Mirrored 1 : In Spades (9 page)

“Hey beautiful.” He looked directly into my eyes and I felt myself swooning.

“Hi..” I said shyly back.

“I thinkkk he was talking to me mommy.” Abby’s little voice piped up from her side of the booth.

“You’re right Ab, I was talking to you. You know you’re my number one girl. But you both are very beautiful.“ I could see a little blush spread across Abby’s face and knew I couldn’t deny that we were related if it ever came down to it. Daxton even had her wrapped around his finger and usually it was the other way around for Abby. I was happy that she liked him and they got along. I couldn’t imagine myself getting caught up in anybody that didn’t like children or didn’t understand my situation. I didn’t want to let him go. It was a relief I wouldn’t have to. Not for a reason that I couldn’t control at least.

I took a spoonful of ice-cream and held it out for Daxton to take a bite. I missed his mouth a little bit and some dribbled down his chin. I took my napkin and wiped it off but I couldn’t help but laugh. Abby laughed, too. Daxton smiled wide and went up to the counter to get his own ice-cream. Not wanting to take the chance of me spilling more all over him I’m guessing. I was enjoying doing it though. The combination of two of my favorite things, Ice Cream and Daxton, heavenly. My taste buds were tingling at the thought. The young high school girl taking Daxton’s order was getting all flustered by him. He had that effect on people, without even really doing anything. He came back to the table with a root beer float and three spoons.

“We already have our own ice-cream.” I told him.

“Well, mines better, now both of you take a bite.”

Abby didn’t hesitate in the slightest, as she had already finished hers a couple of minutes before. She grabbed a heaping pile on her spoon and slid it into her tiny mouth, making a mess all over her face. She looked adorable. Daxton picked up a spoon and gave me some also. It was delicious. It had been so long since I had a root beer float. They were my mother’s favorite. The fizzy sensation popping in my mouth and the cold yet soothing vanilla ice-cream instantly brought a memory back to me. Never wanting to welcome the memories or bring them to the surface. I was forever pushing them deep down, hoping that it was all a bad dream. This was almost a welcomed memory. I could see my mom’s long blonde hair and deep hazel eyes looking down at me. I could feel the warmth in her smile and the smell of hazelnut which was only unique to her.

“I brought a treat home today Avabug.” my mom pulled a grocery bag out from behind her back and began to unload the contents on the counter.

“Let me see mommy! ” I wasn’t tall enough to see over the counter and couldn’t maneuver myself too well because my leg was broken in several places and placed in a bright pink cast, my favorite color.

It seemed like my mom always tried to make up for daddy doing wrong. Daddy wasn’t always bad. He did try to teach me how to ride a bike and when I couldn’t get the hang of it and fell down on the pavement scraping my knee and crying, he got mad. I knew I should have just sucked it up and been a big girl but I couldn’t help it. It hurt. He walked in the house without so much as helping me up and stormed into the house. Embarrassed of what the neighbors would think of a crying little girl that was ten years old and still didn’t know how to ride a bike. He was always ashamed of me. I didn’t blame him.

Later that night, right after dinner, mom asked me how the bike riding had gone. Dad immediately got red in the face and threw his plate to the ground. He stormed towards me and pushed me with all of his might onto the floor, knocking the wind out of me and causing my leg to snap in a direction that I never knew was possible. He stumbled away not even caring to check on me as I wailed out in pain. My mom picked me up and drove me to the emergency room, crying the entire drive. She told them that I had fallen down the stairs and even laughed a little with the doctor that came in to check me out. I was a clumsy child after all. They reset the fractures and placed my leg into a cast. I was able to go home by morning.

Mommy made sure to give me a lot of love and affection while we were away from daddy. When we returned home that morning she went back to her usual quiet self. Dad left the house around 6 pm to head to the bar with his friends. He had the same routine every night when my mom came home from work. I don’t even know why he bothered to wait until then. I fended for myself all day anyway. Mostly hiding in my room and reading or coloring. I loved when he was gone even though I knew that wasn’t very nice of me. Mom pulled root beer soda and vanilla ice cream out of the bag that she held behind her back. I wasn’t picky when it came to ice cream so I would take what I could get. I knew this was mommy’s favorite treat so I tried to act extra excited.

