Miriam and the Stranger (30 page)

Aunt Fannie sat down on the bed and didn’t say anything for several long moments. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, so let’s back up and start at the beginning. What did you do that’s so wrong?”

“Tyler and I kissed! Twice!” Miriam blurted out. “I mean two different times. Oh, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I couldn’t help myself.”

“You did
what
?” Aunt Fannie was on her feet again.

“Oh, Aunt Fannie,” Miriam wailed. “What am I going to do?”

“When did all this happen?” Aunt Fannie sat down again, ashen-faced.

“The first day I was back from Possum Valley, on that Sunday afternoon when I went back to the schoolhouse with my buggy. And then when Tyler brought me home in his car from the youth gathering.”

“And Mose knows this?”

“I don’t know how he could… but I know I have to confess to him… then he’ll know for sure.” Mirian burst into a fresh set of tears.

“He must already know,” Aunt Fannie muttered. She walked over to the window and looked out. “Why else would he not write? Why else would he come all this way and not even tell you, of all people, he’s coming?”

Miriam choked out, “But who… and how?”

“Someone must have seen you at the schoolhouse,” Aunt Fannie said. “Oh, Miriam, how could you! This is beyond you. You’ve never acted like this before. Now your sister Shirley—
yah
, that I can understand. Shirley used to pull these stunts, but not you.”

Miriam buried her face in her pillow and moaned.

“Well, you’re right about confessing to Mose.” Aunt Fannie’s face was set. “That might help. It’s your only chance. And there must still be hope. Why else would Mose make the trip out here? He must still love you.”

“Love me?” Miriam muffled her voice.

“You don’t have to act surprised.” Aunt Fannie gave Miriam a glare. “You’re an attractive catch. Why else would Tyler have kissed you? Oh, how could I have been so wrong about the man? Here he was seducing you and bringing the police into our house, to say nothing of what still lies ahead.”

For a moment only Miriam’s muffled cries could be heard. Then Aunt Fannie spoke up again. “I know what, Miriam. Let me talk with Mose first. I’ll tell him I just learned of this thing myself and that Tyler pulled the wool over all of our eyes. I’m not the deacon’s
frau
or the bishop’s, but I am a woman. He’ll listen to me.”

Miriam shook her head. “I think it’s best that I go first. I have done this, and I must redeem this. There is no other choice.”

“But he…” Aunt Fannie stopped. “Well, okay. Perhaps you know best. But I’ll make it easier for you if I have a chance.”

Miriam tried to smile but in vain.

“Come.” Aunt Fannie took her hand. She led Miriam down the stairs like a child. Aunt Fannie let go only moments before they stepped into the living room. Through the window they could see the small group of women still in the yard. One of the men had a buggy ready to go, so it wouldn’t be long before the yard was empty. Miriam pulled in a sharp breath. Mose was there, standing with his back turned to the house and in deep conversation with Uncle William.

“Help us, dear Lord,” Aunt Fannie whispered.

Terror gripped Miriam. The man could ruin her, and she could no longer put a
gut
face on this. Mose might even plan to excommunicate her—if she repented or not.

“Do you think he’ll put me in the
bann
?” Miriam whispered.

“How could he?” Aunt Fannie retorted. “You did a mighty stupid thing, but the
bann
isn’t for kissing another man. Not unless you’re married.”

“I remember when you told me about your… transgression,” Miriam said. “Uncle William was going to force a church confession out of you. You weren’t married when you kissed your former
Englisha
boyfriend at that chance meeting.”

Aunt Fannie paled a little. “
Yah
, but that’s not the
bann
. And if you have to make a church confession, you’ll still have Mose.”

She could handle that, Miriam told herself. The shame would cut deep, but others had had to confess their faults in front of the whole church. However, she had never done so before and didn’t want to now. From her reaction, pride must have crept deep into her soul. And did not pride always come before great destruction?
Yah
, it did. No wonder she had fallen.

“I can do that much.” Miriam looked up at her aunt’s face. Horror was written there. “What?” Miriam managed.

“Tyler might have changed everything in the past few days!” Aunt Fannie said. “Perhaps this is no longer an ordinary situation.”

Miriam saw what Aunt Fannie meant—the fires, the police, the yellow crime tape, the long conversation in the living room on Friday night about arrests and courtrooms and testimonies. Uncle William had been white-faced under his dark beard when Tyler and the police officer had finally left.

“Oh, Miriam.” Aunt Fannie clutched her arm. “I can’t believe this.”

They might as well believe, Miriam told herself. Outside Uncle William was shaking hands with the last of the soot-covered men, obviously thanking them for their help. Mose’s straight form broke away from the group and strode toward the house, his head
bowed low. He raised it only to nod to the three women still in the yard. He appeared tired, like a weary man after a long day’s work. Mose paused by the water hydrant where the men had cleaned up for lunch and splashed water on his face and beard. He rubbed on the soap for a long time before he rinsed and dried himself with the towel hanging on a nearby bush.

“I’d better leave you alone,” Aunt Fannie whispered, vanishing in the direction of the kitchen.

Miriam watched, transfixed. Mose was still a young man, but his beard was lengthy for his age and untrimmed. Straggly hairs floated sideways as he dried them with the towel. His eyes blazed even from this distance, and Miriam stepped further out of sight.

