Mermaids Singing (27 page)

For the first time in her life, Kitty had fallen out with Jem and it upset her deeply. She knew he was hurt that she had pawned her half of the gold sovereign, but there had been no need for him to be so unreasonable about it. He had got her all shaken up inside. He had no right to come back and start demanding the impossible from her, nor had he any right to criticise Bella, when he knew nothing about her or the dreadful treatment she had received from Sir Desmond. She waited for him to apologise, but he remained stubbornly silent.

Not being on speaking terms with Jem proved almost impossible in the narrow confines of the house in Tanner’s Passage. Kitty took to getting up extra early and leaving for work before anyone else had woken up. One evening, after more than a week of silent feuding, Jem made a point of packing up his textbooks and took them upstairs to the sitting room, stating loudly that he was going to study. Bella and Maria had already left for the theatre, seemingly oblivious to the strained atmosphere. Betty and Maggie exchanged meaningful glances and Kitty bowed her head over the particular piece of sewing that she was working on.

Kept awake by the niggling cough that had only come on since she started working with the choking fumes and dust in the blacking factory, Kitty lay on her narrow bed, looking up at the stars. She thought about the times when she had imagined that they looked down on Jem, sailing far away on his ship, and gradually her anger faded. She wished with all her heart that they could be friends again, but some stubborn little core inside her would not allow her to apologise. She would not permit Jem, or any other man, to tell her what to do, even if he happened to be right on occasions. She would not admit that her dearest wish was to get away from the filthy, back-breaking and tedious work in the factory. She couldn’t tell him that her lungs were becoming congested, or that the black stains wouldn’t scrub off her skin and made cracks appear on her hands, which rapidly turned into infected sores.

No one knew how she suffered daily from the taunts and jibes of the other girls. They had picked on her from the start, mimicking the way of speaking that she had learnt in Dover Street, and that now came naturally to her. Although she sometimes found herself slipping back into the rich cockney tones of the people working around her, they took it to be a mocking impersonation and punished her for her quick ear. Sometimes she found a lump of boot black in the bottom of her mug of tea; her slice of bread and dripping would mysteriously disappear, so that she had nothing to eat at dinner break. Unspeakable things were scrawled about her, in big black letters, on the walls of the outside lavvy. The girls tormented her, the younger men tried to get off with her, and the older ones either turned a blind eye or fancied their chances along with their younger workmates and, of these, the foreman was the worst. Altogether, the blacking factory was a place of torment and Kitty knew she had to escape, but she would do it when she was ready, when she had found a suitable alternative, and not because Jem Scully said so.

As the end of the week drew nearer, Kitty knew she had to do something. There was no show on Sundays and Bella and Maria would be around for the best part of the day. Maria’s sharp eyes would spot that there was something wrong, and Bella would be upset if she discovered that she was in some way to blame for the row, although these days she was so preoccupied with her stage career that she seemed to be living in another world. Apart from all that, Kitty was heartily sick of avoiding Jem. Sometimes, she could feel his eyes boring into the back of her head, but when she turned around, he would look away. Jem was as stubborn as the proverbial mule and he would not be the first to give in; Kitty racked her brains to think of a way that would save face for both of them.

It was Saturday evening and Kitty was feeling particularly low. The children had been sent to bed early, after an exciting day trip. They had come home grubby, tired and sick from stuffing themselves with ice cream and gobstoppers, babbling incoherently about the sights they had seen. Jem and Maggie had taken them to the Royal Victoria Gardens on the riverbank in Silvertown, but Kitty had not been included in the invitation. As she had to work every Saturday, it had not really been an option, but that didn’t prevent her from feeling left out and miserable. Betty hadn’t said anything, but Kitty had seen the ‘well, it’s your own fault’ look on her face.

Maggie’s happy smile faded as she came into the kitchen and found Kitty, on her own for once, standing at the sink, peeling potatoes.

Kitty dropped the last potato into the big black saucepan full of water. She gave Maggie a sheepish grin. ‘It’s all right, Maggie. I know I brought it on myself. You obviously had a lovely day.’

‘Make it up with him, Kitty,’ Maggie said, yanking the hatpin from her battered straw hat. ‘He’s planning to go back to sea next week because he feels so bad.’

‘I’ll not apologise,’ Kitty said, hefting the pan onto the range. ‘He’s got to learn that I won’t be pushed around.’

