Monster in My Closet (18 page)

If I were dead, he’d have to go back. It said so in the Demon Handbook.

Chapter Eighteen

I wasn’t suicidal. I sure as hell didn’t want to die. But I didn’t know what to do, either. I was distracted most of the day, twitching every time the phone rang, certain each call would be news of another death.

Sara still looked run-down, but she tried not to show it. It was a battle between us to see who got to take care of the other one. She knew something was wrong with me, but there wasn’t a damn thing I could tell her.

I considered talking to her about all of it. Aside from the unbelievable supernatural shenanigans, I had a relative stranger living in my house. Sara would not have approved. A predator on the loose? Sara would call the police. Small, uninvited creatures living in my linen closet? She’d have the number of a good exterminator.

Add the supernatural to the mix, and my no-nonsense best friend would be rolling her eyes at me and offering to lighten my workload so I could “take a rest.” Sara did not approve of what she called woo-woo business. She wouldn’t even get her palm read on the boardwalk when we were on spring break back in college. Sara liked things neat and tidy, and that included her view of reality. I didn’t relish the idea of shaking that up. She put her palm on my forehead, the same as I’d done to her the day before. “Feels warm,” she said, lips pursed in disapproval. “You should go home.”

“You can’t tell if someone has a fever if you have one yourself. I’m fine.”

She dropped her hand. “Whatever this bug is, we both have to dump it before next week. Bad enough if one of us is sick for the Dickson Family Circus.”

“I’m not sick, Mom. I’ll be fine. Maybe just need a little fresh air.”

I walked out to the street and inhaled the smells of salt and fish and engine exhaust. My walls were solid and tight. I wanted no chance of making any more connections, possibly ever. So much damage had been done with this curse of mine. Since I’d cut the connection to Sebastian, any new contacts I made would probably be safe from him, but I wasn’t going to chance it.

I walked with no destination in mind. I needed to think. I needed to breathe. I stopped at a light and looked around. I was sealed up so tight there was a surreal quality in being surrounded by cars and sidewalks full of people. I’d never experienced life the way other people apparently did. It was cold, empty and frankly, pretty lonely. The faces around me were a mystery, as if I were viewing them on a movie screen. I could guess at their stories, their feelings, but I couldn’t know.

A woman stopped at the light had her phone to her ear. The other hand gripped her steering wheel with white knuckles. She appeared agitated, possibly yelling at whoever was on the other end of the call. A kid walked down the sidewalk, his hoodie pulled over his head, the obligatory wires dangling from his ears. His stride was slow and deliberate, his look thoughtful. Was he depressed? Thinking about some plan to take over the world? Simply keeping time to the music?

How did people function this way?

I continued up the street, watching the crowds. Two women strolled past, laughing and holding hands. They looked to be in love, but how could I know without feeling it for myself? A cop car flashed its lights at a green Toyota. The man being pulled over looked resigned, glancing several times at his watch.

I supposed I could take all the physical cues and put them together to form the stories of the people around me. But they’d be guesses. I was accustomed to
knowing
. Maybe all these years I’d been an emotional Peeping Tom. That was an icky thought. I hadn’t considered the moral implications of emotional voyeurism. It was one thing to do it unconsciously, but now that I knew what I was doing—well, it didn’t make me feel so good about myself.

It was a little cool in the Bay breeze and I pulled my sweater close. I walked past restaurants, the obligatory Sausalito houseboats, trendy shops and scores of strange, empty faces that carried no emotion to distract me, connect me or lighten my load.

I grew tired of feeling alone in a sea of faces. I needed to think without distractions. Around a curve in the street, the buildings gave way to an incline of rocky, empty coast.

I stepped off the sidewalk into the sand and trudged down toward the pylons beneath an abandoned dock. The spot looked perfect for some quiet meditation. My brain felt too heavy with dark thoughts. Listening to water lap against the shore would help me sort things out.

As I neared the underside of the dock, the cool air dropped at least another ten degrees. Then my amulet kicked in. It was as if it had been in a deep sleep and was startled awake. The cold bit into my skin, and the chain vibrated with the chill.

Fear made me nauseous, and a meteorite in my belly flipped over with a solid clunk. I’d walked right into Sebastian’s lair.

My first instinct was to run, but my thoughts sped up before my feet could move.

Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe the only way to fix this is to give up.
I lifted my chin and tried not to show fear.
Bring it.

