Read Miss Impractical Pants Online
Authors: Katie Thayne
“Thank you, but I’m afraid I’ll have to decline. I have put the day aside to show Katie around the countryside. I was thinking about taking her around to Framlingham Castle.”
“That sounds lovely,” Lady Waverly gushed. “You should take her to the coast near Aldeburgh and Thorpeness.”
“I was reading in the paper there are quite a number of markets being held in the area this weekend. Maybe Katie would fancy seeing some local crafts,” suggested Lord Waverly.
“What a brilliant idea! It’s been ages since I’ve been to a market!” Lady Waverly exclaimed.
“Well, Katie, what would you like to do? It looks like you’re spoiled for choice.” Lucas turned to her expectantly.
Katie considered her options,
then
exploded, “I want to do it all!”
She paused abruptly, seeing in Lucas’s eyes that “doing it all” wouldn’t be an option. “I know, let’s pick a direction and choose the roads as we go! It’ll be a completely spontaneous adventure!”
“How exciting!”
Lady Waverly commented.
“Lady Waverly—” Katie began.
“Chelsea,” she reminded.
“Chelsea, why don’t you come and hang out with us?”
Lady Waverly’s eyes bulged and her hand flew to her chest. “Oh, Katie, if I could bottle a little of your spirit. I don’t think I know how to ‘hang out’ anymore.”
Katie saw the surprise on Lady Waverly’s face,
then
noticed the others also seemed shocked by the invitation. She bit her bottom lip and worried she’d crossed a line of propriety. Still, the damage was already done, and she could see the contemplation behind the woman’s eyes.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Katie urged.
“Thank you. It would be wonderful, but we’re having guests and it’s always such an ordeal to go out.” Lady Waverly’s protest was unconvincing.
“Yes! Why not go?” Lord Waverly belted, catching the wave of Katie’s enthusiasm. “We’ll be in meetings all day…you won’t be expected until dinner. Why not go and have some fun?”
“Do you really think so?” she asked her husband hesitantly. “What about the photographers? Katie, you don’t want to go with me—we’ll have photographers chasing us the whole time. You won’t have any fun at all.”
“What if we dress you up—or down—to look like an average person? We’ll be in Lucas’s car; the press may never know you’ve left the property. If it doesn’t work, we’ll make a game of trying to lose them.”
“It does sound like an amusing challenge,” Lady Waverly agreed. “Would you mind, Lucas, if I joined your party?”
Lucas quickly recovered from his shock.
“Not at all.
I think it’s a brilliant idea.”
With an excitement she hadn’t displayed in years and with Katie in tow, Lady Waverly darted off to find something to make her look “average.”
Lord Waverly heaved a happy sigh and together he and Lucas set off at a leisurely pace through the gardens.
“I’m absolutely delighted Lady Waverly has taken a shine to Katie. It’s been ages since my wife has taken on a new friend. I don’t think I’ve seen her so lighthearted in years.”
“Katie is hard not to like,” Lucas agreed.
“I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see my wife smile. I’m afraid life in the spotlight takes its toll on her,” Lord Waverly confided.
***
Lucas had his Volkswagen Touareg waiting by the side entrance where the ladies could get in without being noticed. Lady Waverly looked uncomfortable wearing a pair of crisp jeans that were
found folded in the depths of her wardrobe and a snug baby doll tee borrowed from one of the maids. She insisted on lying down in the back seat as they rolled out of the drive. Katie felt a rush of exhilaration as she pushed on her large round sunglasses and gave a pert wave to the reporters waiting outside the gate hoping to catch a glimpse of the attendees of the summit meeting.
“It looks like we haven’t attracted any interest,” Lucas announced, making one last check in his mirrors.
Lady Waverly shot up and cheered, suddenly losing her inhibitions. Katie smiled to herself, thinking the Lady had missed her calling as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.
At their first stop, Katie bought enough car snacks and beverages to last a week, a navy blue ball cap that had “England” embroidered in cursive across the front, and an enormous pair of diva-type sunglasses. Handing the disguise to Lady Waverly, she ripped into a package of licorice and joked, “There, now you’ll just be mistaken for Britney Spears.”
They had been traveling in comfortable silence, watching the scenery roll by, when Lady Waverly shrieked, “Turn it up!”
Katie nearly shot through the roof at the unexpected squeal, and Lucas almost jerked the car off the road.
Lady Waverly was undaunted. “Hurry, turn up the radio! It’s Blondie!”
Katie did as she was told and watched in wide-eyed amusement as the refined Lady Waverly made a microphone of her half-chewed licorice rope and used the whole backseat as a dance studio, crooning shamelessly to “The Tide Is High.”
Katie cranked up the volume even more and grabbed a bottled-water microphone, eager to join in. Soon, all three were slaying the contagious melody at the top of their lungs.
