Mixed Blessing (Mixed Blessing Mystery, Book 1) (2 page)

I wanted a lot of things, but the Dark Shadow only laughed. She laughed and laughed and laughed; taunting me, teasing me, belittling me. What I wanted was a pipe dream. What I wanted no longer existed for me.

The young guy returned for a final drink, a final smile and his final chance of escape.
Leave now,
my Light-filled side commanded.
Run while you can.
Instead I found myself saying, “Meet me out front in fifteen?” He nodded, in a daze. And I hadn't even used an ounce of
Sanguis Vitam
.

Fifteen minutes felt like fifteen hours. I worked on autopilot, but never failed to know where my target currently was. One sip of his drink. A bark of near drunken laughter in response to one of his friend's jokes. A hand through his sandy blonde short hair. A quick glance towards me at the bar. Then a furtive gaze over the top of another sip from his glass. He took a break to go to the toilet, but I wasn't concerned he would escape. His eyes never left me as he crossed the floor.

He wanted me to follow him, but I wouldn't.
Sensations
was off limits. He didn't know this, but even my Dark Shadow resisted my prey's pull. Patience was the hunter's helper. Patience and a keen nose for blood.

I served the last customers of the night and cleaned the bar top. Loaded the last of the glasses in the dish drawer under the bar, the rest would go out to the kitchen and the larger dish drawers there. The busboy could handle those. The bell was rung, the bar was closed and Doug proceeded to gently round up the crowd and suggest they head for the door. He never turfed them out immediately. Always gave them a moment to gather their courage and finish their drinks.

The pull that brought the Norms to the bar was hard to switch off. Even if the vampires had all but left, waiting in the shadows on the street outside, the Norms clung to the safety they perceived in the dim light of the club. It was only their sense of propriety that convinced them in the end to leave.

I chucked my apron in the hamper by the basement door and fished my keys out of my pocket, giving the illusion of normality. Doug watched as I crossed the floor to the front door. Normally I would say goodbye, but my fangs were too long to talk.

I stepped out into the cool night air and walked some distance away. Stashing my keys back in my pocket, I removed my disposable contact lenses and discarded them in a nearby bin. No more than thirty seconds later my prey emerged from the sanctum of the club.

I sighed. He'd had his chance not to follow. I hadn't even looked at him as I left the bar. He could have taken a bit longer to finish his drink, Doug would have allowed it. Even knowing I needed to feed, Doug still fights for the Norm's rights to say no. He would have provided a safe haven for my young guy, if the young guy had indicated he needed one.

He hadn't, so here we were. Him saying goodbye to his friends. A few coarse comments and ribbing from his supposed mates and then with hands in pockets he sauntered over to where I stood in the shadows of a tall building. Waiting.

“
Hi,” he said awkwardly. Not sure what to do now when faced with the object of his desire. I smiled winningly and batted my eyelashes a little demurely making sure he couldn't see the red that now would be obvious in the lights. This one would like a little less brash and a little more girl, I thought. He relaxed ever so slightly.

“
Do you live around here?” I had a sudden hankering for more than just blood. Or at least, my Dark Shadow did.

“
No, North Shore.” Damn. I didn't ever take them home, even when the Dark Shadow won and I let her feed off more than just blood. It was never at my place. That was my sanctuary. My haven from the evil in the world.

“
Come on,” I said and clasped his hand, “walk with me a bit.”

His palm was sweaty. He was nervous. I didn't think he had picked a girl up in a bar before. I'd have to make sure I gave him a good memory when I finally glazed him, but first, we needed a quiet spot.

I had no intention of harming him. My Dark Shadow may have wanted more than just blood and sex, but I was still in charge. I would take only what I needed and no more, and in return he'd have a memory to rival all others. That way, Lucinda wouldn't feel compelled to hunt me. To follow that Nosferatin pull that would lead her to a vampire about to kill.

Young pre-college boy didn't know what he was offering, but he was offering it willingly. There was no theft about to be performed.

I led him down a dark alley away from the late night, or early morning bustle, of Karangahape Road, or K Road as we called it. He followed without a care, he was so besotted he didn't even realise the danger he was willingly walking into. I stopped at the darkened stoop of the back door to a business, long since closed for the day. Turning to him, I laced my arms about his neck and pulled his body against mine.

“
You're cute,” I purred against his ear, his hands started roaming hungrily. I wished for the thousandth time, that they would fight. That this one would be the one to deny me what my body craves. This one would hold the key to my salvation. But he didn't. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. But, for a very different reason.

