Monster (12 page)

‘No, I just didn’t tell him. He thinks I’m out delivering turkeys.’

‘So who signed the consent form?’

‘Me.’ He grinned and his eyes twinkled in the café’s dim lighting. ‘I knew he wouldn’t let me take you out and I really wanted to see you.’

Something broke in my chest. ‘Aww. I wanted to see you too.’

‘Don’t laugh but …’ His head dipped and when I saw his eyes again they were sparkling. ‘I think we’re quite similar. I feel a connection with you, Nash. I’ve never felt it with anyone else.’

‘Me either,’ I said, cheeks flushing with heat. Just then, the Maidy Lady came over to take our order. Charlie ordered a flat white, which I’d never heard of, but he made it sound nice so I had the same. We also ordered two cheese toasties and a couple of the enormous iced Danish pastries we’d seen behind the chilled cabinet glass when we’d come in.

‘Got us through the Blitz,’ he said.

‘What, hardened arteries?’ I said.

‘Here,’ he said suddenly, reaching into his trouser pocket and presenting me with two clenched fists. ‘Pick a hand.’

I touched the top of the right one. He opened it and it was empty. I sighed and he opened the left one, revealing the little Howlite necklace from the shop.

‘Oh my God! I was looking at that!’ I cried.

‘I know. I got it while you were picking out that sheep thing for your little friend.’

‘Wow. It’s so pretty, isn’t it?’

‘Take it,’ he said. I did. I looked at it. Then I went to hand it back to him, but he frowned. ‘No, it’s for you.’

‘What? I can’t accept this, Charlie.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it was twenty-three pounds.’

‘So? Call it a Christmas present, if you like. I just wanted to buy it for you.’

‘Charlie …’

‘Look—’ he leaned in closer to me across the table and lowered his voice ‘—I really like you. And I know that it’s gonna be tough because you’re at the school and when you’re not at the school you live nowhere near here but … well, I’d really like us to … I’d like to be with you. Like, go out with you. If you want to, like.’

He looked so nervous. His eyes were wide and his hands were shaking and his leg was still jiggling under the table for all it was worth.

I couldn’t stop my mouth stretching into a smile. ‘I’d like that too,’ I said, clasping his frozen hand in mine. ‘But you don’t have to buy me stuff.’

‘Well, it’d look stupid on me, wouldn’t it?’ He smiled. ‘It doesn’t match my eyes.’

We were still grinning when the Maidy Lady brought over our coffees and food.

As we were leaving, it was snowing heavily and, on our way down the steps, I handed Charlie one of the two pound coins I had left from my change.

‘Here you go,’ I said, standing beside the wishing well.

‘Oh come on,’ he said, ‘you’re not serious?’

I closed my eyes, turned on the spot and threw my coin into the well, looking over the railing and peering in until I heard a faint but definite
plop!
when it hit water.

‘Done. Now you.’

Charlie trudged back up the steps and closed his eyes before chucking the pound into the air. Fortuitously, it headed over the lip of the well. We both waited for the
plop!
that time.

‘What did you wish for?’ I asked him.

‘To kiss you,’ he said, holding me gently around my waist. I couldn’t help noticing the burger van in the lay-by opposite. There were some wild goats eating the stale buns by the trailer’s wheels. I put my finger against Charlie’s mouth, just as he was approaching mine.

‘Not here,’ I said, and took his hand, leading him down the steps and along the pavement towards the little cobblestone bridge. I stood right in the centre and took his hand.

‘Here,’ I said and he leaned into me and we kissed away everything for at least five minutes. He kissed hard, but it was good. It was perfect and powerful and I felt it in every sinew, fibre and vein and didn’t ever want to let go.

I heard myself kind of yelp as he pulled away. He kept his forehead against mine.

‘You like me, don’t you?’ He grinned.

I nodded. ‘You like me too, don’t you?’

He nodded. ‘We’ve still got some time before I have to get you back. Anywhere else you want to go?’

‘Um, yeah,’ I said, still panting slightly. ‘There isn’t an internet café round here anywhere, is there? I just want to see if there’s anything from Seb—emails or anything.’

‘Yeah. At the bottom of the Gorge.’

‘I haven’t had a sniff of internet since—I can’t even remember.’

‘Your wish is my command, my lady,’ he said with a sweeping gesture.

I dealt with all my usual admin when I had internet access—checked both email accounts for anything from Seb or Mum or Dad, checked Facebook for friend requests (four), checked Twitter for @mentions (lots, though mostly bots), checked Tumblr for any good posts to reblog (one of a cat falling into a swing bin and another of Alice in Wonderland smoking a joint which I knew Seb would like). I also had a quick look on the main BBC News site, just to see what else was going on in the world—an uprising in the East, a market downturn in the West and the finding of a dead mouse in a malt loaf. I had just clicked away from the main screen in order to log off, when my eyes caught a headline. My chest constricted.

