Mercy for the Wicked (16 page)

* * *

I felt dirty after the incident, but the prospect of stripping down to wash was unappealing.  A quick check in the mirror showed my shoulder was smooth and unblemished.  There wasn’t any trace of blood on the dress, it was almost as if it hadn’t happened at all.  Besides scaring me and the pain during the actual bite itself, he hadn’t done any lasting harm.  So why did I feel like weeping? 

Nelo showed up a little while later, but I didn’t feel like talking or even being seen.  Drawing the heavy bed curtains closed, I lay back on the bed, tears flowing while I tried to figure out how in the hell I was going to get out of it before Raum decided he wanted to take our ‘partnership’ to the next level. 

An hour later, I had nothing.  If it was true that Midian was somehow shielded from the rest of the world, Sam or Adam might not have any idea what happened to me.  As far as Ben knew, I vanished into thin air from his garage, he wouldn’t be able to offer any help.  I hadn’t visited the Ether the night before, and I wasn’t sure if that was because I’d been too tired to dream, or if I was actually blocked from getting there in Midian.  That was something, at least I wasn’t getting attacked on two fronts.

If I called for Adam, would he even hear me?  Or would he be too afraid to come for me, as Raum implied?  “Adamiel…”  His name slipped from my lips like a prayer, and I felt stronger for saying it.  “Adamiel, please come, I need you.”  When Adam did choose to show up, he always came fairly quickly in the past, but I’d never tried calling him from another plane of existence before either.  Closing my eyes, I focused on the faint link between us, that tendril of a bond I’d gotten used to since the gift of his Grace.  I could feel Adam out there somewhere, but he felt far, even farther than before.  “Ugh, this is ridiculous.  Even if I call him, he probably won’t come,” I sighed into the empty room. 
Unless…
unless I didn’t give him a moment’s peace until he came to rescue me.

Have you ever played that name game?  You know, say your name is Matt, it goes Matt, Matt bo-batt, banana fanna fo-fatt, fee fi mo-matt, Ma-att.  In my defense, I wasn’t sure what else to try.  Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, right?  Well, I tried it with Adam’s true name.  Over and over again.  Adamiel, Adamiel bo-badamiel… and so on, until it became a mindless rhythm in my mind, one round of it flowing seamlessly to the next, pausing only to breathe.  I’m sure if Nelo was still around out there, he probably thought I’d gone completely bonkers, and hey, maybe I had. 

The tune had long since fallen out of the song and become more of a chant when I felt a rush of air stir the curtains.  My heart swelled in greeting a half second before I heard his familiar voice, like a caress.  “You called?”

“Adam!”  I pushed aside the bed curtains, half afraid it was a trick, but there he stood, looking good enough to eat in a pair of jeans and a slim fitting black t-shirt. 

“I’d say that’s my name, don’t wear it out, but wait… you already did that.”

“You really came…”  Maybe I was a little out of it from my emotional storm, but I couldn’t remember any of the reasons why I was mad at him in that instant, I was so glad to see him.  But then he opened his mouth and I remembered. 

“You do get that it’s dangerous for me to be down here, right?”  There was a generous helping of annoyance delivered with that sarcasm, and I felt my temper flare.

“Oh and it’s not for me?” My voice rose incredulously.  “Do
you
not get the concept that Raum wants to eat me?  Slowly, over time.”

“Yeah, exactly.  Slowly.  You’re in no real danger for a while, have a drink and try to go with it for now.  Me, on the other hand, if they catch me down here I’m toast.”

“Try and go with it?”  I couldn’t believe he said that to me, how could I have been so far off base about his feelings for me?  Was I confusing his gift of Grace for love?  “Then why did you bother to come down here at all?”  My eyes narrowed suspiciously. 

“To get a little peace and quiet.  Promise me you’ll let up on the nursery rhymes, will you?”               

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this.  You risked coming down here to get me to stop calling you?  That’s it?  You’re not taking me with you?”

“Take you with me?  Why would I do that?  This is the best thing that could have happened to you.  No one can get a line on you when you’re down here, not from either side.  You’re safer here than you would be back in the world with the Five-Oh.”

I sank back onto the bed, the strength gone out of my legs.  “You aren’t seriously going to leave me down here, are you?”

