Authors: Stella Bagwell

Millionaire on Her Doorstep (14 page)

BOOK: Millionaire on Her Doorstep

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She didn't smile. In fact, her face had a frozen look as she stepped over to him.

“No. It's not me,” she said curtly. She reached out to take the photograph from him, but he kept a grip on it.

“Then who is it?” he asked. “You told me you didn't have any close relatives. She must belong to a friend.”

“It doesn't matter.”

“The child is obviously important to you,” he persisted. “Why don't you want to tell me who she is?”

Maureen reached up and tugged the frame from his hand, then pressed the photograph facedown to her bosom. Her features were stiff when she finally spoke. “The baby was my daughter, Elizabeth.”

The words hit him like a fist in the face. “Your daughter!”

She nodded and turned away from him. Adam stared at her rigid back as all sorts of questions whirled through his mind.

“You said was your daughter. Where is she now? With her father?” Had the man who'd walked out on Maureen also taken their child from her, too? Just the thought made Adam want to hunt the man down and kill him.

The sound that slipped out of her was choked and bitter. “No. My daughter is dead.”

Adam didn't know what to say. What to think. She'd never once mentioned having a child. Or losing one.

For long moments, he stood in stunned silence as he pictured her going through the pain and joy of birth, then later the utter grief of having the baby taken from her.

Slowly, he closed the small space between them and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Tell me,” he whispered.

Shaking her head, she refused to look at him.

“Tell me,” he urged again, bringing his cheek against hers.

His closeness gave her the strength to swallow down the tight knot of tears in her throat and finally she was able to say, “I can't, Adam.”

“How long has it been since you lost her?”

“Ten years.” She drew in a bracing breath. “Elizabeth died of crib death. She wasn't quite three months old.”

“Oh, Maureen.”

It was all he said, yet it was enough for her to feel his sympathy. In fact, his stark response was far better than those she'd received directly after she'd lost Elizabeth. Many had tried to console her with medical explanations for her baby's death and then there'd been others who'd urged her to forget her lost child and have another to replace her. Maureen had wanted to scream that a child could never be replaced.

“I was still in college when it happened,” she found herself saying. “David was putting in long hours as an electrician's helper. And I was...well, I was determined to finish my master's. It was my last semester and I was studying for final exams. I had moved the baby's crib into the kitchen so I could watch her while I studied at the dining table. David came in later that night and found me sound asleep with my head on an open book. Elizabeth was...she wasn't breathing.”

“So your husband was still living with you at the time?”

She nodded, then slowly turned to face him. There was such a look of utter desolation on her face that Adam felt as if he'd been kicked in the chest by a wild horse.

“Yes, we were still married at the time. But he left a few days after Elizabeth's funeral. He...well, he believed I was selfish and negligent. He accused me of putting my career before my baby. He said if I'd been taking care of Elizabeth like a real mother instead
of sticking my nose in a damn textbook, she wouldn't have died.”

Adam's head reared back in total disbelief. “No,” he said quietly. “I can't believe that, Maureen. The man must have been crazy.”

Her gaze dropped to the floor between their feet. “Logically, I knew he was wrong. But emotionally, I already felt guilty about Elizabeth's death. David took pleasure in driving the guilt even deeper.”

Adam shook his head as he tried to fathom the heartbreak and loss Maureen must have suffered. How had she managed to hold up under it? he wondered.

“How could he have said such things? Anyone with any sense knows crib deaths are unexplainable. Even if you watched the baby every second of the day and night, the vigil still wouldn't have necessarily saved her life,” he reasoned.

“Like I said, logically, I understood all that. But I was so wounded and full of grief I had to blame someone, and I was the one who was taking care of her.”

“Is that why he left you? Because of the baby?”

Maureen tilted the picture away from her chest and stared down at the child she'd given birth to. In some ways, losing her seemed so long ago. Yet the pain was still as sharp and fresh as if it had happened yesterday.

“Elizabeth's death gave him a reason to turn his back on me.”

“He couldn't have loved you, Maureen. A real husband would've been there for you to lean on and he would've needed to lean on you. The man must have been a real bastard.”

“It was my fault for not having realized his true feelings about me before I married him,” she said with bitter resolution.

“Did you love him?” Adam had to ask.

She let out a weary sigh. “When I first started dating David, he showed me more attention than I'd ever had in my life. And I guess...I mistook his physical affection for real love.”

“But did you love him?” he repeated.

She glanced away from him. “I thought I did. I married him with hopes and plans for a family and a future. But that...didn't happen.”