The area beneath the dock was not spacious. Sausalito wasn’t exactly a beach-boardwalk type of place. It was cramped under there. And dark. And cold.

The sand crunched beneath my boots, and the sound of my own shaky breathing filled my ears. The tide lapped at the pillars several yards away, and I couldn’t remember if it was on its way in or out at this time of day. If I went in there, and the tide came in, I could be trapped.

I stood at the edge, one foot under the dock, the other still out in the sun, deliberating. The amulet was like an ice cube beneath my shirt. I pulled it out and let it rest above the fabric. Warning duly noted.

I gripped the wooden support with my right hand, took a deep breath and moved into the darkness.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust in the dark, cramped space. I was hunched over, unable to stand up straight. Shadows formed around me, some more substantial than others.

When I was able to pick through them, the shadow closest to me, three feet away, moved.

“Ah, room service,” it said. “How thoughtful.”

A spark flashed, then a candle flared to life. Sebastian sat in the sand, his green eyes staring up at me.

I checked my walls and felt them for cracks. Air tight.

I wanted to say something witty about the AAA rating on his accommodations and how room service wasn’t included, but my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth.

His gaze tried to penetrate my defenses. I could feel it prodding and caressing at the walls, but my work was sound. He could try all he wanted. There was no way in, not until I had no other choice.

“You’ve been busy, Dream Girl,” he said. He did not look happy.

My tongue unstuck. “Buffet’s closed.” My voice came out stronger than I’d expected, but not nearly as iron-willed as I’d hoped.

He chuckled. “I can live on your leftover scraps for some time to come. Still, I’ll miss our night times together, Dream Girl. Cutting me off like that was cruel.” He pouted and picked up a seashell, examined it, chucked it aside. “Did you find a magic word you want to hurl at me to send me home? Shall I hold still for you while you draw a circle around me to do a hex?”

I frowned, suspicious. “How did I find you? I wasn’t looking for you, and I know this isn’t a coincidence.”

He shrugged, the cheap velvet of his coat scraping against the pillar behind him. “I knew I couldn’t see you anymore in the dream world, so I put out a call. I hoped you’d answer, and here you are.” His smile was broad and self-congratulatory.

I could feel the blood leaving my face. It made me queasy to think he could call me to him like a pet, despite my efforts to disconnect us. Some connections go deeper than we think. I shuddered.

And then I knew. I saw him sitting there, smug and bloated like a tick, and I knew what I had to do. If I filled him so full of emotions, maybe he would burst like an overfed leach. Disgusting, yes, but it had to work. It was the first time I had hope since he’d arrived.

Of course that plan had a killer problem: I’d emptied myself that morning of every emotion but my own. I’d been wandering the streets walled up against the tiniest bit of feelings from the wealth of people around me. I was isolated from the crowds now, unable to reach out to them. All I had was me, and me wasn’t anywhere near enough.

I was a small woman standing in a dark, concealed area, with a hostile man twice her size.

For the second time in less than two weeks I wished I were a kick-ass chick with multiple weapons strapped against my body and black belts in several forms of martial arts. And I was in trouble.

Hunched over like I was, I couldn’t move very quickly, but he was seated, so I had a head start. I backed up a step, trying not to provoke him. If I could get back to where there were people, I could regroup. Maybe I’d have a chance at beating him.

“Where are you going, little one? We were having such a nice visit.”

“Go home, Sebastian. You won’t get anything more from me, and you’re done killing my friends.” Brave words meant for distraction. I slid my foot behind me another step.

“Oh, but there’s still plenty out there for me. I’m nowhere near finished.”

“No. You touch no one from here on out. I’m giving you fair warning.” Fair warning of what? I still hadn’t quite figured it out. All I had was the beginnings of a plan. I was bluffing, and we both knew it.

Sebastian was up and on me so fast he was a blur. His hands gripped my arms and his face was inches from mine. “I don’t think you understand,” he said. “You’re mine now. If I can’t get in one way, I’ll find another.”

He crushed his lips against mine and kissed me. The physical contact sent cracks through my carefully constructed walls. My mind struggled against him, but my body betrayed me. I kissed him back. God help me, I wanted to give everything I had to him. His lips parted and I was grateful to feel his tongue probe mine. I breathed in the scent of him in all its over-soaked cologne. I melted against him, my body craving contact with his skin and fretting over the fabric that separated us.

