Miriam's Quilt (13 page)

After gathering up her blocks, she pinned the squares of each row together. If she had time this weekend, she would begin sewing them together.

Fingering the tan fabric, Miriam thought of Ephraim’s tortured face. She wished he would accept her comfort. Like a violent thunderstorm, the trouble that now seemed so big would blow over and Ephraim would rejoice in Susie’s happiness. Time would heal all things and bring her and her dearest love closer to their wedding day.

She couldn’t wait.

“My legs feel like jelly,” Susie said as she stumbled up the steps.

Mamm took a deep breath. “I’m shaking like a leaf.”

Miriam, Mamm, and Susie looked like a parade as they marched single file up the steps to Aunt Emma’s house for a quilting frolic. Miriam carried her basket of sewing supplies while Mamm followed with a pot of cheeseburger soup for dinner and Susie took up the rear with an apricot pie in each hand.

Miriam’s heart felt likely to pound out of her chest. Once they’d made the decision last night that Susie would stay in Apple Lake, they agreed that it would be best to break the news of Susie’s pregnancy to the aunts and cousins first and let word spread from there. Susie had not been baptized yet, so she would not be shunned, but they thought it unwise to leave everyone guessing as she grew bigger and rounder. Better to get the bad news out in the open and give the community a chance to adjust before the baby came. Neither of the aunts had loose lips and most of the cousins would be silent, but Ada, cousin Aaron’s wife and Bishop Schwartz’s daughter, was a notorious gossip. By sundown tomorrow, not one person in the community would be left in the dark.

Dat had agreed to miss work and stay home with Yost, who was still under house arrest. When Susie made her confession to the relatives, Yost’s presence would be unwelcome at best.

Aunt Emma threw the door open and let out that little squeal she used whenever she saw one of her relatives. “Bless my soul, it is the Bontragers!” She gave her sister and then the nieces a hug. “I am especially glad Miriam and Susie are come. We need better quilters than me if we are to finish this quilt today. Mary and Kate and Ada are already here. We expect Erla and her girls any time now.”

Mary waved from the kitchen, where she fed her baby in his high chair. Kate rushed forward to hug her cousins. “It is so good to see you.” Glancing at Ada, who sat on the sofa with her feet propped on a stool, she pulled Miriam close and whispered into her ear. “Nathaniel and I pray for Yost every day. How is he doing?”

Miriam gripped her basket. “It has been hard, but we are through the worst, Lord willing. Yost is not happy, but at the moment, he is compliant. That is something.”

Even at four years older, Kate had always been one of Miriam’s favorite cousins. Before she’d married Nathaniel, Kate had thought of jumping the fence herself. She’d even gone to music school before, as she told it, Nathaniel made himself completely irresistible and she couldn’t tell him no.

When Kate left Apple Lake for college, Ephraim expressed concern for her soul, and Miriam spent many nights praying that Kate would choose baptism and come back home.

“And how are you?” Miriam said. “Still feeling like a newlywed?”

Kate’s eyes shone. “Every morning I wake up and think, ‘I can’t believe I am married to this man.’ Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over.”

“I have never seen two people as happy as you and Nathaniel.”

“Have you kept track of Rebecca and Levi? They look as if they are floating six inches off the ground.”

“Is she coming today?”

“Jah, with her mamm, if she can stand to be away from Levi for more than three minutes.”

They laughed. Oh, the joy of being so deeply in love!

Aunt Emma and Mary brought the quilt frames from the shed. “Miriam and Ada, will you set it up at two of the corners?”

Ada shifted her weight on the sofa. “My back is giving me mighty trouble, Mamm Weaver.”

“Cum, Susie,” Aunt Emma said. “Take the end, will you?”

Four of them positioned the stands in four corners of the room and lay the boards across them. Everyone but Ada surrounded the outside of the boards and stretched and tacked the backing onto the frames. Then came the thin batting and the quilt top over that. Keeping a close eye on the center seams, they tacked the quilt top to the frames, readying it for the tiny stitches that were the hallmark of every Amish quilt.

Cousins Rebecca and Linda came through the door just then with their mamm leaning heavily on their arms. Aunt Erla suffered from arthritis that kept her homebound most of the time. It was a good day when she could attend a get-together.

Aunt Emma squealed her greeting as Rebecca and Linda led Aunt Erla to the overstuffed sofa and helped her sit. Rebecca fluffed a pillow to put behind her mother’s back while Linda removed Aunt Erla’s shoes and got another pillow for her feet.

