Miss Me When the Sun Goes Down (11 page)

“So that’s it then
.  You’re throwing your hat in the ring for Elder?”

“Me?  God, no!”  I nearly choked on my drink, glad I could stop breathing until the urge to cough passed.  Was that all he’d taken out of what I’d said?  I’d rather be flayed alive than find myself in the Elder’s shoes.  “I just want to make sure whoever the new Elder is understands that we need a leader who can bring us into the twenty-first century, that’s all.” 

Byrne leaned closer, his voice dropping.  “If you play your cards right, I might let you do a little persuading.”

E
ewh, was he trying to hit on me?
  “I hardly think I need your permission.”

“I meant, I might be the one who needs persuading before too long.”

“You?” I snorted. “You’re a pencil pusher.” 

“Not for too much longer, I think.”

He was nuts if he thought he had a shot at Elder.  “How old are you again?” I asked pointedly.

“Old enough to know how to play my cards right.  I’m telling you, Anja, if you want to change the system, the best way is to play by the rules until you’re in the right position and
then
make the changes.”  Pure avarice oozed through his pores, and I could tell what was coming next.  “Of course, if we were to team up together, I think we could make it straight to the top.”

“You and me, work together?”  The idea left a sour taste in my mouth that had nothing to do with having reached the raspberry in the bottom of my champagne flute. 

“Why not?  Your wealth and power coupled with my political knowhow – I think we’d be a shoe in.  You said it yourself, you don’t want to be the Elder, but wouldn’t it be better to be the power behind the throne?”

“Have you gone balmy in the brainpan?” I replied, my voice pitched low.  I didn’t want to cause another scene.   “I barely know you, and to be frank, what I do know doesn’t instill a lot of confidence in you.” 

“I have some growth opportunities, I know.  But with you as my mentor…”

Oh wow, was he barking up the wrong tree.
  “Whoa, back this crazy train up a bit.  Let’s get one thing clear – I’m not putting you or anyone else on the throne, so you can get that out of your head right now.” 

“Hey, I’m just
putting it out there.  Like you said, this is your territory now, and I want to make sure you know I’m in this game to play.” 

“I guess that’s the difference between us, Mr. Byrne.  I’m not playing any games.”

His lips twitched, as if he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to smile at a joke I’d made or if I was serious.  It wasn’t a game to me at all (apart from the whole me pretending to be someone I wasn’t 24/7), and I stared him down until he looked away first. 

“It was nice to meet you, Miss Gudrun.”  He rose from the table, realizing he wasn’t going to win me over.  “I hope the next time we meet will be equally pleasant,” he added, the tightness around his eyes indicating that he’d found it anything but.

Cool beans.  I always did like to make new friends.

To tell the truth, I was glad to get out of there at the end of the night.  Maybe the club would be more comfortable when it wasn’t such a gala event (and when I didn’t have so many hangers-on), but I felt almost claustrophobic with the bodies pressed on all sides, jockeying for position around me. 

The girls had a great time though, and it was good to see Maggie chattering along happily with Ellie for a change.  I was glad to have Gunnar playing chauffeur as the night left me feeling bone tired.  Too bad Ellie had other ideas, reminding me sharply that she hadn’t eaten yet.  It was tempting to foist it off on one of the guys again, but Ellie was my responsibility, and I wanted to make sure she made good progress in controlling the hunger. 

We went to an all night Laundromat, one of the few places open in our neighborhood that didn’t sell some form of porn.  Isak watched from a nearby vantage point while Gunnar ran Maggie home.  I knew she was hungry, but Ellie seemed almost feverish, her eyes bright and shiny as she made a beeline for the first guy she saw, grabbing hold of him clumsily with her will, without preamble.     

The guy followed without a sound, and she forced open the employees only door at the back, shoving him in and shutting the door behind them.  “I’ll be right out here, okay Ellie?” I knocked on the door softly, leaving her the veneer of privacy, even though I could hear them inside as clear as day.  The only sound that came back to me was of heavy breathing, and the low guttural moan as she bit into his flesh.

Looking up, I spotted a bag lady sitting next to a shopping cart crammed to the brim with odds and ends, garbage bags hanging from every rung.  I did my best to smile past my embarrassment, and she gave me a gap-toothed one in return.  God only knew what she thought they were doing in there. 

The sharp tang of spilled blood sifted through the cracks in the doorframe, making my mouth water despite the dingy surroundings.  In my head, the count started, even though I wasn’t the one doing the drinking.  It had become almost a habit for me, counting my way through the bloodlust – except for when I’d fed with Jakob.  I hadn’t once thought about
counting, it had all been a hazy blur of hunger and sexual desire wrapped up into a potent cocktail of lust and blood.  It was lucky I hadn’t found myself in an even more compromising position when my head had finally cleared. 

