Authors: Faye Kellerman
“What condition?” Andrick said. “I’m sucking on a peppermint.”
“A peppermint?”
“Yeah, a fucking peppermint,” Andrick said. “Keeps my breath fresh…. Look, Detective, I’ve got two more years before I cash in twenty-five big ones and a nice-size pension. We’ve got the condo in Murietta Hot Springs, two daughters in college, I need that extra ten percent to make ends meet, you know what I’m saying? So if you want to talk about the case, that’s all right by me. If not, find the door.”
Medino came back to his desk. Andrick cleared his throat. Decker understood the hint. He said, “Where’s Myra Steele now?”
“Originally, they took her to Hollywood Pres, but her mom moved her to County because she didn’t have any insurance.”
Decker said, “Mind if I have a word with Myra?”
“Be my guest,” Andrick said. “She should be there at least another week. Why all the interest in this case?”
Decker explained his involvement.
“And you think your scuzzbag friend is innocent?”
“I’m withholding judgment.”
Andrick sat back in his chair and wiped his damp forehead with a handkerchief. He felt much better, was breathing easier. “So what are you gonna do with Myra Steele? Grill her until she retracts what she said?”
Decker said, “Hell no! If the sucker did it, I’ll kill him for doing that to her and making an ass out of me. But for starters, I’d like to know who’s pimping her.”
“You won’t get the name from her.”
“I can try.”
“Sure,” Andrick said. “Try.” He gave Decker a wary half-smile. “And if you get it from her, you’ll give it to me, right?”
“Absolutely,” Decker said. “I’m not playing hot dog.”
“Just so you and I understand each other.”
“It’s your collar, Detective,” Decker said. “I don’t dance
with anyone else’s woman,’ cause I get pissed when someone dances with mine. I’d like to copy the file.”
“Go ahead,” Andrick said.
When Decker returned, Andrick said, “Your partner’s on the line.”
Decker picked up the phone and said, “What’s up?”
“I got a call from Delferno,” Marge said. “One of his pals says Sally looks like one of his kids. Mother’s from Sacramento. She should be down maybe one, two in the morning. Kid was grabbed by Dad about six months ago.”
“How old would her kid be?”
“About two and a half.”
“Sally’s not two and a half.”
“Delferno faxed me the picture of the missing kid—kid’s name is Heather Miller. She’s supposed to be small for her age, and there’s a
strong
resemblance.”
“Okay,” Decker said. “I just hope Mama doesn’t go into a major depression if it’s not hers.”
“Well, that’s a chance she’s willing to take.”
“I’ll be at the station in a couple of hours,” Decker said. “Would you call Sophi Rawlings for me?”
“Already did, Pete. Where’re you going now?”
“Gonna cruise for sugar.”
Marge said, “Wear gloves.”
It was nearly midnight, but Sunset Boulevard was still teeming with bugs. Decker found three streetwalkers idling at a corner gas station next to a Mideastern vender selling huge stuffed animals at ridiculously low prices. The toys were imports, and no doubt didn’t meet American safety standards. A month ago a batch had been seized at Foothill, all the teddy bears and doggies stuffed with flammable rags that combusted spontaneously in hot weather.
Decker parked on a side street and approached the streetwalkers. The first whore might have been a plump, freckled-faced farm girl, except she was wearing fake
leopard-skin hot pants, a matching halter, and knee-high black boots. The other two were black. One had dyed her hair platinum blond and painted her clawish fingernails high-gloss black. The other girl had a short Afro, a fur choker around her neck, and seven earrings in each ear. As Decker neared, the one with the earrings nudged the one with the claws, and the trio began to disperse. Decker sprinted to them and yelled, “Wait!” The girls stopped. Fingernails spoke up:
“We’re goin’.”
“I suppose you ladies have some ID on you.”
The girls began to reach into their purses.
Decker said, “Don’t bother. I believe you. I’m a very trusting fellow.”
The girls eyed each other. A black-and-white pulled up at the corner. Decker showed his badge and waved the cruiser away.
“Say what, Detective,” said Fingernails. She was gazing at her feet. Her spiked heels gave her at least six inches of height. A wonder she didn’t need a balancing rod to walk.
“What’s your name, honey?” Decker asked.
“Anything you want,” Fingernails answered. The other hookers laughed.
