Monsieur Pamplemousse and the Militant Midwives (19 page)

Except the ‘someone else’ in question, blissfully unaware of his master’s thought processes, was making full use of the lull in order to look for the water bowl that was invariably made ready for him whenever he visited the Director’s office. He peered round the desk and behind the waste bin, but he couldn’t see it anywhere. Such a thing had never happened before, bringing home to him, as nothing else could, the full seriousness of the situation.

Having drawn a blank, he gave vent to a deep
sigh and settled down at his master’s feet to await developments.

The Director gave a start and came back down to earth from wherever he had been.

‘No doubt, Pamplemousse,’ he said, ‘you are wondering why I sent for you.’

Monsieur Pamplemousse sat back in his chair. He couldn’t have put it better if he tried.

‘As you may know,’ continued Monsieur Leclercq, ‘I have recently returned from a visit to New York. While I was there, I paid a courtesy call on a company not dissimilar in size to our own.

‘One of the things I discovered was that they have what they call a “vibe” manager; a person whose sole function it is to report back to the management on matters concerning staff satisfaction.

‘In my position, Aristide, it is all too easy to lose touch with the rank and file.’

You’re telling me, thought Monsieur Pamplemousse. Getting in touch with them from the beginning and staying that way might be the answer.

‘Tell me, Aristide,’ said Monsieur Leclercq, ‘you are a man of the world, and I place great value on your powers of observation. How would you rate the vibes within our own organisation?’

Monsieur Pamplemousse hardly knew where to begin. ‘I, too, have been away,’ he said, slowly gathering his thoughts. ‘But in the short time I have
been back I have noticed a number of things. There is a feeling of unhappiness in the air. Rumours are rife, and since they are spreading in all directions, much as tiny waves are set in motion when you throw a stone into the waters of a lake, they are hard to evaluate.

‘To put it bluntly, monsieur, I would say our own vibes indicate that matters have possibly reached an all-time low.’

‘Ah!’ Monsieur Leclercq shrank back in his seat. As he did so, there was another hiss of escaping air; almost as though he was being engulfed by the weight of some vast, overpowering tidal wave and had given up the fight. ‘I feared as much.’

‘Can I get you anything, monsieur?’ Monsieur Pamplemousse voiced his fears as he jumped to his feet. ‘A glass of cognac, perhaps?’

‘You are a good man, Pamplemousse.’ The Director reached for a handkerchief and dabbed at his forehead. ‘Perhaps you would care to join me? I think you may be in need of one too when you hear what I have to tell you.’

An innocent enough remark: it seemed like a good idea to Monsieur Pamplemousse at the time.

Afterwards he was to realise that even a spider’s web has to start somewhere. 

If you enjoyed

Monsieur Pamplemousse and the Militant Midwives
,
read on to find out about other books
by Michael Bond …  

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Le Guide,
France’s premier gastronomic guide, is failing to whet the appetite of its audience in America. Bribed by the Director with offers of some time off, Monsieur Pamplemousse agrees to flex his literary muscles in a bid to address the problem.

The result is the ex-detective’s directorial debut, complete with walk-on part for faithful bloodhound, Pommes Frites. Everything rests on special guest, Jay Corby, acclaimed American food-critic, whose good opinion could change their transatlantic fortunes. But disaster strikes on opening night when a manoeuvre with a trapdoor causes Corby to storm out in a rage.

Monsieur Pamplemousse must find him before he ruins everything for
Le Guide
. Once again he can rely on star sniffer dog, Pommes Frites, who is hot on the trail of their only lead, but also the flimsy undergarments of an exotic dancer they’d happened upon in a state of undress earlier that day.

When Monsieur Pamplemousse got an urgent summons from the Director of
Le Guide,
he knew that there was trouble at the top. His faithful canine companion, Pommes Frites, noticed it too.

But neither of them expected that the trouble would involve a nun who was in the habit of joining the Mile High Club or a full-scale smear campaign targeting
Le Guide’
s credibility as France’s première restaurant and hotel guide. Someone has been spreading worrying rumours among the staff and infiltrating the company files – awarding hotels prizes for bedbugs and praising egg and chips signature dishes. Even Pommes Frites has become a victim of the assault.

It could all spell the ruin for
Le Guide
, but  

Pamplemousse is on the case …

M
ICHAEL
B
OND
was born in Newbury, Berkshire in 1926 and started writing whilst serving in the army during the Second World War. In 1958 the first book featuring his most famous creation, Paddington Bear, was published and many stories of his adventures followed. In 1983 he turned his hand to adult fiction and the detective cum gastronome par excellence Monsieur Pamplemousse was born.

Michael Bond was awarded the OBE in 1997 and in 2007 was made an Honorary Doctor of Letters by Reading University. He is married, with two grown-up children, and lives in London. 

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Monsieur Pamplemousse on Probation

Monsieur Pamplemousse on Vacation

Monsieur Pamplemousse Hits the Headlines

Monsieur Pamplemousse and the Militant Midwives

Monsieur Pamplemousse and the French Solution

Monsieur Pamplemousse and the Carbon Footprint