“Denki, girls. Now go quilt. I will be fine,” Aunt Erla encouraged.

Rebecca hugged everyone in sight while Linda made a beeline for Susie. They were the same age, but Susie was about to grow up very fast.

“I must warn everyone; I am a terrible quilter,” Rebecca said as Aunt Emma threaded needles.

“You are a fine quilter,” Miriam insisted. “You simply don’t like to quilt.”

Linda picked up a needle. “She will hardly get a stitch in. All she does is moon over her new husband all day long.”

Sunbeams flashed in Rebecca’s eyes as she smiled. “I have the most handsome husband in the world.”

Kate propped her hands on her hips and grinned. “I think not. There is no one Nathaniel’s equal.”

Ada turned up her nose. “It is vanity to say such things, but as sure as you’re born, my Aaron has a finer countenance than either of them.”

“There will be no argument about this,” Aunt Emma said. “Solomon is the handsomest man alive, and I can prove it.”

“And how is that?” Aunt Erla said.

Aunt Emma stretched out her arms and put her fingers together in front of her, pantomiming Uncle Solomon’s protruding stomach. “There is more of him to love.”

Miriam joined in the laughter, but she couldn’t be completely comfortable. There was still the revelation they must make about Susie’s baby. The unpleasant truth would surely put a damper on the quilting party.

Aunt Emma glided toward the kitchen. “Before we start, we have an announcement to make. Wait here.”

Miriam held her breath. The perfect opportunity for Susie to make an announcement of her own had come.

Aunt Emma returned carrying a small cake frosted in yellow with a tiny candle burning on the top. She tilted the cake so everyone could see the writing.

“B–A–B–Y,” it read in big orange-frosting letters.

“I am going to have a baby in December,” Kate blurted out, her face the picture of happiness.

Linda squealed and clapped her hands. Others sighed and cooed and congratulated Kate on her good news.

Miriam glanced at Mamm. Would Susie’s revelation spoil this wonderful moment for Kate? Perhaps waiting for a better time would be wise.

Susie made up their minds for them as she promptly burst into tears and fled out the front door.

The room fell into shocked silence. Aunt Emma stared wide-eyed at Mamm. “What is wrong?”

Mamm chased after Susie, leaving Miriam to face the curious eyes alone. She chose to be cowardly. “Will you forgive me? I will be right back.” She promptly turned tail and marched through the door.

Mamm stood on the porch, embracing Susie while she moaned her grief. “That is how a baby should be brought into the world—with a cake and candles and a mother and father who love each other. Nobody is going to think my baby is good news.”

Mamm smoothed a hand over Susie’s kapp. “Let’s go home. We can tell them you don’t feel well and try this another day.”

The heaviness in Miriam’s heart grew like a pile of stones. What advice would Seth give her? At this moment, she needed his clear thinking. She imagined his gray eyes gleaming with sympathy for Susie’s distress. He would want Miriam to do what was best for Susie.

“What do you want to do, Susie?”

Susie sniffled softly. “What do you think I should do?”

“You decide. It is your secret to tell when you want to tell it.”

Susie looked at Miriam as if making a decision were the strangest idea in the world. “I don’t know.” She pulled a hanky from her apron and mopped her face. “I am afraid this will get harder the longer I put it off, but I don’t want to spoil Kate’s happy day.”

“Her good news is still good,” Mamm said.

“How I wish I could go back and change that one foolish decision. Sin brings nothing but misery.” She wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and squared her shoulders. “I will tell them.”

Mamm and Miriam followed her into the house, where the aunts and cousins waited in silence.

Susie motioned for everyone to sit as she stood behind the sofa and leaned on the back for support. “First of all,” she said, “I want to apologize to Kate for ruining her wonderful news. I am very, very happy for you.”

Kate rubbed her hand over the quilt. “You haven’t ruined anything.”

“I am here to ask your forgiveness of my sin.” Susie clutched the back of the sofa. “The truth is, I am going to have a baby too.”

The silence doubled in volume. No one moved.

“I have made a terrible mistake,” Susie said, as her tears reappeared and splashed like rain on the back of the sofa.

“And no husband,” Ada murmured, pursing her lips and looking around the room for others to join her in disapproval.

Linda and Rebecca glanced at each other before lowering their gazes to the floor. Kate, with distress evident in her eyes, touched her mother’s arm and then covered her mouth with her hand.

