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Authors: Ron L. Hubbard

Tags: #sf_humor

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BOOK: Mission: Earth "Disaster"
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The vast, glistening expanse of ice was closing rapidly. It now had about a hundred thousand miles to go. We were pacing beside it. Our digitals read three hundred miles a second, eighteen thousand miles a minute. Another clock was running backwards: It said there was 5.555 minutes to go. Heller drew a long sigh. He looked over at the ice. He looked at the planet surface. He looked at his instruments.
"Well, it's a good thing we had it slowed down," he said. "There's nothing I can do."
He worked the controls and we drew off.
The great ice mass raced ahead. It was plunging at an angle toward a spot beyond the north pole.
It was going to strike a glancing blow but it would be a blow all the same.
The seconds ticked by into minutes.
I knew the TV would be alive. I wished he would turn it on. This thing would have been spotted within the last hour. There must be bulletins every minute on this "comet" that had suddenly appeared up in the sky. It must be eyeball visible from northern Canada and maybe even England now.
It was closing with ferocious speed, fifteen times that of the average meteorite. It certainly was not on target for the north pole! It was going to miss it and hit at a flatter angle.
Sweden and Finland? No, they were slightly to the right of it.
It was daylight where it was going to hit. And it was going to strike land.
Heller shifted the tug closer and to the left.
The ice mass struck the upper atmosphere. Racing, it began to change its form. At thirty miles a second it had not long to go.
It missed Finland.
It seemed to be spreading out, its mass tumbled by the resistance of air.
Ahead of it I could see now what appeared to be a large inland lake, blue in the brown of Russia. Some of it would hit that lake.
In slow, slow motion as it appeared from on high, it was racing down the last few miles.
IT STRUCK!
It seemed to generate an enormous flash like electricity!
An instant later, the mass seemed to have quadrupled in size! A piece of it had hit the lake!
Like a scythe it was sweeping onward!
Travelling at a low angle, it was levelling everything in its path.
MOSCOW!
One second there was a city.
The next, there was only jumble!
The scythe swept on!
Waves of cloud were racing ahead, southward. They were growing less and less as they progressed toward the Black Sea.
Dust and debris were settling below.
And then I saw what it had done.
The recoil had flattened Leningrad.
Everything that was European Russia had been levelled!
That whole nation was no more!
I moaned.
Even worse, there went all of Rockecenter's uranium profits, with the removal of the threat of atomic war! Oh, Gods, was I in trouble now!
PART SIXTY-FOUR
Chapter 1
If I went home now, the second Lombar heard about this he would have me exterminated.
There was no doubt of that in my mind now. If ever I needed to be brilliant and think fast, it was NOW, NOW, NOW!
Heller was sitting there in the pilot seat. He seemed to be praying.
We were holding at about three hundred miles above Russia. From this point I could see Turkey on the horizon to the south.
Suddenly, at long last, I had an idea!
"Oh, God of peoples," said Heller, "forgive me."
I took immediate advantage of his mood, although I certainly couldn't understand why anybody would be sorry about wiping out a hundred million riffraff. "The tug is disabled," I said. "You cannot go directly home."
"It's just the towing equipment," he said. "I could probably make it."
"No, no," I said. "You shouldn't put yourself at risk."
"Are you recommending all of a sudden that I go to the Earth base?"
I tried to keep the gleam out of my eyes. I had the whole plan now. It was audacious beyond belief.
"I have certain information," I said. "It is very vital to you. If I divulge it, will you give me your word as a Royal officer to take me home and turn me over there for trial?"
"If it's worth anything," he said.
"Oh, it is!" I said. "You saw that that assassin pilot wanted to kill you, even though he knew who you were."
"That's true," he said.
"You'll be interested to know that at the Earth base they think you are a spy who was sent down to kill them. They will try to execute you on sight."
"I could figure that out for myself," he said.
"But you don't know this," I replied. "There is a secret way to get in."
He looked at me, puzzled. But I knew I had him. If I could just get him to the outer gate of the villa and ring that bell, he would be shot down. And even if that missed, I could get him to my secret room and sound the alarm there, and when we went down that tunnel the assembled base personnel would riddle him!
"And why should I want to sneak in?" said Heller.
And here came the very cream of my idea! "Give me a piece of paper and a pen."
He did. I wrote on it and folded it.
"The information on this is so vital to you it will change your whole life. Promise me that if I give you this sheet and you act on it, you will return me to Voltar."
He thought a moment. "For trial," he said. "I will promise that."
"Good enough," I said. And I handed him the paper.
He opened it. He went white as a sheet!
I had had the idea that would end all ideas. I had written
THE COUNTESS KRAK IS ALIVE IN A CELL AT THE EARTH BASE
What an inspiration—especially since she was dead! What genius to use a corpse to lure someone in!
And if we got that far, I had that planned, too. Somewhere between here and there, I would secrete a weapon. He would see her body and in that moment when his attention was off me, I would kill him, for he would be in shock. I was so bemused by my cleverness I did not hear what he said. He had to repeat it. "You are lying!"
"No," I said. "I am telling you the truth. Some information came to us that her plane would be sabotaged by some terrorists, and we picked her up at Rome airport and flew her to the base. She is alive and well, though of course in detention."
He did not say anything for a while. He was obviously in shock. Oh, how well this was working out!
"You'd better have some proof of this," he said.
I had that all worked out, too. I had my wallet. I opened it. I handed him a piece of paper. It was the Squeeza credit card—her card with the Empire State address written on the back of it.
He looked at it. He recognized it. His hands were shaking.
He could hardly talk. Then he said, "All right. We will go."
