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Authors: Emma Darcy

Merry Christmas (Mills & Boon Vintage 90s Modern) (8 page)

BOOK: Merry Christmas (Mills & Boon Vintage 90s Modern)
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“You know what would be really good?”
“Tell me.” Safer to invite than to guess.
She hesitated a moment, then seemed to pick her way carefully as she said, “Uncle Nick is going to invite you to spend the Christmas holidays with us at Pearl Beach. It’s on the Central Coast, about two hours from here. Can you come, Merry?”
Christmas with her daughter. She wouldn’t let anything get in the way of having that joy. She smiled. “Yes. I’d love to.”
“You’ll be in the same house with us,” Kimberly said with satisfaction. “It’s right on the beach, so you’ll like it.”
“I’m sure I will.”
“And Ms. Pearce won’t be there.”
Meredith made no comment. The Machiavellian glint in her daughter’s eyes was disquietening. It was a relief when she grinned and her expression changed to mischievous conspiracy.
“It would be really good if we could get Uncle Nick to marry you instead of her...wouldn’t it!”
CHAPTER NINE
T
HEY strolled along Pearl Beach in the darkening twilight—man, woman, child—and Meredith let herself pretend they were together in the idyllic sense. After all, it didn’t matter what she dreamed as long as neither Nick nor Kimberly knew.
It was their first night here, the first of nine nights they would spend in this beautiful place with no one else to please but the three of them. The three of them for Christmas. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. Tonight was simply for the pleasure of feeling their normal lives were left behind in Sydney and this was the start of a special time.
For her it was, anyway.
This was her family...her child...and the father of her child.
After these holidays...but she wouldn’t think about what might happen then. Better to treasure every moment she had with the only two people who were especially dear to her.
Although Nick had brought provisions, now stacked away in the kitchen of the holiday house, they’d gone to the take-away shop in the village and dined on hamburgers and chips, just like any other family who didn’t want to bother with cooking after a long, busy day. The walk home along the beach was Kimberly’s decision. Meredith suspected it was part of her daughter’s plot to promote romantic situations between her and Nick.
She skipped ahead of them, dancing around the scalloped edges of dying waves, still very much a child, perhaps enjoying the fact that her parents were following her, watching her antics, caring about her. Not that Nick knew he was her father, but being her legal guardian was more or less the same. Meredith wondered what he was thinking... feeling.
He was walking beside her, as they’d walked so long ago, sand squelching under their feet, the splash of waves slapping onto the shore, whooshing up and being sucked back, the underlying thrum of the sea in constant motion, a breeze flicking their hair and teasing their nostrils with the fresh smell of salt.
She could feel the heat of his body, almost touching hers. His strong maleness stirred an acute awareness of her femininity and the need to have it complemented. They had once been perfect together. The memory clung, arousing desires she hugged to herself, secretly wishing they could be expressed.
It was strange. The thought of Rachel Pearce had tormented her all week, yet here...maybe it was the sense of distance or the magic of the night... the woman who belonged to Nick’s city life just didn’t seem real. Only the three of them were real....walking together... listening to the same sounds, all their senses alive to a different world.
“Look at the stars! There are so many!” Kimberly remarked in awe.
“No pollution dimming our view of them,” Nick commented.
“That’s so unromantic, Uncle Nick.”
“Simple truth.”
Kimberly huffed her exasperation. None of her matchmaking efforts had borne any fruit so far. Meredith found them intensely embarrassing and Nick pretended he didn’t notice the hints and manoeuvrings.
“We’re almost home,” Kimberly pointed out.
“So we are,” Nick agreed dryly.
Their holiday home was a rambling old weather board house with verandas running around all four sides of it. Built before any council regulations came into force, it faced directly onto the beach with no reserve in front of it. The foundation pylons were high, ensuring the body of the house remained above shifting sand dunes. Quite a steep flight of steps led up to the veranda overlooking the sea.
“I think I’ll go straight to bed,” Kimberly announced. “I’m really tired out and I want to get up early tomorrow.”
“Bed sounds a good idea,” Nick tossed back at her.
She rounded on him. “Not for you, Uncle Nick. It’s too early for you.” Most emphatic.