Susie forced out her next words through uncontrollable sobbing. “I’m so ashamed.”

Aunt Emma shook off her shock like shedding a coat on a hot summer day. “Oh, my poor little girl, come here right now.” She jumped from her chair and saved Susie the trouble of taking a step. Enfolding Susie in her arms as only a mother could, she said, “We love you no matter what.”

“Thank you,” Susie said between sobs.

Soon Kate, Mary, Rebecca, and Linda surrounded their cousin in a five-person hug. Even Aunt Erla, who didn’t move from the couch, took Susie’s hand and squeezed it as tightly as she could with her gnarled fingers.

Only Ada stayed put with her feet still propped on the stool. She looked as if she had eaten a fat, juicy slug.

Aunt Emma pulled away from Susie and patted her cheek. “What a brave girl you are to share the news. We all want to help you. When is the baby coming?”

“December,” Susie said. “Like Kate’s. But it will be a blessing when her baby is born.”

“Every baby comes into this world by God’s grace,” Aunt Erla said. “We will rejoice for both.”

Ada seemed to explode from the sofa. “I am sorry to have to chastise you, but rejoicing at a time like this is improper. This girl has committed a grave sin. We do not rejoice over wickedness.”

Aunt Emma lifted her chin. “We rejoice over a baby, Ada. Susie has already owned up to her sins. I am sure she has suffered through weeks of grief. Am I right, Susie?”

Susie nodded.

Aunt Emma nodded back. “It is time for repair, not condemnation.”

“It is time for repentance,” Ada said. She grabbed her sewing basket from the table and her bonnet from the hook. “I won’t be back.”

They stared at her as she huffed and puffed out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

Mary bounced her baby on her hip. “Ada must feel the need to rush home and repent.”

Either that or spread the news to at least twelve neighbors by bedtime.
Miriam thought of Ephraim and her heart skipped a beat. He would soon hear the news from somebody besides her. There was no stopping Ada now.

Once Ada marched through the door, they seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief and quickly forgot that she had been there.

“How are you feeling?” Mary asked. “Any morning sickness?”

Susie laid a hand on her stomach. “A little. Ginger pills help.”

Kate took Susie by the arm and led her to Ada’s place on the sofa. “What will you do once the baby is born?”

Susie frowned. “I do not know. I want my baby to have a gute home, but right now I cannot face giving it up.”

Aunt Erla patted Susie’s hand. “You will know what to do when the time is right, Lord willing.”

“Lord willing,” Susie said.

Mary handed her baby to her mamm. “In the meantime, we have a quilt to make. But if any of you feel like crying, step away from the fabric. I will not stand for tears on my new bedspread.”

“There she is. Don’t stare.”

Miriam turned to see who was behind her, but whoever it was had disappeared behind the row of buggies in the lane. She went around to the back of the house.

Miriam had arrived at the Wengerds’ alone, on foot. Thick, ancient maples towered above the broad lawn where two volleyball nets stood side by side. Three long tables set with lemonade, cookies, pretzels, and pickles awaited hungry teenagers.

Yost was confined to house arrest for three more days, and with the news of Susie’s baby still fresh, Mamm and Dat thought it best that Susie stay home and away from curious eyes tonight. The time for her return would come soon enough. Let the community adjust first.

With some anxiety, Miriam decided to attend the gathering. People were bound to be offended or downright hostile to her, as Susie’s sister. But she swallowed her pride and determined that the Bontragers would not live in the shadows. They belonged to the community, and the community should be given a chance to accept them, warts and all.

More than anything else, Miriam knew she must set things right with Ephraim tonight. He deserved to know why events had not gone as he’d hoped. She knew she could make him understand. People were always more important than what they had done. Just as Seth said.

Miriam scanned the milling crowd as she stepped into the backyard. Seth had talked Laura into coming after all. They stood together on the lawn, playing volleyball. Miriam smiled as Seth hit the ball and launched it high into the air. His teammates gasped and squealed as it landed twenty feet behind him, barely missing the snack tables.

“Seth, we know you have muscles. No need to show us how strong you are,” Peter Wengerd called.

Both teams laughed.

Seth sprinted to retrieve the ball and then served it over the net as he ran back to his place.

Miriam saw Ephraim in the corner of the yard farthest from her, sitting with a group of boys. High-pitched noises came from their direction as they pulled grass and used the blades as whistles. Miriam wanted to march straight to Ephraim with her explanation, but it wasn’t a good idea while he was surrounded by his friends. Surely they could find some time later to be alone.

