Mobster's Baby: Bad Boy Mafia Romance (19 page)

Axel

When I got to the house, the driveway was empty. My heart sank.

“It ain’t a joke,” I said under my breath. “He shot my fuckin’ father. If he thinks that’s a joke, then I’ll be butched.”

I decided to search the house, just in case Jackson had left me any clues as to where he was headed. Climbing out of the car, I saw something that made my mouth go dry.

“Shit,” I muttered. “What the fuck is that?”

Walking a few feet down the sidewalk, I saw a body. It was an old woman, a woman I recognized. She was someone I’d seen from time to time when I went out to get my mail, or when I kicked a girl out of my house in the wee hours of the morning. She’d been shot in the head. Blood was pooling around her body and her skin already looked like wax.

Jackson’s third victim
, I thought grimly to myself.
What a fucking motherfucker he is!

“I’m sorry,” I said to the body, feeling inadequate. Jogging back towards the house, I kicked open the front door. The house looked perfect, just as I’d left it. There was no sign of a struggle. I checked the stairs for blood, wondering how Jackson had managed to wrangle Portia outside so easily. She wasn’t a small woman, but he wasn’t a huge man either. I had to imagine she was so frightened that she either went with him willingly, or he’d surprised her.

Bounding up the stairs two at time, I checked my bedroom for signs of anything foul and unusual. It was a mess: the bed wasn’t made and the drawers had been yanked open, exposing my clothes.
That fucker
, I thought, realizing Jackson must have gone through my drawers, looking for money or a gun. I shook my head, relieved that I kept my gun in a secret hiding place: taped to the underside of the bureau. I reached below the bureau and yanked it out, sticking it in the back of my pants.

I’ll get you, asshole
, I thought. I was raging. I couldn’t ever remember being this angry. I hadn’t even been this angry when I suspected Leo was going to pick Jackson over me. I’d never felt like this; I’d never felt this horrid sense of betrayal.

And Portia. Suddenly, I regretted being so harsh with her. I knew that maybe, if I’d been a little kinder, this never would have happened. She never would have tried to leave if I’d shown her the love and support that she deserved. But there was no time to wallow now, no time to keep blaming myself. I had to figure out where Jackson had taken her, and I had to figure it out fast.

I ran back downstairs and grabbed a few bottles of water from the fridge, along with a sandwich I’d made and hadn’t eaten yet. I figured that Portia would be dehydrated when I found her, and she’d need to eat to keep up her strength for the baby. Jackson was a monster. Sure, the family had done some unsavory things in our day, but we’d never hurt a woman before, especially not a pregnant woman.

“There’s a special place in hell for you, Jackson boy,” I said as I shoved the foil-wrapped sandwich and bottles of water into a cooler. “And you ain’t gonna be happy when you get there.”

Finally, as a last resort, I checked the dining room. There was nothing missing, but I saw something glinting in the carpet. My heart leapt into my throat when I realized it was Portia’s half of Gianni’s locket. Jackson must have dragged her down the stairs, and I imagined it had come off in the struggle.

“I’ll give this back, as soon as I find you,” I promised, tucking the necklace inside of my pocket. “I promise.”

Five minutes later, I was back in the car. The sun was starting to set and I knew that I had to get to Portia fast. The nights in this part of the country got real cold, especially at this time of year, and she was bound to get sick if Jackson left her exposed to the elements. I could have killed him; I could have ripped him apart with my bare hands. I couldn’t believe that the man who had been raised as my brother would drag my wife and unborn child outside and leave them there. It was medieval, barbaric. The kind of thing he deserved to be tortured for.

On second thought, I ran back into the house and grabbed my tool box, throwing it in the back of my car. When I caught Jackson, I was going to make sure he had a very painful time left on earth before departing for hell. A sick grin twisted upon my lips. I’d never been filled with this kind of vengeance.

At first, the violence in the family had made me a little sick. I’d never understood the pleasure that Leo and Gianni took from torturing people. I’d always thought it was a little Roman, a little excessive. But now I understood. The desire to rip Jackson apart limb from limb was growing like hot air in my belly. I felt like someone had very literally lit a fire right underneath me, to keep me going, to make me care.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I relished answering this time, hearing Jackson’s voice, knowing that I was closing in on him. As soon as Portia was safe, I was going to rip him apart.