‘Oh my God,’ I whispered, clicking back onto the internet and typing ‘BBC’ back into the search bar. It took me back to the news page. I scrolled down and searched all over for the headline again. I scrolled up. And there it was, right at the top, on the scrolling ticker tape. It felt like being in
a dark tunnel when a juggernaut’s coming right at you, all honking loudly and screeching brakes.

Invisible hands clutched at my throat. I forgot how to breathe.

‘Charlie,’ I said.

‘Yeah, you all done?’

‘Yeah.’ I looked in my pocket for my last few coins. ‘I just need to print this off. Then, could you take me back to the school, please?’

‘Yeah, sure. Is everything all right?’

I nodded. At least, I think I nodded. I was no longer in control of my own mind. It was only on one thing—that headline. I needed to get back to school as soon as possible.

‘H
as something happened?’ he said, as his car turned the corner into the driveway. It was snowing ever so lightly now. ‘Is it your brother?’

A huge invisible fist clenched around my ribcage. ‘I just need to get back, that’s all. I told you. Matron gets really funny if we’re late for dinner.’

He wasn’t buying it. He swung the car round and pulled up with the handbrake on, the engine still running. ‘Have you changed your mind about us, or something? Is that it?’

‘No, not at all, don’t be silly,’ I said, opening the door.

‘Is it something I’ve said? Did I do something?’

‘No, no.’ I felt the first droplets of snow hit my ears and cheeks. ‘I had a lovely day. And thank you for lunch and my necklace and everything.’

The passenger window buzzed down. ‘Did I do something?’ he asked, a desperate fire in his eyes.

‘I’m sorry, Charlie. Thank you again.’ I sounded like I was thanking my driving instructor. I cringed. His face as he yanked down the handbrake and roared off back down the driveway told me everything I needed to know.

But when I got into the hall, I didn’t have time to give my news. I had a welcoming committee waiting for me. They all stood there: Maggie, Clarice, Regan, Dianna and a stricken-looking Matron.

‘Natasha, thank goodness you’re back. Have you got Tabby with you?’

‘What? No, I haven’t. Why?’

Matron took a huge breath and carried on buttoning up her coat. ‘She’s gone missing. We have to search the whole school.’

‘What? How long has she been gone for?’

They all looked at each other. Matron answered. ‘About an hour.’

‘She’ll be hiding,’ I said. ‘She does this. She’s the smallest Pup, so she can get into the tiniest holes. She’ll be playing a game, that’s all.’

‘She’s not playing this time,’ said Matron.

I turned on Maggie. ‘You said you’d look after her.’

‘I
did
look after her! I had to go and put the stupid laundry on, didn’t I? I left her with Matron for five minutes—’

‘And I had to take a phone call from Mrs Saul-Hudson,’ Matron interrupted. ‘She was checking in, making sure everything was all right. I was only out of the room for moments.’

I looked straight at Clarice. Her face was a Mona Lisa smile of non-committal, the only one of us who didn’t look
worried at all. I walked across the paisley carpet and got right up in her face.

‘Where is she, Clarice?’

‘Nash, for heaven’s sake!’ cried Dianna.

‘What have I got to do with it?’ Clarice laughed. She backed into the sideboard, making the tennis trophies rattle and clang. ‘God, this is … this is victimisation. She’s really got it in for me.’

‘Just the sort of thing you’d do, isn’t it?’ said Maggie.

‘Where is she?’ I repeated, staring her down.

‘I don’t know, do I? I’ve been cleaning the kitchen for the last hour. God’s sake.’

Matron, unbelievably, gave her the benefit of the doubt.

‘Natasha, come along, this isn’t helping.’

‘It’s helping me,’ I raged.

‘I don’t think Clarice has anything to do with it,’ said Matron. ‘She’s just wandered off somewhere, I’m sure.’

‘Yeah,’ said Regan. ‘Maybe she’s in the common room, watching a DVD?’

It was no good. I couldn’t prove Clarice knew where Tabby was.

Main House was turned practically upside down. Dorms. Classrooms. Music room. Science lab. Art room. CDT room. Old dormitories in the fourth-floor attic space, which were only used to store old costumes now. The Hidey Holes we knew about, which ran between the two libraries and up to the first floor dorms, the Laundry room to the Sickbay and the Science lab all the way to the trap door at the back of the stage in the gym. We found absolutely nothing.

With every minute that passed, my chest grew a little
more tight. We called for her. Bargained with her. Berated her. Anything to get her to poke her head out, admit she was hiding, but of course she didn’t. She just wasn’t anywhere.