His caress sent shattered pieces of my wall spinning out from my body, leaving me as bare and unprotected as the rest of his victims. His arms slid around my waist and something in me snapped. The last of my defenses lay broken in the rocky sand. I was relieved to have it gone. Now I was his. I didn’t have to fight anymore.

He broke the kiss and moved his hands up to my face, cradling it. I looked into those green eyes and felt despair. I slid my hand between us, wanting to touch his chest where the skin peeked at me from the top of his shirt. On the way up, I brushed against my amulet. The cold shock ran up my arm and broke the connection between us.

I did the only thing left within my power to do—I screamed.

Chapter Nineteen

In the movies, a scream is usually a harbinger of death. It means someone isn’t going to make it. In the real world, screaming is a last resort, when all one can hope for is a passerby who will intercede.

In my case, the passerby was the last person I’d expected to see.

Riley came whipping around the corner and knocked Sebastian flat on his ass. I’m not against having a handsome prince ride in on his white horse and save me. I’m all for women’s lib and for taking care of myself, but sometimes a girl, especially a stupid one like me, can get in over her head. I knew in the end I’d have to defeat my boogeyman myself, but today was not that day.

I don’t know which of us was more surprised to see Riley. Sebastian, despite being sprawled in the cold sand, recovered first.

“Death takes a holiday, I see,” he said. He wagged his finger at Riley. “That’s naughty.”

That made no sense to me, but I couldn’t begin to fathom what he meant by it.

“Not your business,” Riley said. He took my arm and pulled me toward him. Part of me wanted to bury my face against his chest and burst into tears of relief and gratitude. The other part never wanted to be touched by a man again. That part wanted a long, scalding shower. Perhaps with lye soap. And a peroxide rinse.

He led me out into the sun and up to the sidewalk.

Sebastian’s voice carried out to us from the dark. “Take good care of her for me, grave digger. I might be hungry again later.”

I stopped. Grave digger? I looked at Riley and back at Sebastian. The incubus smiled, his grin splitting his face and showing a double row of spiky teeth.

“I love weddings. See you soon, Dream Girl.” His image wavered and disappeared. I shivered.

“Where’s your car?” Riley asked, tugging me down the street.

“A few blocks that way,” I said, pointing. My knees were shaking and my head kept swiveling around of its own accord, checking to see if we were being followed. “He knew you. How did he know you?”

Riley didn’t answer right away. He kept a hand on my elbow as we crossed the street. “We don’t know each other,” he said. “I know his kind. I see a lot of predators and victims in my line of work.”

“As a paramedic?”

“Sure. Yeah. As a paramedic. Zoey, what the hell were you doing under there?”

“It’s a long story. A stupid one. I should go back to the office.”

“No. You have to go home. You’ll be safe there. He might not give up today, and I can’t stay with you. I have another appointment soon.”

“Appointment?” Paramedics didn’t have appointments. They had emergencies.

“Promise me you’ll go home?” Once again, I had the distinct feeling I was being handled. I wanted to object, take back the power over my own life. But if I was honest with myself, I had to admit all I wanted was to go home. And I wasn’t getting any concrete answers out of Riley at the moment.

He shuttled me into my car and waited while I buckled up. I felt like my dad was hovering over me. I rolled down the window.

“Thanks for rescuing me,” I said.

He reached into the car and locked my door. “Tomorrow at seven-thirty?”

I was surprised he still wanted to go out with me. There was no stopping this guy, apparently. “Sure. Yeah. Tomorrow.” I forced a smile and hoped it looked sincere.

I pulled away without looking back. The farther away I drove, the warmer my amulet became. I tucked it under my shirt. I was still freezing, and the extra warmth was welcome.

For someone who had escaped certain death only minutes before, I drove as if death were not a concern. I was going far too fast on the winding roads. After a few close calls squealing around curves, I took note and let up on the accelerator.

I had the heater on full blast and the chill deep inside me finally eased a little. I usually talked to myself, but not out loud. This was a good sign that I was losing it.

I had no idea what to do next. There was a flaw in my new plan. If I opened up to throw emotions at him, that left me vulnerable. I couldn’t fight him with my shields up, and I couldn’t resist him with my shields down. And now, to make matters worse, I found out physical contact rendered my shields useless. I was a sitting duck, and so was every woman he’d tagged through me.

At home, Maurice took one look at me and ushered me in, took my sweater and purse, pushed me down on the couch, and went to run me a bath.

