Mia the Meek (8 page)

“Whoa, dude, our table’s like, totally on fire,” Jake remarked.

The table went up like a pile of kindling and the room soon filled with a cloud of black smoke. The sprinklers on the ceiling kicked in and the fire alarm blared. Students piled out of the room in a panic, practically climbing on top of each other to escape the fumes and stream of water shooting from the ceiling. I guess all of those years of fire drills, marching single file out of the hypothetical flames, didn’t do us any good. When a real fire started, it was every man for himself.

Sister Donovan grabbed the fire extinguisher off the wall. Unleashing a spray of white powder across our table, she doused the flames shooting into the air. As the last of the students escaped, she yelled, “Who is responsible for this?”

Feeling like the guilty party, I shouted over the clanging of the alarm, “I’m so sorry, Sister Donovan!”

“It’s my fault, Sister Donovan,” Tim yelled over me. “I should’ve watched Mia a little closer—I knew she was doing the experiment wrong.”

“
I
was doing it wrong? At least I was doing something—you were just standing there talking!”

“At least I didn’t try to burn down the school!”

“I wouldn’t have burned down the school if you weren’t distracting me!”

“I wouldn’t have distracted you if you—”

“Hold it!” Sister Donovan interrupted. “I’m going to run to the office to tell Mrs. Jensen to turn off that blasted alarm. Maybe we can catch the firemen before they head here with their sirens blaring!”

As Sister Donovan scurried out the door, Tim and I stood alone in the room, staring at the aftermath of chaos. A layer of white residue from the fire extinguisher covered the floor and the water spraying down from the sprinklers was turning all the folders and papers into a soggy mess.

Abruptly, the alarm and sprinklers stopped and an eerie silence suddenly descended on us. Without speaking, Tim and I walked around the room, turning off Bunsen burners and picking up lab stools and papers strewn about the floor. I pushed my wet hair out of my face and silently groaned when I looked at our table. The top was charred black and would be impossible to repair. As I looked miserably at Tim, he burst out in laughter.

“I don’t see what you could possibly find funny at this moment,” I said.

“If I’d known you were going to start a fire, I would’ve brought some marshmallows,” he said.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“Are you sure they call you Mia the Meek? To me, you seem more like Mia the Mighty—faster than a flying retainer, able to burn down science rooms in a single bound. It’s a bird, it’s a plane. No, it’s Mia the Mighty!” Tim started to laugh even harder.

I glared at him, but then the absurdity of the situation overwhelmed me and I burst out in laughter too. The harder I tried to stop, the harder I laughed, and the more I laughed, the more Tim laughed. Soon, tears were streaming down both of our faces and every time one of us tried to stop, we looked at each other and started laughing even harder.

“I’m glad you find this so amusing,” a somber Sister Donovan said as she entered the room. “Do you realize your mistake caused the entire school to exit the building? You will both get an F for this lab and I expect you to come in after school every day this week to work off the cost of a new lab table.”

I tried to give Sister Donovan my most humble, apologetic face, but I made eye contact with Tim and erupted in laughter again.

“Should I make it two weeks of cleaning the lab?” Sister Donovan said.

I bit the inside of my mouth until I tasted blood. Without looking at Tim, I said in my most respectful voice, “I’m so sorry, Sister Donovan. I don’t know why we’re laughing. It must be the fumes from the fire.”

“I accept your apology. You are dismissed.” Sister Donovan walked over to her desk and pulled out a giant aspirin bottle and her rosary. Pouring a small handful of aspirin into her mouth, she stared out the window and began praying. We humbly left the science room with our heads bowed down in shame, but when we reached the hallway, we burst into laughter again.

Tim said, “I think I’m going to start calling you my ‘lab partner in crime’.”

“I can be Thelma and you can be Louise,” I said.

“How about Bonnie and Clyde?”

“As long as I get to be Bonnie.”

Tim put his arm around my shoulder.

“Louis, I think this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

“What’s that from?” I asked.

“That’s the last line from the movie
Casablanca
. Don’t tell me you’ve never seen it.”

“No. What’s it about?” I said.

“It’s only the best movie ever made! It stars Humphrey Bogart and—”

“Oh, it’s an old movie. I hate old movies,” I said.

“You hate old movies?” Tim stammered. “How is that possible?”

“They’re full of dead people,” I said. “I like movies that have this amazing new technology called color.”

“You have got to be kidding. Let me see if I have time to explain how wrong you are before next period starts.”

I rolled my eyes. “I can hardly wait.”