This man was to be her husband. Her whole body trembled at the thought. Would his kisses be tender? There was no way she would find out now before they said the vows together. But what right did she have to know? How could a kiss be trusted to tell the truth of a man’s character? If it could, Tyler was the man she should marry instead of Mose. Yet Tyler had nothing to offer her. He had waltzed into the community and taken advantage of them all. Tyler had been after nothing but a corruption investigation, which had nothing to do with the community’s best interest. And Tyler didn’t take no for an answer when it came to matters of the heart, even when he left nothing behind but broken pieces. Her mind went back to the Wednesday night meeting she had overheard from the kitchen.

“Drop the whole investigation,” Uncle William begged Tyler. “We’re sorry we ever got involved.”

“
Yah
, please, Tyler,” Deacon Phillips seconded.

“It’s out of my hands now,” Tyler insisted.

“He’s right,” the officer agreed. “The state is involved now, and we’re sorry for the trouble you’ve all had. But we’ll see what help can be provided.”

“We want no help from the state,” Deacon Phillips said in no uncertain terms. “That is not our way.”

Tears sprang to Miriam’s eyes at the memory of that night. Her reverie ended when Mose pushed open the door. Miriam jumped. She whirled about, but he had already seen that she had been watching him from the window. No emotion showed on his face.

“Miriam,” he said.

She wanted to race to him and fly into his arms the way Jonathon did when she came home from the schoolhouse, but her body wouldn’t move.

“You know then?” Miriam forced the words out.

“That you have been cavorting with that
Englisha
man who has brought all this trouble on your community?” Mose spat the words out.

“Mose, please,” Miriam begged. “I know there’s no excuse, but—”

Mose cut her off. “So it is true? I had hoped in the depths of my heart that you might at least deny the matter.”

“And lie to you?” Miriam couldn’t keep the surprise from her face.

Mose’s laugh was harsh. “How is that worse than kissing an…” Mose stopped, as if unable to say more. He recovered himself quickly. “You are my promised one, Miriam. And I am a bishop, and this
Englisha
man is a troublemaker, a rabble-rouser of the worst sort. And he brings the law into the community, officers who ask questions of us. The whole community is in an uproar when I arrive, and with
gut
reason. Now two of our people have had their barns burned down because of this
Englisha
man. He has come among us like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And now he has seduced you. How could you, Miriam?”

Miriam covered her face with both hands and slowly lowered
herself to her knees. She crept forward until she could see his ash-covered shoes.

“What is this, Miriam?” His voice was harsh above her.

“I have fallen, Mose.” She forced herself to speak loudly enough for him to hear. “I know I have. I’m unworthy to ask your forgiveness. I simply say that I am guilty. You may do with me as you wish.”

“Get on your feet, Miriam,” he said. “I am not the Lord that you must humble yourself before me.”

She longed for his hand to reach down and lift her up. His slightest touch would have helped heal the jagged pain throbbing in her heart. Miriam waited, but in vain. There was only the sound of his sharp intake of breath above her. Slowly, Miriam placed her hands on the floor and stood. She trembled in front of him, her head bowed.

“Look at me,” Mose ordered.

Miriam brought her head up and tried to keep back the tears.

“Will you take your punishment for this?” His tone was brisk. “Willingly? Whatever it is?”

“
Yah
,” she whispered.

“Even the
bann
?”

Miriam choked and clutched her chest.

“Even the
bann
?” His voice rose higher.

“
Yah
.” Miriam stifled her sob.

“Then that is
gut
.” Mose stepped back. “I will not speak to you again until a time of seclusion for you is completed. I will speak with your bishop and tell him you have agreed to a voluntary time of excommunication to seek and find the proper repentance. So consider yourself blessed, Miriam. After the shame you’ve brought upon all of us, but especially me, this is a light punishment. The length of the
bann
will be announced tomorrow after the service, and the school will be closed for that time. Do you understand?”

Miriam dropped her head again and wept silently.

“I’ll take that as a
yah
,” Mose said, and closed the door behind him.

Miriam didn’t move until Aunt Fannie’s hands slipped around her shoulders and helped her to the couch. The two clung together until Miriam’s sobs had quieted down.

“It’s only for a little while, dear,” Aunt Fannie whispered. “You can make it.”

“I wish I were dead,” Miriam said. “I wish the day I was born had never been.”

“Come now.” Aunt Fannie clucked her tongue and tucked Miriam’s wet hair under her
kapp
. “You’re not quite Job yet, I don’t think.”

Chapter Thirty

M
iriam clasped her hands and kept her head down. The three-hour church service would end soon, and the worst thing to ever happen in her life would happen. She would be placed in the
bann
. This story would be part of the tale she would have to tell her children and her grandchildren—how Grandma had fallen for an
Englisha
man and…

The tears stung, but Miriam resisted the temptation to wipe them away. She doubted if any of the unmarried girls sitting on either side of her knew what lay ahead. The chatter all morning before the service had been about the fires and the questions the police still asked of the community men.

The women were horrified as they whispered their questions to each other.

“Can you believe what they’re asking? Did any of us notice any illegal billing or activity when we rebuilt after the tornado?”

“Did we receive more goods than we needed for our building?”

“Or who was our main supplier for the materials? Don’t they know?”