Midnight Moon: A Paranormal Werewolf Romance (Roadside Angels Motorcycle Club Book 2) (10 page)

“He’s a danger to you because of who you are to me.”

She reached for her glass and took a healthy swallow, and then asked, “What do you mean?  Just tell me, please?  I don’t like to speculate if it’s not part of my job.”

There was nothing for it but to tell her the whole story of his lineage, his hybridity, and the reason he thought Lancaster was responsible for all the trouble in town.  As he spoke, he could feel her withdrawing.  She became more remote, although she didn’t move a muscle, and by the time he stopped speaking, the woman who sat across from him was a stranger again.

“Is that everything?” she inquired, when he stopped speaking.  He nodded, and she inhaled deeply and finished her drink.  “And you claim that I’m your mate?”

“It’s a fact, Tamara,” he answered, hurt by her use of the word ‘claim’, though he understood her skepticism.

“I see.”

He knew she saw nothing but an animal.  In her mind, he was a creature of fear and loathing.  She stood up, and turned to the door.

“I need to get back to work,” she said.  Lex knew she wasn’t going to write about what he had just told her.  She was distancing herself from him. 

“Dinner will be ready soon.”  He felt helpless in the face of her new aloofness.  When she paused on her way to the door, he sensed she had another question.  He was right.

“So...Patrick is…”

“A Kodiak bear, yes.”  There was no sense in keeping any of it from her now.

“Who else knows about...about all this?”

It was killing him that she couldn’t even bring herself to say the words, she refused to name him and his kind.  Swallowing the pain, he answered her.

“The chief and the mayor.  Bob Rose also knew.”

“I see.”  He could hear the fear in her voice now, and the hurt.  She cleared her throat.  “Thanks for the drink.  It was delicious.”  Her calm words belied the swirling emotions that he could feel emanating off her in waves.

Lex needed to touch her, to ease the confused emotions at war inside her, but when he reached for her, she avoided his hand.  Her withdrawal was a knife wound to his gut.  His mate was refusing him.  What else could he expect?  She was only human, after all, and nothing in her very short life had prepared her for a revelation like the one he had just laid on her.

He watched her walk away from him, and his keen ears picked up the snick of the lock on her door.  His wolf howled, and Lex resisted the urge to smash his fists into the wall.  He needed to deal with the turbulent emotions that had him by the throat.  He had to go for a run.  Nothing else could help now.  He went to his room, and then turned around and headed for the kitchen where he whistled for the dogs.  When they came to him, he rubbed their heads briefly, communicating his desire that they guard his mate for him till he returned.  He watched as they lay down on either side of her door, and then he went out.  Bear saw him on his way out and said,

“Be careful out there.”  Nothing more.  His friend knew when he needed space.  Time enough for counsel later.

Lex stepped out into warm air and let the shift begin, dissolving clothing as it changed flesh and bone, until he was the beast that roamed inside him.  He knew how he looked to the untrained, ignorant eye.  He was a super-sized, pure-white wolf with piercing blue eyes that seemed to see right through his prey.  He was a hunter, a predator, fearsome and beautiful.  His lines were sleek and powerful, and even as he began to run, he felt the potency of his dual heritage surge through him.  He scented the air, assuring himself that he was the only shifter about before dark.  Heading for the first copse of scrub that were scattered around his property, he ran, pushing himself hard, stretching his long legs and his spine. 

The tension in his limbs eased as he ran, but the pain in his heart grew.  The man in the wolf was devastated by the possibility that their mate would not accept him for who he was.  He had known it was possible.  There had been a few wolves whose mates rejected them, and he had seen them go over the edge of insanity.  Those who remained within wolf society had willingly given themselves over to eternal sleep at the hands of caring relatives.  Those who left had been a danger to all, and to themselves, until they were killed.  If Tamara did not accept him as he was, he would never be Prime, because he could not live as the man he was without her.  Now he understood why death was preferable.  If the pain he was feeling was any indication, the mating bond was already at work in him, and would increase, no matter what Tamara’s decision was.  Which meant, if she continued to refuse him, he was doomed.

