Moments In Time: The Complete Novella Collection (12 page)

“Marianne, how are you, darling?” Even when
I started going by my second name, Cora refused to stop calling me
Marianne, saying Marianne had done nothing wrong and didn’t deserve
to be forgotten.

A smile spread across my face, and I gripped
the phone tighter.

“Hi, Cora,” I said, my voice thick with
happy tears.

“Are you all right? You don’t sound it.” For
a woman who wasn’t my biological mother, Cora—she insisted only my
dead mother be called
Mom
—always had a knack for detecting
when I was down.

“I will be.” I sat up in bed and rubbed my
sore eyes.

“Tell me what happened, sweetheart.”

My foster parents and I talked once or twice
a month. When we didn’t, they sent me handwritten letters, along
with postcards informing me of their adventures in Germany or some
other European country. When we did talk over the phone, it was
usually when I needed Cora the most. Like today, when I’d almost
forgotten that I wasn’t all alone.

“Did something else about you and Nick
appear in the press?” When the first article about Nick and I
appeared, Cora was the first person I’d told. I had no reason to
lie to her; she knew all my secrets and supported me in every
way.

“Worse. They know about my past.” I rubbed
my right temple. “Everything.”

There was silence on the other end of the
line. And then Cora said in a hushed voice to Tim, my foster
father, “Book us onto the next flight. Marianne’s in trouble.”

“No,” I said quickly, trying to bring her
attention back to my voice. “Really, you don’t need to do that for
me. I’ll be fine.”

“We’d like to come and see that for
ourselves.”

“Mom,” I said. Sometimes I chose to ignore
our agreement—over the years she had been a mom to me in every way
that counted. A person can have more than one set of parents. “I
have to get through this alone.”

“That’s what you said when you insisted on
living and working in that homeless shelter. After all these years,
you’re still hurting. I want to hold you.”

“You don’t have to physically be here for me
to know I have your support. You’re always with me.”

“Sweetheart, are you sure?” a male voice
boomed down the line. The first time I’d heard his voice, when I
was introduced to them at the orphanage at the age of ten, I’d been
frightened by it. Now it brought me a sense of security and
comfort. “We can get on the next flight.”

“You don’t need to do that. Come next summer
like we planned. I need to sort this out by myself.”

Tim sighed, and I heard a flurry of
whispers.

Cora spoke into the phone again. “We’ll call
you again next week. If you still sound this upset, we’ll be there
by the weekend.”

“Deal.” All the more reason for me to sort
out the mess I was in quickly. Cora and Tim had opened their hearts
and home to me and loved me as their own. Now it was their time to
enjoy their early retirement. Plus, I was a grown woman—no longer
the orphan girl they’d taken under their wings.

When we ended the call, I climbed out of bed
and got dressed, grabbed my purse, and left the apartment. I needed
to see Melisa.

***

At the shelter, Lynnette received me with a
hug, wrapped me in a grey, tattered blanket, and made me a mug of
hot coffee. She led me to her crammed office.

“Carlene,” she said as we sat. Her
grey-streaked hair was disheveled, the curly strands hanging in
wisps around her lined face. Her eyes sparkled with tears. “I’m so
sorry for what Melisa did.”

“You knew?” My voice trembled.

“I tried to talk her out of it. But
obviously, she went ahead, anyway.” She sighed, and her shoulders
slumped. “She’s started drinking and gambling again.”

“Oh, no. Not after all the hard work.”
Melisa had been sober since the day I left Oasis.

Lynnette met my gaze again. “I’m afraid this
is the worst she’s ever been. One thing I know about her is that
she never steals. Never. But she stole money from me two weeks
ago.”

I pursed my lips. What more could I say? My
problems were big, but they could be solved. The press would lose
interest in me eventually. But Melisa was sick. “Where is she
now?”

“She left here two days ago with some biker
guy, headed God knows where. Said she won’t be back.”

“You didn’t ask where she was going?”

“She wouldn’t tell me. I think it’s the
guilt that drove her away. She does care about you, Carlene.”

I nodded, then sighed. “Where do you think
she is? I want to go and look for her.”

“You still want to help her after what she’s
done to you?”