“He found you. We were afraid he would. Was it very bad?”

I jumped. Sometimes I forgot how many people were living in my house. Molly had climbed up on the armrest. She regarded me with a critical eye.

“It could have gone worse,” I said. I pulled off my boots.

“You are alive. Some days we must be satisfied with that.”

I leaned my head against the cushions and closed my eyes. “I suppose that’s pretty good, for today.” I still heard the echo of Sebastian’s voice rattling inside my skull.
I love weddings. See you soon.

“Abuse is worse when they make you thank them for it.”

I opened my eyes and looked at her dainty face, the bruises across it now a sickly yellow. “That does make it so much worse. It makes it my fault because I allowed it.”

“No. What someone does to you is never your fault. It was you who taught me that.”

My lips formed a weak smile. It made me happy to know I’d made a difference in this woman’s life. Maybe I sucked at vanquishing demons, but at least I could still help my friends.

Maurice came down the hallway, saw Molly and frowned. “Let her rest, Molly.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the couch. “Let’s go. In the tub. Your skin is icy, and you need to warm up.”

He led me down the hall into my bathroom. “I can do this on my own,” I said. He winked at me and shut the door. A second later I opened it and poked my head out to see him walking away. “Maurice?”

He stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Hmm?”

“I’m glad you’re here. Thanks.”

His smile was weary. “Somebody has to look after you, Zo. You’re too busy taking care of everybody else to look after yourself.”

* * *

For the rest of the day and all day Saturday, I was on lockdown again. I felt like a naughty child who had been grounded. I accepted my punishment with grace, for the most part. I had screwed up. I made a few phone calls for work, but mostly moped around the house getting in Maurice’s way.

“Zoey, go read a book or something,” he said. He had been trying to clean the windows, and I’d knocked the bottle of cleaner on the floor. It busted open and leaked everywhere.

“Let me clean it up. My fault.” I bent to mop it with the rag he’d been using to dust.

He snatched it out of my hands. “Go find something to do. You’re making me crazy.”

I felt horrible. I almost got myself killed by my own stupidity, and now I was behaving like a six-year-old. My voice was soft. “I’m sorry.” I turned to go to my room so I’d be out from under foot.

“Don’t you have a date to get ready for?”

I stopped. “Is everybody going to let me out? I thought I was stuck here.”

He appeared to consider it. “Riley saved you. I trust him to keep you safe. Promise you’ll go straight there and straight back? No stopping off for milk. You stay with him, and always in public. You can’t be alone in town. Not for a minute.”

“Of course.” The thought of running into Sebastian made my stomach clench.

“I’ll tell Iris and the fairies to let you go. They were only trying to protect you.”

“I know. I’m sorry I worried everybody.”

“Go get ready. I have to clean this up.” He was a little brusque, but I knew it was because he was worried. I was lucky to have friends who cared so much.

* * *

It always seems the more time I have to get ready, the worse my hair looks. On this momentous occasion, I had a first date with a gorgeous, mysterious guy who, for whatever reason, thought I was worth pursuing, despite my constant social disasters in his presence. I had a good three hours to screw up my hair, and I did a spectacular job. After two hours of blowing it dry, straightening it, re-curling it, then straightening it again, I had about forty-five minutes left to jump in the shower, rewash it and start all over. The Medusa look hadn’t suited me at all.

The second time around I let it air dry. The curls were natural and fell where they wanted. The less I did, the better it looked.

I debated for a while over what I should wear. Using the Sara-rule about wearing only one quirky item per outfit, I chose my favorite little black dress, black hose and Iron Fist heels with red and green zombies all over them. I wore green, dangly earrings to go with the shoes, and of course, my outrageous dragon amulet.

Okay, so maybe that’s two quirky items, but since I had to wear the amulet everywhere, it would be unfair to count it. Besides, this was a date, not a business meeting. Sara didn’t get a say in it.

I felt like I turned out pretty hot. I walked out into the living room and found the entire brownie family lined up on the back of the couch, with Maurice standing next to them. Apparently, I was required to model before I could leave.

“Pretty!” Abby said, and clapped her chubby hands.

“Spin around. Let’s see,” Maurice said. I spun. He frowned. “It’s a little short, don’t you think?”

Molly laughed. “Leave her alone. She looks very nice.”