“Yes Mum, I’m sorry, but you left me no other choice.”
Katie nestled into the leather seat and giggled as Lucas argued with his mother. She and Lucas were almost back to London and Lottie had been berating him for nearly half an hour.
“That’s right, Mother, you’re off the job. You’re no longer Katie’s boss—I am. That gives me the right to take her wherever I please.” His grin stretched from one lobe to the other. He rumbled a deep, throaty laugh. “You can’t ground me from my own employee.”
Katie couldn’t make out the words, but she could hear Lottie trilling her response. From the look on Lucas’s face, it must have been a good one.
“Okay Mum,” he sighed. “Listen, I don’t care which bits of mine you’re threatening to cut off, I’m taking Katie out for a celebratory dinner… Bye Mum—
love
you.”
She was still nagging when he shut the phone down.
***
“Of all the restaurants in London, you choose
this
place?” Despite his words, Lucas couldn’t have seemed happier when they tucked into their table at an obscure but cozy little pub.
“If you don’t like it, it’s your own fault. I told you I hate having to choose restaurants.”
“On the contrary, I like your choice. I’m just surprised. I was expecting you to pick something more…I don’t know…posh.” Lucas’s eyes searched Katie with curiosity.
Throwing her hands up, she shrugged. “Considering I haven’t showered and have had less than ten hours of sleep since leaving the
States, which was technically three days ago, this is preferable to ‘posh.’”
“Point well taken.”
Lucas shook his head theatrically. “I can’t help feeling somewhat responsible. Can I make it up to you by buying you a drink?”
“You are totally responsible, and I’ll just start with a Coke, please.”
He leered at her, the corners of his mouth fighting a grin. “Surely you want something a bit stronger than a Coke—after what I’ve put you through the last two days?”
“The only thing strong enough to counteract what you’ve put me through is a bludgeon to the head. I’ll just have the Coke.”
He arched an inquisitively sexy eyebrow at her.
A giggle rippled through her words.
“Just a Coke, really.
I don’t drink.”
“You don’t drink?” He searched her face for any signs of a joke. “I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t drink at least a little.”
“Now you have,” she said smugly.
“Never?”
“Not since Anna’s seventeenth birthday party when Christopher had to call his parents to pick us up because I had broken out in hives and was throwing up and he was too drunk to drive. Holy crap, did we ever get in trouble that night! Even the tiniest bit makes me super sick. I learned that the hard way when I had a glass of champagne at my brother’s wedding.”
“Right then, two Cokes it is!” He gave a definitive nod.
“Don’t pass up a beer on my account—I don’t mind.”
“I’m not. I don’t touch the stuff either.”
She glared at him suspiciously. “I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true. My granddad was a massive alcoholic. It’s not a condition I’m keen to inherit.”
The last thing Katie wanted was to cloud their day with drunken granddad stories. Lucas obviously thought the same and quickly changed the subject.
“Right!
Now that we’ve found something in common, can we be friends?”
She swung her ponytail over her shoulder and declared, “Maybe. We’ll have to see how dinner goes.”
As they ate, Katie tried not to notice Lucas kept staring at her, until she couldn’t endure it another moment longer. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
He had the decency to look embarrassed.
“Nothing.
It’s just you look the quintessential American stereotype—with your Coke, hamburger and fries, ponytail, and blue jeans. You remind me of a Skipper doll, and it’s triggering all the boyhood fantasies I’d gleaned from watching American sitcoms.
If she wouldn’t have been so flabbergasted, she might have given him a response, though she wouldn’t have known what to say.
“What would you like to do now?” he asked, focusing on tidying up the discarded plates as if he hadn’t just thrown her with his random and confusing comment.
Of course he didn’t mean anything by it. He’s your boss—super hot, sexy, out of your league, engaged boss.
She looked at the plates with disdain and put an arm over her stomach. “I think I need to walk off about eight thousand calories.”
“All right,
Cousin
Kate.” He put much more emphasis on the word cousin than was necessary. “We can walk to Oxford and back if you’d like.”
“Sure. Is that very far from here?”
His whole body shook from unrestrained laughter. “You’re very agreeable. It’s only fifty-odd miles. Perhaps we’ll save that for another day. How about we head toward Hyde Park?”
“That sounds perfect.”
***
Katie would have preferred the fifty-mile walk to the sound of Olivia’s voice.
“Lucas, darling, there you are!” The pitch was just a note below hysteria.
Katie froze in her tracks. The piercing sound was worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. “Well, it
was
a nice walk,” she muttered under her breath as an opal-colored Jaguar slowly rolled past them.
“Andrew, pull over!” Olivia demanded of the driver.
The vehicle nosed its way into a nonexistent parking space, the rest of the body jutting diagonally into traffic. The passenger door flung open and Olivia’s stick figure flew out and pranced over to them as quickly as her Prada heels would allow.