Decker’s eyes bore into hers. “What’s your name?” he asked again.
“Amanda.”
Decker stared at her for another minute. He asked, “And how long have you and your girlfriends worked the area?”
“You gonna bust us, or what?” asked the plump white girl.
Decker said, “That all depends.”
“On what?” asked Amanda.
Decker said, “On if you cooperate.”
“Watchu want?” Amanda asked.
Decker smiled.
Amanda said, “C’mon. I’ll do you in the back alley.”
“Do what?”
“Do what you want,” Amanda said.
“What do I want?” Decker said.
Amanda’s eyes clouded. “I ain’t saying no more.”
“I’m not here for badge pussy, Amanda,” Decker said.
“Then what do you want?” asked the white one.
“A little help.”
The girls were silent.
Decker said, “Question number one: Any of you know a lady named Myra Steele?”
More silence.
“Aw, c’mon, girls,” Decker said. “Where’s your sense of civic duty? Besides, the longer I hang around, the more I drive away your business.”
“Why you hassling us?” said the one with the earrings.
“’Cause you guys are the first streetwalkers I saw,” Decker said. “And I love leopard skin.” He eyed the white girl. “What’s your name?”
“Chrissie,” she said.
“Chrissie,” Decker repeated. “Glad to know you, Chrissie. You know Myra Steele?”
“I might.”
“You know she was beat up pretty badly?” Decker asked.
“I mighta heard something like that.”
“Oh, and what else might you have heard?” Decker said.
“Don’t say no more,” Amanda whispered.
“You have something to share with us, Amanda?” Decker said.
“I didn’t say nothing,” Amanda answered.
“You know, Amanda, I hang around, it’s your pockets that are goin’ empty. Your man gets pissed off at you, not me. See, I’ve got time. I’m paid to do this.”
“Bully for you,” said Amanda.
Decker asked the girl with the earrings, “What’s your name?”
“Maynona,” she said.
“Maynona’s a nice name. Can I call you May for short?” Decker asked.
“I don’t give a shit.”
“Good,” Decker said. “I’ll call you May. Did you know Myra Steele, May?”
“Maybe.”
“And maybe you know she’s still in the hospital?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe you also know who her pimp might be?”
“Maybe I don’t.”
“But maybe you do.”
Maynona looked off to her right, stared at stuffed pink elephants and black-and-white pandas.
Chrissie said, “I think she was an independent since Letwoine got blowed away.”
“Nice try,” Decker said. “But you know and I know that no one is an independent here.”
“Well, maybe she wasn’t no independent,” Chrissie said. She unknotted her halter strap and tied it tighter. The increased pressure flattened her round breasts and made them pop out of the sides of the garment. She gave Decker a sultry smile.
He remained stone-faced and said, “So if Myra Steele wasn’t an independent, who was she working for?”
The girls were silent.
Decker took out a pack of cigarettes and offered one to each girl. He lit their smokes, then lit one for himself.
“There some new foreign businessmen around here that scare you gals?” he inquired.
“Maybe,” Amanda said.
“Do they have names?”
“You ain’t getting them from me,” Amanda said.
Decker opened his jacket. He said, “See that gun?”
The girls didn’t answer.
“It’s a nine-millimeter automatic,” he said. “We dicks are
finally beginning to get real, you know what I’m talking about. Mr. Foreign Businessman starts hassling you, you tell me. Mr. Beretta and I will take him out to lunch.”
“Shit, that’s puny against a sawed-off,” Amanda said.
“You know, we can carry shotguns, too,” Decker said. “But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Who’s Myra’s man?”
“I ain’t’ tellin’ you nothin’, ’cause I happen to know that the dude’s crazier than shit,” Amanda said.
Decker smiled, wondering, How crazy is
shit
? He said, “Mr. Foreign Businessman of the Hispanic persuasion?”
A faint flicker passed through Amanda’s eyes. Decker went on.
“Happen to be spookin’ you with some weirdo hexes?”
“My man’s not Myra’s,” Amanda said defiantly.
“Sure about that?” Decker said.
“Yes.”
“Does the name Conquistador ring a bell?”
Amanda sneered. “He’s a wimp.”
“El Cid?”
“Wimpo
dos
,” Amanda replied.
“What can you tell me about Myra’s man?”