His hand had made it under my tank top, one smooth move and he had released my bra strap at the back. I was impressed, but also hungry. My eyes, when I opened them, cast an eerie red glow about the alley we are in. I let him cop a feel then pulled back and whispered, “Look at me.”

He did, they all do. It was so damn easy I wanted to cry. In a second he'd think he was between silk sheets, wrapped up in an unknown woman's embrace. She'd be hot, he'd think he was in heaven. I made him believe he performed magic with his hands and mouth. That she told him he was the best she had ever had. She cried out in ecstasy again and again and he knew it was because of him. I made him believe he was a god tonight.

Then I bit. I bit before I lost my courage. I bit before the Light inside rebelled. I had come too far to not feed this night. If the Dark Shadow was denied now, people would die.

The first mouthful of his life giving blood exploded in my mouth. I cried out in bliss, giving the guy in my arms real material for his glazed induced dream. One swallow led to another and another. The world dimmed to just me and my prey. So sweet, so thick, so beautiful. In that moment I worshipped the body before me. I honoured it with each pull of blood from its veins. I relished it. I devoured it. I consumed it.

I was alive again and the world was a brighter place.

And then I heard the faint beat of his heart; staggering, failing, slowing. The Dark Shadow growled when I tried to withdraw my fangs. This was the hardest part. The battle of wills. She was strong, but then so was I. I would not harm this boy, this giver of life. I would not kill despite my body's desire to do so. We raged a war for a few more seconds, seconds that felt too long for the boy and not long enough for the vampire within.

Finally, I won. I licked the puncture wounds closed. And breathed freely for the first time in days. My eyes would be cerulean blue again. My skin clear and soft and supple. To a Norm I would look full of life, glowing, ethereal almost. To a vampire I would be considered dangerous. There is nothing more powerful than a well fed Nosferatu.

The guy pulled back in a daze, his face one big lazy smile.

“
You were fantastic,” I whispered into the space between us. “Go catch a taxi and go home to sleep it off.”

He nodded, brushed a kiss against my lips. I let him. And then he was gone. And I was alone, in the murky shadows with my guilt and my rage and my hurt and anger and anxiety.

I was one of them tonight. I was the predator humans should fear. I was not the vampire hunter, I was the vampire.

The tears began and I slouched down into the darkness of the stoop.

I felt so damn alone.

People think vampires don't dream. Common mythology would have you believe we die when the sun shines and don't rise from the dead until it sets. I don't know what my body does when it rests for the day, but I do know my mind, soul, and heart... dream.

Memories of a life lived and lost. Images playing like a movie reel in my mind. Over and over again. And vampires have good memories, we remember with a clarity and certainty that humans are incapable of. We can also dream in the true sense of the word. We have hopes and desires, fears and anxieties like any other creature, but I can always tell when one dream is fabricated and another is reality come to haunt me again.

I'm not sure how I got home from that alley or how long I sat hunched in on myself feeling such guilt at what I had become. Such loneliness in the knowledge I was one of
them
.
  But somehow I made it back to my apartment, showered off as much of my sins as I could manage and climbed into my bed.

Maybe because the last conscious thoughts in my head, before sleep stole me from the world, were filled with anger and hurt, I dreamt of reality. Memories of my past life coming alive again inside my mind. There to torment me further, to reinforce how alone I now was. To remind me of a life where I had thought nothing could touch me, reach me in my cocoon of happiness.

It was always these remembered moments, brought to life in my dreams, that hurt the most. I have no idea what my body does when I sleep, but when these dreams haunt me I always wake with tears drying on my cheeks.

As the first dream began, I prayed to anyone who would give a damn about a monster like me, that this time it would be different. This time I'd break the cycle and dream of something sweet.

Not that my memories weren't sweet, they just fell more into the bitter-sweet category, than outright
sweet
...

"Babe, come to bed." His voice always made my heart miss a beat. That deep, seductive purr, laced with a hint of an English accent that sent shivers down my spine.

"In a minute," I replied, not lifting my head from the cocktail recipe book I was studying. Cocktail Happy Hour week at
Sensations
and my boss insisted I knew every single one of these suckers by heart. I knew them all, but by heart? Not a chance.

"Don't make me come over there and get you," he growled, but I could tell he was smiling through the words. He
wanted
to come over here and get me.

I could oblige.

"Ah-huh," I mumbled and renewed my efforts. My eyesight blurred over the measurements for a Paihia Peach Punch.

