Mistletoe and Magic (12 page)

“How are you today, Mal?” Dina said, stopping by the display.

“Tired.”

“You look tired. Aren’t you sleeping well?”

“I don’t know. I think I am, but I’m still feeling pretty tired when I wake up. I guess it’s just the late hours in the shop and trying to get things set up for Christmas. The kids are very excited we’re celebrating this year. If I had known they were missing celebrating this much, I would have had Christmas last year.” She was distracted when a car passed by the window and blew the horn. She gave a wave and turned back to Dina. “Do you realize the anniversary date of Mitch’s death was December 10th, and neither of the girls remembered?” she said in a low voice so Jenny and Lacey would hear her. “I’d say that’s progress.”

“Me too, Mal. After what that louse did to you, he doesn’t deserve any remorse.”

“I agree. Jenny even had an exam that day, so she knew the date.” She gave a nonchalant wave of her hand. “I didn’t expect Lacey to figure it out.” She smiled. “She’s like a whirling dervish anyway.”

“And that’s a good thing. You wouldn’t want her to be moping around.”

“Yeah, having one of those is enough.”

“So when are you going to start up with your parties again?”

“Lacey asked me about that too, but I don’t have time to cook and wouldn’t know what to feed people.” Mallory got down from the window display with Dina’s help. She blew out air.

“Do you remember my friend, Jodi?”

“Vaguely. What about her?”

“She graduated from culinary school a few years ago. Jodi recently quit her job because she can’t afford the babysitter anymore. Her husband said she was basically working to pay the sitter. So she does want to continue to work, but she’d like to do something from home. I can call and see if she’s free to cook for the party—that’s if you want to hire her.”

“Have you tasted her cooking?”

“Yes, and so have you. She worked at Michael’s in Gladstone.”

“Ooh. I love their food.” Dina handed her a business card. “You just happen to have her card on hand, huh?”

Dina laughed. “We had drinks last night, and I asked her to give me her cards. We see more people in the shop than she could ever come into contact with.”

“Okay. Put her cards on display if you want. I’ll call her as soon as I’m finished with this display.”

“Uh, Mal, I think you should call her now before she books someone else. I’ll finish the display.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Mallory headed to her office. “If she’s available then the party’s on,” she said over her shoulder. “If not, then the party is off. But even if she says she will, I can’t imagine who’ll come at this late date.”

“I’m ready for one of your parties. As for guests, why don’t you leave that up to me?”

“Sure, why not? Invite anyone you can think of. The more the merrier. Lacey really wants a party.” The sick feeling in her stomach returned, but having a party would make a special Christmas for the girls, and that was what was important right now.

“How are you girls doing with the bows?”

“Good, Mommy,” Lacey said. “I made more bows then Jenny.”

“Yeah,” Jenny said, “but mine are prettier.”

“They are not.”

“They are too.”

Mallory stood and stared them down. “Enough.”

“Okay, Mom. I was only kidding her.”

Lacey started to say something. “Lacey, hush.”

Mallory walked into her office and dialed Jodi’s phone number and daydreamed while she waited for her to pick up hoping AJ would be in the showroom when she returned. Ten minutes later, Mallory came out of her office.

“Christmas party is on, girls.”

“Yay.” Lacey ran toward her. “Oh, Mommy, I’m so excited.”

“I know. Me too.” She turned and headed back out into the showroom and saw that the store was packed with customers. Scanning the room with her eyes, an empty feeling churned in her stomach and tugged on her heartstrings when she didn’t see him. She pulled herself together as two customers approached, but that did nothing to stop her mind from working overtime.

The very fact that things had begun to work in her favor with the two girls and him was totally confusing. Maybe he was afraid of commitment. She scoffed. Maybe, maybe, maybe. She sucked in a breath and decided there could be a million and one reasons why he hadn’t been around. Miriam’s Tarot readings came to mind. Yeah, a lot of good they did her. For whatever reason he was absent, this would definitely be the last time she’d fall for that voodoo crap again. She couldn’t believe she’d actually started to believe there was more to those readings than she’d originally thought.