I was nearly delirious with joy—hard put to keep it from showing on my face. I could get him now. Of that I was sure. And then I could somehow wipe out his power company, Chryster, Okeechokee and blow up the Empire State and Izzy before those options could function. There would be repercussions with Rockecenter, but I could say proudly, "All is well, for I killed the man and your empire is intact." I would be restored to favor. I could release Black Jowl. And I still would become the next Chief of the Apparatus.
And all in all, I was absolutely amazed at my own genius. Whoever before had used a dead woman as a lure? Only a brilliant Apparatus officer would ever think of that!
Chapter 2
I think that Heller was dazed a bit, not only by my pretended news concerning the Countess Krak but also because of the destruction the assassin pilot had angled the tug into.
We had to wait for sunset. He would not let me turn the TV on. I was very sure it was full of juicy bulletins concerning the demise of Russia. Rockecenter's PRs would be rushing the media to blare how he insisted upon vast relief expeditions. But nobody need bother. There was little if anything left alive in European Russia. Probably Sweden would just move in to pick up any loot left lying around and annex the place. The so-called satellite countries would throw off the yoke and probably right this minute were murdering the Russian troops who had kept them in line and fattened off them. World power had certainly shifted. Rockecenter must be going crazy trying to figure out how to keep international tensions up now. I said as much.
"They can't blame any other nation," Heller said. "Every astronomer in the northern hemisphere plainly saw what they thought was a natural cataclysm. The planet won't destroy itself with atomic war now and that's the only benefit from this. So shut up. I don't want to hear about it."
He was doing some calculations but his mind was not on it and his eyes kept straying to the sun indicator as we hovered there, five hundred miles above Turkey.
The tug spoke up about midafternoon. "My thirty-third sub-brain has calculated that the inner core of the planet will now spin slightly more true to the axis. It will take many years longer to achieve because the blow was so glancing. I have the figures. Do you want them?"
"No," said Heller, his eyes upon the clock.
About six, with shadows growing long below, Heller went aft. He returned later to the flight deck. He was dressed in black. He had a kit bag over his shoulder.
He unchained me and took me to an engineer's quarters. He let me pick out some of the Antimanco engineer's clothes which were still hanging there.
While I was still changing, he went to the crew's galley to get me something to eat.
It was then I found something.
I could not believe my luck!
The jacket I was putting on had a hidden knife! It was about five inches long and very sharp. It lay flat against the left rib cage!
When Heller brought me back a plate and canister, I carefully schooled myself to continue to look bland.
"There's a field nobody uses," I said, "about three miles from the base. It is in a fold of the mountain and innocent of rocks. It belongs to the base but the soil is worn out and it is not leased to tenants. They are giving it a rest. If we land there after dark, we only need to walk over the shoulder of a hill and we will be on a road that goes right past the villa. And it, too, is not much used. I can get you in there but you have to take my advice and do what I say."
He was only half listening. He was looking up the passageway toward a clock. I knew what would be on his mind. Every part of him wanted to believe me but part of him was also saying that it might not be true. He looked rather white around the eyes. His hands were shaking slightly.
I was careful not to exhibit any satisfaction over his state. What a brilliant bomb I had thrown into him! My whole situation was reversed. He was not even being careful!
Darkness crept across the land below.
Heller, on the flight deck, carefully located the field and fed in coordinates.
Finally the Earth went black under us.
"Here we go," said Heller, and he reached for the controls.
I could scarcely breathe. In only a couple of hours I would be free to wipe out the hopes of Earth for cheap fuel. Rockecenter must be saved!
Very shortly now, Heller's corpse would join the lifeless body of the Countess Krak.
Chapter 3
We landed with a whisper in the dark.
Heller, at the airlock, put the cat back inside. "You stay here and guard the ship." The cat sat down and he shut the airlock in its face.
We went across an open field and began to climb the shoulder that separated us from the road.
"We must be very quiet," I said. "When you see me stop and listen, you must stop, too."
"You stay ahead of me," said Heller. "Walk fast."
I walked along. I was desperately thinking of how I could get behind him. All it would take was just one stab. He was mortal like any other man and he seemed too impetuous for caution. And I had other ways to get him, too!
We descended the slope of the shoulder and came to the road. There was no traffic. We went along the footpath beside the road. We passed the ill-fated copse where I had had so many women in the car. We came at length within reach of the villa gate.
Everything was quiet inside. There was the glow of a single light burning in the garden and some yellow splashes from the windows of the staff hut. I held up my hand to stop him. "There's a secret lock to open the bars," I said. I reached up on the pillar and pressed the staff alarm.
Urgent lights would be flashing in their quarters now.
I silently opened the gate.
Heller pushed me ahead of him. He had no idea at all he was walking into a trap. I saw something moving in the bushes beside the walk.
Musef and Torgut!
Ah, bless them! They would be ready, as they had been for Black Jowl.
Heller stopped. I glanced back. He was looking around. But he was not looking toward that spot that had moved.
SUDDENLY TWO FLASHLIGHTS CAME ON!
One from the right! The other from the left!
They were drilling straight at Heller's face!
Below them were the muzzles of guns!
Suddenly a scream.
"The D.E.A. man!" cried Musef.
There was a clatter.
A lead pipe had fallen to the walk! The flashlights were weaving a wild pattern as they went away.
They got to the wall.
They went up and straight over the top, barbs and glass and all!
"Run for your life!" Torgut was bellowing in the field beside the villa.
The rush of frantic footsteps faded away.
I was stunned.
"What was that all about?" said Heller.
I thought fast. I was swallowing my disappointment. "We must have surprised some robbers at work," I said.
But I was very far from through. All I had to do was get to my secret room, step on a tile and sound the general alarm for the whole base. They thought he was there to kill them. I had long since made sure they believed that.
BOOK: Mission: Earth "Disaster"
13.46Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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