Mirror: Book One of the Valkanas Clan (24 page)

I paused at the door, my hand resting on the knob. I couldn’t stand the thought that I was about to walk out of the best friendship I’d ever had without a fight.

“I’m leaving because you asked," I said. "I’m sorry I scared you. But I’m not a liar, or a monster, or anything other than your friend. If you want to talk, please call me. I’ll leave you alone otherwise.”

When I closed the door behind me, I heard her start to cry. It took everything I had to keep myself going, one step in front of the other, to the car. I sat there for half an hour before I could convince myself to turn the keys, and once the car was started I decided to drive back to my place. I needed some more clothes and cat kibble anyway, and the thought of being around any other vampires right now made me feel queasy. Being stuck in my own cold skin was bad enough.

After spending a self-pitying hour or so moping around my apartment, ignoring the steadily increasing number of calls from Tom (my one concession was to send him a text message that said
I’m fine, just need to be alone
), I realized that my delay was keeping me from the one thing that might significantly brighten my day: the chance to catch Cesar. With that in mind, I picked up the fresh clothes and cat food I’d set by the door, locked up, and headed back to the mansion.

Before I could gather my things from the Jeep, Tom was beside me.

“Feeling a little overprotective, are we?” I quipped, trying to feign a better mood so as not to provoke any questions.

“You’re really alright,” he breathed, his body suddenly relaxing from the ramrod stiffness it had possessed as he’d approached. I couldn’t pick up any clear stream of thoughts from him either, just a backwash of worry and relief that seemed entirely disproportionate to me given that I’d only been absent for a couple hours.

“Gods, I’m not that incompetent Tom. I know I’m much younger than all of you, but I have been taking care of myself for a good decade or two you know.”

“You didn’t listen to my voicemails, did you?”

“No, I was busy with some stuff at my place. Why?”

“One of Temora’s knights, Joseph, has been killed. They think Cesar did it.”

Fear and sorrow iced through me, and I stood for a moment on the outdoor stairs we’d been climbing, just looking at Tom. Within seconds, though, a new feeling surged through—not replacing the fear or sorrow, but numbing their effects slightly: anticipation. If Cesar had killed someone then it meant he was back on this side of Faerie, and we had a chance of catching him.

And then I felt horribly guilty. I didn’t know Joseph, but still—how could I be viewing his murder mostly in terms of the opportunity it provided? I would never have been inclined to think this way in life, would I?

You were never aware of being hunted in life either,
Tom replied, though I’d not been consciously directing my questions to him.
Knowing someone wants to kill you changes your priorities, believe me. Don’t punish yourself over it.

I
nodded,
relieved to hear there was an alternate explanation to my change of character, one that wasn’t as permanent as vampirism itself. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t—if immortality meant spending an eternity dodging people who wanted to kill me,
then
it didn't seem worthwhile.

Now,
Tom interrupted
,
 will
you please tell me what the hell was so important you couldn’t answer a single
one
of my phone calls?

My guilt, albeit for a new cause, came rushing back as I recalled how I was moping around about my terrible conversation with Ava while Tom was panicking that I was in danger.

What conversation with Ava? Is that where you went today?
His mental tone was urgent, and the easily distracted part of my mind wondered just how I could tell tone without vocal inflection while the rest of my mind tried not to think about having told Ava I was a vampire.

“You told her
what
?” Tom snapped, and the sudden transition to actually hearing him aloud—and quite loudly aloud, at that—startled me so much I could do nothing but stare at him for a few seconds.

He took advantage of my indecision to grab my arm and the stuff I was carrying and rush me into the door, shouting “we’re headed upstairs for a moment—be right back down!” as he yanked me up to the guest room. I just caught a male voice—Sam’s, I think—trilling “have fun lovebirds!” before the door snapped shut behind me.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have, it was just...” I began blathering, my words tumbling out over each other in rapid succession.

“
Sssh
!”
Tom hissed, clamping his hand over my mouth and then continuing in silence.
If they want to, if they’re paying attention, they can hear us from downstairs. Tell me this way.
Slowly.

I tried to organize my thoughts, realizing it might help to backtrack to my first post-change confrontation with Ava and how she’d accidentally seen my fangs and accused me of lying to her and told me not to talk to her again unless I was prepared to be truthful.

Shit, she saw your fangs?

I nodded.
I couldn’t figure out what made them come out or how to force them back in, and she burst in on me while I was still staring at them.

Certain kinds of excitement,
he told me
, or anything related to blood—the smell, sight, or taste of it, sometimes even just thinking about it when you’re new—makes them come out. Only by calming yourself will they go back in.

Great.
So being fascinated by them and pricking my thumb on one had been an especially smart idea. Three cheers for me.

So why did you meet her today?
he
said, ignoring my sarcasm
.