Hollow and his sister Esther Rose must have been watching for Miriam. They were at her side almost as soon as she set foot in the yard.

“Miriam,” Hollow said, “how is Susie?”

Esther gave Miriam a quick hug. “She told us today at the pretzel stand. We are crushed. Crushed. We love Susie like she was our own sister.”

“I sent her home,” Hollow said. “She was too upset to work once she told us the news.”

Miriam studied Hollow’s face. She was still not sure that Hollow was not the father of Susie’s child. But the sharp angle of his jaw and the shadow in his usually bright eyes spoke of concern for Susie, not of guilt for himself.

“It took courage to tell us like she did,” Esther said.

Hollow leaned close. “A certain person told us that she would not be buying pretzels from us so long as Susie worked there.”

A pit yawned at the bottom of Miriam’s stomach. “Ada Weaver?”

“I ain’t saying who. But I am afraid I was unkind. I told her, never mind that, because I wouldn’t never sell her another pretzel even if she paid me a thousand dollars. After work, I went to her house and asked for forgiveness.”

Tears stung Miriam’s eyes. “You are both true friends. The next few months will not be easy. Susie needs all the friends she can get.”

Hollow stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked at the ground. “What she did was not right, I know, but she is a sweet girl. Not a wicked bone in her body. I can’t help but think that someone took advantage of her gute heart.”

“She said she wanted to be loved,” Miriam said.

“She should know better than that,” Hollow said. “We all love her.”

Esther took her brother’s elbow. “Maybe we wasn’t good at showing it.”

They stood in silence for a few moments.

Hollow turned his head and glanced around the backyard. “Do you want to play volleyball?”

“Jah, okay.”

Hollow led the way as Miriam walked arm in arm with Esther behind him.

Miriam’s cousin Elmer Weaver, Kate’s brother, ran to catch up and gave her a warm embrace. “You okay?”

“Jah.”

He backed away from her and continued his path to the snack tables. “Remember, we love your family.”

Three of the Wengerd girls—Ruth, Naomi, and Hannah—passed Miriam, carrying trays of pretzels and cookies. They paused to acknowledge her.

“We are praying for Susie and for a healthy baby,” Naomi said. “Will you tell her? And Yost too.”

Miriam hadn’t ventured halfway across the lawn before her progress completely stopped, as neighbors and friends surrounded her with good wishes and assurances of their love for Susie and their family. Miriam had hoped for understanding; she hadn’t expected to be smothered with love. Fear of melting into a puddle of grateful tears kept her from uttering a word. Nodding and smiling, she blinked repeatedly to keep her eyes from overflowing.

How could she ever have doubted the goodness of these people?

Because she doubted it in herself.

In the not-so-distant past, news of a girl with child would have set her righteous indignation ablaze. She might not have spread the gossip like Ada Weaver, but she would have talked it over endlessly with Ephraim, and they would have concluded to avoid the sinner and disdain her wicked ways.

Almost every one of her neighbors showed more love than she would have.

Miriam eventually made her way to the volleyball game, where she stood on the opposite side of the net from Seth. He smiled at her with his whole face, his eyes dancing and arms held away from his body, ready to hit the volleyball.

His look sent a thrill of satisfaction down Miriam’s spine. She had made a bold decision, and he was proud of her. She wasn’t sure why, but Seth’s approval meant a great deal to her.

She didn’t know how he did it, but his smile reassured her that Susie and Yost would be all right, that her family could weather this storm, and that she would be happy again. She put her hand to her heart to feel the warmth that grew there.

Laura stood next to Seth. She breathed heavily from exertion. “I warn you, Miriam, if you stand right there, even with a net between you, Seth might pop you in the nose with the ball.”

“Jah,” Seth said. “I have no skill. The balls I hit fly in every which direction.”

Miriam crouched and cupped one hand over the other. “I will take my chances.”

As it turned out, Seth did not possess false humility. He truly proved a terrible volleyball player. Most of his volleys either hit an unsuspecting teammate in the head or went so far afield that they put everyone in the Wengerds’ yard in harm’s way.

His final hit hurtled the ball into a leafy maple tree, where it disappeared. Players on both sides of the net erupted in laughter.

“You are getting better,” Abner Yutzy said. “At least you didn’t hit anybody that time.”