The whore drew her finger across her lips.
“Think about it, honey,” Decker said. “Give me something, or maybe your man will hear things you don’t want him to hear.”
“I’m real scared,” Amanda said. But it was false bravado.
“Myra’s man is suppose to have a tattoo on the back of his hand,” Maynona volunteered. “Between his thumb and forefinger.”
Chrissie spoke up. “A heart with a ribbon on it.”
Decker nodded. A Mariel tattoo—traditionally, it meant an executioner. The guy was bad news. “Anything else?” he said.
“Swear to God, that’s all I know,” May said. “We keep away from them.”
Decker believed her eyes if not her words.
“This is all stupid,” Amanda said. “They said it was her john that cut her, not her pimp.” She bit her lip, then said, “You know something different than that?”
Decker said, “Yeah, what about this bad-assed john? Any of you know him?”
The girls didn’t answer, but exchanged knowing looks.
“Anyone of you ever service him?” Decker asked.
“Why you so interested in Myra Steele?” Chrissie asked. She scratched her cheek, still pocked with acne. “And her john?”
“Because rumor has it that this mean ole trick has been bailed out,” Decker said. “Now we’ve got a pissed-off pimp and a psycho john running the streets. Shit, ladies, I’d hate to see one of you end up like Myra.”
Maynona raised her eyebrows. Decker caught it.
“Ever service the man, May?” he asked.
She didn’t answer.
“Boy, you gals are kind of quiet tonight,” Decker said. “You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna fill in the blanks. I’m gonna say that all three of you have serviced him, ’cause this trick likes ladies of the evening, and he’s been cruising the area for years.”
“You can think what you want,” said Amanda. Her eyes had returned to the ground.
“You ever see to his needs?” Decker asked.
She didn’t answer.
“Did he ever get freaky with you?”
She stayed silent.
“Well, if you’re going to be like that, just maybe I’ll drop the word that you gals dig servicing John Q. Psycho.”
“You don’t scare me, Mr. Hot Shit Detective,” said Amanda.
“I’m not trying to, Amanda.”
“Yes, you are, and it ain’t working,” Amanda said. “I ain’t afraid of Myra’s john. Dude’s a lame-o.”
“A lame-o?” Decker said. “You mean he’s stupid?”
“No,” Maynona said. “He limps. That’s ’cause he only got one leg.”
Amanda said, “He tries anything, I’ll bust his head open…like Myra did.”
“That so?” Decker said.
“Yeah,” Amanda said. “That’s so. Besides, Mr. Lame-o Big Dick never done nothin’ bad to me.”
“Big Dick?” Decker asked.
“The dude is
hung
,” Amanda said. “I mean to say he packs a wallop.” She laughed. “But he always paid for what he took.”
Decker said, “Was Big Dick kinky?”
“Not with me,” Amanda answered.
“Sadistic?”
“Nope. Not once. I don’t take shit from no one.”
“I heard the guy’s a vet,” Decker said. “Knows how to shoot, knows how to handle knives.”
There was a moment of silence. Amanda broke it.
“Don’t bother me none,” she said, her voice less convincing. “My old man takes good care of me.”
Decker said, “I bet he does, as long as you make your quota. But when things get a little slow, I bet he’s not too understanding.”
Amanda didn’t answer.
Decker paused, then said, “So the gimp never tossed you, eh?”
“Not even a little bit.” Amanda smiled. “I was surprised when I heard it was Lame-o Big Dick. He never seemed like the type.” She sighed and added, “But I been wrong before.”
The woman looked
composed from afar, but as Hollander got close, he noticed a spasm in her right lower eyelid. Her face was long, her complexion mottled with two pronounced bags under washed-out blue eyes. Her lips seemed almost bloodless, her tawny hair hung limply to her shoulders. At her side was a man in his fifties, medium build with gray wavy hair and brown eyes. Stubble was sprinkled over his fleshy cheeks and large chin. Must be the bounty hunter, Hollander thought. He escorted them into the squad room.
“Charlie Benko,” the man said, holding out his hand.
Hollander shook hands and smiled at the woman. She had tears in her eyes. Hollander said, “You people want some coffee? You must be tired after flying in so late.”
“Not for me, thanks,” said Benko. “I’m already tanked up with caffeine. Dotty?”