He ran the extended lines of his property, hard and fast, and after an hour, he stopped by a clear pond to drink.  He lay down, panting after his exertions, his tongue lolling out, but he knew he could run some more.  His muscles did not burn enough, his breathing was not strained enough, his heart was not numb enough.  The wolf wanted to mark its mate.  The man wanted to love her.  Both needed her, but she was not theirs, nor would she be unless she chose to be.  Lex would not force her hand.  The wolf whined in frustration, and stood up.  Time to run again.

Chapter 6

“Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not.”
~ Ana Monnar

By the time Lex returned to the house, darkness was already falling, and the air was beginning, at last, to cool.  The setting sun was merely a suggestion of pinks and oranges on the far horizon.  He was lathered in sweat, his white fur stained where he had lain when he rested.  He found Bear waiting for him on the wide back porch, two beers in his big fist.

“You’ve been gone a while,” was his first comment as he handed Lex, now back in human form, one of them.  “Take a load off.  You look wiped.”

Lex accepted the offering and slumped to the top step leading into the yard.  He leaned his back against one of the posts that supported the railing and chugged the beer.

“Want another?” Bear asked, offering the second bottle.

“Where’s yours?” Lex asked, emptying the bottle in his hand.

“I’ve had mine.”  Bear handed him the second bottle, and leaned back in the chair.  He watched Lex for a moment, then continued, “Ready to talk about it?”

Lex stared into the distance, the cold beer doing little to cool the thoughts that had kept him running for more than three hours.  He could smell his mate, even outside.  Her scent was driving him wild, because it told him she was as confused as she had been before, and she was hurting.  He knew he couldn’t do anything to help her unless she asked him to, and he feared she never would. 

“I’ve talked to Tamara,” he finally answered.  “I’m afraid she’s going to leave.”

Bear nodded, remaining silent, as though he knew his friend wasn’t done talking.  Lex never talked much, under normal circumstances, and he became even more reticent when he was feeling most vulnerable.  But this whole mating situation was new to him, and even though Bear was not a wolf, at least he’d had a mate for a time, and understood more about the process than his friend.  Finally, when it seemed his friend needed a push, Bear asked, “What did you tell her?”

Lex sighed.  “Earlier, I took her with me to get the dogs.  I said I didn’t want her to be alone on the ranch, that she wasn’t safe alone, and she asked why.  I had no choice but to explain about Lancaster.  She is pretty sharp.  I didn’t need to put it into words, about him, but when she got to thinking, she wanted to know why he was a danger to her as he didn’t know her.  I had to tell her about me.”

This time, Bear did not break the silence. 

“She wouldn’t let me touch her, Bear.  She ridiculed the idea, then told me I was joking, then shied away from me when I tried to touch her.”  Lex’s voice was filled with pain.  “I could feel her withdrawing from me.  I could taste her fear.”

He drained the bottle and put it next to the other one.  Bear watched him, but kept his own counsel.  Now was not the time to speak. 

“I thought I was prepared.  I mean, I know it can happen.  I know mates, especially human ones, don’t have to accept us.  I’ve seen it a time or two.”

“She’s a tough little thing,” Bear said, “and she cares about you.  Give her time, my friend.  Be patient with her.”

Lex looked at his old friend, and shook his head.  “I used to think I was a patient man,” he said with a bitter laugh.  “I guess I was wrong.”

Bear looked away for a moment to the dark sky, and then looked back at him, his gaze steady.  “Loving isn’t easy, Lex.”

“Loving?”  Is that why his chest felt as though he was being sliced and diced? Because he loved someone who didn’t love him in return?  It seemed like a really short time to speak of love.  Not only was he usually a patient man, but he was also never impulsive.  This felt right, though.  The word seemed to fit the way he was feeling.  And it helped explain the depth of his hurt.