“Yes. She wouldn’t have done what she did if
she wasn’t battling her addictions.”

Lynnette smiled, her teeth like polished
pearls in the light. “You have a beautiful soul, Carlene. People
like you will always find their happiness. Don’t let all this pull
you down. This is a bump in the road. A big one, but still just a
bump.”

“I wish it were a small bump.” I managed a
smile.

“You’ll overcome anything life throws at
you.”

“Thanks.” I squeezed her cold hand. Her
hands were always like ice. “Now let’s make a list of all the
places Melisa might be. She might need help.”

“Okay. I don’t think she mentioned a new bar
apart from the ones she used to go to before coming to Oasis.” One
of Melisa’s hobbies had been to tell everyone the names of all the
bars she’d been to. Almost like they were a collection.

“A while back I thought she told me a new
bar had opened up on Doreen Lane... Remy’s Bar or something,” I
said.

“I don’t know about it.”

I stood up and picked up my purse. “I’ll go
and see if she’s there.”

“Should I come with you?” asked
Lynnette.

“No,” I said. “You go and get ready for the
dinner crowd. I’ll give you a call to let you know if I was
successful.”

Lynnette hugged me again at the door. I
hailed five taxis until I finally found one that knew where Remy’s
Bar was. My search didn’t last long—in fact, it hardly even
started. At the entrance of the bar, Melisa sat cross-legged on the
sidewalk, leaned against the wall, with a bottle in one hand and a
bowl in the other. She wore an oversized coat, but she was still
shivering. Her cheeks were stained with dried tears.

“Melisa?” I kneeled before her.

She gave me a ghost of a smile. “My berry
best friend in the whole world.” Her bloodshot eyes blinked, and
she struggled to focus them on me. “Come sit. Sit with me, my berry
best friend.” She thumped the ground next to her with the
bottle.

“No, Melisa. I can’t stay. I came to get
you,” I said, ignoring the stench of alcohol and cigarette smoke
surrounding her.

She shook the bowl, and the sound of coins
rang out. Who would give change to a drunk person sitting in front
of a bar? “I didn’t make enough for another bottle. Go away. I
don’t need your help.”

“I’m not going anywhere without you.” I
glanced at my watch. It was almost nine. I was drained, but I
couldn’t leave her.

After much persuasion on my part and slurred
resistance on hers, I managed to pull her up and load her into a
taxi.

It took twenty minutes for us to arrive at
my apartment. I helped her bathe and prepared chicken soup and
bread for her to eat.

“You can spend the night here,” I said,
helping her into my guest bed.

I switched off the lamp on the night stand
and edged toward the door.

“I’m so sorry… I…” Melisa sobbed as I
reached for the handle. She had mostly sobered up. “I…”

“You don’t have to explain.”

“I’ve ruined everything for you.”

“No, I did that. Not you.”

She didn’t respond. I waited in the doorway
for a few moments until her breathing deepened and she slept.

Back in my room, lying under the covers and
staring at the ceiling, I made a decision. Now that so many people
knew what I’d done, the only way I could truly move on from Nick
and my past would be to leave Serendipity. I had to move someplace
else, where no one knew me.

“I know you keep saying I don’t owe you an
apology, but I’m so sorry, Carlene.” Melisa wrapped her hands
around the mug of steaming coffee I had just handed her. Her eyes
were empty and her red hair fell in tufts around her shoulders,
aflame against the white terrycloth robe she was borrowing.

I didn’t want to make her feel any worse
than she already felt, but I had to ask. “What caused you to
relapse?”

“A few weeks ago Lynnette sent me to carry
out some errands, and I saw someone from my past.”

I blinked. “Who?”

“Florian Dale. Or Heat, as everyone called
him.”

“The guy you said you had a crush on in high
school?”

Melisa’s eyes darkened, and she gazed into
her coffee. “Him. He was also my husband’s best friend. He didn’t
see me, but he still brought back memories from my old life…my
husband’s death, our baby.” She lifted her head again, eyes
sparkling. I’d never seen Melisa cry before last night. I always
knew her to have a shell that hid her vulnerable core from everyone
else. She drank and gambled instead.