One thing we
did
find in our classroom excavations was Babbitt, Tabby’s toy. Maggie brought it to me as I was just turning out the light in the changing rooms.

‘One down,’ she said.

‘Oh, good,’ I said, slightly cheered by the sight of it. ‘Where was it?’

‘Stuffed into the corner by the lockers.’

‘Bloody Clarice,’ I seethed. ‘Psycho.’

‘All right, all right. Here.’ She handed Babbitt to me and I held him close to my chest. He smelled of biscuits and marker pens, just like Tabby. ‘I feel sick,’ I said.

‘You’re really worried about the little tyke, aren’t you?’ said Maggie as we walked back along the corridor. ‘She can’t have gone far, Nash.’

‘How the hell would you know?’ I cried. ‘You were supposed to be looking after her, Maggie! Why can’t you take responsibility for anything?’

‘Excuse me, I said I’d keep an
eye,
not become her foster mum like you are.’

‘What if she’s gone outside, into the woods or something? It’s dark.’

‘She wouldn’t have gone out there,’ Maggie said. ‘Not with Regan’s friend about.’

‘Not by choice, no,’ I said.

We came to the PE cupboard, and I unlocked it, using the key Matron had given me. The door opened and a pong of new rubber and old socks wafted out to us. But except for large nets of basketballs and netballs, a bundle of javelins,
a cluster of rounders posts, knots of skipping ropes and tubes of tennis balls, the cupboard was bare. I locked it back up again.

‘I’m sorry. You’re right, she’s not your responsibility.’

‘Yeah. Well, I do feel guilty about leaving her. Let’s just find her, eh?’

Footsteps down the corridor heralded the arrival of Regan.

‘Matron thinks we ought to form a search party and try the grounds. Doesn’t look like she’s in the school.’

‘Cool,’ said Maggie.

‘She wants everyone in the Hall in cold-weather gear in five minutes with torches.’

‘Fine,’ I sighed. The three of us began walking back towards the stairs, down to Main Hall and the cloakrooms where our coats and wellies were.

‘I hope we’re not too late,’ said Regan.

‘What?’

She looked at me. ‘What if the Beast is out tonight? It’s a full moon, you know.’

I could feel myself losing control. ‘Oh, so it’s a werewolf now, is it?’

‘I don’t know what it is—no one does. I just hope it’s not got her scent.’

‘And what if it has, Regan? What then?’

Regan shrugged.

‘No bright ideas, huh? What exactly are
you
going to do if there
is
some kind of monster out there and it’s ripped Tabby to pieces? What will you do
then
about your precious Beast?’

‘Take it easy, Nash,’ said Maggie, stepping in between me and Regan on the stairs.

‘No. I’m sick to death of all this talk about the Beast of Bathory. There are other things out there,
real
things that we need to worry about. Freezing cold weather for one. Strange men for another. And the fact that a senior Bathory girl is sadistically picking on Tabby for no apparent reason.
There
are your Beasts.
There
are your monsters.’

I was boiling like a geyser, ready to blow at any moment. I marched to the back of the cloakrooms and sat down in the dark on the bench, between two pegs laden with navy coats. My hands were shaking—I could just about see them in the moonlight beaming in through a top window. Then I heard voices outside, low and urgent.

Maggie appeared in the doorway a few moments later. ‘Nash?’

‘Yeah, I’m here,’ I said, swallowing a lump.

‘Why did you mention strange men?’

I shrugged. ‘She’s a kid, isn’t she? A kid—on her own. We’ve got to find her, we’ve just got to. I won’t rest until we do.’

She plucked my coat from its peg and pulled my folded-up wellies from the pigeonhole under the bench, then handed them both to me. ‘Then neither will I. Come on.’

It was nearly seven o’clock by the time we’d congregated on the swirly red carpet in the main hall. Tabby, the expert hider, had been missing for over three hours.

‘Right then, all of you,’ said Matron, as Maggie and I walked in. ‘Dianna, you and Regan search the formal gardens, tennis courts and Orangery. Clarice, you and Margaret, the Pups’ classrooms, Portakabins, barns and sheds. It’s snowing, so we don’t have much time.’

‘I’m not searching with her,’ said Maggie, clutching a white banister. ‘There’s only two people I trust here. One of them’s me. The other’s not her.’

‘Go with Clarice I said, Margaret,’ said Matron, her voice shaking by this point. She handed each pair a fire whistle and a torch. We all saw her swallow the sob. ‘Natasha, you and I will search the upper landscape and the woods with Brody. If she’s out there we have to find her ASAP. There’s more snow forecast for the early hours. Temperature’s dropping by the hour.’

It was Dianna’s turn to protest, as I knew she would.

‘Matron, I could come with you to search the Landscape Gardens. Regan can handle the formal gardens by herself, I’m sure.’