“You doubt it?”  Bear’s question made him realize he had spoken the word aloud.

“I was inclined to question it...well, I was, till just now.”  He stood up, picking up the empty bottles.  “I’d better get a move on.”  Before he turned away he asked, “Did the boys call in?” 

“Yeah.  All’s quiet.  They should be here soon.  Hungry, as always.”

Lex laughed, grateful to his friend for trying to lighten his mood.  “I’ll see you in a bit, then.  We can at least relax for a spell.”

After he disposed of the empties, he went quickly to his room, noting the still locked door of his mate’s room.  Trying not to let himself sink too deeply into despair, he took a long shower. letting first hot, then cold water sluice over his sore muscles, soothing and cooling and relaxing him.  He changed into comfortable sweats and a muscle tee shirt and went in search of his fellow bikers.  He did not look at his mate’s room, and vigorously avoided thinking about her.  Maybe some time with the boys would make his present situation more bearable.

He heard them before he saw them, and when he walked into the kitchen, Bear was putting the last bowl on the wide table.  The boys were helping themselves to mashed potatoes, steak, and gravy, and of course, salad.  Bear saw him enter the room and offered him a plate. 

“Help yourself,” he said, and turned back to deal with his own meal.

Lex sat with the others, his plate piled high with salad, and listened as they recounted their day.  The two grieving families were in understandably low spirits.  Ginnie’s mother was resigned to her brother’s death.  Although she had loved him, she knew he was a difficult man, and she feared he had done something to provoke the attack that killed him. 

“Poor Ginnie,” Jeff said, “having to handle two grieving people at the same time.  She’s working harder at the diner these days, because Bret is concentrating on making the funeral arrangements for Bob.”  He paused, chewing thoughtfully, before adding, with no expression on his face, “If I ever find the bastard who did this, I’ll make him pay, I swear!”

Lex heard the same kind of protectiveness in Jeff’s voice that he supposed was in his when the conversation turned to Tamara’s safety.  Only yesterday he had been wondering why he was keeping her a secret from his men.  Today, he was glad he had.  What kind of a fool would he look like if she rejected him, after he announced to the world that she was his mate? 

“Are you still sweet on her, Jeff?” Bear asked. 

The young shifter smiled.  “It’s way more than that, but she’s a feisty one.  And besides, Lex here keeps getting in the way of progress.”

Everyone laughed, and Lex said, “Someone has to make you mind your manners, boy!” 

More laughter, and Lex let the camaraderie wash over him, and soothe his spirits.  He knew Tamara was awake, and he assumed Bear had already taken her a tray.  He would ask, after the boys left.  Instead, they talked about the upcoming vintage bike event that they had all pre-registered for.  It was a chance for them to network with other owners of vintage bikes, as well as to show off their own machines.  It was also the chance to search out other vintage bikes that might be on sale.  These bikes cost a pretty penny, but some of these men, Lex knew, were well off enough to be able to spring for another bike to add to their collection.  He knew Jeff wanted to buy one for Ginnie, who loved to ride.

“If this madness in town doesn’t settle down, I’m not leaving Ginnie alone.”  Jeff had clearly already thought this through, and his mind was made up.  Although Lex sometimes gave him a hard time over the way he teased Ginnie, he knew Jeff was certain she was his mate, and Lex would never stand in the way of their mating.  But the power was still Ginnie’s, as it was always the female’s to wield.  Lex himself was even now experiencing it, and could understand Jeff’s frustration.

“So, are we agreed that we’ll forego the event this year if things don’t settle down in time in town?”

The men agreed, and Lex promised to get word to the absent members so they could be part of the vote.  There had to be consensus, even if the vote wasn’t unanimous.  Eventually, the guys left, a couple of them planning to do a little racing with some friends, after Bear made them clean up after themselves, and then he and Lex went to their quarters.  It was early enough still, but Lex was at loose ends.  Until Tamara called him, he could not approach her.  He didn’t want to frighten her any more than she already was, so even though he was dying to go to her, he made himself go to his den, where he sat and let the television watch him while his thoughts wandered. 