Seth grinned, jogged to the tree, and started climbing. “Everybody sit down,” he hollered. “This may take a few minutes.”

Miriam giggled at Seth’s pathetic skills. Ephraim was an excellent volleyball player. There was nothing he wasn’t good at.

Thinking of Ephraim made Miriam catch her breath. She must talk to him. Surveying the group of young people, she caught sight of him standing near the house, talking with his brother Freeman and Sarah Schwartz, the bishop’s daughter. Ephraim ran his fingers through his hair as he visited, seemingly without a care in the world.

More than a little eager, Miriam practically jogged across the yard. He glanced her way, said something to his companions, and took long strides toward her.

His frown sent ice through her heart as he came at her with his fists clenched, his shoulders and back as rigid as stone.

Miriam’s heart thumped against her ribs. He was more upset than she had ever seen him. How could she have expected otherwise? She had expressly gone against his wishes, and his pride had been wounded. She had a lot of explaining to do.

“Is this how you show your love for me?” he said in a hushed tone, glancing around to be sure they were not overheard. “By telling the whole world mere hours after I begged you not to?”

“It would have been wrong to send her away, Ephraim. She feels things so deeply.”

“How can I marry someone who puts her own selfish wishes ahead of mine?”

Miriam couldn’t quell her twinge of irritation. “Ahead of
your
own selfish wishes?”

He glanced around again and forced a smile through clenched teeth. “I tried to warn you. If you had sent Susie away, there might have been a chance to save your family’s reputation. You are low because of Yost, but I could have endured it. I would have endured it because I love you. But now, oh Miriam, don’t you see how Susie’s wickedness has ruined our future? I can’t marry someone who has been tainted like this.”

Miriam tried to wrap her mind around Ephraim’s words but felt as if she were in the middle of a nightmare. His lips moved in slow motion and his voice echoed in her head as if he stood very far away.

She heard herself speak. “What are you saying? I don’t understand.”

“Can I make my feelings any plainer? I will not see you anymore. You are a stranger to me. Sarah is the bishop’s daughter. She is more suitable.”

Miriam put her hand to her forehead as the ground began to spin.

“We are lucky that we have not been published yet,” Ephraim said. “Imagine our embarrassment if we had to call it off after we were engaged. This way will be easier for both of us.”

His lips formed a tight line, and without another word, he rejoined Sarah and Freeman, who waited for him.

Miriam watched them go, disbelief her only emotion.

Her breathing became ragged and forced as she wrapped her arms around her stomach and tried not to throw up. Try as she might, she could not subdue the trembling of every muscle in her body.
Somebody, please wake me from this horrible dream.

A warm hand slid around her wrist. “Miriam.”

Who knew that so much compassion could be conveyed in one word?

“Miriam, cum,” Seth said, with barely contained composure in his voice. He looked behind him. “Cum, I will take you home.”

She thought her shock might suffocate her. “He…he doesn’t want me anymore.” She turned her head to see if she could catch a glimpse of Ephraim.

“Don’t look. He’s not looking at you.” With a firm arm around her shoulders, Seth led her away from curious eyes. Laura soon joined them, wrapping her arm around Miriam’s waist to help prevent Miriam from collapsing into a heap on the grass. Together, brother and sister supported Miriam all the way to the front, where their buggy waited, parked at the side of the lane. She stepped up numbly into the seat with their assistance, and they got in around her.

Seth took the reins, and Laura put her arm around Miriam as a mother might comfort her frightened child.

“What happened, Seth?” said Laura. “I saw you run to her, but I—”

“Not now,” Seth replied.

Miriam wanted to protest, to ask them to please stop talking about her as if she weren’t there.

But she wasn’t there. She stood in the Wengerds’ yard, watching the world crumble as Ephraim walked away. She would never be whole again.

They rode the short distance to her house in silence. Seth glanced at Miriam periodically while pretending to concentrate on the road. His breathing came as irregularly as hers did, as if his lungs were too crowded for air.

Seth stopped the buggy in front of the house and slid off the seat. Miriam followed. He took her hand and helped her to the ground.

She couldn’t look at him for fear of seeing pity in his eyes. He had witnessed her humiliation and heartbreak, and she could not stand the thought of one more person rejecting her.

“I will help you in,” he said.

“Nae, I can do it.”

“You are shaken up. Let me help.”

“Please, Seth, let me go.” Her voice cracked, and as he reached out a hand, she fled to the safety of the house where no one could see her turn to dust.