Miscegenist Sabishii (12 page)

“Okay, Mom and Dad, you can go back to the office and I will work up the measurements.”  I kissed her neck as we sat in the small plastic chairs.  Is it normal for me to feel horny right now?  I had this feeling of, ‘I am man!  I have created life!’  Now I wanted to plunge into her and spread more life giving fluid!

Only a few moments later the technician returned to the office and proudly handed us the first pictures of Baby Yakamoto. 

“The baby has your big head, T.”  She said.

“Wow…”  I couldn’t unglue my eyes from the sight of the teeny slope of the nose and the impression of eyes and little arms and legs.  Damn…my kid…

“So you are sixteen weeks.  That gives you a due date of November-”

“How many weeks?”  Nikki interrupted, frowning.

“Sixteen.”  The technician repeated.  After that it was hard for me to hear anything else.  Nikki and I have only been together for about thirteen or fourteen weeks.  This wasn’t my baby.  This was Dean’s baby.

Nikki

I felt sick.  Not the type that makes you feel like you need to run to the bathroom and vomit, but the type of sick like you need to have someone pull the plug on life support because it can go nowhere but downhill. 

“How accurate are those weeks?”

“Good question Mom.  They are fairly accurate, give or take a week or two.”  Give or take a week or two!  The difference between a week or two was the difference between my life crashing down around me or soaring forward!  Tony and I have only been together three and a half months.  That’s not sixteen weeks!

I looked at the man that I loved with all of my heart and soul.  He was absolutely motionless.  His face was like a stone statue.  His eyes were like two black chips of coal. 

We left the office and I made an appointment for later that week to visit a prenatal doctor and then we went back to the car.  Tony still hadn’t said a word.  I didn’t know what I wanted him to say…I mean, I do know what I wanted him to say, but he just drove us back to my apartment.  On the way, I finally had to break the unbearable silence.

“Tony…”  He glanced at me.  “She said it could be off by one or two weeks.”

“But she didn’t say off by two or three.”  And there it was.  He had already accepted that this baby wasn’t his.  I felt like shit.  When we got to the apartment I got out the car but Tony didn’t.  I turned and looked at him.

“I need to clear my head, Nikki.  I’m going to go back to my place.”  I nodded.  “Send Wu-Tang out, please.”  Again I nodded.  Wu-Tang got to be with him, but I didn’t.  Right now I needed to be with him.  But I know that he needed to be away from me.

Once Wu-Tang and Tony were gone I sank down on the couch and cried.

TONY

I dug the leash out of the glove compartment and then Wu-Tang and I went to the dog park.  I put on my sunglasses and took off my suit jacket leaving it in the car.  I wish I had stopped home to change into jeans or something but I wanted to walk the trails and think.  My head felt crowded and I couldn’t put my thoughts in order.

One minute my brain had been filled with images of me, Nikki, and our child.  The next was Nikki fucking Dean.  God help me, but the vision disgusted me.  I couldn’t stop seeing the three of us on the Murray Polvich show doing the big DNA reveal and Maury opening the manila folder and announcing; Toi Yakamoto--you are NOT the father…

I sat down on a bench and Wu-Tang cocked her head at me as if to say, ‘Iz gonna be ai’ight,

Boss.’

“I might be, you know.  There’s a chance…right?”

Wu-Tang gave me a baleful look.  I sighed. This day is going from bad to worse; first Richard chews my ass and gives me my first reprimand as a Department Manager, and now this.  Worse is that I didn’t even want to face Nikki and I was going to be forced to give her an official reprimand as well. 

I already knew that there was no way that she was going to take this lying down.  She was going to be all in my face over this.  Thing is, there was one side of me that resented the fact that she wouldn’t just do the job, while there was the other side that was proud of her for having principals that she stood up for.  Still, it was easy to have standards when your boyfriend was your buffer.  But I had to make the same decision that I’m going to have to challenge Nikki to make; whether to let her standards pay her bills or her job.

My phone rang and I pulled my thoughts back to the present with an unpleasant jolt.  I didn’t want to talk to Nikki but I wasn’t much more relieved to see that it wasn’t Nikki calling but my Mom.  Argh.  I couldn’t do this now.  I
returned the phone to my pocket unanswered.  Sighing I came to my feet.  “Come on.  Let’s go home, Wu.”

Nikki

I never thought that I’d be that woman; the one that didn’t know who the father of her unborn baby is.  I didn’t sleep a wink last night.  Tony didn’t come back to the apartment or call.  The phone did ring several times but it was Mrs. Y.  Every time I heard it, I’d start bawling all over again.  I’m not the crying type and I know that being pregnant floods you with lots of hormones—so it’s not just that my heart is breaking.

I considered calling in sick but I was anxious to see Tony.  He’d have to say something to me.  He might disappear for a time after work hours, but not during work.

It was almost noon before I heard from him.  My office phone rang and the red light indicator showed that the call was coming from his office.  I picked up anxiously, not even aware of how tense I’d been all morning.

“Hello?”

“Nikki.  Hey.”

“Hey.”

“How are you?”  He asked quietly.

“I…I’m ok.”  I lied.

“Look, can you come to the office?  I need to talk to you.”