“Just for a little while longer while I work on a few things, you’ll be fine.” A careless shrug was given.  “You look great by the way.”  His eyes traveled appreciatively up and down my body, still clad in the red, Grecian dress, with all the jewelry Raum dressed me in. 

“That’s all you have to say to me?”

“What do you want me to say?” he stared at me blankly and I felt something break inside of me.

“You know what?  Forget it.  If you don’t know, there’s nothing I can say to clue you in about it.”  He either cared or he didn’t, I wasn’t going to beg. 

“Jesus, Mercy, don’t you think you’re making a big thing out of this?  I mean look at this place, it doesn’t seem so bad.”  Adam tugged on the bed curtains. 

“Doesn’t seem so bad?”  Do you have any idea what I’ve been through lately?  I needed you and you weren’t there for me.”

“And yet you came through it just fine.  You don’t give yourself enough credit, Mercy.”  He seemed almost proud of that fact, but I took no enjoyment in it.  Maybe it was even true, but it didn’t change the fact that I couldn’t count on him.  Not that I expected to be the center of his universe, but you don’t tell a girl you’ll come whenever she calls and then switch it off without ruffling a few feathers. 

“Where were you, Adam?  I called for you and you were a complete no-show.  You heard me, didn’t you?  Not only now when I made it unbearable for you, but you heard me before, right?”

“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t sit around waiting to come to the rescue, you know.  I have other things that put certain demands on my time, but now that I’m here…” he scooted closer to the bed and I recognized that look.

“You don’t even care, do you?”  Oh, I was livid!  I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face, and I settled for shoving against his chest as I pushed past him, needing a little space between us.  “You don’t care that Azazael tried to rape me, or the fact that I had to stab myself to get out of the Ether when he decided to try and ‘break’ me.”

Adam’s expression grew thunderous, all traces of amusement gone from his face.  “He what?”

I wasn’t sure which part he was confused about and I was too upset to care.  “Or that Raum used me as his own personal chew toy when he fed off me, do you?  I guess it’s fine as long as it doesn’t leave a scar and I still look pretty for you, huh?  As long as I’m quiet and out of the way, you’re happy.”  I worked myself up into a good lather, the tears falling in earnest as I started to feel sorry for myself all over again. 

“Mercy…” he chased after me, and I let him catch me because as much as I didn’t want to look at him, part of me wanted him to comfort me very much.  “Come here.”  His strong arms wrapped around me and I leaned into his chest, simultaneously loving and hating how easily his embrace soothed me.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know… You never said he…” his throat worked as he swallowed, jaw clenching.  “You always sound so strong, I thought you had it under control.”

“You heard me then?”  My head came up in surprise.  Although I’d suspected it was him on the other side of those phone calls, it was gratifying to find out he cared enough to reach out to me.

“Do you always pour your heart out like that to total strangers?” The ghost of a smile flickered across his face.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything then?”  We were close, closer than we’d been in a long time, I didn’t think the Ether counted.  His eyes raked over my face and I could see the indecision warring within him. 

“‘Cause I’m an idiot,” he admitted, whatever barrier he’d erected against the idea of ‘us’ crashing under the temptation.  His lips descended over mine hungrily, like a starving man set before a banquet.  I kissed him back for all I was worth, those weeks of separation falling away the moment his lips touched mine.  Alone in the night I could tell myself I didn’t need Adam in my life, but with the man himself there, it was a little harder to stick to. 

It was different kissing him, the bond between us stronger, maybe from his gift of Grace, or maybe it was something else.  All I knew was I dreaded the moment it would end, because I knew each time we parted it would be harder to say goodbye.  So I concentrated on making a memory to last me through those times when we’d be apart, savoring every touch of his hands , every brush of his lips, every breath that mingled with mine until finally he pulled away, pressing his forehead to mine.

“I hate to say this, but…”

“You have to go,” I nodded slowly, but neither of us moved to part just yet.  “You can’t keep doing this to me.”

“I know,” he sighed, fingers tracing the curve of my jaw.

“I have a life.  I have a boyfriend.”  Inside I dared him to challenge me about it, claim me as his, but his face darkened.

“I know.”