She carried the picture over to a long cherry wood dresser and placed it in a bottom drawer. Adam picked up the baby quilt and rattle and crossed the room to her. “Do you want to put these things with the photo?” he asked.

She took the items from him, and Adam couldn't help but notice her fingers trembled as she absently traced the outline of a sleeping cat.

“I guess you must think I'm a pretty horrid mother,” she said huskily. “For putting my daughter's picture completely out of sight.”

He watched her fold the quilt into a small square and place it and the rattle in the same drawer with the photo.

“No. I think you loved her so much you can't bear to see her little face every day.”

That he understood so completely startled Maureen. Her gaze flew up to his and she studied his drawn features with wet, grateful eyes. “I did love her, Adam. More than my very life. After I lost my parents and grandmother, I had no family. I grew up not knowing what it was like to have a brother or
sister. A mommy or daddy. And I vowed I would someday have a family and children of my own. But...”

She stopped and shrugged as though she had come to accept the deal fate had handed her. “Losing Elizabeth and my husband was the final blow. The whole thing proved it wasn't meant for me to have anyone.”

Adam could no longer bear it. He tugged her into his arms. Thankfully, she didn't resist, and he drew her cheek against his shoulder and stroked his fingers gently down the middle of her back.

“You're still young enough, Maureen. You could find a husband and have more children.”

“So I could lose them, too?” she asked, her brittle voice muffled by the folds of his T-shirt. “Just like I lost my mother and father? My granny? My husband and baby?” She shook her head back and forth against his shoulder. “No. I can't go through that sort of grief again. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life.”

So now he knew, Adam thought sadly. She'd not only lost her daughter, she'd also been betrayed by a man whom she'd undoubtedly loved. The hurt had been too much for her to forget. And because he understood so completely, his heart ached for her. Everything inside him made him want to hug her fiercely to him, assure her that she wasn't put here on earth to be punished.

“Someday you're going to wake up and be sorry you feel that way, Maureen.”

She tilted her head back to look at him. “Like you? You're not sorry.”

Oh, yes, he was very sorry, he suddenly realized. He wished with every fiber of his being that he could
get past Susan's death. He wished he could open his heart and say, “I love you, Maureen. Be my wife. Bear my children.” But he couldn't. He'd learned life was too fragile, too unpredictable, to risk his heart a second time.

“I guess you're right, Maureen,” he said dismally.

She pulled away from him, carefully dabbed at her eyes and blinked back the remaining tears. “It's getting late and we still have several more boxes of things to put away. We're not getting anywhere like this.”

No. And they never would, Adam thought grimly. Maureen was too embittered to let herself love again. And he was simply too afraid. So what was he doing here with this woman? Why did he still ache to hold her, comfort her, love her?

Love her. Love her
. Had he already fallen in love with Maureen and he just didn't know it?

Adam wouldn't allow himself to answer that question.

Chapter Eight

A
dam dropped the telephone receiver on its cradle and leaned wearily back in his leather office chair. Nothing seemed to be going right anywhere.

A tool pusher on a rig in Bloomfield had suddenly quit without warning. An electrical fire had destroyed several generators and injured two men on another rig in Louisiana, and now an outraged landowner in Oklahoma was threatening their crew of seismograph workers with a shotgun to stay clear of his property. It didn't matter that the oil company had already paid the man a hefty right-of-way fee. He was determined to kill someone or see Sanders Gas and Exploration in court.

Rubbing the dull ache in his temples, Adam turned his chair toward the plate-glass wall overlooking the mountains. Black clouds were beginning to gather over the distant peaks for their daily afternoon shower.

As he absently watched the clouds grow darker, his
thoughts turned to Maureen. Not that she was ever really far from his mind. There was rarely a waking minute of the day he wasn't thinking about her and wondering what he going to do about his obsession with the woman.

And that's what it was, he thought crossly. An obsession, a fixation he couldn't get over.

Since the night he'd helped her move into her house, he'd seen her only briefly. She'd been buried in the lab during the day, and now that she was no longer staying on the Bar M, he had no chance of seeing her in the evenings.

Which was probably all for the best, he thought wearily. Since she'd told him about her baby, he couldn't stop aching for her. More than anything, he wanted her to be happy. But he didn't know how to help her. She'd already grieved for ten years. He was probably crazy to think he could put a stop to her sorrow.

A knock at the door interrupted his musing. Not bothering to pull his boots from the corner of the desk, he called, “Come in.”

“Are you busy, honey?”