I didn't hear him move. Surprising really, the sheets on his bed were Egyptian cotton, the finest quality, but even those made a sound when you moved from beneath them. Samson was like a phantom in the night sometimes, silent feet, as quick as any cat on the prowl.

"Gotcha!" he murmured in my ear as his strong arms came around my stomach and chest, and his face nestled in my hair at the side of my neck. "Now," - he ran a tongue down the side of my neck, something he did frequently, something I'd never had a boyfriend do before, but I'd decided I liked very much indeed - "what shall your punishment be for making me come get you?"

I giggled, I couldn't help it, he had a way of sounding so upright and formal, but what he was doing with his hands right now was anything but upright and formal.

"Samson," I warned.

"Oh no, my beauty. You made me move, now you shall pay."

In the next second I was airborne, flying through the short space from the desk I had been sitting at in the corner, to the centre of his king-sized bed. I landed with a "humph" as the air exploded from my chest... and then he was on me.

He never "attacked" from the same angle or position every time. Sometimes he'd pin me with his large frame, his hands securely containing mine at the sides of my head. Or he'd straddle my hips, loom above me displaying the best set of pecs and abs I'd ever seen in real life or in a magazine. But this time, he chose to approach from my feet, his large, warm hands wrapping around each ankle, as he crawled up my body, laying kisses on the inside of each calf, each knee, then slowly, tortuously up each inside thigh.

I watched his blond hair, bed tousled and sexy-messy, as he nuzzled the crease between my leg and my pelvis. His tongue flicking out and under my cotton panties. I'd never had a lover like Samson before, so attentive, so caring, so in-tune with what my body craved. He never sought his own release until he was sure I'd had my fill. Sometimes, I'd beg him to finish, my body too over-sensitised by his touches, his caresses, his kisses, his heat.

Samson knew how to love a woman and he was all mine.

The dream disappeared as that thought registered in my mind, then quickly segued into another.

"I'll have a dry white wine."

The woman before me was exquisitely beautiful, but she knew it, I was sure. Blonde hair styled to perfection, heat straightened to within an inch of its life. Make-up, a little too heavy, but only just shy of perfect. Deep red lips, that pouted a smidgen too much. A low neckline that plunged a fair few centimetres further than it should have, ample breasts, cinched waist, and long, long legs wrapped up in a skin tight black leather skirt.

Sensations
always overflowed with the rich and beautiful, this woman fitted in, to... perfection. I'd heard a lot about the "in" club in town before I came to work here. The place to see and be seen at. But attendance was not easy, the queue outside the door after Happy Hour, winding down the street a good distance. The bouncers quite discerning on who they let into the inner sanctum that is
Sensations
on a Friday night.

It was a step up from every other bar I'd worked at for the past six years and I was still reeling from having got the job. My second day on shift and it was proving to be an eye opener at that. I couldn't quite believe my luck, but my new boss, Doug, had said his last bartender had disappeared suddenly and I was helping him out in a bind. He seemed genuinely pleased to have hired me. I just hoped I didn't muck tonight up at all.

I slid the Sauvignon Blanc across the bar top to the blonde and offered my best beaming smile, intending to make every single customer there tonight feel special, even if they screamed "too perfect to be true" like this woman did. She didn't even register my smile, too busy pouting and taking in the entirety of the club room itself. She did manage to slide a twenty across the bar to me, although our eyes never met once.

"Where is he?" she asked the redhead next to her, drumming her manicured, blood red polished nails on the bar top.

The redhead offered an elegant shrug of her shoulders, but didn't offer up an answer to the blonde's demand.

"He said he'd meet me here. You don't think he changed his mind, do you?" The uncertainty that entered her voice was surprising, she seemed so sure of herself before. I smiled again as I slid her change across the bar top, even if she wasn't looking at me, I was determined that every customer tonight would receive the Georgia Deverell signature smile. I loved my job, especially listening in on snippets of people's lives such as this.

The blonde suddenly turned her attention to me, catching my smile and blinking twice before asking, "Do you know Samson Beauregard? Has he been here tonight?"

I kept the smile on my face, but shook my head. "Sorry, only my second night here. I haven't learnt the names or faces of the regulars yet."

"Well, you'd remember him," she breathed in a purr. The redhead nodded in agreement.

"Are you early?" I offered in womanly support as I wiped down the bar between us. "Maybe he'll still show."

She returned my smile, but it was fake. A woman can tell a fake female smile a mile away.

"Oh, he'll definitely show. I made sure of that when I left him last night."