To tell her the truth.
Tom stared at me, and I stared right back, defiant.
She’s my
best
friend, Tom. That trumps everything in my book.
I quickly ran Tom through our history: her fiancé, my live-in boyfriend, their consistent lying that was no less painful for being incredibly stereotypical—Ava’s about the other fiancée he had tucked away across town, and mine about, well, just about everything, including a woman or two. As we both recovered, nursing one another’s wounds, we swore we would tell each other nothing but the truth from then on.

So that’s why you got so upset when I accused you of lying,
Tom mused.

I couldn’t just let our friendship end on a fight like that, on lies. I had to tell her what I was. I trust her—she’d never make information like that public.

To raised his eyebrows at me.
It’s not that simple,
Aly
. If any master vampires find out about this, they are sworn to kill you for threatening our entire race. It wasn’t just your secret to tell.

I cringed. It was starting to
seem
more and more likely that my entire immortal life would be spent trying to avoid being killed by other vampires.
Wonderful.
But Tom shook his head.

I’m not telling anyone, and I have no plans to aim for independence for at least another century. By then Ava would no longer be a threat and therefore the vows I would need to take as a master wouldn’t apply to you anymore. As long as she is as trustworthy as you say, and you can manage to keep your mouth shut about it, you should be fine.

I chuckled bitterly.
Oh I’m sure she’ll keep her mouth shut—she thinks I’m crazy and on drugs. She ordered me to get out of her house. I’ll probably never hear from her again.

The compassion I could feel radiating from Tom’s mind as I finished was too much for me to maintain the numbness I’d been carefully cultivating since arriving at my apartment, and I curled forward into his lap and began crying. Ava had been there with me through every stupid boyfriend, through my parent’s deaths—through everything that had mattered to me over the last ten years. We’d become friends in the first literature course either of us had ever taken during our first semester of college, bonding over how tiresome we found John Donne’s gloomy poetry. We’d never gone more than a few weeks without at least a long phone call, if not an evening spent laughing and telling stories over a bottle of wine. I couldn’t imagine my life without her friendship to keep me sane.

I could just turn her,
Tom mused, and though I could tell he was simply tossing ideas around in the hopes of giving me, well, hope, I jerked upright and glared at him, my anger sudden and sharp. His voice winked out of my mind like a snuffed candle.

“Don’t you
dare!
” I snapped, trying to confine my voice to a whisper. “She’d never forgive any of us, especially not if you were able to control her mind.”

Tom raised his hands, palms outward, and leaned back. “
Woah
,
woah
, alright, it was just a thought.” He paused, and reached a hand out to lightly brush my cheek. “I just hate to see you in so much pain.”

My anger fled, and in its absence I suddenly realized how tired I felt.

“Do you think there’s enough time for me to get a brief nap in before we go down to Cesar’s house again, assuming we’re still doing that?”

“I’m sure they won’t mind—it’s more comfortable driving after dark anyway, and the sun doesn’t set for another two hours or so.” He grinned impishly. “Besides, if I stay up here with you for a while longer they’ll just assume you’d need a little nap for other reasons.”

I smacked him lightly on the arm, then stood, kicked off everything but my underwear and t-shirt, and climbed into bed. Tom climbed in next to me, tucking
himself
behind me as I curled onto my side. He reached his arm around my waist and tugged me against him until we were touching along the full lengths of our bodies. I drifted off to the sound of a soft lullaby, uncertain whether he was singing it aloud or in my mind.

Branches swatted against my face, and at first I thought I was running through the woods behind Cesar's house again. But as I looked around me I realized the trees were too large, the smells too unfamiliar. Vines draped and dangled across limbs, and I jumped when one of them raised its head to hiss at me. I ran faster.

Ahead I could hear footsteps, running away from me.
Someone sobbing, gasping for breath.
I was gaining ground—I caught a glimpse of her, hair tangled and bouncing as she ran.

“Ava?” I called out. “Ava, wait, it's me. It's
Aly
.”

She looked back over her shoulder, still running. The look of terror on her face was absolute, and it sickened me.

And then I realized she wasn't looking at me, but past me.

I couldn't turn, couldn't look. I heard a growl and felt something grab my ankle, and I went down, slamming face first into a concrete floor. I only had a moment to wonder what had happened to the jungle before darkness claimed me.

My eyes snapped open. It took a moment for me to realize everything was dark because I was face down in my pillow. Tom was gone, but Beckett had replaced him, curled up beside me and purring loudly. I twisted slightly so I could scratch him behind the ears, wondering if it had been his little diesel motor that had woken me. If so, I owed him double his treat ration for a while as a thank you for pulling me out of that nasty nightmare. After a few minutes, he stood up and stretched, and I took it as my cue to do the same. Besides, I was getting hungry, and I suspected I’d need all my resources for tonight.

When I went downstairs, I was surprised to find only Sam in the kitchen. I grabbed a few packs out of the fridge, ignoring his exaggerated look of disgust as I punctured the first one.