“What did Jodi say?” Dina asked when things slowed down a bit.

“She’s on her way over to the shop for the house key. She’ll cook today and tomorrow.”

“Good. What is she making?”

“I told her she could make whatever she wants. Just to make it festive and plentiful. I also invited her to join us.”

“That was nice of you.”

“Well, they weren’t doing anything special for the holiday with both their families living out of state. Besides, it’ll be good exposure for her new business venture.”

“You definitely have the spirit of Christmas in your heart, Mal,” Dina said, giving her a tight hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sis.”

~~~

“Girls, let’s go for pizza tonight,” Mallory said closing the shop.

“Can we bring it home with us instead?” Jenny asked.

“If that’s what you want to do, but then we have to clean up afterward and I’m too tired to clean. Why don’t you want to eat at the restaurant?”

“Because I want to give you your Christmas present.”

“Oh, sweetie, wouldn’t you rather wait until Christmas to do that?”

“No, Mom. I want you to have it tonight. You’ll understand why after you open your gift.”

“All right. Then let’s get going because now I can’t wait.”

“Does that mean we get to open all our gifts tonight, Mom?” Lacey asked.

Mallory laughed. “No. You have to wait for Santa.”

“That’s not fair,” Lacey complained.

“Life isn’t fair, my darling, but you learn to roll with the punches.” She guided them toward the door. “Let’s go order our pizza.”

~~~

“Wow, the house smells good, doesn’t it?” Lacey said while Jenny walked to her bedroom.

“Yeah, Jodi’s been cooking all day for Christmas Eve’s party.” Mallory inhaled, “And this pizza smells pretty good too. Why don’t you get the paper plates, Lace?”

“Okay, Mommy.”

Seconds later and Jenny reappeared with a gift-wrapped box in her hand and gave it to her mother. “Merry Christmas, Mom. I love you.”

“Thank you. Do you want me to open this right now?”

“Right now.”

Mallory removed her coat and sat down on the sofa.

“I’ll get the pizza and bring it into the living room so you can eat while you’re opening your present.”

“Thank you.” Mallory shook the light box and heard something moving around inside and decided it may have broken when she shook it. Regardless, she was going to love whatever it was no matter what. She slid her fingers under the tape and lifted the lid. Jenny’s eyes remained affixed on her mother’s face. Inside, Mallory found an envelope and tore it open. It was a letter written in Jenny’s handwriting.

Dear Mom,

I have so much to tell you. Dr. Bean thought this would be a good time to give you this letter so we can start to put all the bad stuff behind us and start fresh. I’ve always wanted our lives to be like the families they show in the Disney movies. Maybe that’s not exactly possible, but I’d sure like to try.

Today I want to tell you how sorry I am and apologize for all the nasty things I’ve said to you. I’ve been blaming you for killing Dad because you upset him. But it wasn’t you who upset him. He was mad at me. And I’ve blamed myself ever since and used you as my whipping post.

Dr. Bean tells me being mean was my way of pushing you away so you’d hate me the way I hated myself. She said by saying all those things, I was punishing myself because I didn’t deserve to have a mom like you. And the more you tried to console me, the meaner I got.

That day when Dad stormed off like a teenager, it wasn’t because of your argument with him; it was because of what I said to him. I thought if I begged him to stay home, he’d stay home for me, but he laughed in my face too. That’s when I got mad and said I was going to tell you what he’d been doing all this time. You didn’t know it, but he smacked me and sent me to my room. Since he didn’t stay home, I guess Lacey and I didn’t mean very much to him either. But I guess the important thing here is to tell you even though I blamed you for his death, it was because of me that he died. Not you.

Tears rolled down Mallory’s cheeks. She looked at Jenny whose tears were rushing down her cheeks at the same time. Mallory pulled Jenny down on the sofa and hugged her tight, then put her arm around her waist and continued to read.

But I guess I should start at the beginning.