The redhead giggled into her wine glass. I resolutely kept the smile on my face and turned to another customer. Two more customers in and I knew her beau had arrived. Their chatter had ceased, blonde's chest had puffed out, hair flicked over her shoulder to reveal cream coloured skin at her neck, a seductive curve to her lips and a knowing glint in her eyes. She batted her eyelashes in a way that I would have loved to tell her looked ridiculous, but I could tell she thought looked coy.

I smothered a huff of laughter before it escaped my lips and concentrated on my next customer to her side.

"Lisa, a pleasure as always." Jeesh, what a voice, so deep and sexy. And was that an English accent? My eyes flicked over to the blonde's beau and my breath suddenly caught in my lungs. Wow.

"Samson, you're late," she pouted.

"I never promised to be here, my sweet. But as luck would have it, I have been called in to work."

"Work?" she asked, mortification lacing the word. As if she couldn't fathom why he would have to work on a Friday evening and especially as she was standing right there. The huff of laughter at that thought slipped out before I could contain it.

It hadn't been loud and the room was full to capacity, so how he heard it, I don't know. But I knew his eyes were on me. I kept mine resolutely on the customer I was serving, until I felt the heat of his gaze disappear. Then I chanced a quick flick of my gaze towards him, stunned again at how gorgeous he was.

Blond hair, down to his shoulders, loose and framing smooth cream, deeply cut cheekbones, firm jawline, and the most stunning chocolate brown eyes I'd ever seen. The blonde was one lucky lady.

"But, honey, we were going to spend the evening together. Remember last night?" she asked in a low, sexy voice.

"Intimately," he replied and I felt a twinge of jealousy at those words. If only a man like that remembered a night with me "intimately".

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the blonde lift her hands to rest on his broad chest, her fingers gripping the ribbed material of his long-sleeved cream t-shirt, her hips pressed familiarly against his own.

"Perhaps we should revisit those memories," she suggested.

"Alas, my sweet, but my employer wishes my services tonight. I can not."

She huffed out a breath in frustration, then to my horror - for her - she said in a whine, "But, it was so much fun! You had fun, didn't you?"

I shook my head subtly to myself, the girl was heading for a crash and burn if ever there was one. When my eyes lifted to take in her beau's response, I found rich, dark chocolate staring back at me, a twitch at the edge of his lips. I smiled, my bartender's smile, and received a beaming grin back for my efforts.

I think I forgot to breathe.

"Lisa," he purred, returning his attention to the blonde. "It was fun, my sweet, but now you shall move on."

I thought his phrasing was unusual, like he was insisting she "move on" and that she had no choice in the matter. I couldn't see "Lisa" letting go that easily, she had perfected her trap and she was too close to getting her prize. I'd seen many women like her from behind the barrier of a bar top, determined to bag the best looking in the room. She'd had a taste of this guy, she wasn't going to turn away with her tail between her legs. Women like Lisa made an art form out of hunting their prey.

"Oh," she breathed, "perhaps you are right." My gaze flicked unapologetically to the threesome, the redhead also nodding in agreement with her friend.

The guy's eyes weren't on them, but me, his height making it easy to catch my eyes over the head of the blonde miraculously about to leave with her tail between her legs. I held his gaze unable to move an inch, barely breathing, feeling like I was falling into those deep pools of chocolate brown.

"It was fun, honey," Lisa said, taking a step back. "Take care now," she added, before picking up her wineglass and with redhead in tow, walking across the room to a group of guys on the other side. The entire walk, however long it took her to negotiate the dancers on the floor, I was trapped in the steady and I thought perhaps, possessive, gaze of Lisa' ex-beau.

Finally he spoke.

"And who would you be?" The English accent more pronounced, his words breaking the spell I seemed to be under.

For some reason I felt like playing with him, he had seemed to have played with Lisa so it fit.

"Out of your league, sunshine."

He stared at me for a moment and then threw his head back and laughed. A full bodied laugh that went straight through to my bones. I was sure I'd never hear a sound so beautiful again in my life. I was sure, right then, that his laugh was... perfection.

The dream disappeared and for a moment my conscious mind surfaced. For a moment I felt my slumbering body take a deep, fortifying breath in. Even if I no longer needed one, I still took the opportunity to inhale, because I knew my dreams weren't done with me tonight. I knew there were more exquisite memories to plague my sub-conscience with.

"Babe, eat," Samson instructed, from across his side of the table.

"You're not eating," I pointed out, trying - no doubt futilely - to direct his astute gaze from my barely touched plate to his. I was too excited to be eating. Too happy walking a tightrope between ecstasy and bliss.