso. It arrowed away from him like a lightning bolt, and the noose at the end settled around the neck of the nearest Dangeroo—a particularly tall one whose right eye glowed a milky, sightless white.

“Gotcha!”

The Dangeroo bolted into the air, and Rex and Charlie were yanked after it like a tin can tied to a car bumper. The acceleration nearly knocked the wind out of them. As they soared up, Charlie was startled to see how high they were—the 1st Ring of the Nether stretched out beneath them like a blue picnic blanket. His eyes were suddenly drawn to brilliant purple flashes that winked on and off like fireflies.

Portals, he realized with astonishment. Those purple flashes are portals created by kids having nightmares!

“Hang on!” Rex yelled as the Dangeroo arced back down toward the ground with sickening speed. “This is the tricky part!”

Charlie clamped his arms around Rex’s waist as Rex shimmied along the rope until he was close enough to the Dangeroo to be able to grab on to its stinking, hairy back. The monster finished its descent and slammed into the hard earth, absorbing the impact in its piston-like legs. Then it sprang forward once again, rocketing high into the air. As it did, Rex yanked on the fiery blue lasso, causing the Dangeroo to gasp for breath.

“What are you doing?” Charlie shouted.

“Gotta break it—show it who’s boss, same way you’d tame a wild horse.”

The Dangeroo, straining against the noose, slammed back into the ground with less grace this time. It tumbled forward and then regained its footing. Charlie struggled to hold on as Rex pulled hard on the rope.

“Give it up, ya filthy thing! You ain’t gonna win this one!”

The lasso sizzled against the monster’s neck, and Charlie could smell burning hair. The Dangeroo bucked, trying to throw them off, but Rex wasn’t having any of it.

“You give?” he shouted.

The Dangeroo growled and, craning its neck around, snapped at the cowboy, trying to bite his leg. Rex kicked it in the nose and pulled even tighter on the rope.

“I said, do you give?”

Finally, the creature stopped fighting.

“There,” Rex said, using his forearm to wipe a glistening sheen of sweat from his brow. “Now—which way was Violet headed?”

Charlie pointed.

“Then let’s go get her! Hi-yah!” Rex kicked the Dangeroo hard in the ribs.

The monster shot into the air like a cannonball and soared after the one that had kidnapped Violet. Charlie’s cheeks rippled and his breath caught in his chest as the monster rocketed up into the sky, followed by a stomach-churning weightlessness as it descended. The distance between the two beasts narrowed until finally they were side by side.

“Violet!” Charlie yelled. “Are you okay?”

Violet managed to worm her head out of the suffocating fold of skin on the monster’s belly. “Charlie! What do I do?”

“Just hold tight! We’re here to rescue you!”

“Great! How?”

Charlie realized that he didn’t have a clue.

“Now, get ready, kid,” Rex said. “Soon as I release this lasso, the Dangeroo’s gonna buck us off.”

“What do you mean? We’re just gonna fall?”

“Of course not! What kinda stupid plan is that?” Rex rolled his eyes. “No, when we get bucked, we’re gonna leap out onto the Dangeroo that’s got Violet.”

“But what if we miss? It’s a nearly impossible jump!”

“Which is why it’s perfect for a Banisher! Nethermancers use fear to open their portals, but us Banishers use good, old-fashioned courage to do our job. Crazy thing is, you can only be courageous in the face of something that scares the tar outa you, so the scarier the challenge, the stronger we get when doing it!”

And with that he loosed the lasso from around their Dangeroo’s neck, and he and Charlie leaped out into the air. They hurtled down as Violet’s Dangeroo shot up beside them, so close that Charlie could feel the monster’s coarse hair brush his cheek. As they passed, Rex threw his lasso around the monster’s neck. It yanked them upward with such force that Charlie barely managed to hang on to Rex’s leather belt.

“Hey! Don’t pull my pants off, kid!”

“I’m not trying to, but I’m losing my grip!”

“Well, hang on! I gotta wrestle this critter to the ground.”

With Charlie in tow, Rex climbed along the lasso to the Dangeroo’s back and tightened the noose. The monster howled and snapped, but Rex only grew more determined.

“You ain’t gonna win this one, sunshine!”

Finally, it stopped trying to bite him, and Charlie could actually see some of the fight go out of its eyes.

“It’s giving up!”

“Starting to,” Rex replied, “but we ain’t there yet. You okay, Violet?”

“Can’t…breathe…,” she gasped, her voice muffled. The pouch had closed tightly over her head, and Charlie could see the outline of her body writhing inside.

“Don’t worry!” Charlie yelled. “We’ll get you out of there in just a second—we got it all under control!”

Suddenly, they heard a piercing shriek from somewhere high up above. Charlie looked behind him to see a giant Netherbat swooping down out of the churning sky, its large leather wings flapping furiously.

“Oh, no,” Rex moaned as the monstrous flying creature snatched the Dangeroo by the head with its filthy talons. The Dangeroo jerked and spasmed wildly as the bat carried it, and its unfortunate passengers, high into the air.

“Hey, kid!” Rex shouted. “Don’t you ever say ‘we got it all under control’ until we got it all under control!”

“Sorry,” Charlie replied, then drew his glowing blue rapier.

“What the heck is that for?”

“Violet’s suffocating. We gotta do something.”

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