A shadow moved in the window and I glanced over. Iris had his face pressed to the glass in a big, toothy grin. He gave me a double thumbs-up.

I have the weirdest family on Earth.

They followed me out to the car and waved as I pulled out. In my rearview mirror, I could see them all, very small to very large, standing in the driveway. What an amazing life mine was turning out to be. At that moment, I felt the bad stuff was almost worth all the good that had come with it.

I was also grateful I hadn’t let Riley come pick me up. No matter how much I loved these people, there were some things too impossible to explain on a first date.

* * *

Maurice would have been pleased. When I pulled into the parking lot, Riley was already standing outside waiting for me.

“You look…” He paused and gave me a once-over that wasn’t uncomfortable so much as tingly. “You look amazing.”

I think I blushed. I never did that, except recently around him. “Thank you. So do you.” And he did. His dress pants fit like they’d been tailored, and I was anticipating the first chance I could get to examine them from the back. His dark blue shirt made his gray eyes look duskier. He smelled so good I had to stop myself from burying my face in his neck.

He held out his hand and I took it. It was warm and fit around mine like it was made to go there. If it had been several hundred years earlier and I’d been wearing a corset, I likely would have swooned.

He led me inside, and the hostess seated us at a small table in the corner by a window. It was a breathtaking view of the San Francisco Bay, lights beginning to twinkle on as the sun set. I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful start to the evening.

The server started us off with a bottle of wine. And then we opened our menus and panic set it.

Raw fish, raw fish, raw fish.

I had no idea what to order. In all honesty, I’d only tried sushi once and I’d been by myself. Feeling adventurous on my lunch break, I’d found a small, out of the way place where I could try it without an audience. I have no idea what the hell I ate, but it was gross. And slimy. I suspect it might have been squiddish.

“What are you thinking of having?” he asked.

I waffled. I “um”ed a lot. I bit my lip. I turned pages back and forth. I read and reread the entries.

And then I gave up. I didn’t have the ability to find a graceful way out.

“I don’t know,” I said. I folded up my menu and looked him in the eye. “I have no idea what I’m looking at.”

He smiled. “Do you want me to order for you? Have you had sushi before?”

“Once, sort of.”

“I’ll be gentle.” He winked at me. “Don’t be scared.”

He ordered a number of things that had the word
roll
in them, which sounded hopeful. And bless him, he started us out with vegetable tempura. Vegetables. Fried. Now
that
I knew I liked. I had no idea going to a place that served raw fish meant you could also have deep-fried vegetables. I was tempted to ask for my fish rolls to be tempura-ed as well, but I didn’t think that would go over very well.

I had a little trouble with the chopsticks, but I was determined not to continue looking like I’d been living in the back hills of nowhere all my life. I knew how to use them. I was out of practice was all.

I was feeling pretty good about the night. The food was much better than I’d expected, the conversation suffered few awkward pauses and, so far, I hadn’t slopped any food down the front of my dress. Aces.

Riley didn’t look like he had any of the first-date nerves I’d started the evening with. Everything he did—whether it was unfolding his napkin, flipping through the menu or sipping from his wine glass—had a lazy ease about it. His movements were so self-assured and casual. I doubted he’d ever spilled so much as a toast crumb. I was betting if Riley ever did drop a piece of toast, it would land butter side up.

My belly was nicely filled with crunchy, deep-fried tastiness, mysterious fishy stuff rolled up with rice and seaweed, and a good three glasses of wine. I gave a contented sigh and placed my chopsticks across my plate.

“What’s the verdict?” Riley asked, wiping his napkin across his mouth.

I pretended to think about it. “Hm.”

He tossed his napkin at me. “You loved it. Admit it.”

I balled up the fabric and threw it back at him. “I was hungry. I’d have eaten anything.”

He grinned and sang at me like a little kid. “Zoey loves sushi, Zoey loves sushi.”

I tried to take a swallow from my wine glass to cover my silly smile, but it didn’t work. He was making me laugh. If I took a sip now it would likely spew out my nose. Aside from the extreme embarrassment involved, it would probably hurt like crazy. Not to mention, a waste of good wine.

The sun had gone down, leaving the Bay to sparkle with fairy lights from the boats scattered across the water. Foot traffic was thinning on the sidewalk outside the window. The type of traffic had shifted, too. There were less business suits and more casual or club-wear. It was a gorgeous, clear night, and I was with the most amazing guy I’d ever met.