The woman shook her head.
“Tea? Hot cocoa, maybe, Mrs. Miller?” Hollander offered.
“Nothing, thank you,” she whispered.
“Have a seat,” Hollander said.
“By the way, Detective,” Benko said, “her name isn’t Miller. She remarried. It’s Palmer.”
“Sorry about that,” Hollander said. “Uh, you explained her the procedure—”
“Yeah, she knows she can’t just waltz in there and take the kid. Paperwork right, Dotty?” Benko patted her hand. “We’re hopeful on this one. The bastard ex was spotted in the area a couple of times before. Unfortunately, I still can’t find him, but it doesn’t mean the sunnabitch isn’t hiding out somewhere.”
“What’s his name?” Hollander asked.
“Douglas Miller,” Benko said. He opened his briefcase and pulled out a picture. “Appreciate it if you’d pass it around. Bastard’s wanted for back alimony on their other three kids.”
Hollander stared at the picture and said, “He just took one of the kids?”
“Yeah, the other kids are older and wouldn’t go near the sunnabitch,” Benko said. He threw his arm around Dotty. “Thank God for small favors, huh?”
Dotty started to smile, but her face crumpled. She buried her face in her hands.
“C’mon, Dotty.” Benko hugged her. “Everything’ll be all right, honey, just take my word for it.”
Dotty continued to cry. Benko looked up at Hollander and shrugged. He said, “When can we see the kid?”
“I’m waiting for Detective Dunn. She’s the one who’ll accompany you to the foster home.”
Dotty dried her eyes on the back of her sleeve and asked, “Is she okay?”
“The kid? Oh yeah,” said Hollander. “Just fine.”
“I mean she wasn’t beaten up?” Dotty asked.
“No. Not at all.”
“Doug drinks,” Dotty said. “Don’t have no control when he’s drunk. That’s why I left him.”
“Smart move, Dotty,” Benko said. “Smart move.”
Dotty said, “Oh God, I want my little girl back!” She
broke into sobs. “He did it on purpose. He don’t love her, he just did it to spite me, the bastard.”
“We’ll get him,” Benko said. “I’ll find him, Dotty. I always do. Something’ll come up.”
Hollander said, “How’d he snatch her?”
Benko said, “Just never returned with her on visiting day. Some asshole judge demanded the sunnabitch have parental visiting rights. Well, like I said, the other three wouldn’t go with him. But a little two-year-old, what does she know? Friggin’ judge. Letting a sunnabitch like him have visiting rights. Dotty tried to tell her about Doug, but the bitch wouldn’t listen.”
Hollander continued to stare at the photo. He asked, “How recent is this picture?”
Benko said, “Why? You know the sunnabitch?” He smiled at Dotty. “See? I told you something would come up. These guys are sharp. Where you know him from, Detective?”
“I don’t know him under the name Doug Miller,” Hollander said. “But the sucker looks familiar. Let me stew on it.”
“Sure, take your time, take your time!” Benko checked his watch, then began to pace. “I got loads of pictures. I’ll start showing them around here again, since you say he looks familiar. When’s the girl coming?”
“Who?” asked Hollander.
“The girl who’s taking us to the foster home.”
Hollander smiled. “Detective Dunn is five-eleven, one-sixty. She’s female, but she ain’t no girl. She should be along any moment.” Still focused on the picture, Hollander shook his head.
“Keep looking, Detective,” Benko said. “It’ll come to you.”
“What did your ex do for a living, Mrs. Palmer?”
Benko said, “I don’t know what he’s doing now, but he was a roofer when Dotty was married to him, right?”
Dotty nodded yes.
“Well, we’ve got lots of laborers living in this area,” Hol
lander said. “He’d blend in without a second glance. Ah, the detective cometh.”
Marge gave a wave. They stood as Hollander made all the necessary introductions. Marge held Dotty’s hand and said, “I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve suffered. I really hope we’ve found your little girl. But I’ll tell you again what I told you over the phone, the child we found looks younger than two and a half.”
“Heather’s little. She looks young,” Dotty managed to say. She brushed her hair away from her face.
“I hope she is your Heather,” Marge said. “Has Sergeant Decker arrived yet?”
Hollander said, “He was called in on an emergency code seven. You can buzz him if you need him.”