“Yummy mommy, pour me a big glass pleaseee.” I stuck my bottom lip out and gave her my best puppy dog expression.

Her eyes lit up and her dimples peaked on the surface of her sunken in skin. For a minute, she almost looked healthy. I could tell that it was in making me happy when she felt the most alive. Most of the time she reminded me of a walking zombie. Being alive but not really living, just going through the motions. The love that my dad and she had shared died long before and I didn’t think there was any chance of them getting it back. I know she only stuck around because she was afraid of him and afraid of leaving me behind. Knowing that she could never just run away with me, he would find her and the end result wouldn’t be pretty.

She poured us both a large glass and put both a spoon and a straw in each, just the way I liked it. She lifted me up into the stool that sat at the island counter top we had in our kitchen and perched herself in the stool beside me. We enjoyed our treat and each other’s company. It was completely silent with the exception of a random slurping noise or a gulp but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I remember that was one memory when my mom was truly happy. She smiled over at me and it was a beautiful sight.

“Is it any good babe?” Daxton asked me, snapping me out of my day dream.

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” I said to him and I truly meant it.

He looked at me curiously, but didn’t say another word about it. After we all finished our ice cream I pushed Daxton out of the booth and walked around it to lift Abby into my arms.

“Can Mr. James come over for dinner mommy?” she asked me and I couldn’t resist.

“I suppose he can come over for a little while.” I winked over at Daxton. He looked thrilled.

“I‘ll follow behind you, if that‘s ok?” He held up his hand to give Abby a high five, which she promptly returned.

I nodded in response. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek.  Abby just smiled and continued to play with a strand of my hair that she had locked between her tiny fingers. I loaded Abby into her car seat and got into the driver seat. Daxton mounted his light blue Harley Davidson which was parked next to us. I wasn’t a fan of motorcycles myself but he looked down right sexy on it. He placed his helmet on his head and flipped the visor down. It was surprisingly warm outside for late January. No snow on the ground and the sun shining brightly. I loved it when it felt like spring outside. Winter had never been one of my favorite times of year. With the exception of Christmas now because I knew how much Abby enjoyed it. Snow and poor driving conditions really freaked me out and I often car pooled with Mrs. Anderson when it was seemingly too bad for my nerves to handle. She never minded coming to pick Abby and I up. She only lived right down the road and we had grown fairly close since I moved here and started my job. She was almost like a surrogate mother to me. She knew about the relationship that Abby and I shared. I had spilled my guts to her on a more emotional day of mine and she completely understood. She looked out for me and Abby.

             
I pulled up outside of my home and shut the car off. I looked up just in time to see Daxton pull in and put his kickstand down. He stood up stretching his legs and raising his hands above his hand. He lifted his helmet off and placed it on his handlebar. He shook the hair out of his eyes and I was mesmerized by how sexy he was. His hair was getting a little bit curly at the ends, shaggier than normal. I liked it. I was itching to run my fingers through it. Daxton was the only man I knew that could look unkempt and borderline homeless and still make women want to lick him from head to toe.

He was already off his bike and walking towards me by the time I was done fantasizing. I grabbed my purse and opened the car down. He went around to the back seat and opened up the door to get Abby out of her booster chair. Unbuckled the latches and lifted her into his arms, holding out the helmet to me. I grabbed his helmet from his hands and threw my purse over my shoulder. I pulled out my keys and lead the way to our front door. I let us in and Daxton set Abby’s feet onto the ground. She rushed off to her bedroom to put her things away. She did that every single day after school. Unloading everything from her backpack and re organizing it for the following day of school. I flung my coat over a kitchen chair and set my purse and Daxton’s helmet on the counter.

“You want a drink?” I gazed over my shoulder as Daxton was he taking off his leather jacket.

He wore a simple black t-shirt and dark wash jeans. His tattoos more visible than normal on his arms. He usually wore button ups while working. He was a sight for sore eyes. I somehow ended up in front of him, running my fingers up the length of his arms and checking out each tattoo. I didn’t even remember the walk over. I was so distracted. He had a half sleeve on both arms housing old school Mario scenes and characters, Nintendo style. I loved it. Especially the princess, as she was my favorite. The detail was impeccable. He was lavishing in the attention. Not saying a word but letting me twist and touch his arms to my desire, mouth gaping open.