Adam turned his head in time to see his mother entering the room. She was wearing a dress and her red hair was wound in an elaborate twist at the back of her head. She looked particularly beautiful, and in spite of his mood he couldn't help but smile at the sight of her.

“Hi, Mom. What are you doing in town? Shopping?”

She laughed and waved away his words. “Not hardly. The only place I usually shop in is the feed store and I can do that in a pair of jeans.”

He motioned toward her classy black dress. “So what are you up to? You and Dad got a hot date?”

She smiled impishly. “Something like that. Your father and I are going to fly down to El Paso this evening to meet with that oilman from Port Arthur. Wyatt's promised to take me dancing afterward.”

“That's nice.”

She walked over and leaned her hip against the edge of his desk. “Would you like to come with us?”

He glanced up at her. “No. You two don't need my company. Besides, I've had a rough day.”

“You look awful,” she said, her voice full of concern.

Frowning, Adam rose from his chair and walked over to the wide expanse of glass. “Thanks, Mom. That makes me feel much better.”

She sighed, but it was so low Adam didn't hear it. “Actually, I'm here with an invitation from your aunt Justine. She's giving Rose and Harlan an anniversary party Saturday night. It's their twenty-fifth.” “There's

“I may have to go out of town,” he said. “There's some trouble brewing with some lease land in Oklahoma. But I'll go if I'm here.”

“Good. I'll tell her to count you in if at all possible. Now about Maureen. Do you want to invite her, or shall I?”

He cut his mother a sharp glance. “Mother, we barely managed to get the woman to stick around for Miguel's birthday party. I seriously doubt she'd want to come to another of our family gatherings.”

“Nonsense,” Chloe said with a wave of her hand. “I'm sure she'll be glad for an excuse to get out of the house. Besides, some of Roy's young deputies might be there. And if her taste doesn't run to lawmen,
there'll be a few cowboys who might catch her eye.”

It was all Adam could do to keep from cursing a blue streak. “Why in hell can't you leave Maureen, alone, Mother? She doesn't want a man!”

Chloe's brows peaked with skepticism as she studied her son's moody face. “How do you know she doesn't want a man?”

“I just do,” he barked.

“Oh, I don't know why I bother with you,” she muttered. “You've always got a thorn in your side these days!”

“Where are you going?” Adam demanded as she started out the door.

Chloe peered at him from the open doorway. “I'm going down to the lab to give Maureen the invitation myself. It appears to be too much of a problem for you.”

“Damn it, just stay away from the lab! I'll ask Maureen about the party mself.”

“Well, I hope it doesn't put too much of a strain on you,” she retorted. Then before a grin could appear on her face, she quickly stepped into the hall and slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her chuckle.

When Adam walked into the lab a couple of hours later that evening, Maureen was studying a small portion of shale with her naked eye. The moment she realized he was in the room, she straightened to her full height and pushed her fist against the small of her back.

“Wouldn't a microscope tell you more?” he asked.

“Not always,” she said.

Since the night he helped her move, she hadn't
talked to him. She didn't know if he'd simply been busy with work or deliberately avoiding her. She was beginning to think he'd had second thoughts about her now that he knew about Elizabeth's death. Maybe he'd decided she really was a selfish career woman.

“I haven't seen you all week. I was starting to think you'd buried yourself in here.” he said.

“I've had a lot of tests to run,” she explained, but she wasn't being entirely truthful. She could have left the lab on several occasions, but each time she'd stopped herself.

Every moment she was in Adam's company, she knew she was losing a little bit more of her heart. She couldn't trust herself to see him every day, even though everything inside her wanted to be with him.

“Is your house the way you want it now?” he asked as his eyes took in the rich color of her brown eyes, the faint splash of scarlet across her cheekbones and the ruby red of her lips. A little more than two hours ago, he was agonizing over what to do about this woman. But now, oddly enough, his mother's innocent remark had ended his turmoil. He knew what he wanted and he'd decided what he had to do.

Maureen flexed her tired shoulders. “Almost.”

“And you like it?” he asked.

This week as she'd puttered around the rooms, hanging curtains and tinkering with decorations, Maureen had slowly come to the realization the house just wasn't the same without him in it. Yet she knew she couldn't let him know how she felt. He'd see her admission as a green light, and before she knew what was happening, she'd be in bed with him.

With a wry smile, she walked over to a metal chair at one end of a worktable and took a seat. “It's not
a home like the Bar M. But it's enough for me.” It had to be, she told herself.