Marge shook her head no and smiled inwardly. Code seven meant a meal break, but when they used it in front of civilians, it meant getting tied up with something personal. In Pete’s case, he’d probably gone home to catch up on sleep. No matter. Let the guy rest.
Hollander said, “Detective Dunn, take a look at this photo for me.”
Marge studied Douglas Miller.
“He look familiar?” Hollander asked.
“Yeah, let me think, let me think,” Marge said. She examined the picture, then handed it back to Hollander. “I’m blocking. It’ll probably come to me when I’m showering.” Marge turned to Dotty. “Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she answered.
It was nearly three in the morning when they reached Sophi Rawlings’s home. Sophi was dressed in a short-sleeved white cotton shift and a lightweight shawl. She was standing outside the door as Marge pulled the unmarked up to the curve. A thin layer of mist lay suspended in the early morning air. As they came out of the car, Dotty’s breathing became audible.
“I’m Detective Dunn, Ms. Rawlings,” Marge said. “I spoke to you on the phone. This is Mrs. Palmer, the possible mother of Baby Sally, and this is Mr. Benko. He accompanied her down from the Bay area.”
“Come on in,” Sophi said. “The girl’s asleep, but I left a night-light on next to the crib.”
“Let’s go,” Marge said.
Dotty grabbed Benko’s shoulder for support.
“Can you walk okay, Dotty?” Marge asked.
Dotty tried to answer yes, but the word wouldn’t come. She nodded instead. Marge took her hand anyway. Flanked by Marge and Benko, Dotty slowly made her way to the nursery, the walk seemingly interminable.
The toddler roomed with three other children. The first was a black girl of four. She was sleeping atop her covers, dressed in Snoopy babydolls. Opposite her were two steel cots. Two girls, four and six, slept in undershirts and under-pants. They both had long, thick hair that covered most of their backs. The crib was in the far end of the room. Benko led Dotty over to it. Building up courage, Dotty finally peered inside. Her eyes immediately watered, her fingertips brushed the curls off of the sleeping toddler’s forehead.
Dotty stared at the baby for a long time. Benko cleared his throat, but Dotty didn’t respond.
After a few minutes of silence, Sophi whispered, “It’s not your daughter, is it Mrs. Palmer?”
Dotty paused, then shook her head no.
“Take your time,” Benko said. “Don’t rush it. Take another look—”
“It’s not her, Charlie,” Dotty said. “Oh, Charlie, she’s missing Heather’s dimples, and Heather had a little mole at the tip of her left ear. And Heather has thinner eyebrows…and longer lashes…and—oh, Charlie, what am I going to
do
!”
Dotty’s eyelids fluttered, and she pitched forward. Marge caught her by the shoulders, and she and Benko carried her
limp body into the living room and placed her on an old plaid sofa.
Sophi said, “I’ll go get some water.”
“And a towel, too, please,” Marge said. She muttered “shit” under her breath. “Where do you go from here?” she said to Benko.
“I’m gonna keep searching.” He poked his finger in Marge’s shoulder. “You keep thinking who that sunnabitch looks like, lady.”
Marge knocked his finger away. “Don’t get in my face, kiddo.”
Benko held his hands up. “Jesus! Sorry.”
Marge sighed. “S’right. It’s been a long night.”
Sophi came back with the water, salts, and a moist towel. She broke open the capsule and held it under Dotty’s nose. Dotty stirred, then opened her eyes.
“You’re fine, baby,” Sophi said. “Just fine.” Gently, she dabbed Dotty’s forehead.
“Hi, Dotty,” Benko said. “You did just great, honey.”
“It wasn’t her,” Dotty moaned.
“I’m sorry, Dotty,” Benko said. “I’m truly sorry. I thought maybe we had a chance…. I’m sorry. This is just a little setback. We’ll find the sunnabitch and your Heather.”
“Oh, God,” Dotty wailed.
“Take it easy, honey,” Sophi said. “Drink this.” She raised the cup of water to her lips. Dotty sipped slowly at first, then gulped the water down.
“I’ve got to get out of here,” Dotty whispered.
Benko said, “You gotta rest a minute, Dotty.”
“
Please
, Charlie,” she begged. “Please get me out of here!”
“Okay, okay,” Benko said. “I just don’t want you to overexert yourself, you know? C’mon, Dot. I’ll help you stand up.”