“Hi, Jackson,” I said in a calm, even voice. “I assume you’re calling to let me know the random is tripled?”

Jackson laughed heartily. I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle him. “We dumped Blondie in the woods,” he said with a cackle. “If you find her, she’s yours, Axel!”

I gritted my teeth and let out an animalistic, growling sound. “Fuck you,” I snarled. “Just going to let her die, are you? That’s real classy, Jackson.”

“I thought you’d appreciate it,” Jackson said. I could picture the very same snarl on his face that I was wearing. “So you better find her. You know, the nights around these parts of town get real, real cold.”

“I know that, shitwit,” I said, growling again. “Why the fuck are you doing this?”

“Because I want to see you sweat,” Jackson said. He laughed. “And because you were really getting on my fucking nerves about that coke deal. You really thought I was going to fucking help you! You really thought I gave a shit about what happened to your status in the business!” He laughed uproariously. “Like I would ever give a shit about you, Axel,” Jackson sneered. “You should have learned not to be such a fucking pest. You’re not a man at all, you’re a sniveling, conniving little brat.”

I was seething by the time Jackson was done with his statement. “Fuck you,” I replied again. “I’m in the car now, and I’m driving. I know I’ll find her, Jackson. And when I do, you’re dead fucking meat.”

“Yeah, right,” Jackson said casually. “You ain’t gonna find her. We did a real good job of hiding her, didn’t we, Rico?”

I shuddered. “You let Rico touch my fucking wife?”

“Maybe that’s not all I let him do,” Jackson said. I could hear him smiling through the phone. “Maybe it was. Guess you’ll have to find out yourself, won’t you?”

I hung up. I knew that Jackson hadn’t been on the road with me when he called me the second time. When he was driving, he always used a speakerphone and the quality of his voice wasn’t as good. Only one hour had passed and I knew he couldn’t have gotten very far out of town. Still, the sun was going down and I had my headlights on. It was freezing cold outside, and Portia had only been clad in a thin blouse and leggings.

I shuddered. If I didn’t find her, she and the baby growing inside her belly would die of hypothermia. I knew it as well as I knew the scars on my own body. Jackson had done this very carefully. There was a chance I would still reach her, but it would take me well out of the way, with my house unguarded.

I was glad I’d swung by and grabbed my gun.
Hold on, Portia, I’m coming
, I thought as I pressed my foot to the gas pedal and sent the Porsche hurtling down the highway outside of Morris.

I counted the mile markers, trying to calculate how far Jackson could have gotten. His car, a Mercedes, was nice but I knew that mine was faster and it likely wouldn’t take me as much time as it had taken Jackson. Plus, he was carrying Rico—who was heavy—and Portia.

When I got to mile marker seventeen, I parked my car on the side of the road and ran into the woods. It was fully dark now, and I knew that I had to find Portia as quickly as possible.

“Portia!” I yelled as loudly as I could. “Portia! I’m here! It’s me, Axel!”

Portia

As I watched the taillights of Jackson’s car fade to a dull red glow, I shivered.
It’s just you and me, baby,
I thought to myself.
We’re here alone
.

I hadn’t thought it was so cold when Rico first dragged me out of the car. But now that I was alone, I could feel the cold sitting on my skin like an uncomfortable sheath. I must have been panicking or full of adrenaline, but either way I’d thought it wouldn’t be that bad. I wouldn’t be that cold, just a little uncomfortable.

Damn. I’d been wrong. Now that the sun was setting, I was absolutely freezing. I’d always felt cold, even in the summer, but this was far from what I was used to. Goose bumps prickled over my whole body and I cursed myself for only having dressed in a thin top and jeans. I rolled my eyes. I’d thought the worst thing that had ever happened to me was being ignored by Axel after our first night together. God, had I ever been wrong.

“I’m sorry,” I said to the empty air around me. The woods were eerily quiet: there was no buzzing, no humming, nothing to indicate that I was surrounded by life. I shivered. I knew the woods were full of bugs and animals, but right now I didn’t hear anything. Maybe it was because of the cold, or maybe Jackson and Rico had scared them off.

“I get why you’re afraid,” I said softly. “They scared me, too. But they’re gone now. You can come out now.”

