Mind's Eye (32 page)

Megan wasn’t the least bit concerned. “All I know is the Nick Hall I’ve seen since you barged into my office. You’re being too hard on yourself. Anyone who had an out-of-body experience, who could view their past from above like you’ve been able to do, would find things about themselves that needed improving. And everyone changes and grows from their experiences. But I know that your essence didn’t change.”

Hall considered. “Well, I’d like to think I was a decent enough person, despite my flaws—at least at my core.”

“I’m
sure
you were, Nick. We all have lots of different facets. I don’t want to get all philosophical on you, but we’re different people in different situations and around different companions. We’re all shaped by genes and events. Not entirely. And not to use this to excuse bad behavior. But it’s true. So much is a matter of perspective.” She paused. “Did you ever see the play,
Wicked
?”

Hall nodded. “Yes. My parents took me to see it on Broadway when I was a teenager.”

“Me too!” said Megan excitedly. “What a great show. The musical numbers were
incredible
.”

Hall smiled. “I’m not much of a Broadway musical kind of guy, but even I have to agree with that.”

“The reason I bring it up is that seeing it really changed the way I look at things. Things often aren’t black and white. Or are black when viewed from one angle, and totally white from another. The genius of the play is that it takes a classic story we all grew up with,
The Wizard of Oz
, and instead of telling it from Dorothy’s perspective, retells it from Elphaba’s perspective—the Wicked Witch of the West. And everything changes. Not that it’s always the case, but this demonstrates one case in which there are hidden motivations, things that we weren’t aware of that change
everything
. Elphaba wasn’t wicked at all. She was painted this way by the
real
villains. She never really planned to hurt Dorothy—she just needed to make it look that way. People and situations can be multi-faceted, and a lot can depend on which facet you happen to be looking at.”

Hall nodded, considering her words carefully. Megan Emerson continued to surprise him. She thought in ways he had never encountered before. She was fun and playful, but she had a depth to her that wasn’t immediately apparent. Which he guessed spoke to her exact point.

“You’re absolutely right,” he said simply.

“You talked about the cocktail party effect,” continued Megan. “Maybe we should call this the
wicked effect
. And it applies to
us
right now more than anyone. Look at the crazy situations we’re finding ourselves in. With life-and-death decisions to make, involving revolutionary technologies and abilities. And then consider the paramedic, Hector Garcia. Tell the story of your encounter with him from
his
point of view, and Nick Hall is a dangerous, gun-wielding mutant—possibly from outer space—and a thief. From my point of view, you’re a gentleman and a hero. You risked your life to save mine. And you would never have carried out your threats against them no matter what the circumstances.”

She stood up, rose to her full height, and leaned against the edge of the granite counter on which he was sitting. Their faces were now approximately at the same level.

“So I’m sure you’ve done some annoying things in your life. I’m sure you aren’t proud of some of them. But give yourself a break. There’s more to most of us than meets the eye. And it’s who you are now that counts the most.” She sighed. “Besides, this gives us something else we have in common.”

Hall raised his eyebrows questioningly.

“I haven’t been very happy with myself recently, either. The move from LA was hard. I’ve become moody and not very fun. And I’ve been drinking too much.”

“You haven’t had a drink since I’ve known you,” said Hall. “And the Glandons had a well-stocked bar.”

“Believe me, I
know
. Don’t think I wasn’t tempted. Very tempted. But I knew I had to get back to my roots, find myself. And this experience is the perfect opportunity to do so. So I’m all for taking each other the way we
find
each other. We can learn from our past mistakes. But we’re not allowed to ruin
the now
by beating ourselves up over
the then
.”

“Very deep,” said Hall. “I mean that,” he hastened to add, realizing this might have come across as patronizing or sarcastic otherwise. “And in a good way,”

Megan leaned in as if to initiate a kiss, but Hall pulled back. He had vowed to tear off the band-aid that was Alicia Green quickly, even knowing it would pull dozens of hairs up by the roots when he did.

“There’s one other thing you need to know,” he said wearily. His expression suggested he had just swallowed poison. “Before I joined the
Explorer
expedition, I was engaged to be married.”

This time it was Megan who backed away. She lowered her eyes and didn’t reply.

Hall felt as if the world were suddenly moving in slow motion, with minutes passing between each new beat of his heart. But he had to stay silent now, as difficult as this was for him to do, and let her process this new information.

Finally, after five or six seconds that seemed like an eternity, Megan lifted her head and met his gaze once again. “Look,” she said softly, trying to keep the hurt from her voice and failing. “You get involved with a man with no past and you take your chances. You did warn me. And we’ve only known each other a few days. So . . . congratulations. I’m happy for you.”

“That’s just it,” he said. “
I’m
not happy for me.”

He went on to passionately explain how he was feeling, how he had changed. And that even before the
Explorer
expedition, he had been coming to the realization that he and Alicia weren’t in love. Not really. He had continued to fool himself, but he doubted he would have done so long enough to actually walk down the aisle. He had proposed more as a reaction to his parents’ deaths than anything else. He and Alicia had both been superficial, getting married for the wrong reasons.

No matter what happened from here on out, Hall assured her he was going to break it off with Alicia. He had no idea what the future would hold, but being with Megan had already shown him he had set the bar too low. That a girl could be more fun to be around than he had known. That discussions could be more lively and engaging. Besides, he wasn’t sure if he even believed in the concept of marriage anymore.

