Mindlink (21 page)

“Really?” Hope radiated from Ashley’s face and rays of her
sunshine warmed him from the inside. When she was happy, it evoked something
inside just as strong and primitive as the desire she’d elicited last night.

He nodded once and pointed, stalling to give his abdomen time
to resettle. “We will follow the river this way.”

Ashley walked slightly behind him, as if afraid to be too close
or too far away. A paradox which aptly described her as a whole. Natalie held
Neeko’s hand as they walked and the adoration shining in his eyes gave
One
hope he’d eventually heal from his incarceration
scars. The doctor followed at the rear.

When hoots sounded uncomfortably close behind them, Ashley
caught up and walked in step with him for a while. Fatigue pulled at the skin
under her eyes and her cheekbones protruded more sharply than in the flat images
she projected.

“By the way,” she said, in a way which seemed not the slightest
bit offhand. “Earlier, when I didn’t say anything about how you weren’t for sure
whether the Emerald City is fake, you felt gratitude. Not happiness.” She kept
her face forward, scanning the ground for stray branches and slick moss.

“What is the difference?”

“Uh, gratitude is when you’re thankful. Like you appreciate
what someone has done. Happiness is more complex, deeper. Terrible stuff can be
happening but you can still be happy.”

“So I am thankful to you for staying silent. Not happy?” His
stomach dropped. Disappointment. The sun’s rays had been his primary clue to
unlocking this elusive thing. “How will I know true happiness?”

“That’s like asking how you know you’re in love. You just
do.”

“In love? I am familiar with love but what does it mean to be
in
love?”

She groaned. “Walked into that one, didn’t I? Um, it’s more
than having warm feelings for someone. You want to be around the other person
all the time. You think about them when they’re not around. A compliment from
him is better than all the good reviews in the world. He sends flowers for no
reason and gives you silly presents like Tweety Bird slippers...” Extreme
sadness poured through the link.

“Is ‘in love’ bad? Why does it make you sad?”

A strangled sound came from her throat, then she threw up her
hands. “No, it’s not a bad thing for most people, just me, I guess. I’m sad
because no one ever sends me flowers, unless they want something. Or brings me
presents. Or thinks about me.” She winced and a line appeared between her brows.
“Okay, yes, you think about me. You don’t have to blast me with more pictures,
especially
those
. That’s not what I’m talking
about.”

Her anguish ripped through him. “So you can think about someone
but not be in love. I see.” But he didn’t and he was helpless to resolve her
hurt without a clearer idea what she hurt over. “This is difficult for you. And
frustrating. Do you not understand these concepts either?”

“I do. I understand them well. That’s the core of being an
actress, to make others believe I feel love down to the tiniest nuance. Like
someone who is in love but the other person doesn’t love them back, or someone
in love with an abuser. Human emotion is my forte, so to speak. It’s hard to
describe in words.”

The second she said it, she appeared contrite, likely because
she knew what he would say. He said it anyway. “Show me then.”

“Maybe some other time. My head hurts enough as it is. How is
your shoulder?”

He allowed her to change the subject by answering, “Fine,” but
then fell silent. For the first time, Ashley’s job on Earth had some context and
definition. An actress pretended to feel certain emotions when she did not.

What role did this skill set serve in her society? The doctor’s
acerbic comments indicated a lack of respect for her job.
One
had little use for someone with no purpose.

Yet here on Alhedis, she had incomparable value. She was smart,
determined and excellent with directions. She guided him through the quagmire
inside his flesh, just as she’d guided him toward the medical center and then
the river. She alone had a capacity to understand him without condemnation.

Selfish
. He was being selfish. She
didn’t like the link, yet he pressed her to use it for his own gain. Perhaps he
should start treating her like the exceptional partner she embodied instead of a
tireless fount of information and experience. Then she might focus her
considerable energy toward finding a mythical city for which they had no map, no
direction, no description and no guarantees.

