Mia Found (Starting Fires Book 3) (15 page)

“
Shh,” he said. “Let’s get some sleep. Another time.”

I huffed, but he kissed me long and hard, taking my disappointment away. “I promise,” he said as he pulled back.

He left me in his bed as he went to the bathroom. The faucet turned on, and I wondered if he was taking care of himself. After a few minutes passed, I knew he was and sighed.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

HAVING PAUL IN MY life was good for creativity. My inspiration for paintings flowed. Nearly every day I’d find a new drive or desire to have the brush in my hand.

I was beginning to notice the difference in my work. Sometimes there wasn’t a woman in them at all, and if she was, a secret smile curled her lips. The colors and brush strokes oozed positivity instead of their usual loneliness.

Catherine had sold two of my paintings and bought two more. It was a surreal experience. Somewhere, someone had my painting hanging on their wall.

Paul and I were happy, stuck in this romantic puppy love. Even though we’d been seeing each other for weeks, I hadn’t had the opportunity to stay at his house again. Not because I didn’t want to, or because
he
didn’t want me to. There just wasn’t time.

He was busy. I was busy. We made time for each other in the small hours here and there. It was never enough, but I knew in a few days it would change.

My graduation was this weekend. After that, college wouldn’t impede on our time. My parents were throwing me a party and I’d invited Paul to come, but he was nervous. He didn’t say it, but I saw it in his eyes whenever I brought it up. Purposefully, I’d told him little about my parents. On paper they seemed intimidating and over the top, but in reality they weren’t. He didn’t need any more reason to feel anxious.

Paul had just gotten off work and came straight to my house. We were sitting on my couch watching television, the volume low as we filled each other in on our day.

“
I have to go to Florida next weekend,” he told me.

My heart raced with excitement wondering if I’d get to join him, but then I felt the stiffness in his limbs. “I can’t go with you?” I asked.

“
Not this time,” he said. “But I’ll have to go back in a few weeks and stay for longer.” He turned into me, and grabbed my hand, toying with my fingers. “I want you to come with me then. If you can.”

I smiled. “I can. Absolutely.” Anytime he was near me, I couldn’t stop touching him. My hand always found its way to his stomach, his hair, his arms. Today was no different and while he looked at me, I brushed his beautiful hair back. His eyes closed, relishing the caress. “Are you still coming to my graduation party?” I asked, hoping my gentle ministrations would ease his nerves.

His response was a tiny nod of his head.

“
I’m going,” Fontenot said, walking into my kitchen. A too small towel was wrapped around his waist, and I scowled at him. Could he at least
try
to be decent in front of me?

Fiona’s parents weren’t nearly as involved in her life as mine were. When my mother found out that they weren’t celebrating this milestone with her, she insisted Fiona get to share my party. It sucked, especially since we were barely speaking to each other.

So that meant Fontenot was going to be there.

But it also meant Nicole would be.

I hadn’t told Fiona that and didn’t plan to. I’d invited Nicole before I even knew Fiona was freeloading on my celebration. She’d have to suck it up. Nicole would be there whether she wanted her to be or not.

Paul ignored Fontenot and sat up straighter on the couch. “Do I need to bring anything?” he asked.

“
No,” I said. “They should have everything.”

“
Are you sure? This is the first time I’m meeting them.”

I smiled, loving that he wanted to impress them.

“
No need to be worried,” Fontenot said. “Helen and Bill are laid back. Hell, if they liked me, they’ll fucking love you.”

My eyes narrowed. Why did he have to do that? He was just being a jerk. My parents barely knew him. They’d met once and it was only in passing.

Usually, Paul did a good job of pretending Fontenot wasn’t even there, but today I saw the frustration in his eyes.

“
Do you want to go to my room?” I whispered to him.

He nodded and began following me, but stopped when Fontenot said, “Hold up.”

I looked at him expectantly, but he waved Paul over. With a sigh Paul went to him, putting his hand in Fontenot’s outstretched one. I saw the tension in their arms, but couldn’t hear the low words Fontenot whispered to him.

“
Cut it out,” I snapped. “Like he needs any of your amazing ‘wisdom.’ ”

Fontenot chuckled, but let him go. “Oooiee. Mamma Mia’s getting feisty. I like that.” He winked when Paul’s back was turned. One day Paul was going to lose his cool. So far, he’d been a good sport and took Fontenot’s words with a grain of salt, but soon, he’d snap. I only hoped I’d get to be there.

When we were alone in my room, I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a squeeze. “I’m sorry,” I said. “Hopefully we won’t have to deal with him for much longer. I’m sure Fiona and I will be moving out soon.”

“
I think he
wants
me to punch him in the face. I’m trying really hard to be decent here, but I don’t know how much more of his shit I can take.”

It was understandable and I hated that he had to suffer him if he wanted to spend time with me. “What did he say to you?”

“
You really wanna know?”

“
Well…” I hesitated. “I’m not sure.”

He chuckled. “Just that I needed to hold on to you and that you’re a good girl.”

“
Really?”
That’s
what he wanted to impart? He was such a douche.

“
Yeah. Like I didn’t already know that. Sorry, Mia, but your ex is an ass.”

“
I know. It’s embarrassing.”

He leaned down and sweetly brushed his nose against mine. As he was pulling away he saw my newest painting displayed on the easel. “Wow. This one is good.”

“
Really? You think so?”

“
Yes, Mia.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Get used to people paying you compliments.”