T
he rest of the week was dedicated to fire safety in science class. By the time the bell rang Friday morning, I was exhausted from stopping, dropping, and rolling across the science room floor. On the way to English class, Lisa pointed to one of my campaign posters.

“I can’t believe it! Another poster ruined. I’m running out of money buying new poster boards.”

I looked at the poster with “Only Mia Can Prevent Science Fires” scribbled on it.

“Lisa,” I said, “the election is Monday. I think it’s a little too late for damage control. It doesn’t matter anyway—I’m not going to win.”

“Stop saying that! You have a really good chance of winning this election. A lot of people don’t like Cassie. They’re just too afraid to tell her.”

“Well, they’re not going to vote for me. I’m a nobody.”

“Wouldn’t it feel good to finally come out of the corner you’ve been hiding in for so many years and actually stand up for something?” Lisa snapped. “I thought you wanted to change, but I guess you’re happy being Mia the Meek.”

“So, I’m tired of being called Mia the Meek. That doesn’t mean I can beat Cassie in the election.”

Lisa smiled. “Yes it does. I have a plan.”

“Oh great, another plan.”

“You ready to go clean the science lab?” Tim asked, popping a handful of M&M’s in his mouth. He offered me the bag. “Want some?”

“Sure,” I replied, taking a single M&M.

“How can you take just one? You’re supposed to eat M&M’s in handfuls, not one at a time.”

“I believe strongly that less is more.”

“That must be true, considering you’re going out with Jake tonight,” Tim replied, finishing off the bag of candy. “You know, when God was throwing brains down on earth, Jake was holding an umbrella. I, on the other hand was holding a basket. And not only do I have brains, but I’m also blessed with good looks.”

“You’re right—dark and handsome.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. When it’s dark, you look handsome. Anyway, Jake more than makes up for his lack of brains with his incredible good looks.”

“Oh, so you
do
think he’s stupid.”

“That’s not what I said.” I sighed. “Look, do you think there’s any way we can spend our last afternoon together without you trying to pick a fight with me?”

Tim held up his hand in a Boy Scout salute.

“I’ll be nice—Scout’s honor.”

Tim held the dust pan as I swept the floor. “So, what do you think of being an organ donor?” “Tim, you gave me your Scout’s honor.” “Well, the Scout thing doesn’t really apply to me because I never was a Boy Scout. I got kicked out after the first meeting because I disagreed with the troop leader over which badge we should earn first. I wanted to learn how to tie knots, and he wanted to teach us how to start a fire by rubbing sticks together. I mean, hadn’t he ever heard of matches?”

“All right,” I said, “even you can’t argue with me on this topic. Of course I’d be an organ donor.”

“Are you crazy?” Tim said. “Not me.”

“What could you possibly find wrong with being an organ donor?”

“What if you were an organ donor and were in an accident. You had a chance of living, but it was a long shot. So, the doctors don’t even take a chance at saving you because they don’t want to risk losing your organs. In the end, the doctors remove them, some other person gets to live, and you’re toast.”

“I hardly think a doctor is going to rip out my heart if I have a chance at living,” I said, putting the broom away.

“It happens. I saw it on TV. There’s no way anyone’s getting my organs.”

“You would deny another person’s chance at life just because you saw some stupid TV show?”

“It wasn’t stupid,” Tim said as he started washing test tubes. After a moment of silence, he asked, “So, who do you think is the smartest
Scooby Doo
character?”

I grabbed the test tubes from him and placed them in the rack to dry.

“Velma, of course.”

“No way! Scooby Doo is a dog and he can
talk
—he’s got to be pretty smart to do that!”

“But Velma always has a plan.”

“But Scooby and Shaggy always solve the mystery!”

Sister Donovan walked into the room.

“Are you two still arguing? I will pray to St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes, that you find some common ground in the future. But for now, you may leave early because I’ve got plans tonight.”

“Thanks, Sister Donovan.” Tim grabbed his backpack and took off in a sprint. “Bet I can beat you home, Mia!”

“Does everything have to be a competition with you?” I groaned, grabbing my backpack and running after him.

After dinner, I took a shower and then tried on every outfit I had. I finally decided on some jeans and a cinched V-neck top that showed off what little cleavage I had. After swirling on some flavored Chapstick, I descended the stairs.

My dad snapped a picture.

“I can’t believe my little girl is going out on her first date.”

“Dad, this isn’t the prom. I’m just meeting a guy at the movies.”

“I want you to know: if Jake does anything inappropriate, not only can I call his parents, but I can flunk him in English class,” my mom warned.