Because he’d made the commitment, he blocked the images of them
together, kissing, and other things his imagination seemed bent on contriving.
After all, he had years of practice suppressing his internal reactions.
“Ashley.”

She shuddered and flattened her shoulders. “Are you going to do
that a lot?”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Talk?”

“Say my name like that.”

“Did I pronounce it incorrectly?” He knew for certain he had
not.

“Never mind, forget it. What did you want?”

Her hair had curled up around her shoulders in the humid forest
and she pulled it off her neck, holding it in a messy pile on her crown. The
light caught the strands, brightening it. He might never grow tired of her
hair.

He hesitated, unsure how to proceed without continuing to act
selfishly. The end goal mattered more than the means, so he opted for
straightforwardness. “I want to discuss what Neeko communicated to me. I would
value your input and your opinion on our next steps.”

She tripped over a branch, almost sprawling to the forest
floor, but caught herself on tree trunk before he could move to assist. “Really?
Why?”

He hadn’t expected for his motives to be called into question.
“It makes sense. You are smart and observant. I do not have all the answers.
Perhaps we can partner together to find them.”

Her sunshine flooded him and he feared for a moment he’d hit
his head. Then she cut it off and the absence left him chilled.

“Don’t say stuff like that,” she said. “It’s not very
nice.”

By the Ancestors, would a day come when he could keep pace with
her? “I do not understand your meaning.”

“You said that because I was talking about compliments earlier.
You don’t mean it. So don’t say it.”

“Are you accusing me of telling a falsehood?” The idea sat
heavily behind his breastbone. “I have done nothing to cause you to believe I
would do so.”

“You lied to everyone on Earth about why we were supposed to
come here. You lie to the others all the time about knowing what you are doing,
when in fact, you don’t. Why not lie to me about thinking I’m smart? Wouldn’t be
the first time,” she muttered.

So many conflicting images hit him at once he couldn’t sort
them fast enough.

Her pain was excruciating. He could think of nothing else but
making it cease. “I cannot lie to you. You see my thoughts as I have them. What
did you determine when I spoke?”

Her eyes filled and she backhanded the moisture away. “No.
You’re not lying and I’m being a stupid psycho-chick. And I’m only admitting
that because I can’t lie to you either,” she said, fiercely. “Much to my
constant annoyance.”

She fell silent and he was so baffled, he did as well.

“Thanks,” she said after a while. “For the compliment. I’m
sorry I went all crazy. I’m tired and scared and I miss home.” The break in her
voice jabbed at him. “I’m used to people with an agenda and I keep responding to
you like you’re one of them.” A slight smile and a shrug. “I also have a hard
time with the link. It’s exhausting always trying to keep from thinking about
things. You know?”

He did. Exactly. Especially because he didn’t want to stop
thinking about her.

Since he could not block his thoughts
and
calm her through the link, he settled for a physical approach by
taking her hand and holding it as they walked. In one of her images, he’d seen
this done, though the carefree couple on the beach in the place she called L.A.
made a far different picture than the two of them tramping along a rocky shore
framed by a bleak and dismal forest. Earth held more and more appeal the longer
he stayed linked.

Ashley’s surprise, because he’d taken her hand, sprang into his
consciousness. The feeling melted into an easy pleasure. His, not hers.

“Allow me to tell you of Kir Dashamun,” he suggested, now that
she’d calmed somewhat. “I cannot find it without help. Neeko remembers nothing
of landmarks or proximity. You have a sense of direction, which is critical. I
trust you. Your keen powers of observation are paramount. Must I continue, or
have I convinced you of your importance in this endeavor?”

The genuine smile blooming on her face punched him in the
abdomen and groin, simultaneously.

“Stop, I’m blushing already. I get it, okay?” She swung his
hand back and forth companionably.

Her fingers brushing against his skin heightened the slow burn
begun by her smile and blocking images of her without her uniform became more
difficult by tenfold. And more infuriating to be required to, when he didn’t
understand why she disliked his thoughts about her. About their kiss. About her
white, bare skin, what it might look like under his fingers. How it slid like
the queen’s silk against his own.