It
was
one of my favorites. In one corner was a big tree. Browns. Oranges. Reds. It bled off the canvas and danced across the top. White space took up the middle and another tree blossomed in the opposite bottom corner. When I’d finished it, I knew I’d be giving it to my brother. He loved trees and found something so wholesome about them.

Paul sat on my bed, and pulled me into his lap. “I have to go soon,” he said. “The office is handling a merger and I need to go back to take care of some things.”

His hands rested on my thighs and gave me a squeeze. We still hadn’t had sex, and with every one of his intimate touches my body flamed. It was burning with desire for him and I didn’t know how much longer I could wait.

My mouth went to his neck and gave him soft kisses. “How much time do we have?”

His sigh was soft and aching. “Not long,” he said, bringing my back to the mattress. His hands searched my body, touching and squeezing where he could.

He had a willpower I admired, but also loathed. Our intimate relationship hadn’t progressed since that one night in his bed. He hadn’t even tried anything more. It was always me who pushed. Me who took things further. I knew he wanted to. The evidence was everywhere. His labored breaths, his hard arousal, his greedy hands.

But he always stopped me.

When he felt my hands moving to his pants, he pulled his hips away and sat up. “I have to go,” he said.

“
Paul,” I said—only his name but full of agitation.

“
I know. I know,” he said. “I’m sorry, Pretty, but I gotta get back to the office.”

Pretty.
He knew using that pet name would soften me. “When will I see you again?” I asked.

“
Soon,” he chuckled. “You can stay with me all weekend if you want.”

“
Promise,” I demanded, sitting up in the bed. That proposition was too good to be true.

“
I promise.” He leaned over and kissed me. “I’ll be working late Friday night, but I’m all yours for the rest.”

My graduation would take up most of our time, but it was something. “Okay,” I said. “Call me later.”

He nodded and left me on the bed, hot, needy, and frustrated.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

THE NIGHT BEFORE MY graduation should have been filled with nerves and excitement. Instead, I walked around Paul’s townhome in a lonely gloom, no one but Ferdinand to keep me company. Paul was working late, and even though I knew he would be, I’d assumed he’d be home by 8 or maybe 9.

Currently it was 11 p.m. and I hadn’t heard a word from him in hours. His last text message was sent at 8:47 p.m.
I’ll be home as soon as I can. I’m sorry. Just tonight. It’ll be better tomorrow and Sunday. Promise.

While I waited for him, I watched TV, took a shower, and gathered all of my clothes for the next day. When all that was finished, I still needed something to do, so Ferdinand and I went for a late walk.

It was quiet in his complex, the occasional smoker venturing out to their patio as we strolled. A large duck pond sat in the middle of the townhouses and I led Ferdinand over to it. Needing a moment, I sat on the bench and listened to Ferdinand’s husky breathing. His head darted this way and that as new and exciting sounds opened up to him.

“
What do you think, boy?” I asked, needing someone to talk to. “Why does your daddy keep pushing me away?” It might have been unfair. Maybe I was being selfish.

Ferdinand turned when he heard my voice, resting his head against my knee. His big eyes looked up at me as I gave his head a rub. “Does he have someone else hiding away?” I’d meant it as a joke, smiling even as I said it, but as soon as the words left my mouth, doubt settled in my stomach.

“
He doesn’t, does he?” I asked, and Ferdinand made a huff, annoyed that I’d stopped rubbing him. “What am I doing? You’re a dog. You don’t know. I mean, no offense.” I sighed. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

My throat felt tight the entire walk back, only growing tighter when I saw Paul leaned against his car, talking on his phone. Being as quiet as I could, Ferdinand and I slowly approached.

“
Because,” he said to whoever was on the other end. He sounded annoyed and put off. “I don’t have time for this right now. I’m tired. I’ve been at work since 7 a.m. and I just wanna go inside and sleep, okay?” There was a pause, another person talking. I wanted so badly to hear what they were saying.

“
I’ve got to be there next week, we can handle—”

Whoever they were cut him off and he rubbed a frustrated hand through his hair. Could there really be a woman in Florida? Could he be talking to her right now? Even as I thought it, I knew the answer. No. He didn’t. I was being irrational.

Instead of lurking in the shadows like a creep and letting the doubt and confusion consume me, I took a deep breath and put on a smile. My Paul was finally home.

“
Hey,” I said as Ferdinand and I made our way over.

With a grin he walked towards me. “I gotta go,” he said into the phone. “We’ll talk later.” He stuffed it into his pocket and wrapped me in a hug. “What are you doing out here so late?”

“
Ferdinand and I were bored and went for a walk.”

He brushed my hair back from my face and kissed me firmly. This wasn’t a hello kiss. This was something else. Too much passion and longing were in his lips. He pulled back and kissed me again. Softer this time.

“
Is everything okay?” I asked.

“
Yeah,” he said. “I’m just tired. Sorry about tonight. I didn’t know I was going to be stuck there for so long.”

“
It’s all right,” I said, unable to make him feel guilty, especially since he looked so worn out. “You look like you could use some sleep.”

“
Yes.” He sighed. “I’m exhausted.”

As soon as we made it indoors, he went upstairs and started the shower. I made sure all the lights were off before I went up, too. After my pajamas were on, I lay on his bed and eyed his desk. In the top drawer, pushed into the back and hidden under papers, was a picture of his ex-girlfriend. I wondered if it was still there. My insecurity nagged me, feeding me lies.
Maybe there’s someone else. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to be intimate with you.

I had to shut it up. Deep down, I knew what I would find when I opened that drawer. With the water still going, I quietly made my way over and pulled it open. Delicately, trying not to disturb anything, I searched for the picture.