I laughed to myself. I was going crazy; talking to the woods like this! I should be ashamed. It was as bad as when I used to flounce around as a little girl, hell-bent on talking to my stuffed animals, and crying when they wouldn’t talk back to me. Mom had always said I’d been a weird child. I didn’t think she was correct; I was a weird
adult
. As a child, I’d been normal, just a bit imaginative.

I was so cold. I could feel the tip of my nose getting cold, the fat on my upper arms getting cold. My legs were cold inside of my jeans and my feet were sore from standing on them. Rico had lashed me so tightly to the tree that I could barely move. I was balanced on my tiptoes and every time I sank down, pain shot through my calves and thighs.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. But this time, I didn’t know who I was apologizing to. The baby? Myself? My dead parents?

“God, I’m a disappointment,” I added sadly, hanging my head. My hands were still bound in front of me, but thick rope was wrapped around my torso and midsection. The tree that Rico had found was gigantic. I guessed it was at least two hundred years old. When I looked up, leaves and branches obscured my view of the sky. In the distance, I could see the North Star shining on in twilight obscurity.

“Axel, please hurry up,” I begged. “Please, please, please!”

I closed my eyes, like I was making a wish. A sharp, painful memory struck me. Once, when I was a little girl away at camp, I’d been desperately homesick. I missed my mother. I hadn’t wanted to go to camp but Jeanine had talked me into it and I was stuck there. One night, I snuck away from the bonfire and stood alone in my cabin. Even now, I thought I could smell it: dust and little girl sweat and pine needles. We had watched
The Wizard of Oz
earlier in the day since it had been raining during the hour we’d normally have spent swimming. I’d never seen it before, and couldn’t wait to try something out. Even though I had stained tennis shoes instead of ruby slippers, I’d hoped it would work.

I’d stood on the floor of the cabin, closed my eyes, and said, “There’s no place like home” over and over again, spinning in a circle on the dirty floor. My imagination must have been pretty good as a little kid because for a moment, I could have sworn that I was home. I could almost smell Mom’s fresh cooking and feel the soft comforter on top of my bed.

But when I’d opened my eyes, it hadn’t worked. I was still at camp, and there were still two weeks to go before I could go home.

Now, I couldn’t escape the fact that I was stuck in the forest. Something moved inside my belly and I cried out—I still wasn’t used to feeling the baby move. I tried to shift downward, taking the rope away from my lower belly. Even though Rico and Jackson had hurt me, I didn’t want them to hurt the baby. I wanted to protect it with all my life, to make sure it would be okay no matter what.

“Baby, everything is going to be okay,” I crooned towards my belly. “I promise everything is going to be okay.” Emotion came over me and I found myself choking up as I talked to my child. “I’m so sorry about this, baby, I know it really sucks right now. But Daddy is going to rescue us, and everything is going to be alright in the end.”

I closed my eyes. There was no reply, of course. I hadn’t really expected the baby to respond to me, but the silence was almost comforting now. A feeling of guilt washed over me and I felt horrible.

“Baby, I’m sorry,” I said suddenly. “I’m really sorry about all of this. This is all my fault; I can promise you that. Daddy didn’t do anything at all to put us in this position. I should have told him about you, I should have told him as soon as I found out.” I thought of that horrible day at Jeanine’s house. Even though I still didn’t think I was ready for a baby, I couldn’t believe that I’d ever considered giving it up. I loved the baby growing inside of me now. I loved it more than I’d ever loved anything, even Chris. Even Axel. It felt…different.

“I’m so sorry,” I said again. “I really wanted to be there with you for your whole life. I really wanted to watch you grow up and play and sing songs.” I let out a long sigh. Tears filled my eyes and I sniffled as the hot water ran down my cheek.

“I love you, baby,” I said softly. “I love you so much.” I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what the baby would look like. I saw a baby girl with masses of dark hair from Axel and light eyes from me. She’d be smiling, with chubby cheeks and a little red nose. Suddenly, my stomach wrenched from wanting her so much. It was like she was real, like she was there with me in the woods.

“I love you, baby,” I said in a shaky, unsteady voice. I tried to clench my jaw but I realized my teeth were chattering, making it impossible to stay calm. “I love you, and you’re gonna have a great life, okay? Everyone around you is going to love you and take care of you, and you’re gonna want for nothing.” A little smile forced itself on my face as I thought of my father’s money, tucked away and waiting for me all this time. If I never got my hands on it, I wanted to make sure it would go to my baby. “I promise, everything’s going to be okay,” I said softly.