“Funny, a few days ago I was thinking the exact same thing,” said Megan. “But I didn’t believe in ESP then, either—so things can change. I’m not saying they have, by the way—I’m just saying they
can
.”

She paused. “Are you sure about your feelings for Alicia? Sure that when the circumstances change and you get your life back, everything since the dumpster won’t all seem like a bad dream?”

Hall shook his head. “No, my past before I met
you
was more the bad dream. My current feelings aren’t going to change.”

He was sure of this, but also concerned. He felt more vulnerable now than at any time in his life. Megan was one of the few people impervious to his psi ability with whom he
could
have a relationship. He continued to feel dependent on her, and this was worrisome. The more irreplaceable and important a person was in one’s life, he supposed, the more vulnerable and afraid one became of losing them.

And Megan was as irreplaceable as it got.

But as he thought about it, he was forced to admit to himself that her importance had nothing to do with her being one of the few who wouldn’t see him as a leper. Even if every woman on earth were throwing themselves at him, he couldn’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else. It was time to admit that his feelings for Megan would be the same, regardless of the presence or absence of the ESP curse that Kelvin Gray’s experiments had brought into his life.

There was something about this last thought that troubled him. Something about Gray’s experiments. What was it?

He slapped the palm of his hand hard on his forehead as he realized what it was.

“What?” said Megan, tilting her head in confusion.

“I’ve been such an idiot,” he said. “We need to change our strategy. And we need to do it immediately.”

37

Megan scratched her head and reseated herself at the kitchen chair facing him. “What strategy?”

“We can’t keep my psi ability secret anymore.”

“Why not? I thought your reasoning made a lot of sense.”

“It did. But it doesn’t anymore. First, and believe it or not, least important at the moment, I need to get rid of this curse. I’m not going to do that alone. Alex may not have been responsible for these implants, but he’s one of the top electronics and computer experts in the world, and he knows these systems. He could remove them. Or find some other way to kill off my psi ability.”

Megan considered. “That makes sense. And the most important reason to keep this secret was for our safety. But once the press conference is over, and the story is out there, no one will have any reason to kill us anymore.”

“I’m afraid we have to tell him immediately,” said Hall.

Megan blinked in confusion. “I know you’re eager to lose the ESP, Nick. But we’re still probably targets. And your ability could save our lives. Why so urgent all of a sudden?”

“Because I’ve been short-sighted and naive. When I agreed to come to Fresno with Alex, I somehow convinced myself the web surfing technology would never get approved.”

“I know,” said Megan. “And I thought the arguments you raised with Fyfe were good ones.”

“But you’ve already said you thought his were better.”

Megan winced. “On paper, yours are better. But he does know mob psychology and that people would sell their own mothers for the latest gadget. He’s cynical, but I’m sure he’s also right.”

“I’m sure he is, too. That’s the problem. The plan is to go public with all of this Tuesday morning. Have me shoot a demo of the technology. But here’s the thing. What if the exact placement of my implants is entirely responsible for my ESP? What if this ability is a simple side effect? I’d be bringing about the very disaster I wanted to prevent. Bringing the implant technology to the attention of the public would be like opening Pandora’s Box. The internal Internet we can and will adjust to. But if this brings ESP along for the ride . . .”

 Megan frowned deeply. “Yeah. That is a big problem.”

“So I’ll confide in Alex, and
only
in Alex. Immediately. Make him understand the magnitude of the issue. You know I’ve rooted around in his mind and I’ve come to trust him completely. He’s not perfect, but he’s a good man in general. Well-meaning. And he can keep a secret. Especially one this important.”

“I’m sure you’re right. And you’ve proven to be a great judge of character. At least when it comes to women,” she added with a broad smile. Then her smile vanished and she couldn’t help but mumble under her breath, “At least your
recent
judgment.”

Hall hoisted himself off the granite counter and reached out for Megan’s hand to pull her up from the chair and into his arms, when there was a tentative knock at the door.

Hall smiled. He had read that Altschuler was coming for a while now, and that even though the scientist had a keycard of his own, he wasn’t about to throw the door open without warning.

Hall helped Megan up from the chair, but decided he shouldn’t be holding her when Altschuler came through the door.

“Come in, Alex,” said Hall loudly.

Turning to Megan, he added telepathically,
“Well, here goes nothing. This should be . . . interesting.”

38

Vasily Chirkhoff stared into the pale blue eyes of the girl seated across from him at the elegant La Gastronomie Restaurant and Wine Cellar. She was stunning, with a body to match. Also exceedingly pricey. But you got what you paid for, and she was the ultimate provider of what was called in the business, the
girlfriend experience
.

The restaurant was French and five-star, with white satin tablecloths, elaborate chandeliers, and huge, baroque oil paintings in equally baroque frames. If not for the tables, it could have been a room in the Louvre. But Vasily’s philosophy was that when one was spending this much on a companion, one shouldn’t cut corners on dining. And the Russian had money to spare.

The waiter came over to take their order. Vasily ordered the 1998 Gaja Barbaresco, which cost three hundred dollars a glass, one for him and one for the girl, who called herself Jasmine. He loved the name as much as he loved everything else about this exquisite creature, who was unsurpassed with her mouth, but who wasn’t shy about begging him to take advantage of her two other ports of entry as well.