Authors: Amy Johnson
“O
K
, so you sexually harassed a few old men. That’s not so bad. I’ll take you back and you can say sorry and you’ll be back in your room by bedtime.”
“It gets better,” Granny said. “Or worse if you’re poor Frankie.”
Great!
“Go on,” Megan mumbled.
“So we’re playing poker and after me and Mildred cleaned Sam and Harry out of their Social Security checks we got bored
,
so we decided to make it interesting.”
“Oh hell,” Megan growled, “I hate interesting.” Her grandmother smiled and Megan knew from the twinkle in her eyes that whatever was coming next was bad.
“So we decided up the stakes and play strip poker. We was doing pretty good too till Olivia dropped her top and Frankie had a heart attack.”
Megan dropped her head on the table and waved her hand in the air for Granny to go on. It couldn’t get much worse could it? It’s not like the last time Granny got kicked out for showing up to the line dancing class wearing only a cowboy hat, an arm sling and smile.
“So,” Granny continued, “We buzzed Pork Chop the four hundred pound nurse to roll Frankie out so someone else could take his spot at the table. Next thing I know Herb and Otis are fighting over Frankie’s chips and a fight breaks out.”
“Of course,” Megan mumbled.
“Then Frankie starts yelling at them to leave his chips alone and I look around for Mildred and find her dancing topless on her hospital bed throwing back the last of her forty ounce.” Jack winced at the mental picture Granny was providing. “Once Frankie got an eyeful of Mildred’s quarter pounders he clutched his heart again and keeled over.”
“Wait a minute, quarter pounders?” Megan asked and Granny and Jack both laughed.
“Her boobies
,
Megan. Get with the program
,
” Granny said and all Megan could do was picture Mildred Myers- her first grade teacher- flashing her hamburger style boobs at her and asking her if she’d like mayonnaise or mustard. “Should I go on?” Granny asked.
“I’m dying to hear it,” Jack said and Megan thought about drop kicking him out of his chair just because he was there and she was frustrated and he was enjoying himself way
too
much.
“So when the dweeb nurse gets there Frank is sprawled out face down
on the floor
, Herb and Otis are throwing poker chips at each other fighting over Frankie’s winnings, and Mildred is giving Benny a lap dance.” Megan pounded her head again, this time hard, and thought about standing under a tree in a
lightning
storm. “Old Mildred,” Granny continued with a wistful look,
“
she’s a hot little thing. Shoot
,
when they dragged her off that bed she had dollar bills sticking out of her panty hose. Think she made about twenty bucks but won’t know for sure till they get all the poker chips out of her stockings.” Granny pulled Megan’s head up by her hair and said, “You listening to me?” Megan nodded and Granny went on. “Good thing Nazi Nurse grabbed her by the waist and
dragged
her down, because she was just about to kick old Crazy Howie’s shriveled up butt cause he put a five spot in her waist band and was digging in her panty hose to make change.” Granny smiled and Jack broke out in a roar of laughter. “Men just don’t have respect for strippers no more.”
“It’s a damn shame what the world’s coming to,” Jack agreed.
“So in one night
,
Granny,” Megan began trying to process everything, “
y
ou turned a Christian Nursing Home into a scene from a sleazy Vegas Casino complete with a dead guy and eighty year old strippers.”
“Mildred’s only seventy-four
,
Megan
,
and Frankie was going to die anyway. Might as well croak staring at a nice pair of jugs…”
“OK
,
Granny, that’s it. You can’t stay here. My life is a mess and you’re crazy. I’m going over to Mom’s and I’ll kick the door down if I have to. Be ready to go. Mom will be here to pick you up in a few minutes.”
“I guess you’re not having sex yet
,
” Granny said winking at Jack. “Maybe you should grab him and go upstairs. Loosen you up a little. You’re just like you’re mother, uptight and repressed.” Megan let out a screech and threw her hands in the air.
“I have plenty of sex Granny and…”
“Not according to your mother
.
S
he says you been kissing this good looking guy though.” She turned back to Jack
.
“That you?” He nodded and she said, “You sure look like fun. If Megan don’t jump you soon give Granny a call. I’ll tuck you in bed and show you how we used to do it in the forties.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, cutie,” Jack said and Megan grabbed him by the arm and
dr
agged
him outside.
“Jack, keep an eye on her. I’m going to run to my Mom’s and make her come get her.” Jack grinned and Megan slapped his shoulder. “This is not funny.”
“Oh
,
I don’t know
.
S
eems pretty damn funny to me. Now I know where you get all your spunk from.” Jack noticed that Megan was still grasping his arm and he wrapped his other arm around her waist. Her body stilled and for a moment she relaxed into him.
“Don’t let her out of your sight,” Megan warned.
“We’ll be fine,” Jack said brushing his lips against her temple.
“And don’t let her by the phone. The last nursing home she was in kicked her out for prank calling the mayor.” Megan felt Jack laugh against her forehead and she didn’t want to move. He was a lot easier to resist when he was pond scum.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep her busy,” Jack said trailing his lips down her cheek.
“Don’t let her frisk you,” Megan said enjoying his sensual teasing kisses.
“You jealous?” Megan broke the embrace
,
eyes wide.
“No, of course not.”
“Just checking,” Jack answered
,
missing her heat immensely. “Go on
.
I
f we get bored we’ll play strip dominos or Spin the Bottle.” Megan smiled and Jack couldn’t resist her anymore. To hell with his head, his heart was right. He never had a chance. He was a goner. Big time. And he didn’t care.
“OK, I’ll be back. Fifteen minutes tops.”
“Be careful,” Jack said as she turned to go. Then, abruptly, he grabbed her arm and she spun back around “One more thing, Megan.”