‘Takes two to quarrel, ducks, and you’re upsetting Betty.’

‘I know it,’ Kitty said, picking up the long, slightly rusty hatpin and staring at it thoughtfully. ‘You’re right, Maggie, but I’ll need your help.’

Kitty eyed the blackened tip of the hatpin nervously; beneath the layer of soot it was hot from being held in the fire. She handed it to Maggie, who stood poised for action, holding the cork from a vinegar bottle.

‘Make it quick then,’ Kitty said, closing her eyes and holding her breath.

‘This might hurt a bit,’ Maggie said, jabbing the pin right through Kitty’s earlobe until it stuck in the cork.

Kitty let out a squeal of pain, her eyes watering. ‘Bloody hell!’

‘Don’t swear, it ain’t ladylike,’ Maggie said, tugging at the hatpin and drawing it out through the blackened hole. ‘Hold on while I slip the earring in. Oh, and better hold that cloth to your ear, it’s bleeding a bit.’

‘That really hurt,’ Kitty said, dabbing at her ear and examining the bright scarlet stain on the material.

‘Don’t be a baby,’ Maggie said, stabbing at the other ear. ‘There, it’s all over.’

Tears of pain ran unchecked down Kitty’s cheeks as Maggie hooked the last earring into her raw flesh. She was staunching the trickles of blood when Jem walked into the kitchen.

‘What’s going on? It sounded like someone stuck a pig.’

Kitty shook her head making the earrings jiggle painfully. ‘I love the greenstone earrings, Jem,’ she said, with a wobbly smile. ‘I don’t want us to fight.’

Jem opened his arms and Kitty walked into them.

In spite of Kitty’s pleas and Betty’s tears, Jem had made his mind up to go back to sea and nothing would budge him.

‘It’s not too late to change your mind,’ Kitty said, trotting along beside him as he strode towards the docks.

‘You’ll get into trouble at the works if you’re late,’ Jem said, quickening his pace.

‘I don’t care, Jem. I’m not giving up so easily.’

Jem slid his sea chest off his shoulders and dumped it on the pavement, mopping his brow on his sleeve. ‘I can’t stay in that house full of women; it’s driving me barmy. The
Mairangi
is sailing again tonight and I’ve got to go with her if I want to stay with Captain Madison. It’s a rough old life at sea, Kitty, and I think I might have given up at times if it hadn’t been for him.’

‘I know, I know,’ Kitty said, hopping from one foot to the other. ‘He’s a grand chap, so you keep saying, but think about your ma – she needs you more than ever now.’

Jem hefted the chest onto his shoulders and picked up his ditty bag. ‘Don’t go making me feel guilty. I’ve told you my reasons and, anyway, it’s best that I go now since you made it plain you don’t want me around.’

Breaking into a run in order to keep up with him, Kitty tugged at his sleeve. ‘That’s not true. I care for you, Jem, and I’ll miss you something awful when you’re gone.’

Jem stopped walking. ‘D’you mean that, Kitty?’

‘I do, but not in a lover-like way – not yet, anyway.’

‘You mean you might, later on?’

‘I just don’t know. Later on is a long time away.’

Jem strode on, saying nothing. He kept up a smart pace until they reached the jetty. Horse-drawn carts, laden with provisions, were ranged alongside the
Mairangi
, while stevedores finished loading the casks, sacks and crates into the ship’s hold. There was bustle and noise all around them as people milled about, bustling like ants up and down the gangplanks, going about their business. Huge cranes lifted heavy items off the quay wall, swinging them precariously overhead and then unloading them expertly onto the deck. Kitty covered her ears to shut out the thunderous sound of the metal hatch covers closing over the refrigerated holds. She gazed around in awe, feeling small and insignificant in the shadow of the huge ship.

Jem, for his part, seemed totally at home and Kitty recognised a gleam of excitement in his eyes. Pushing his cap to the back of his head, he bent down and kissed Kitty on the cheek. ‘This is it then.’

‘I suppose it is. You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, Jem Scully.’

‘You’re a stubborn little monster yourself, but I love you all the same.’

‘Here we go again. Don’t you ever give up?’

‘You do care for me, Kitty. Don’t deny it.’

‘I will miss you, Jem, and I’ll pray every night for your safe return.’

Pulling something out of his pocket Jem held his clenched hand out, palm downwards. ‘Give me your hand.’

Eyeing him doubtfully, Kitty shook her head. ‘It’s not a spider, is it?’