“Aren’t I allowed to be tired?” he teased.
“You always say you need to wind down first,” Kimberly sternly reminded him. “It’d be good for you to have a nightcap before going to bed.”
“Mmmh...” Noncommittal.
“One of those Irish coffees you sometimes make,” Kimberly suggested enthusiastically. “You could take it out to the veranda and watch the stars and listen to the sea and really wind down.”
“That certainly should be relaxing,” he mused.
“And Merry could relax with you. She’s been busy, too, getting all the flowers organised for Christmas before coming away. You’d like an Irish coffee, Merry.”
Not a question. This was pure and simple manipulation.
There was a laugh in Nick’s voice as he turned to her and asked, “Would you care to join me in a nightcap on the veranda, Meredith, counting the stars and being lulled by the sound of the sea until we’re ready to fall asleep?”
The light tone made it sound harmless. Why not? she thought, wanting to indulge in her private pretence a little while longer. “I’d enjoy that,” she answered, smiling to show she understood there was nothing personal in it on his part. It was no more than an agreeable way of ending the evening.
“That’s settled then,” Kimberly declared with gleeful satisfaction. She literally pranced up the beach toward the house, apparently re-energised. There was no sign whatsoever of being so tired she had to go to bed.
 
Nick slowly expelled the breath he’d been holding. At last some time alone with her! No woman had ever shielded herself from him so determinedly and consistently as Meredith Palmer. He’d never felt so intrigued nor frustrated in any other person’s company. At least tonight he had the chance to get her to unwind with him.
Thanks to Kimberly, the little minx, prodding and plotting to push them into rearranging their lives to give her what she wanted in the most convenient way possible. Her motivations stuck out a mile. One day he would have to teach her about subtlety. With her too obvious schemes she’d been driving Meredith away from him not toward him, as well as forcing him into maintaining a laid-back attitude to counter any feeling of being trapped in an untenable situation.
Now that Kimberly had gone on ahead he decided to tackle the problem so it wouldn’t continue to be a running issue. “It’s only natural, you know, for her to see us getting together as a neat solution,” he said casually.
A perceptible rise in tension. “I’m sorry. It must make things so awkward for you.”
“I can ride it. Kimberly’s a good kid. She usually sees sense in the end.”
An apprehensive look. “Please don’t think I’m encouraging her in this...this fantasy.”
“Meredith, it’s very plain to me you’re not,” he said dryly.
“I never meant to make trouble for anyone.”
He found the anxiety in her voice painful. “You aren’t,” he quickly assured her. “Please stop worrying.”
No relief flashed at him. The silence as they walked on was heavy. He tried to think of what other assurance he could give to ease her concerns. More than anything he needed her to open up to him. Then he’d have something to work with.
“It’s easy for you to say that.” Her voice was quiet, not accusing yet strained with inner torment. “You have the power to take Kimberly away from me again if it gets too much for you.”
The shock of what had been playing on her mind halted him. She stepped ahead. His hand automatically lifted, clasping her shoulder to halt her, too. “You can’t think I’d be so heartless!” The words burst from him in horror. He wasn’t aware of his fingers digging into her flesh in reflexive recoil from her view of him.
She stood still, absolutely still for several seconds, long enough for him to recollect himself and realise she was holding her breath, frightened to move. He hastily loosened his grip, sliding his hand to her upper arm as he strode forward and wheeled to face her, compelled to dispel her fears.
“Meredith...” Her eyes were unfocused, unseeing, staring straight through him. He grasped her other arm, tempted to shake her, barely restraining the turbulence she stirred in him. “Meredith...”
“What do I know of you... of the man you are now?” Her voice sounded eerily hollow.
An uneasy feeling crawled down Nick’s spine. What did she mean...
now?
Had they met in some other life? He shook off the wild idea. Be damned if he was going to get befuddled over supernatural stuff again! This was now and he had to get through to her.
“I’m the same man who came to you ten days ago, wanting to find a way to reunite you and your daughter,” he stated vehemently.
Her gaze suddenly sharpened, fastening on his with blazing intensity. “Why? For her sake or yours? It couldn’t be mine. I’m a stranger to you. And I don’t know what the end is.”