Matron turned on her heel, grabbed Brody’s lead from the coat hooks and attached it to his collar. ‘Don’t argue. And stay together at all times. We need to find her, girls. Please.’

We followed our breaths along the pathway, up the flint steps to the right of the drive and into the Landscape Gardens, all the while calling out Tabby’s name. We could barely see the trees for the lines of snow falling silently upon us. The air had grown considerably colder since I’d gone out with Charlie, and I tucked my scarf right up around my mouth to breathe some warm into the wool. The winter moon was full and blurry with black clouds gliding past it. Moving, always moving. Time was moving on. We walked along the path by Edward’s Pond and Matron shone our torch over the still surface of the water. It was frozen solid.

‘Tab-beeeeeee!’ she called out. I called out too. Our
voices echoed in the valley, then disappeared on the night breeze. I think we were both holding our breaths.

‘What do I say?’ asked Matron to nobody. ‘What do I say to her parents? They’re in the Middle East, for God’s sake. She’s supposed to be the one who’s safe and looked after.’

Did she expect me to answer her? It felt rude not to.

‘Matron, we’ll find her.’

‘I shouldn’t have let this happen.’

‘You didn’t let it happen, it’s just one of those things. We’ll find her.’ I didn’t sound sure, because I wasn’t sure. If she wasn’t in the grounds then there was no telling where she was. Someone
must
have taken her. I didn’t dare think about who that might be any more.

‘There’s still hope, Matron. You’ve got to have faith that we’ll find her.’

‘I don’t know what to do, Natasha,’ she said. She was crying by this point. ‘I really don’t know what to do.’ We made our way up the snaking path towards the Wendy House. I had to take charge—Matron was losing the plot, fast. I took the torch from her and opened the door, shining it inside.

‘Tabby?’ I called. Nothing.

I came back out and shook my head. Matron’s face disappeared through a white cloud of exhaled breath.

‘Let’s go along to the Temple.’

As we were walking along the uneven path, I looked out and down into the valley. A shape caught my eye in the trees ahead—I shone the torch over it, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. The path sloped down and we went with it. Matron’s sobs had become more woeful.

‘It’s so cold,’ she said, trying to rub some warmth into the fingers of her torch hand.

‘We’d better pick up the pace,’ I replied.

The Temple was as still and quiet as the Wendy House. There was nothing there, and no sign that anyone had been. The same for the path down to Grace’s Lake and the Birdcage at the far end. The wire door creaked open and I shone the torch around. Just a carpet of brown leaves and the golden bars shone back at us.

‘This is hopeless,’ Matron complained, as we crossed the wooden bridge over the lake to the opposite side of the valley where the tree house was. Chief Brody sniffed the ground eagerly. I wondered what he could smell. He had the scent of something.

Then I saw something in the trees again.

‘What was that?’ I said, my torch hand shaking as I shone the light behind us.

‘What? What did you see?’

I couldn’t call out. I was too afraid to disturb whatever it had been. ‘I don’t know,’ I whispered. ‘I thought I saw something moving in the trees.’

I didn’t think. I knew. Brody barked. He knew too.

‘Tabbeee?’ Matron called. ‘Tabbeee, if that’s you, then come out here this instant!’

But, again, nothing but silence.

Matron slapped her hands by her sides. ‘Well, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m going to have to call the police. We’ve looked everywhere.’

‘No, we haven’t, Matron. We haven’t got as far as the Chapel yet.’

‘She won’t be in there, I know she won’t,’ Matron shouted. ‘I’ve lost her, haven’t I?’ She was nearly hysterical by this point, sobbing and panicking, completely uncontrollable.

‘Matron, please stop—this isn’t helping Tabby,’ I said, holding her forearms like it was going to help. ‘Please stop.’

‘We can’t help her. What if it’s taken her? What if we find something?’

‘What? What if what’s taken her?’

‘The Beast,’ she said.

‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ I muttered, exhaling. ‘There is no such thing as the Beast of Bathory.’

Matron sniffed up a line of clear snot from her top lip. ‘I’ve seen it, Natasha.’

‘What? When?’

‘A few years ago.’ We walked along the path towards the waterfall. ‘It was this time of year. I’d come back from chaperoning Year Eights on a trip to London. I was on the drive, clearing out the minibus. Night was as quiet as a church. I heard a noise, coming from the flint steps. I can only describe it as a … grunt.’

I felt alarm in every bone. Should I tell her I’d seen it too? No. She was already in a state of panic.
Stress makes you stupid,
I thought, another favourite saying of Seb’s.
Think calm and you’ll be calm. Panicking helps no one.

‘Once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I saw its eyes, shining in the moonlight. Then I made out its head, and then its body. It just stood there, at the top of the steps, looking at me. It was enormous.’