Chuckling, Jem took her hand and he pressed the half-sovereign, now fixed to a fine gold chain, into her palm. ‘Luckily old Sparks hadn’t found a customer for it.’

‘Oh, Jem, you shouldn’t have. Now I feel really mean.’

‘Take it as a friendship token,’ Jem said, taking the chain and fastening it around her neck.

‘I’ll wear it always,’ Kitty said, touched beyond anything and attempting to smile.

A toot on the ship’s horn made them both jump.

‘Got to go.’

‘Take care of yourself, Jem. Have wonderful adventures and come back and tell me about them.’

‘I’m going to catch a falling star,’ Jem said, caressing Kitty’s cheek with the tip of his finger, ‘and hear mermaids singing.’

Kitty stared at him in alarm. ‘Have you gone barmy?’

‘It’s a poem by a geezer called John Donne, a chap who died centuries ago.’

‘You reading poetry.’ Kitty giggled. ‘Whatever next, Jem Scully?’

‘Captain Madison has a sea chest full of books and he lets me read any that I’ve a mind to. I’m educating myself.’

‘Blimey!’

‘One day I’ll be a rich man and make you proud of me.’

‘I’m proud of you now, but from what I’ve seen of rich men it don’t make them any better than the poor ones.’

‘We ain’t all bad, Kitty. If only I could make you believe that.’ Holding her face between his hands, Jem looked deeply into Kitty’s eyes. ‘If only I could rub away those bad memories, I know I could make you love me.’

Swallowing hard, Kitty blinked away tears. ‘Oh, Jem, please don’t. I do love you, of course I do.’

‘But not in the way I love you.’

‘I don’t know. Just give me time.’

‘I’ll give you all the time in the world and more, sweetheart, and I’ll catch that falling star and bring it back for you to wear in your hair. You see if I don’t.’ Picking up his gear, Jem headed off towards the gangplank, whistling cheerfully.

That’s how I’ll always remember him, Kitty thought, smiling through a veil of tears. ‘Go and catch your falling star, Jem,’ she whispered. ‘I hope you hear your mermaids singing, but more than that, I want you to come back, safe and sound.’

The factory gates were locked. Kitty shook them, shouting for the gatekeeper to let her in. He came out of his hut, eyeing her suspiciously.

‘Let me in,’ Kitty gasped, trying to catch her breath, having run all the way from the dock. ‘I’m late as it is.’

He shook his head and spat into the dust at her feet. ‘Gates is locked. No one in and no one out till the hooter blows. You’ve had it for today.’

‘Oh, please. I can’t afford to lose a day’s pay.’

Glancing over his shoulder, the gatekeeper produced a bunch of iron mortice keys and unlocked the side gate. ‘Slip in quick and you might be lucky but don’t let on it was me what let you in.’

‘Ta ever so,’ Kitty said, scuttling past him and hurrying to the shed where she worked. She opened the door just wide enough to slip through the gap, and was making her way to her end of the workbench, when she saw the foreman bearing down on her.

‘You’re late, Miss Cox.’

‘I – I’m sorry, Sir. I was taken poorly in the night but I feel a bit better now.’

‘This could be a sacking offence, you know.’

‘But that’s not fair. This is the first time I’ve been late and I work hard.’

‘We could discuss this in my office.’

He was leaning so close to her that Kitty could smell onion breath and stale sweat; he was smiling and his yellowed teeth reminded her of fangs. Old memories came flooding back, she felt sick, and when he trailed his fingers over her breast she could stand it no longer.

‘Get your hands off me. You can keep your bloody job. I wouldn’t work here another day if you paid me in gold.’

Kitty let herself into the house and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She found Betty sitting at the kitchen table, holding her head in her hands, her shoulders heaving.

‘Betty, what’s wrong?’

Betty raised a tear-stained face and thrust a sheet of paper in Kitty’s hands. ‘We’re ruined, Kitty. The lease on the house has expired and the land agent wants sixty pounds to renew it. He might as well have asked for six hundred, because there’s no way I can raise that sort of money.’

Kitty dropped onto the chair next to her. ‘But I thought Captain Scully had bought the house.’

‘He did but it was leasehold. I never thought to check the deeds when Herbert passed away. I assumed it had years to run but it hasn’t. Kitty if we can’t find sixty pounds by the end of the month we’ll all be out on the street.’