Adam moved over to where she was sitting and rested his hip against the edge of the table. “I'm glad,” he said, and meant it. More than anything, he wanted her to be happy.

As Maureen studied his handsome profile, she could feel her heart begin to throb more rapidly. And she wondered how long it would be before she could look at this man without wanting him. Days? Months? Or would she never get over the incessant need to touch him, to be near him?

“What about your house?” she asked. “How much longer do the carpenters think they'll need?”

“Another week and I'll be able to move back in.”

Her brows arched with surprise. “Really? Those two men must really work fast.”

He watched her finger make an invisible line on the tabletop, and as he did he was suddenly remembering the feel of her hands against his face, the gentleness of her touch, the softness of her skin.

“I, uh, decided to take your advice and not do anything else to the house. It would've been a waste of time and money.”

He couldn't have shocked her more, and her lips parted as she stared at him. “Oh, Adam, my intentions were not to necessarily change your mind. It's your house. You should change it whatever way
you
want.”

Shrugging, he glanced away from her. “I don't know why the hell I was trying to make it feel like home. All I needed was a place to eat and sleep and change my clothes. And anyway, you were right. It
would take a wife and children to make it into a home like the Bar M.”

Just as it would take a husband and children to make her house into the home she'd always wanted, she thought sadly. But she wasn't a fool. Even if she was willing to risk her heart again, she knew this man wouldn't or couldn't give her the home she needed.

After several moments passed and she didn't make any sort of reply, he decided it was time to get to the point. He cleared his throat and folded his arms across his chest. “Actually,” he began, “the reason I'm here is to give you an invitation.”

“Oh? To what?”

“A party. Given by my aunt Justine. It's to celebrate Rose and Harlan's twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.”

She quickly shook her head. “I'm not a party person, Adam. And this sounds like another family gathering.”

“There'll be other people attending besides family members,” he assured her while trying not to think about the single lawmen and cowboys his mother had mentioned. He wasn't about to let one of them so much as glance at her sideways.

“Are you going?” she asked.

“Yes. Unless I have to travel to Oklahoma. Things are getting in a hell of a mess back there. The seismograph crew have been met with a double-barreled shotgun for the past three days they've tried to work.”

“Dear heaven, why not get the law to handle things?” she asked. She didn't want to think of Adam getting mixed up in a land-rights feud.

“I'm sure you know things like this can get held
up in court for months on end. I'd rather try to negotiate with the landowner myself. Usually when they see a company man traveling a long distance just to make an effort to deal with them in person, they back down.”

“I hope you're right,” she said gravely. “Otherwise, you might be having shotgun pellets dug out of you.”

He chuckled, then as his gaze came to rest on her face, his expression sobered. “Well, you'd probably be relieved to get rid of me.”

I
don't have you,
she wanted to point out to him. But she kept the words inside her with all the rest of the pain. “I wouldn't like seeing you hurt. Breaking your ankle was bad enough.”

Without warning, he moved closer and cupped his hand around her chin. It was all Maureen could do not to close her eyes and simply savor the feel of his work-roughened skin against her.

“I've been thinking a lot about all the things you told me the other night. About your daughter. And your ex-husâ”

“I try not to think about them, Adam. Please, let's not go into it again,” she whispered hoarsely.

He took her by the hand and drew her to her feet. Once she was standing and his gaze was locked with hers, he said, “I'm not going to go into it again, Maureen. I understand the memories cause you pain and I don't want to be the cause of that. I
only
...I want to know if you believe I'd be like him. Do you think I could hurt you the way he did?”

The last thing she expected from him was such a forthright question, and for long moments she could only stare at him in stunned fascination. “Adam,”
she finally murmured, “why are you asking me such a thing? It doesn't matter what I believe. Why can't you just let things between us die a natural death?”

His hands came up to frame her face. Gently, his thumbs pressed into her cheeks as he studied her troubled eyes. “Because Iâ”

The rest of his sentence was left unspoken as the door to the lab opened and a secretary noisily cleared her throat. Choking back a curse, he stepped away from Maureen and turned to face the other woman.

“Is something wrong, Laura?”

She glanced regretfully at her boss. “I'm afraid so, sir. You're needed on the telephone immediately.”

He nodded. “I'll be right there.”

The young woman scurried out of the lab. At the same time, Maureen crossed the room and began to shuffle through a stack of test reports.

Adam quickly went to her and took hold of her forearm. She glanced at him warily, then back at her work. “Shouldn't you be going?” she asked.

BOOK: Millionaire on Her Doorstep

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