“Oh.  Ok, sure.”  I was rather surprised that he’d want to have this talk at work.  I hung up quickly and straightened my jacket.  I had to keep it buttoned to hide the bulge of my tummy.  Now that I knew that I was pregnant my extended tummy looked like a pregnant belly and not just a woman that had one too many burritos at lunch.  On the up side, at least I wouldn’t have to go on that crash diet that I had been planning.   

I rapped on his door once and entered.  

“Hey.”

“Come on in.  Close the door.”  He stood up and I noted the strained look on his face.  He hadn’t slept well himself, I guess. 

I suddenly wrung my hands. “Tony, look.  I’m so sorry.  But I didn’t intend for this to happen.  You have to know that this is throwing me for a loop just as much as it is you-”

He held up his hand to stop me.  “Nikki, I didn’t ask you to come for that.  I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

“Something else?”  I frowned.  What else was there?

“Please, sit down.”  He gestured to the leather chair in front of his desk that he’d purchased from Ikea.  It showed just how much he appreciated nice things that he would spend his own money to furnish the office in a way that was comfortable for him.  Despite his connection with all things African-American, his office reflected his Asian heritage.  He had two very large and very expensive bonsai trees.  He had a large silk screen wall covering of Koi fish and lilies in a pond.  He had a beautiful tea set that I knew he actually used, especially when he had a rough day.  He would drink tea from leaves that he actually hand mixed.  Tony was a man that had so much diversity that being with him was like being on a journey—one that you would be a fool to turn down.

I sat down.  “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“The Dura account.”

“What?”  Of all of the things that I could imagine coming from his mouth—that wasn’t one of them.

“Mrs. Dura filed a complaint for being denied the loan.  There’s a report made against the company with the Better Business Bureau because the loan officer had already told her that the deal would go through.” 

I was in complete shock.  My mouth was hanging open.  “Well the loan officer should have never done that!”  This wasn’t the first time that a client had to have the rug pulled out from under their feet because some idiot had jumped the gun! 

He shrugged.  “It’s not against company rule to tell a client that their loan should have no trouble.  It wasn’t the loan officer that had done anything wrong, it was us.”

“Us?!”

“Yes.  We did.  We make loans and we use homes as collateral.  That’s our job.”

“Oh, not this again-” 

He held up his hand once more.  “Wait, let me finish.  Please.” I nodded, with a sigh.   “Not to beat a dead horse.  I understand your position.  I’ve even shared it.  The point is, we have a directive.  And based on that, we should have passed the account to be approved.”

“But-”
 

“Nikki!”  He said sharply.  “I’m not done.  Please.  Let me finish.” My brow gathered at his tone but I kept quiet.  “I’m not going to argue with you.  You and I as a couple can debate, but me as your supervisor…there is no room for that.  This is the job you have.  If you don’t do it, then it will be reflected on your evaluation.”

My heart slammed against my ribcage.  “My…evaluation?”  I could not believe that he was sitting there so calmly threatening my job.  How did we get here?  Oh yeah…the fact that I might be having another man’s baby is how we got here.  Is that what this was about for him?

He put on glasses and opened a file that had my name on it.  “Consider this your official counseling session.  So after this, if you don’t follow protocol then it will be reflective on your critical job elements which would then lower your evaluation.”  He retrieved a form and passed it to me.  “Sign this stating that we have discussed your expectations.”

I couldn’t believe this; his attitude, his detachedness.  I was more confused and hurt than angry.  I slid the form to me and looked at it closely.  Then I picked up the ink pen and signed and dated it.  I passed the form back to him without saying another word.

He nodded.  “I don’t have anything else.”  I walked out the door without another look at him and he watched me wordlessly.  I went straight to the restroom and got very ill. 

TONY

That could not have gone worse.  All I had wanted to do is to avoid a long drawn out debate, but instead I came off looking like I was trying to punish her.  Okay, and the truth of the matter is…I had wanted to punish her.  I don’t know why, I mean, I’m sure she wanted to be in a position of not knowing whose baby she was carrying just as much as I did.  Damn, I needed to apologize.  I got up and hurried out of my office but Debbie stopped me before I had even gotten two steps. 

“Tony, Richard wants you to take this to Mrs.
Dura before five o’clock.”  She handed me an envelope and I opened it.  It was her check.  I grimaced.  So I was to give her a personal

apology.  Fine.  I hurried down the corridor to Nikki’s office and was stopped again by one of my employees.

“Tony, can you sign off on this?  I promised Mrs. Torrence that I would get her check in the mail today.”

I looked down the hall and then back to my employee. “Oh…sure.”  I said reluctantly, following her into her office.  She made small talk and I tried to not show how anxious I was to leave, but as soon as I had it signed off I hurried to Nikki’s office.  But she wasn’t there.  She had already left for lunch.  I thought about calling her and then I stopped.  I just stopped right in my tracks. 

No.  I wasn’t going to apologize.  Why should I?  She didn’t apologize for having unprotected sex with some guy she’d just met.  I stormed back into my office and slammed the door shut.

Much later, the office phone was ringing and I blinked.  I had just been sitting, staring off into space for the last fifteen minutes. Damn, I needed to get my head straight.  I picked up.