“What?” she said
,
and before she realized what was going on Jack had her in a tight embrace, his hands holding her tightly at the hips, his warmth and touch leaving her almost breathless.
“This,” he whispered before lowering his head and claiming her mouth with his. His touch electrified her and she parted her lips and he captured her tongue with a fierceness that buckled her knees. She pulled back a little but he drew her closer, hungrily commandeering her mouth until she gave up and deepened the kiss, mingling her tongue with his. She heard his approval by the low groan that came from his throat and when she wrapped her arms around him letting them caress his muscular back she felt him jump, releasing a short burst of air and she smiled inside. She’d done that to him and it felt awesome. His hand lingered to her round butt and she too released a breath she realized she’d been holding. His now obvious erection brushed her stomach startling her and she was thankful the kiss was interrupted by her grandmother’s voice stating that she needed her medicine.
Jack broke the sultry kiss and rested his head on her forehead gazing into her eyes with a hungry, unquenchable lust.
“I’ve waited fifteen years to do that,” he said in a low satisfied voice and if Granny hadn’t been shouting at them Megan might have questioned the meaning of those words. Megan stepped back and touched her swollen kiss-stung lips.
“The shot glasses are over the refrigerator,” she told Jack as she started down the driveway.
“Shot glasses?” He asked, wanting her back in his arms immediately.
“Yeah,” Megan said
.
“Her medicine is moonshine. It’s probably in her red bag. I’ll be right back. Have fun.” Mrs. Everett’s porch light shut off and Megan grinned. Let the old bat get her kicks.
Jack watched her depart
,
admiring the view of her firm little bottom with just enough jiggle to make any man’s hormones sizzle and when she slowly turned her head back and gave him that smile he thought he’d died and gone to heaven.
Megan enjoyed the two block jog to her mother’s. She needed it to cool her off from Jack’s sizzling heat and get her brain back to the problem at hand. Granny.
Her mother would know what to do about Granny and then Megan could figure out what to do with Jack. And how many times. In how many positions.
And where the hell had that come from? Jack was a rebel, a PI who bordered criminal level. He probably had a rap sheet, a couple of illegitimate children, bad credit
,
and trailer house.
But he was gorgeous and funny and the walking picture of up against the wall, forbidden, heart stopping sex. Hell the passion in that kiss alone had surpassed anything she’d felt in the last half of her marriage. And despite her logical, analytical mind that was telling her he was bad news, she wanted more of him. If that one, short kiss was any indication of what Jack Westin could do to a woman then…
Heart racing wildly and hormones overflowing she opened the back door of her
parents’
house and let the screen slam shut. She saw the glow of the T.V. from the living room, Jeopardy on the screen, her dad in his chair.
“Hi Daddy,” she called out and got a quick wave which was all anyone ever got from him when Jeopardy was on. She hollered for her mother and found her folding clothes in the bedroom. She looked at Megan with a knowing smile and a guilty twinkle in her eye. Megan planted her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes.
“Mom, you have to go get her,”
“No.” Her mother shook out a sheet and said, “Grab an end, dear.”
“What do you mean no?” Megan grabbed the end of the sheet and helped her fold it. “She’s driving me crazy.”
“Short trip,” her mother muttered and Megan grunted and took the sheet to finish folding it.
“Go get her. She’s already read Jack’s palm and she coming on to him
,
Mom. Like sexually
.
” She shuddered. “It’s… gross.”
Her mother was smiling. “Yeah, she does that.” She tossed another sheet at Megan. Raising her eyebrows she said, “You jealous?”
Megan bit back a
sl
ew
of curses that would have made a sailor blush. “Jealous? Are you kidding me? Of course I’m not jealous. Jeez
,
Mom!”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem? Gee
,
let’s see, maybe the fact that she’s like eighty.” Megan finished folding the sheet and handed it to her mother not amused with the humorous look on her mother’s face. “Grandmas aren’t supposed to have sex. I mean they shouldn’t even think about it. But no
,
my Granny is about to jump my…” Megan stopped. Her what? What exactly was Jack? He wasn’t her boyfriend that was for damn sure. Of course after that kiss…
“Boyfriend? Lover?” Her mother asked in a teasing tone.
“No!” But even Megan wasn’t convinced considering she’d answered the question too quickly with too much of a defensive tone. “Jack is strictly a friend.” Her mother laughed and raised her brows in a mocking gesture. “I swear Mom, he’s just my friend, but I’m not here to talk about Jack. Granny is the problem. She’s got to go. You have to go get her.”
“No. You’re her favorite grandchild. It would make her happy to spend time with you. Plus with Ted gone you might get lonely.”
I’d rather be lonely with Jack. “Mom, I’m her only grandchild and she hates me. Just ask her. By now she’s probably on the phone with that Nazi Nurse begging to go back to the home.”
“Or sitting in your boyfriends lap.” Megan’s eyes widened with shock. Her mother was definitely losing it. “You’d better run home. Granny moves fast. She might be ruining him for all other women as we speak.” The mental picture Megan got in her head was enough to kill every glorious raging hormone from Jack’s kiss. Suddenly her mother’s motive was clear. Damn devious woman.
“Mother! You’re just doing this to punish me.”
“Spending time with your grandmother is punishment?” All teasing and humor had left her voice and she was frowning at Megan obviously disappointed.
“Well no but…you’re just using this situation to your advantage.” Megan’s mother put her hands on her hips and glared at her daughter. “You’re sticking me with her so she can baby-sit and tell you everything I do. You just don’t want me to have sex or anything and you know I can’t with her around.”
Her mother looked at her incredulous
.
“So I send a sex crazed senior citizen, who after a couple shots of moonshine will be oblivious to the world
,
to keep an eye on you. Get real Megan
.
Y
ou
r
grandmother probably gets more than you do.”