Eventually, he went to bed, relieved that there were no more calls.  Not that it meant anything.  Lancaster could be even now be hurting his next victim.  But as there was little he could do to stop it, since there was no apparent pattern to the killings, Lex tried to relax enough to get some sleep.  When it became clear that he wouldn’t be getting any sleep, he got up again and slipped on sweat pants over his naked legs.  He wasn’t sure if Tamara would get up in the night again, and he didn’t want to startle her by walking around in the nude.  The house was silent as he stepped out of his room...except for what sounded like someone talking.  Going in the direction of the sound on stealthy feet, he stopped when he recognized Tamara’s voice.  Where in the world was she?  And who was she talking to?  Bear?

He put his head round the corner, and what he saw drew a sad smile from him.  Tamara was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of her door, the light from inside the room casting her face in shadow.  Ridge and Wolf were on either side of her, lying on their haunches and looking up into her face, as though they understood every word she uttered.  Wolf’s head was on her knee, and she played with the dog’s ears, in between petting Ridge, as she talked.

“I’ll bet Lex made you two poor things sit outside my door to guard me.  As if he thinks I could run away.  I don’t even know where I am!” 

Lex could hear the strain in her voice, the threat of tears ever present, and it tore at him.  He hated it that he had been the one to cause his confident mate to be reduced to talking to animals.  Eventually, he was sure she would see the irony of it, as he was like them, as much as he was like her.  Maybe more so.  He stayed where he was, eavesdropping.

“He’s my first lover,” she confessed, pushing her hair back from her face.  “Do you understand how it felt to be told that the...the person I’ve given my virginity to isn’t even human?”  She sighed deeply.  “I didn’t even know what to say to him.”

She cupped Wolf’s whiskered jaws in her hand and smiled ruefully.  “I guess he’s a lot more your style than mine, isn’t he, Wolf?”  When the dog licked her face, obeying a small push from Lex, she chuckled.  “I don’t usually kiss girls,” she said, “but I guess I’ll make an exception in your case, as you’re letting me bend your ear with my troubles.”

Leaning against the door jamb, she continued her monologue, as yet unaware of her silent audience. 

“I think I’m falling for him, you know?  A guy who isn’t a guy.  Who’s more than a guy.  Who’s not even human, for goodness sake!”  Another sigh.  “How the hell do I manage to get myself into these pickles?  First Garth, now Lex.  What was I thinking?”  She reached out to stroke the ridge of hair on Ridge’s back, and continued to think aloud.  “He’s not at all like you two,” she said.  “For one thing, he’s stubborn and bossy.  Typical alpha male, I guess, always thinking his way is the only right way.”

Lex smiled at her words, and at her next statement, his breath caught in his lungs.  “But he’s so sexy!  I don’t have a lot of experience -- heck, I don’t have any -- but he makes my toes curl every time he kisses me.  That’s the kind of thing you only read about in romance novels.  I like the way his body looks, and the way he makes me feel.  Like I’m the only woman he wants to be with.” 

She paused, looking in the direction where Lex was still hidden, and asked, “What am I supposed to do about this?  How am I supposed to respond to the idea that a different species of being says I’m his mate?  I wasn’t even thinking about anything more than getting a boyfriend and becoming a full woman, for crying out loud, and suddenly I’m someone’s mate?”

The dogs didn’t answer, of course.  But they suddenly sensed Lex’s presence, probably because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check, and they could feel his wolf rising.  They both looked to where he was standing, rose, and walked over to him, wagging their tails.  His cover blown, he went back with them, and stood against the wall, so as not to tower over her, waiting to hear what she would say next.  When she said nothing, and kept her head lowered, he asked,