“Thank you very much, Ms. Rawlings,” Marge said. “I appreciate your help.”
“You tell Detective Decker that I’m taking Baby Sally to
the doctor’s tomorrow,” Sophi said. “And I’ll get what he asked for.”
“I’ll do that,” Marge said. “Let me help you, Mrs. Palmer. Lean on me.”
Benko whispered into Marge’s ear, “Please, Detective. Please! Find me that sunnabitch!”
Decker woke up at six, let the dog out, showered, shaved, dressed, then said an abbreviated version of
Shacharit
—the morning prayers. He’d once recited the entire service and had even wore phylacteries, but lately that seemed like an awful lot of bother for very little spiritual enhancement. So he settled on saying the
Shema
—the essence of Judaism—and eighteen verses of silent devotion. When he finished, he put down his
siddur
, then studied himself in the mirror. He patted his flat stomach, flexed his biceps. The body wasn’t the problem, it was the face. Those bags! It made him look like the big four-oh had stepped on his face years before. A pisser, since he just entered his fifth decade of life a year ago.
What would Rina think?
Shit.
Gorgeous Rina. Gorgeous
young
Rina. Not yet thirty, she could still pass for a high school student if she dressed simply. As Decker stared at his face, he knew he looked old enough to be her father.
“Fuck it,” he said.
He went to the kitchen, slipped four pieces of bread into the toaster, and pulled out a quart of milk. The kitchen window faced his back acreage—flat dirt fields that disappeared into mountainside. The morning summer sun was strong, pouring its thick honey into the crags and rocky crevices. The window was open, the air was dry and dusty. As he drank from the carton, he heard Ginger yapping excitedly. The barking was followed by the steady blows of a
hammer, and the noise was coming from his property. From his barn.
“What the hell?” Decker said. He went out the back door and stopped short at the entrance to the barn. Abel was in the middle of the room, kneeling on his prosthesis, ripping up a rotted plank of flooring. At his side were a tool chest and a box of nails.
Ginger barked at the sight of a stranger. Decker quieted the dog and said, “Abel, what are you doing?”
“Your barn and stable are a stack of cards, Doc,” Abel said. “Floorboards warped, the stalls are coming apart at the seams. The beams weren’t fit properly. Y’all put ’em up yourself?”
“As a matter of fact, I did,” Decker said.
“Getting sloppy, Doc.”
“Abel—”
“And your barn wall is Swiss cheese,” Abel said. “Full of bullet holes. Shoot-out time at the O.K. Corral, Pete?”
Decker ignored the remark. “How’d you even
get
here?”
Abel pointed to a motorcycle leaning against the wall.
“You biked here?”
“No, Doc. I carried it on my shoulders.”
“Don’t be cute,” Decker said. He petted Ginger and walked over to Abel, stood over him. “Let me see your driver’s license.”
Abel looked up.
“What?”
“Let me see your driver’s license.”
“You’re shittin’ me.”
“The license?”
Abel hesitated, then reached in his pocket and threw the license on the floor. Decker picked it up, looked at it, and handed it back to him. Abel pocketed the card.
He said, “You know, I once had a good friend, but he turned into a cop.”
“Yeah, well, yesterday, you didn’t call the friend, you called the cop.”
“Well, maybe it was my mistake to call him at all.”
Neither one spoke for a moment. Abel continued tugging up on the floorboard.
“Your ceiling don’t look that hot, either,” he said. “You can see daylight through the rafters.”
“You’re going to roof my barn, Abe?”
“All I have to do is screw my leg into a scaffold jack, and a tornado couldn’t dislodge me.”
“Abe, you don’t have to do this….”
“Yes, I do, Doc. Yes, I do indeed have to do this. It serves a right fine purpose for me.”
“I never expected you to pay me back.”
“Well, you see, Pete,” Abel said, “that’s where you and I differ. I always intended on payin’ you back in one fashion or another. Ain’t got no money on me. But I sure as hell have time.”
“Let me ask you this, Abe,” Decker said. “What if I find proof-positive evidence that you did what you’re accused of doing?”
“What if?”
Decker chewed the corner of his mustache. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and kneaded it. He said, “I’ll nail you, buddy. I swear to God, I’ll nail you.”