The agony of doubt in her voice hit him hard. She had shown him, shown both him and Kimberly where she was coming from, and he hadn’t answered her need to know where they were going to. A woman without any legal right to her child, afraid of being cut off again...it sickened his soul that she’d been in such torment while he and Kimberly breezed on with their lives, including her as they wished.
“It wasn’t for my sake, Meredith. I came for Kimberly, for a child who wanted to meet her real mother. I didn’t know the end then and I don’t know it now. It’s what you and she decide.”
Rejection of his claim twisted across her face. “You know I have no control over this. It all depends on your generosity.”
He dropped his grasp on her arms to cup her face, to hold it still, to force her to look into his eyes and see his sincerity. “Then take it from me. I’m prepared to be generous,”
“Why?” came the anguished whisper.
“Because I care.”
Her eyes searched his in tortured uncertainty. “Care...for me?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to say she moved him as no other woman ever had but he knew it wasn’t an appropriate answer at this raw moment. She needed reassurance, a sense of security. Very gently he fanned a finger across her cheek and smiled a soft appeal.
“Is it so impossible for you to believe that I can feel compassion for the loss you’ve felt? To want you to know what you should have known as a mother?”
Her lashes swept down. Her throat moved in a convulsive swallow. He sensed her struggle to come to terms with what he’d said. The breeze flicked tendrils of her long hair across the back of his hand. He couldn’t resist tucking them back behind her ear. She didn’t seem to notice.
“It was good of you to invite me here with you,” she said stiltedly, as though pushing the words out, reciting them as a grateful and well-mannered guest might. “I’ll try not to be a...a burden on you.”
The sense of displacement that haunted her twisted his heart. “Meredith...just be yourself,” he implored, trying to instil some confidence in the beautiful person she was. “Enjoy this Christmas.” He hoped it would go some way to making up for all the empty Christmases she’d had.
She bit her bottom lip. Her shoulders rose and fell as she inhaled deeply and expelled the long breath. Her lashes slowly lifted. Tears glistened in her eyes. “Is it only for Christmas?” she asked huskily.
He didn’t know what she meant. He frowned, trying to follow her thoughts. “I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your life, Meredith,” he said, genuinely wanting her to be happy, distressed that he’d. inadvertently given her cause for tears.
“No. You said ... Kimberly wanted her real mother for Christmas.”
“And you thought...” Horror at his blind insensitivity struck him again. “Oh, hell! It might have started like that, Meredith, but I honestly see it going on for the rest of your lives.”
The tears spilled down her cheeks.
He couldn’t bear it. He wrapped her in his arms and hugged her to him, wanting to comfort, wanting to impress on her that the terrible loneliness she had known was over. The silent weeping broke into convulsive sobs, her body trembling as she fought to stifle them.
“It’s all right,” he murmured, stroking her hair, easing her head onto his shoulder. “You’ve held too much in for too long. It’s all right to cry.”
The stiffness collapsed. She sagged against him as though suddenly released from unbearable strain and the weeping was deep and uncontrolled.
Nick ached for her, hating the burden she’d carried around in her mind. The urge kept surging through him to tell her she’d come home now and there was nothing more to worry about. He’d take care of her. He’d take care of everything for her and she’d never be unhappy or alone again.
Madness.
But it didn’t feel mad. It felt right. Maybe it was the protective male being fired in him, but he’d never felt anything so strongly before. He was holding her and the desire to hold on to her forever suffused his entire being. Meredith, he thought, the woman he’d been waiting for. She’d finally come to him, out of his dreams and into real life.
Merry...the name slipped into his mind, tantalising with its emotional pull, yet too associated with her love for another man for him to use. He wished...no, he couldn’t unwish the past. Without Kimberly they might never have met.
God! He’d forgotten Kimberly!
The lights were on in the house. She’d gone inside. If she’d witnessed this scene she’d be more than happy to leave them to it. Not that it meant what she probably thought, but what the hell! He’d sort it out with her tomorrow.
BOOK: Merry Christmas (Mills & Boon Vintage 90s Modern)
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