Disappointed, I pushed a little harder.  “You can’t expect me to wait around for you forever, taking whatever crumbs you toss my way when you feel like it.”  But I would, I knew that about myself and I felt like shit for it, because it wasn’t fair to Ben and it wasn’t fair to me. 

“I know.”

A furrow appeared on his brow and I wasn’t sure he was even listening to me anymore.  “Will you stop saying you know?  Can’t you give me something to hold onto?  Some kind of hope?  Or is this it?  You’re leaving me here until you’re good and ready and when you do take me out of this place things go back to the way they were?  You in whatever forsaken corner of the world you’re holed up in and me…”

“Shut up for a minute, I’m thinking,” he muttered absently and my eyes closed as I tried to reign in my temper.  Sweet Jesus, why did I bother?  “You said Raum bit you before, why was that?  His kind doesn’t crave the taste of flesh.”

I blinked at the sudden subject change, my argument losing a bit of steam.  “He didn’t take a bite out of me to chew on, he bit down on me, to make me hit him with the Grace.”

“Why didn’t you let him have it?  Why did you let him hurt you?” Adam frowned, his fingers pushing aside my hair to check for damage along my neck and shoulders. 

“Why did I
let
him hurt me?”  I couldn’t help but roll my eyes over that one.  “Um gee, let me think… maybe because I don’t know how to perform on command?  I’ve only done it a few times before and it seemed to flow naturally, but this time it wouldn’t come.” 

“Okay then, let’s see what we have to work with.”  Taking a step back, he picked up my hand and laid it over my heart.  “Come on, hit me here.”

“Are you high?” I tried to snatch my hand away, but he held it fast. 

“Don’t worry, you won’t hurt me.”

“Why not?  It seemed to slow Azazael up.”  Not for long, but I did have the impression it hadn’t been a good thing.

“You hit him, huh?  That’s my girl,” he grinned.  Oh yeah, there was definitely pride in his voice.  “Don’t worry though, I can take it.  I’m more interested in getting you to learn a little control before I leave you here.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”  I wasn’t even sure I could.  I wasn’t afraid of him and that seemed to be the only thing that triggered it.

“Are you sure?  I kind of deserve it,” he taunted.

“I can think of better ways to punish you.” I gave him an arch smile, unable to resist that teasing grin. 

“As tempting as that sounds, let’s try and focus on giving you some manner of protection.”

“I can’t hit you with it, I told you, I can’t control it.”

“Do you need me to be scary?  Is that it?  I could come after you.” He stepped closer, eyes flashing in what I assume was supposed to be a menacing manner, but it made me giggle.

“It doesn’t work like that, I’m not afraid of you.”

“No?  What about now?”  In one deft movement, Adam pinned me against the bed with his body.  “The last time I did this, you lit up like a Christmas tree.”

“That was a long time ago.” My hands slid up and around his body, enjoying the play of muscles under his shirt.  “Now I don’t mind so much.”

“I bet I can do something else to make you glow…”

Chapter Eleven

The lesson forgotten, his lips pressed against mine, begging entrance.  I was no better, forgetting the fact that Raum could come back at any time, and the danger he risked with every second he lingered.  Or maybe that made it all that much sexier as we made out like there was no tomorrow.  His hands skimmed all over my body, leaving all manner of interesting tingles in their wake.  As I opened my eyes, I saw he was right, I was glowing faintly, but not from fear. 

“Does that always happen?”  I murmured, noticing the faint nimbus of light that surrounded him as well. 

“I have no idea, I never made it with another angel before,” he grinned, studying his hand with interest.  “I have to say, I feel a little…”

“What?”  I prompted, but he shook his head.  “Do you think the same thing would happen if I kissed Sam?”

“Have you been thinking about kissing Sam lately?” he pulled back, a disgruntled look on his face.

“Well, you’ve been gone an awful long time…” I couldn’t resist a little tease, but it was too hard to maintain my expression, so I let him off the hook.  “No, you’re the only one I think about kissing when I shouldn’t be,” I sighed.  “I wonder what would happen if we…”

“Time to get back on track,” he cleared his throat, rolling off of me.  I got the sense that he deliberately tried to distract himself so as not to think about
that
with the bed in such close proximity.  “Let’s try something else.  Here, sit up and close your eyes.”  He pulled me up to a sitting position and knelt on the ground before me.