“You like what you see?” his deep voice resonated in my ears.

“They are amazing. I love the princess. She’s my favorite.” I told him and continued to examine the rest.

“She reminds me of you. Beautiful, unique and independent in her own rite. She just thinks she needs saving but realistically she kicks all of their asses.” He lifted my chin to look into my eyes.

“You have no idea how wrong you are. I do need saving.” I trailed off for a minute, unsure if I should finish my statement.

Afraid he would run for the hills. But something about him made me feel so comfortable, like I was able to spill my guts and he would still remain here. I had to let him know the truth about me. About how damaged I really was. He deserved better. He deserved someone whom he could possess their whole heart. I wasn’t able to give that away. It had been shattered long before. I continued to speak, looking away from his now intense eyes.

“You can’t fix something that is beyond broken. Forget about me and move on.” I turned my back to him.

Ready for him to walk out the door. I willed the tears to remain unshed. Placing my head in my hands. I felt his firm grip grasp my shoulders strongly. I could feel his deep, calm breaths steadily in my ear. He was so close and the silence was striking.

Finally he whispered, “You’re not broken baby. You are only missing a piece. Like a jigsaw puzzle that looks like nothing but a bunch of colors and lines and makes absolutely no sense until the final piece is placed. It isn’t until that moment that the entire puzzle comes together. The puzzle becomes what it is meant to be; complete. I’m your missing piece and you’re mine. Together we create that beautiful and complete picture. Forgetting you would be like forgetting to breathe, deadly.”

I was in awe. I couldn’t believe that he actually wanted this. All of me, broken. I didn’t deserve it. I knew that. Any fool could see the truth. But, I wasn’t going to continue to push him away. Not intentionally, anyway. I needed to be selfish for once. I needed to believe that I was good enough. I knew that this was too much, too fast, but I needed it to keep going. I never realized how afraid I was to be alone until I had met this crazy, heart on his sleeve, no bullshit man standing in front of me. He was offering me his heart on a silver platter and I couldn’t resist the temptation. I wasn’t sure that I could give him my entire self but I was willing to try. For my sake, for Abby’s. She loved him already and I could tell. I knew that pursuing something with Daxton wouldn’t be harmful to her and that’s why I wasn’t as resistant. I knew that Abby deserved the entire world and I would do anything in my power to make sure that she got it. I was starting to learn, however, that I deserved my own slice of heaven, too. I needed Daxton like one needed food, water, and the air we breathe. I would try my hardest to trust him, I needed him.

“Ava, I’m really trying not to let my mouth diarrhea get the best of me. I don’t want to scare you away and truthfully, your silence is beginning to scare me. I mean every word though.” Daxton wiped away at the tears that were steadily running down my face. I hadn’t even noticed how bad I was crying. I had nothing to say to him. I was speechless. So, I did the next best thing.

I kissed him. I whole heartedly kissed him. I didn’t have words to match the beauty behind his own but I had actions. Our tongues dances around hungrily for what seemed like hours although only a few minutes had passed. We broke apart, both taking in a deep breath.

“Wow. That was wow.” I stood with my mouth agape.

Trying to process the intensity that was becoming our relationship. I didn’t know why I felt so comfortable spilling my soul to Daxton, but it felt easy. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. His yummy lips didn’t hurt the situation either. I slowly brought a hand up to my swollen lips, still mesmerized by how well he kisses. Daxton grabbed my hand and lead me to the couch. I was brought down slowly from the euphoria I was feeling. I grabbed the TV. Remote from the end table and flipped it on, unsure of what else to do with my nervous hands. I was trembling under his touch, his warm fingertips caressing the nape of my neck. He looked at me thoughtfully, not speaking a word. I couldn’t resist leaning into his body and resting my head on his shoulder. He lifted my chin up so that my eyes met his. His deep eyes stole my breath, looking into mine in almost a painful manor.