The count hit the critical zone, and I realized I’d been holding onto the wall so tightly, there were chunks of drywall under my fingernails.  I stopped breathing, finding it easier to think when I didn’t have the delectable scent of blood filling my senses.  “Ellie, I think it’s about time to go now.”  I knocked softly on the door, but Ellie showed no signs of stopping.  In fact, she gave no sign she’d heard me at all.  “Ellie?” I knocked again. 

Another muffled groan sounded through the door, and I decided I’d given her all the privacy she was entitled to for now.  Forcing the door open, I slipped inside the supply room, using my body to shield the bag lady from getting an eyeful.  Ellie’s jaw still clamped around the guy’s neck, ignoring all else.  He didn’t object, but I suspected he had little strength left in him from the way his head lolled to the side. 

“Ellie, it’s time to stop
.” I shook her shoulder, and she made a growling sound deep in her throat.  “Ellie, I said that’s enough.” I shook harder, having to pull her off of him when she wouldn’t respond.  For a long moment she struggled at me, eyes dark and unfocused, before she seemed to realize who I was and where we were, the fight going out of her. 

She swiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, smearing the already smudged lipstick across her face.  I wanted to ask her if there was something wrong, but the guy distracted me by slumping to the ground.  “You’d better heal his neck, quick.  He’s still bleeding.”  Her teeth had bitten deep, the wound angry and torn. 

“Right-o,” she nodded, hunkering down beside him.  I could see the glazed cast in her eyes a scant second before she launched at him again, and I easily deflected her aside before she did more damage. 

“On second thought, why don’t you go sit over there in the corner while I take care of it,” I scowled, using my own blood to heal him up.  Luckily, once the angry looking wound had been repaired, he didn’t seem to be that bad off.  His head still hung limply, but his heart beat steady and strong. 

Now that the bleeding had stopped, Ellie’s head seemed to clear, and I got her to compel him to forget about it all without her lunging for his throat again.  Once we’d sent him back to slouching on one of the hard plastic seats in the Laundromat, we stepped out into the cool night air, Ellie’s jaw cracking as she yawned wide with the coming dawn.

“I made a bags of that, didn’t I?” she sighed
. 

“You’re still learning, don’t beat yourself up about it.  Control will come with time, I promise.”  She still looked a little wild, disheveled and smeary, and I led her back to the car where the guys waited.  “Oh, I almost forgot, did you ask him if he belonged to someone else?”

“There wasn’t time.”

“Of course there was.  You weren’t about to starve to death in the thirty seconds it would have taken to make sure you weren’t stepping on someone else’s toes.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re older than dirt.”  She gave a very unlady-like snort.  “Some of us are barely counting the minutes until we can feed again.”

“I’m not older than dirt…”  My face scrunched up in protest.  Was that how she saw me? 

“Don’t get the wind up your drawers, I only meant you’re lucky you don’t have the same cravings any longer.  That’s the only thing that keeps me going sometimes, you know?” A forlorn note crept into her voice and I wondered if it was really as bad as she said or if she was only being overly dramatic.  “How long did it take before you didn’t feel like turning everyone into a human Pez dispenser?”

I had no idea.  I wished I had someone to ask, but no one in my immediate circle knew I wasn’t an old hat at this.  I could always call and ask Mason, but the less involvement he had with Ellie, the better.  We had the forged documents Rob had gotten for her, but if I asked him for help on the care and feeding of a newbie vamp, that might prompt too many questions on where her Sire was, and how I’d come to be looking out for her.  No, it was better to stumble along in the dark, at least until I got myself into a jam. 

In the meantime, I decided to dodge the question.  “It’ll get better soon, you’ll see,” I promised, wrapping an arm around her shoulder in a one armed hug before pulling the car door open for her.  “Before you know it you’ll be able to help someone else like you all that much more since you’ll know what it feels like.  Much better than those of us who are older than dirt,” I smirked. 

Ellie was already zonked out by the time we got back to the apartment and Isak brought her upstairs for me, even though I could have carried her without breaking a sweat.  After a quick visual check of the apartment, I convinced the guys I
’d be perfectly safe in my own home and I sent them on their way.  I was surprised to find Maggie still up and around when I finished changing into my pj’s, a mug of something hot and fragrant in her hands. 

“I thought you’d be in bed by now,” I yawned, pulling my fuzzy faerie blanket out of the closet to snuggle with on the couch. 

Maggie perched on the end of the coffee table, her spine straight as ever, despite the late hour.  “I wanted to speak with you about my employment, if you’ve a few minutes.”

“Did you get a job?”

“No… I meant, being employed as your feeder.”

“Oh.”  Was she worried I’d pounce on her once I got the munchies?  I thought we’d moved past all that.  “
You don’t have to do that anymore, I thought we talked about that.  There’s no rush for you to go out and find something to do, you can take your time.  Didn’t you say you had enough money to live comfortably for a while?”