The link communicated how she felt, but not why. Likewise, she
no doubt remained clueless to the reasons he constantly dwelled on these things
because the reasons eluded him as well.

* * *

“If I were a mythical city, where would I hide?” Ashley
muttered, mostly as a distraction from Sam’s hand in hers and their constant
trade-off of scorching-hot mental images. Though it was his fault for starting
it, she actively participated. She was too tired to block and too tired to
pretend she didn’t remember the delicious tingle of his lips on hers.

Ashley and Sam sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

Why was that stupid rhyme stuck in her head? She whacked the
back of her free hand to each temple, which did nothing to dislodge the singsong
verse, but did earn her a sidelong glance from her tree-sitting partner.

A punchy giggle bubbled out. “What? I’m looking for paradise
liked you asked. ‘Take me down to the Paradise City.’”

Dang it. Even singing Guns N’ Roses didn’t budge it. She didn’t
want to be thinking about kissing him. About how they were holding hands and she
liked it. About how he thought she was smart. How she had no defenses against
him.

She longed to find a safe place to crash for a while. Not only
because she was more tired than she’d ever been in her life, but because when
she woke up, the link would be broken. Paradise, indeed, even if the streets
weren’t paved with gold.

Clearing her throat, she hummed a Fergie song and tried to
visualize how she’d create the scene. Maybe that would get rid of the verse.

Fearless
heroine
leads
a
group
of
bedraggled
prisoners
through
a
dark
and
overgrown
forest
in
search
of
a
mythical
city
.
The
vegetation
is
thick
and
impassible
...

Wait a minute. If she hadn’t been visualizing the scene, she’d
have missed it.

“Look.” She pointed and dropped Sam’s hand. A tiny opening in
the trees, close to the ground and barely big enough for Neeko, had been cleared
of underbrush, weeds and loose branches. “That’s man-made. Alien made. Whatever.
Maybe it leads somewhere. If I planned a set for a secret village, I’d put it
close to a water source, but camouflage the path so anyone whizzing by on one of
your floating barges might miss it.”

Dr. Glasses, Natalie and Sam all stopped and turned as one
toward the tree line. Neeko stared at the ground, like he always did, but his
face tilted upward. An improvement.

The opening was on this side of the river—a lucky break. They
had no prayer of crossing the wide swath of water if it hadn’t been.

“What are we standing around for?” she asked and marched the
hundred yards or so to the cleared place. Two trees stood on either side of it,
maybe about five feet apart, but branches grew out from each and met in the
middle to form a barrier. She pushed them aside and started to step into the
gloom of the forest when Sam stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

She bit back a sarcastic sexist comment and stepped aside. His
need to lead far surpassed her need to be a smart aleck. But she gripped his
elbow to keep him from getting too far ahead. Leadership skills didn’t magically
produce full body armor. Something bad could just as easily happen to him.

The forest closed in around them.

Wow. How could she have forgotten how dreary it was under the
canopy? Wet permeated everything and weighed her hair and lashes. And people
went to Costa Rica on purpose for vacation at home. Hoots sounded, echoing
around them and it seemed the forest held its breath until the vibrations faded.
The Khota Marong weren’t far. Maybe waiting for one of them to get separated
from the group. Or maybe they waited until the link broke when one of them died
of starvation and dehydration.

Sam’s black-and-white images flashed in tandem with her own
vision, the range of his colors similar to her own. The leaves and moss and
other stuff were all green, sure, but dark, like the ground, which she could
actually see—unlike the previous trek through the wild underbrush. They stood on
a path, one that had been created, and would have gone unnoticed if she’d been,
say, running through the forest being chased by a Khota Marong. As security
went, the giant hooting cats were deadly effective. But deliberate security or
something a hidden city happened to capitalize on?