Remember when Dad was out of work and he’d watch me during the day so you could go to the shop? Well, it was during those days that he’d take me with him to ride. At least, that’s what he told you. The only riding we did was to see his friends and this woman named Ellie.

Once we got there, he’d drink a lot and smoke. At the time, I didn’t know he was smoking pot until we covered that subject in health class. I should have realized something was wrong by the way they all acted, but I guess I was too young to know any better. And I’m sure that’s just what he was counting on. I thought they were just having a good time.

It wasn’t until I saw Dad and Ellie in bed one day that I became confused. Dad was kissing her and well…let’s just say I was naive. When I asked him about the other times I’d see them together, his answer was always the same. They were just kissing friends. He said it wasn’t any different than when he kissed Aunt Dina hello. He explained the bed part by saying he’d had a headache and fell asleep, and again, he compared it to me crawling into bed with you. He asked me not to tell you because you wouldn’t understand, so I kept his secret.

There were even times when Ellie watched me so Dad could misbehave with his friends. And for a while, I believed all the bad things he said about you. At night when I’d hear you two fighting behind closed doors, I figured all those things he said were true.

But then something changed along the way. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I started paying more attention to your fights. As I’d sit by your closed bedroom door at night, I’d listen to you beg him to stop. That’s when I began to realize he’d lied to me. I heard you tell him you didn’t want to lose him and heard him laugh and call you names. I even heard you tell him how important your marriage was, that you could handle most things, but cheating wasn’t one of them. And I listened to him lie to you over and over again. He said you were imagining things.

I guess the worst part for me was when you begged him to stay home so we could spend some family time together, and he smacked you so hard, you were sobbing. Yeah, I could hear that noise through the door. I cried myself to sleep that night and many nights since then.

Dr. Bean tells me I’m not responsible for his death. She said I have a lot of work to do yet, and that I’m carrying around things I shouldn’t have to for a girl my age. It wasn’t fair for him to put me in that position, but it isn’t fair for me to blame you either. You did nothing wrong by trying to keep us together. It was Dad who was mean and selfish.

If I were granted one Christmas wish, my wish would be that someday you’ll find a man who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and be a good dad to Lacey and me.

Despite Dad’s flaws, I will always love and miss him, but I won’t ever forgive or forget what he’s done to us as a family.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for treating you badly. I really didn’t mean all those things I said and it feels so good to finally be able to tell you about it. I hope you believe that I never meant to hurt you.

Merry Christmas, Mom. I love you with all my heart. Jen

Mallory reached for a napkin and wiped her nose; the tears refusing to stop from the ache in her heart. “Jenny, I had no idea you were carrying around such terrible guilt.” She pulled her close. “I’m so sorry. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you were finally able to tell me all that stuff corroding your mind.”

Reaching for Lacey, she pulled her into the fold and together, they all cried. Moving in front of them, she kneeled down and dried their tears. Lacey seemed to be confused and not understanding what was happening, but cried right along with them. “I love you girls,” Mallory said, brushing their hair back, “and no matter what, you’ll always be the most important part of my life. Always remember that.”

“Mommy,” Lacey said, “Why are we all crying?”

“Because I have my family back.”

“We didn’t go anywhere,” she said. “Did we?”

“No, you didn’t, sweetheart. Somehow, we got lost along the way, but now we’ve found each other for evermore.” She turned toward Jenny. “Are you okay now?”

“I’m relieved Mom. Thank you for understanding.” She kissed her mother’s cheek. “I know we’re going to be fine now and that we can work it out as a family.”

“Yes, we can.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Mallory closed the store at four o’clock on Christmas Eve. Relieved to have a few days off so she could spend it with the two most important people in her life, she thought about Jenny’s confession and it hurt her to think that her daughter had carried around that guilt for two years; even longer since she knew about her father’s lies.

It was now four days since she’d seen or heard from AJ and although it hurt like hell inside her aching heart, she chalked it up to things working out the way they were supposed to. With the store closed, she had four solid days to spend with the girls, the beginning of rebuilding their lives and she was ready to put everything she had and more into helping Jenny deal with the seesaw effect of her emotions.