My body was aching from the ropes twisted around my midsection and I stretched as tall as I could before trying to slink down. No matter how I thrashed against the tree, the ropes held firm. I had no delusions about being able to get myself out of this; I knew it wasn’t possible.
But I can keep trying
, I thought to myself.
I want whoever finds me to know that I was trying really hard
.

A flash of panic crossed my brain. I’d forgotten exactly how far along I was. I wondered how long my baby would survive after I died. My body was freezing cold and every muscle was aching, but I knew I had to keep hanging on so my baby would stay alive.

“That’s my gift to you, baby,” I whispered softly. I wished I could stroke my stomach and feel the little girl kicking, strong and swift. I wished I could feel her heartbeat. I wished I could feel her warm weight in my lap, so real and alive. She’d be a chubby baby and everyone would laugh at how cute she was. Axel would be the most protective father in the world. I couldn’t stop myself from crying as I imagined what it would be like when she got to be a teenager.

“Baby, your daddy isn’t going to let you out of the house,” I said. “He’s going to protect you and love you and probably threaten every guy who even looks at you wrong.” I swallowed hard. A lump had formed in my throat. I was almost alarmed to discover that I’d lost feeling in my toes and my fingers. My body was starting to shut down, and it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. It was almost like sinking into a warm, relaxing bath.
Stop that
, I ordered myself.
You have to survive this. You have to live! You have to do as much as you can to protect your baby!

“But it’s hard,” I mumbled. “It’s hard. I don’ wanna… I don’ wanna keep going.” I could feel my body weakening. I could feel that my cells wanted to give up, to shrivel and die. It would be easy. It would be like falling asleep.

A sharp kick in my lower belly made me open my eyes and look around. Suddenly, I was hit with a wave of shame.
This is what happens when you start giving up,
I thought.
Your baby knows what you’re doing. She doesn’t want you to give up
.

But I couldn’t make myself stay awake. I felt like a weak, pathetic fool. I felt like the worst mother on the planet and I hadn’t even given birth yet.

“I wish I could have gotten to see you grow up,” I whispered softly. “I wish I could watch you graduate from high school and go to college and get married. And you’re going to college!” I added firmly. But talking to my baby seemed to have taken the last of my strength. When I’d uttered the last of my words, I collapsed and sagged against the ropes that bound me to the tree.

I didn’t blame Axel. It wasn’t his fault that he wasn’t able to rescue me. It was the oddest thing: as soon as I decided to give up and let myself die, I started hearing my name. At first, I thought it was the baby talking to me. Then, I realized it was a hallucination. All traces of hope left me, and I found that I didn’t even have the strength to cry anymore.

I wished I could remember the Lord’s Prayer. I wished I could remember anything from church, anything that would have helped. But racking my brain was only making me more tired.

Something was tugging at the ropes around my waist. I opened my eyes, expecting to see an animal or something. But it wasn’t an animal.

“Leave me alone,” I mumbled. “Go away.”

Then I heard my name again.

“Hello?” My mouth was dry and my voice was weak, as quiet as it had ever been. “Hello? Is someone there?” My heart started beating faster suddenly, and I felt like I was getting more oxygen in my lungs. I was so cold that I couldn’t feel anything, but a sudden ray of hope shot through me. Maybe I would be okay. Maybe I would manage to survive this.

“Portia!” The cry was resolute and sharp. I opened my eyes and saw Axel standing in front of me. Weakly, I started to cry.

Axel’s eyes were wide and he gasped when he saw me. He dropped to his knees and I felt him fussing with the rope around my waist. Then, somehow, it was laying on the ground in a harmless coil. It didn’t even look as threatening as a snake.

“Come on,” Axel said. He pulled me forward and wrapped me in his coat. “Come on, I’ve got you.”

I couldn’t move on my own. Axel was half dragging, half carrying me out of the woods. My teeth were chattering uncontrollably and even though he’d freed me from my bonds, I still ached like I was tied to the tree. My vision was blurred and I could only make out a few shapes.

“Over here,” Axel said in a low, soothing voice. I heard the sound of something opening, like a hinge, and then I was being pushed onto something soft. A car seat. Axel had brought his car, and he was putting me in the passenger seat.

“It’s okay,” Axel said in a soothing voice. “It’s all going to be okay.”

I couldn’t help it. I blacked out.