“I do, but it won’t last forever, and I want to feel as though I’m contributing to the household.”

“Hey, if you want to contribute, you could pick up a sponge and give the bathroom a whirl anytime you like.  You don’t have to give me your blood, Maggie.”   

“Yes, but… I feel as if it’s the least I can do after you’ve been so kind to me.”

I sat up, our knees nearly touching as I leaned forward.  “Maggie, you don’t have to feel guilted into doing anything you don’t want to.  I can find my own meals, I’m a big girl.”

“Yes, of course you are.  I merely thought, that is… if you and I had a formal relationship with me as your feeder, then I would be able to comfortably rebuff any other requests to… you know.”

“Did you get propositioned last night at the club?”

“No, everyone there assumed I belonged to you.” 

“Well, who then?”  All of a sudden I realized where this was coming from.  “Has Ellie still been trying to drink from you?”

“She
’s brought it up more than once.  At first I thought she was joking, but sometimes I’m not so sure.  So far there’s been nothing more to it than that.”

I let out a long breath.  “At least she hasn’t tried compelling you to agree though, right?”

“No,” she said quietly, staring down at the mug of tea her hands were wrapped around. 

“I’ll have a talk with her
and make sure she understands that’s not going to happen.”  I’d compel her myself if I had to. 

“I didn’t want to make a fuss…”

“No, I’m glad you told me, Maggie.  You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable in your own home.  You do still want to live here with us, don’t you?  Or is it getting too weird?”

“No, I like it here,” she answered quickly.  “I wouldn’t mind so much if it was you to have a drink every now and again.  The last time was lovely,” she added shyly.     

“I’ll keep that in mind, but I think it’s better if maybe we keep our friendship just that – a friendship, not a business arrangement.”  I had way too many murky relationships going already without adding that level to it. 

“Alright, I’ll say goodnight then
.” She rose with supple grace, carrying the tea with her to her room. 

Turning off the lights and battening down all the hatches for the day, I settled onto the couch with my cozy blanket and waited for sleep to come, but I couldn’t relax enough.  There were far too many things spinning around in the back of my mind, jockeying for position at the forefront. 

I couldn’t help but worry about whether or not I’d end up regretting all those bold words in the club.  Over and over I relived the way it all went down, each time cringing a little more on the inside when I revisited just how daring I’d been in a public forum.  I had to be nuts to think there’d be no repercussions from the night.

And what about Ellie?  Had she really been scheming to drink from Maggie this whole time and I hadn’t noticed?  Shouldn’t she be learning some restraint by now?  She would
’ve drained that guy dry if I hadn’t stopped her in time.  What about Hanna?  Had she worked things out with Mason, or was she still freaking out? 

How was Rob doing for that matter?  I’d gotten so used to him hanging out with me, it felt strange not to feel his reserved presence all my waking hours.  He’d said he might be out of contact for a while.  Should I send him a “what’s up” text, or would that be weird? 

Speaking of late night booty calls, I wondered how Bridget fared in LaLa land.  Had Felix given her the royal treatment, or had she been left to entertain herself while he tried to put out fires in the wake of Tommy’s death?  I considered giving her a call, but whether she kept company with vampires or not, I was willing to bet she’d be passed out at that hour. 

Then there was Jakob…
Why did I feel like we weren’t always on the same page?  Sure, I felt attracted to him (boy howdy, did I!), but it felt like I never knew what crazy thing he’d do next, and I hated that feeling of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, or having to scramble to clean up his messes.  Maybe I’d come to feel more comfortable around him in time.  After all, we hadn’t spent all that much time together really.  And maybe, when the pain of losing Bishop wasn’t so raw…

Bishop.

My gaze slid over to the clock on the DVD player, and I swiftly calculated what time it would be in England.  He might be rising right about now.  Maybe he was lying in bed thinking about me, the same as I was doing.  Maybe I should give him a call?  The temptation nearly had me reaching for my phone before I decided maybe I should get some rest before what was left of my brains started leaking out of my ears.

Despite the biological pull to shut down once the sun rose higher in the sky, my brain wouldn’t shut off for the day.  The apartment was quiet, too quiet, and all around me I could hear people in the other units getting ready for the day.  All at once I wanted to be a part of that human world again. 

Bundling up like I used to when I went to school, I ventured out in the early morning light, grateful for the haze of cloud cover that shielded me from the worst of the sun.  It burned slightly on my exposed skin, but it felt good in a way, as crazy as that sounds.  It made me feel alive.  Thanks to my sunglasses, my eyes didn’t even water much as I trudged my way down the street. 

I didn’t feel human again though.  There was no urgency in my step, and what people I passed on the street kept their heads down, huddled against the cold as they hurried to work or school or whatever.