“I couldn’t cope,” she continued. “Not on my
own. I wanted to forget it all.”

No one understood better than me what a hard
punch old memories could throw. When I moved to Oasis, I had been
running from those blows. But I didn’t turn to drinking or
gambling. “I’m actually surprised you hadn’t bumped into anyone you
knew till now.”

Melisa rubbed her eyes. “It’s not the first
time I saw someone I knew. It’s just that the others didn’t
matter.”

“I’m sorry this hit you so hard.”

She wiped her cheek and grabbed my hand, her
palm warm from the coffee mug. “No, I’m sorry. So sorry. There’s no
excuse for what I did to you.”

Every morning when I opened my eyes, I ached
for forgiveness for all the wrong I’d done. Who was I to deny
Melisa the same forgiveness I craved?

I squeezed her hand. “I forgive you.”

Melisa stood and engulfed me in a tight hug.
“Thank you. Thank you so much. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.
And I’ll never touch another drop.”

“I accept those promises.” I wrapped my arms
around her and stroked her hair. Then I pulled back and looked her
in the eye. “What did you do with the money the reporters gave
you?”

Melisa returned to her seat. “I didn’t take
it, in the end.”

“You gave away information and didn’t get
anything for it?”

She cast a glance downward. “As soon as I
told them what they needed to know, I realized what a shitty thing
I’d done. I couldn’t take the money.”

So I’d done the right thing by forgiving
her, even if what she did was foolish. “Thank you,” I said, and
gave her a small smile.

As I took our mugs to the sink, I told her,
“I made a decision last night about how to handle what
happened.”

Melisa joined me at the sink. She reached
for a dishcloth and wiped the mugs after I washed and rinsed them.
“Anything I can help with?”

“No. I’m leaving Serendipity.”

Melisa dropped the dishcloth on the dish
rack. “You’re leaving?”

I turned to her and crossed my arms. “This
place is tainted for me. Chris died here. Now everyone knows it was
my fault. When I came looking for you, people recognized me on the
street. They didn’t need to say a thing—the word
murderer
was written in their eyes.”

“I’ll miss you so much, but I understand.
When are you leaving? Where will you go?”

“Maybe next week. I haven’t thought about
where I’m going yet. But when I get there, I’d love for you to
visit.”

“I will.”

We hugged again for a long time, and then I
accompanied her to Oasis. I wanted to spend the rest of the day
with the friends I’d be leaving behind next week, and I took my
last chance to help out with cooking and serving lunch and
dinner.

I took on as many shifts as I could manage.
Helping others had helped me over the years.

“Aren’t you ever going to stop?” Lynnette
asked as I helped her load the industrial dishwasher. The residents
had finished eating dinner, and most of them disappeared quickly to
their sleeping hall.

I rinsed a plate under a scalding stream of
water. “Huh?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m
talking about.” Lynnette placed her hands on her waist and fixed me
with a serious gaze. “You’ve been working nonstop all day. You
haven’t even eaten.”

“I’m not hungry.”

She extracted the plate from my hands and
escorted me to one of the tables in the cafeteria, where I slumped
into a plastic chair.

“You’re still upset, aren’t you?”

I rubbed my temples. I’d been trying not to
cry all day. And now that I’d slowed down and had nothing to occupy
my thoughts, reality smacked me in the face. “My life is crumbling
and I’m not sure how to stop it,” I said as tears streamed down my
face.

“It’s all right to be sad, honey. Crying can
bring such relief.” She shifted her chair closer. “You know what?
You’re a strong woman. You will make it through this. I know you
will. Look what you’ve made it through already. I’m sure you’ll be
able to carve out a nice life for yourself wherever you end
up.”

“I hope you’re right.”

As I wiped the tears from my cheeks, Melisa
appeared and sat down next to me. Guilt was still written all over
her face. I draped a hand across her shoulders. I didn’t regret
forgiving her.

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked Lynnette.
I felt safe at the shelter, where I was surrounded by people who
cared for me. Oasis lived up to its namesake; it was a haven far
away from all the bad things that could happen to me in the real
world.

“Of course, you can stay here as long as you
want.” Lynnette patted my hand.